/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

INTEL

https://www.christianmingle.com/

>Does it cost money?

free to join, only communicating via the site/app costs money. This can be circumvented somewhat by leaving your full name on your profile and the smart ones will make their cm handle the same as their fb/ig handle.

https://www.match.com (SECULAR, free to join, claims to have the largest Christian dating pool on the net, proceed with caution)

https://www.christiandatingforfree.com (free join/message, qt vault but possible bots)

https://www.catholicmatch.com/ (Mostly for Roman Catholics, maybe you can away with identifying as "little c"atholic if you aren't a dirty papist.)

>What about whores/whoremongers?

list/label yourself as "ultra-traditional", regardless of your denomination. This shows you are serious about it to avoid attracting the lukewarm and desperate. You will still get them, just kindly reject them as they come.

>What about pictures

Post pics from your social media to make you easy to identify if you're gonna be a cheap skate. Make sure the pictures show you at your best. No property showcasing or trashy club/party pics good Christians don't do those things anyways, right?

>What if no social media/pictures to choose from?

Get your family/friends to take or scan in pictures of you in your sunday best and business casual.nerd

>What do I write about myself?

Start with full name (for social media stalking purposes), self description (age, weight, height, gym/church frequency, hobbies, faults/body mods). State that you don't want a physical relationship before marriage. State that you like to dress well for church and in general for God's glory, have pics that back that up. State that you're ultra traditional, your denom, date of salvation, and state that you're looking for a mate to start a family. As such, state demographic ranges, hobbies, denoms (if any) desired, desired opposite sex roles listed in general expectations. List compromises based on your own shortcomings and affirm that if a potential suitor doesn't meet your expectations, wish them luck but to not message.

>What will people think?

Don't worry about it. Care about your goal of embarking on a proper Christian journey of marriage with a mate you will see as your peer.

>What tier should I get?

3 months tops. You will either find enough suitors to keep you busy, find the one, or you will completely burn out due to lack of success.

>What can I expect?

This varies on population density, as larger towns will have more mostly low quality local suitors and rural areas will have fewer, yet higher quality and distant ones. Your distance tolerance is to taste, but be prepared to find the perfect person outside of your comfort/taste zone. If you don't find someone in 3 months, take a break, continue to improve yourself in Christ, then try again when you're ready.

>First date?

Coffee shop. Low investment opportunity to see if the truth lives up to the small talk.

>I can't find my denom, what do?

As long as you both believe the Nicene creed and the Chalcedonian Definition, personal, doctrinal, and familial tastes/compromises apply.

>What's your personal experience?

There are tons of lovely christian girls 18-25 on the site. I was starting to burn out because I was in my late 20's and all the christmas cake on the site were either divorced, had kids out of wedlock, hit the wall, desperate, etc. If you are <28 years old should have much more success than I did if you're just as devout as I was. I got the six month plan, got burned out 2 months in, met a nice girl who was 3 hours away, then managed to find my waifu right before the 3 month mark, and wasted the other 3 months I paid for. I am certain that my personal adherance to all of the above mentioned was essential to my success but your mileage may vary.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS IN ORDER TO UPDATE OP FOR FUTURE THREADS

MAY THE PEACE OF THE LORD BE WITH YOU

Glory be to the Lord!

Fellas, I recently went on a date with a gal I've been talking to. Christ has really blessed me with her.

>The entire date we just play board games and talk and drink coffee

I've never had more fun playing Othello in my entire life. It was super nice. I'm glad that she feels the same way that I feel about her.

However, I have problems with lust. It's been a big weakness of mine, and I recognize it. Could I get some prayers for purity and strength? I would really appreciate it.

Praying for all of you anons. May Christ lead you to the right woman!

>>620179

>demean me

How? That sounds infuriating. I can get an inkling of what you mean and those people sound absolutely cancerous. A true leader will try to bring everyone in and lift them up.

>>620179

>getting over the autism of literally not being able to ask a girl to eat food with me

If you haven't done that you just have to find the guts to do it. This is how one builds the confidence to do it. The more you do it the more you get rejected(besides going on dates obviously) The more you get rejected the more you're resilient towards that.

Your problem: Your opinion of yourself is built on th fact whether the girl wants to hang out with you. This is prideful and what you got to do is to crush your pride. Your value is not established by what people think of you.

Not going to write long text here. Expand your comfort zone by talking with girls.

I recommend the following to expand comfort zone:

>If you watch porn or fap, stop doing both now

>If you do not work out, start doing so.

This will get your Testosterone up, re establish self esteem and in the matter of weeks to months create a good vibe that you're a pleasant guy.

>Get better at small talk.

Fake it till you make it.TV show 'Seinfeld' was educative for me in this. The show is crap but by watching it you do get the idea that you don't need to talk deeply about autistic things to get the attention. Take good leave bad.

>Find a youtube channel that deals with approach confidence: For me 'How to beast' is fine (take good leave bad)

The guy has got great advices on how to expand your confidence, also fitness, etc.

>game/approach literature : I recommend Day Game by Roosh to get the idea how attraction works (take good leave bad)

>>620189

>I'm constantly going back mentally between leaving and asking her out with the assumption I'll be turned down and I'm not sure what to do

Just do it. Don't think about being turned down. It isn't the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Sometimes it is the best thing - you do not get tied down, then the next day you meet a girl of your dreams.

Accepts>>>great

turns down>>>move on

Your worth is not established by the fact that girl likes/dislikes you. Always remember that.

>>620227

Of course it's OK for women to have boyfriends, without fornication. Just make sure he's Christian too, miss.

>>620247

:^)

>>620308

ok good. we’ll we’ve had a lot of faggots recently so it’s an issue

>>620242

The problem is you're trying to use Talmudic lawyering to justify your sinful impulses rather than admitting your fault and following God's path.

Pride is the root cause of homosexuality.

>>620329

God made woman for man, not man for man. You're in rebellion against the Spirit of the law.

>>620335

I think so. That kind of affection should only be between a man and a woman.

>>620345

What

Don't post more homosexual or pro-homosexual stuff here.

>>620363

reddit BTFO

>>620395

I have to come to realise with this that this board is not for me. Goodbye.

>>620397

>>620395

(to clarify, we are allowing freaks on this board to post about trans/degenerate/anime issues, which I despise)

>>620395

The bigger question is how can you get yourself to God? This is a senseless struggle, you are litera- this is bait isn't it? I'm falling for bait.

GOD HELP ME.

>>620401

I think I'll find it elsewhere than this board where you seem to allow transfreaks to post their nonsense.

>>620410

Why is this person not permabanned? Why delete threads but allow this trash to persist?

>>620447

YOU ARE FORGIVEN, GO AND SIN NO MORE

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men

break up with the guy and stop being a faggot. be celibate. sadly i'm pretty sure you're trolling now

>>620450

>She

You're going to hell unless you repent. Stop making excuses.

>>620503

Please remember that this is a thread about Christian relationships.

Don't post suggestive/lewd anime or sinful topics (e.g. homosexual "relationships").

>>620450

Jesus loves you. Think of all the desert fathers who only had Him.

>>620207

This guy recommends Roosh and his shitty books but honestly I find Chase Amante (girlschase website, everything on it is free) way more level-headed and better. Basically a better Roosh. HUGE disclaimer, obviously: TAKE GOOD, LEAVE BAD. Seriously. You may actually not even want to go on the site if you have lust problems because there's sometimes scantily-clad photos of women in the articles, if not almost-naked women in some small ads. But the advice has good elements, just add "don't worry about it" to the basics. If anything, google "girlschase fundamentals" and read an article or two.

Some gems:

Try to get your confidence to be where you don't care whether or not your'e rejected. This will take time and you'll never be perfect at it but work on it to where the process of getting over it is short. The autistic phrase the PUA guys use is "outcome independence"

>>620406

If you get so easily bothered by it, there's the door. It gets cleaned up quick, and it isn't always obvious if the person genuinely needs help or is a garbage troll.

>>620719

I went back on Facebook a little while ago and it seems like it died down a lot. Maybe its just where I am but it seems like Facebook isn't as constantly used as it once was

>>620663

Yeah. All game literature is 'become an over-man, stop being degenerate just so you can have sex with thots' trash..it is just packaged differently. You can get his books for free somewhere too. I have read those and it was sufficient for me. I do not read anything of this sort anymore.

Not trying to shill for Roosh here at all. lol

I am just pretty sure that had I not read something I wouldn't be able to stick to basics and be confident about myself when I speak to women. Perhaps it's the placebo effect, perhaps not. I got the feeling it created a solid skeleton. Now I just add the meat by trial/error, work out, etc.

After all I think any game material will do…if you TAKE GOOD LEAVE BAD. Do not become a gamer to bang thots.

Always view it through the 'I want to become a confident Christian, a pleasant guy who's not afraid to take risks' lens.

>>620719

Not a death sentence. After all if the girl is interested she will give you her phone number. Sometimes the death sentence is having social media and using them to 'make the move'

Texting is very easy, it does not push you outside your comfort zone at all. Personal contact is better. I deleted my account at one point. I determined I want to better myself. Result? it was difficult for me at first but I adapted. The girls were always curious as to why I do not have fb I even think it was beneficial. I got much more dates because I learned how to get them since I could not have relied on texting.

Eventually I came back. I do not use it for dating purposes though and I use it rarely anyway. I stick to getting number, setting the date personally/by calling her.

You might get it. It will get you a a chances to get some number here and there but it will not improve your game or anything.

I got it back simply to be in touch with old friends.

>>621017

Great! Polite sage because I may have posted in your other thread about this

>>620755

I completely agree and I did the exact same thing, only with Chase's website. I don't even look at it anymore and literally do what you do. I was given a "solid skeleton" and now just go by trial and error/genuinely getting to know girls. Right on about TAKE GOOD LEAVE BAD. The core of the PUA philosophy is deeply sinful and even atheistic (all about you and your life, no respect WHATSOEVER for what is sacred, least of all sex).

>>621017

Damaged goods tbh

>>621694

>I'm just being dumb and I should talk to her shouldn't I

Yes! One thousand times yes! You'll miss all of the shots you don't take, my friend.

>>621694

What's the worst that can happen?

>>620189

Dude I would love to talk to you about these issues and more privately if you would like. I am also orthodox and went through a time when I thought not being with that one girl would make me compare every other girl to her. Do you have discord?

>>621694

The first mistake: overthinking. Does she like me? She held eye contact this long, she laughed……so…..

Stop the over thinking . Walking up to a girl you find attractive is difficult as it is do not make it harder for yourself.

Go to her, talk to her in a casual manner. Assume she is interested in talking to you.

If you think about it: does she like me? if yes I can approach.

Just approach regardless of your gut feelings assuming she is interested. Confidence is always attractive. At worst she will be polite to you.

>>621323

I have the opposite problem. I'm so overly self-confident and proud it's ridiculous. Maybe my extreme love for myself pushes other people away? Sometimes I feel really depressed and down but it usually only lasts for a day or a few hours.

>>621323

>>621848

Forgot to add: even when I fail nofap or commit some other sin, I feel bad for a little while but usually shake it off after a few minutes and I'm back to being really confident and happy again. Knowing that I'm saved no matter what helps me keep my chin up I think.

>>621849

>Knowing that I'm saved no matter what

Are you?

>>621839

hmmmmmm you are correct friend. i need to learn to go with gut instincts more. i had the urge to speak to her but i didnt act on it, instead i stopped, thought about it, and got anxious

>>621829

Not sure if you're the same guy or not, but God bless for promoting this book. Keep spreading it to the ends of the Earth, it truly is the cure, a permanent cure, with no effort required.

Now our willpower can go to something useful, like getting fit.

>>621835

I don't really use discord. Right now I'm trying to not think of her as much, at least not think of her as the only girl I'm perusing. It's a weird feeling and I can't help but think I'm damaging my chances, but I think there could be something liberating in getting out of the mentality of chasing her, maybe my chances with her might even be better if I can break out of that and become a more healthy person in my views towards dating in general. I still can't really think of dating anyone else seriously, but maybe in time that will be more natural

>>621879

Yes my friend.

All the good girls here are married or engaged…and I’m really tired of being alone; should I just move to a new place in pursuit of a good woman?

>>622021

How will you know that the situation isn't the same where ever you move? That's one thing that keeps me from doing that

>>622023

Also most girls here are Orthodox, and I’m Catholic.

I’m just so tired of almost 6 years of solitude.

>>622019

What I like to call the problem that you have right now is falling in love with the IDEA of being with her. Naturally it will go away but to help this problem you can’t see her anymore and you can’t stalk her if you have social media. It needs time to fix that idea of you thinking about being with her. No one is perfect and no realationship is perfect becuase someone out there is putting up with her shit but you just don’t know it.

>>622020

It is amazing that you know you are saved even if you raped and ate alive a million babies, but Paul trembled.

>>620140

>a 10/10

It makes me sad that the thread creator uses the pornographic concep of "rates"

>Similar body types

Men and Woman look fundementally different from each other as a biological fact.

>similar income levels

Is this keeping the man down? Why can't a working man try his luck and marry into a wealthy family?

this are honest objections

>>622062

>even if you raped and ate alive a million babies

I won't though because I'm saved. Also, good deeds don't get you into heaven and bad deeds don't get you into hell.

>>622020

Youre a GOOD person if you dont use this as a carte blanque to sin.

>>622065

Satan was saved once too, ya know

>>621829

Maybe I'll read that book tomorrow..

I'm going to read all day to figure out what else I need to do.

>>622174

>saved

>once

Doesn't work that way pal

>>622238

If you live in a really big city, do this to random girls in malls or those girls trying to sell you stuff at stalls. In PUA theory its meant to break your ice with them and make it less nerve racking talking to girls.

I was too pussy to do it myself tbh.

>>622065

>I won't though because I'm saved

You sin daily

My Catholic buddy only likes Stacies. He thinks he's screwed, what shall I say? He wants a Catholic Stacey, essentially. Minus the ho-eyness obviously.

>>622678

Sanguine girls make good wives for a variety of men. If he can tame her from her degeneracy then he should be fine

>>622680

Indeed I agree but he is a virgin-only kind of guy. I am as well and have accepted the added difficulties that come with that, but I also have broader tastes in women than he.

>>621849

>Knowing that I'm saved no matter what

Yeah I am sure God loves this pompous attitude. He likes pride in general.

Oh wait.

>>622581

Dude if you were in Sydney i would present you with orthodox qts, in the meantime focus on other things and with time like i said it will stray. We are all gonna make it buddy

>>622848

>>622581

On another note you need to find a friends/friend who is willing to meet new girls and with this you can branch off and learn to be comfortable with women. Dont worry for now if they are christian or not just get used to the idea of meeting new girls and learning the social dynamic as some other posters have pointed on this board with the use of PUA. You can be 30-35 and be with a 20-25 year old so you have time in your early 20's to find a life partner so don't pressure yourself to find someone now. Hope this helps

I am in a difficult situation and would appreciate prayers and advice.

I am in my early 30s and have a child who was born out of wedlock. The mother is a Muslim woman. I was raised without any religion and spent my 20s fornicating, doing drugs, and wasting my life. Over the past couple of years, I have seen the error of my ways and have come to the Lord.

I will always be a part of my child’s life and hope to raise him as a Catholic. My fantasy is that I end my current relationship with his Muslim motherland find a Catholic girl to marry and have more children with so that I can set a good example for him. I don’t know if this would help or hinder his development really.

Does anyone have any advice?

>>622974

Self-mutilation is sin. Just buy dickcage. Or use wire.

>>622932

Not sure if abandoning his mother would be a good example for him.

No chances of marrying the woman, converting her? That would be the best example - a complete family, father strong in faith…

>>622974

Please don't

>>622974

I was thinking to kill myself, that way I would not offend God anymore. Then I realized suicide is a bad thing.

>>622976

>commit sin

>confess

>self mutilation and its benefits still stand,the wage of sin doesn't.

Your argument wouldn't convince anyone,im sorry to say.

>>623042

>>623073

Im afraid of it getting infected of having pee pee problems so I havent done it.

Maybe I should just ignoring thots

>>622848

Before I started entertaining again the idea of going out with this girl I had a plan for leaving my state and going on a long road trip from church to church, Sunday to Sunday, trying to find a place to eventually move to. This idea never went away but I started thinking about it less and less, but now I'm thinking about it more and getting hype again.

>>622850

I think this is something I've started to notice on my own, as I kinda mentioned above about my old friends. I'm starting to be a little more involved with people from work, invited to parties and stuff, and it's a lot more helpful towards my self confidence then only hanging around people from Church, where tfw no gf has set in pretty thoroughly.The age thing I'm more worried about. By the time I leave on my trip I could be 22 or 23, maybe older, and depending when I leave and how long I go for I could come back anywhere from 23 to 25 or so. If I don't date before that then I could be in my late twenties by the time I'm actually in a new location getting things together well, and that's assuming I find a nice place that works out and don't have to move again. It could get rough

>>622974

>My sex drive is so high…

Everyone blames 'high drive' 'high testosterone'.

>Do I go along with this?

What you should do is to man up and face it. Harming your body is not a solution. Furthermore your 'high sex drive' is mainly in your brain so you should face it there.

My problem is not an absolute lack of qts in church. There are many of them tbh. My problem is that I have not met the right one yet.

I do not think I have standards too high. I just really need to see how a girl could be a mother of our children. I also need to be physically attracted to her so we can make those children, as well as be connected in soul with her.

I do trust God. I pray for meeting that one but it just still does not happen.

What do you think….are the 'gut feelings' good enough to estimate this or should I follow the brain more in this?

>>623131

You don't have to marry them. Date plenty so you can see how women behave and how to act on a relationship

I've met this wonderful foreign student in uni, pretty, sweet and nice.

Sadly, she was a cultural Catholic, but with traditional points of view on culture, art and morals.

Sadly, when asking to grab a cup of coffee together, I've been rejected.

Oh well.

Somehow, I'm glad she did that because I was starting to get obsessed or found myself day-dreaming about her. Also it was really painful to text her, since she took hours or days to answer to a simple text.

Repost because I mixed up threads.

>>623965

probably for the best if she wasn't religious.

After all this effort, I have found out that she just went through a breakup ending a very long relationship, so a new one is the last thing on her mind right now. Nunna that's her fault, I understand that she's still hurting from it. But the disappointment is still very strong.

My mind is completely broken from thinking about whether to have relationships or not. There's this girl I've been banging my head against the wall for. I just need to say the word and she'll date me but I can't pull the fucking trigger. I just can't imagine myself doing all the relationship/marriage obligations, I'm too used to being completely free. I know the honeymoon period passes quickly too. But on the other hand, I might be missing something if I reject her.

I can't picture myself hauling kids around, taking the gf out, thinking is this fun enough for her, is she satisfied, I don't have a car will she dump me when she gets bored of using public transportation to get to dates, can I support a family, etc. She's also 8 years younger (she's over 18) than me and I'm afraid her parents would kill me if they heard she's dating a guy that's that much older.

I think I'll regret anything I do, I have no idea what do and what I want from my life.

>had a dream about this girl from church i try not to think about

>she said we're "just friends" but she'd be happy to "shitpost" with me

I did pray for something along those lines since my priest suggested I befriend her, but I don't know if I have the heart. Even looking at her causes me strain because I don't feel like I'm good enough to be around her. And if I were friends with her I'd probably struggle with wanting more. I don't even know if this dream should be taken as a sign of anything. What do? I want to follow his instruction but I don't want to tear myself up in the process.

>>626546

truly, the only real regrets one has in life are from the things not done, only fantasized about

>>626571

ok, on to the next one. nothing to lose sleep over. there are many “ones”, but not “the (only) one”. that sort of placing women on a pedestal (waifuism irl) is not Christian

>>626626

There's things to regret in both choices:

1. regret about losing freedom and having to do all the marriage related responsibilities and obligations

2. regret about not getting married

>>626571

I think I was in a situation similar, but I stayed friend with her. Sure it was rough at first but now I'm happy with the situation because I feel like I can advice her better and help her better as a friend than as a lover.

>>626627

This. "The One" is "The One You Marry" not "THE ONLY" one on Earth.

>>627075

Also I want to add, that "love at first sight" sensation, though rare, is not ONLY for one woman. It is rare, yes, but it is more of "this woman is really your type". I see one of those maybe once a year or two. But hoo boy, it's rare.

I'm Orthodox and currently dating a Catholic. Everyone around me keeps telling me to convert to Eastern Catholicism but I was very recently Baptized. I'm deeply in love with this girl. I don't know what to do. I'm hoping this is the right place to post this.

>>627742

Would she consider begoming?

>>627745

She wants to remain Catholic since that was here upbringing.

>>627754

How religious is she?

>>627757

She's not very religious

>>627760

Has she ever gone to a Liturgy?

>>627742

>changing your faith for a girl you like

>>620140

>Skim milk

>wikipedia links

Wrong

>hair color changes are wrong

>makeup is okay

Contradictory

>Opposites attract is a meme

Correct.

>>622560

Even better, start a singles only coed group so you/we won't die alone of course with Jesus you're never alone C:

>>627760

>>627742

Yeah this. She's less religious than you so why would you convert? Her family situation is probably very Catholic, perhaps discuss with them (or perhaps your priest for advice if he's empathetic) the situation?

I don't know how to Christian mingle, how do I see their denom. I'm basically completely uninterested in dating a non-Ortho so this is a pretty crucial thing to know

On match.com is there any way to sort for Orthos beyond Christian/other?

>>628407

>>628421

gotta do it irl mate. i've tried all the sites. no ortho girls

>>628424

I honestly just don't think I can do it. I pretty regularly feel terrible and wish I could die already, and if I made it so that even church isn't comfortable for me I don't know where I would be left. Not only would being turned down feel kinda bad, but if that happened with girls I know ifl from church then I wouldn't be able to worship at church, I would just constantly get side tracked thinking about what happened and wishing I wasn't there. Theres one other church here but I really like this one better and I don't want to give up what I have here, and over there only feastday ortho college girls show up from what I can see

>>628424

>no ortho girls

I just changed my radius to make it larger and now I see what it looks like when someones an Ortho. There's literally no Orthos in 100 miles and one in 200 miles that doesn't really look right

>>628432

relax man. visit other parishs if you have to. maybe even other kinds of churches if you are desperate. don't beat yourself up over not having a woman or even being lonely.

7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

22 For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

God knows what you want (read: NEED) better than you ever will. don't be upset when it doesn't happen on your timeline. btw, i asked a girl out from church and she flaked and made it awkward. i don't care. i'm there for God. i wouldn't care even if everyone there hated me. keep praying lad. God bless

>>628468

The problem is theres a girl at my church that I want whos family is centrals to the church. Like as long as shes there its hard to consider dating anyone else because I'll want her more. I've considered asking her out just to be turned down, but I can't be sure that would happen. I'm too much of a coward to ask her and can't end this all as much as I want to. I'm just getting of this never ending mess.

I bet you some time soon she'll get a boyfriend and I'll have to watch that all go down. All the while I'll have no girlfriends no matter how long as I live because I'm a spineless coward.

I wan't out, just not the cowards way out, other than suicide, like dating some godless ethnic or some nonsense.

I just want this over so much

t. vodka

>>628473

you won't know until you do. and if she says no it's not the end of the world. there are other women. you are drunk and overly sentimental, then you have this anger towards yourself, it will only get worse until you act on the things you want. i would know, i used to be a porn addict and be afraid of interacting with women. the only way to deal with this is to nut up and do it. sure your scared shitless the first time. but it only gets easier. you are cheating yourself out of life because of one woman. really dude? there is so much more. just stop thinking and take action. rejection? on to the next one. putting women on a pedestal is not christian.

>>628476

>you won't know until you do

Which is terrifying, I have no idea how to date someone, my entire childhood oriented me towards utter failure out of the fear of me dicking some chick, as if that was possible anyways.

>and if she says no it's not the end of the world

That what I want. I need some firm thing I can look back to as to why I don't peruse her anymore, no matter how much I choose to not peruse her anymore that only exists as long as I don't see her.

>there are other women

And I would like to get to know both of them. Freaking exotic faith has to be right and leave me with no wife right after my childhood and before I could have gotten married.

>you are drunk

Partially true

>and overly sentimental

Every day of my life

> then you have this anger towards yourself

Every second of my life

>it will only get worse until you act on the things you want

I want to text her so much but I know I shouldn't, and when I see her again I won't want to do anything

>i would know, i used to be a porn addict and be afraid of interacting with women

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, when will they make this nonsense illegal already

> the only way to deal with this is to nut up and do it

Wana go out, I love you, or something else?

>sure your scared shitless the first time

After that I can't go back without hating myself

> you are cheating yourself out of life because of one woman. really dude?

Straight up, she's beautiful inside and out, but it doesn't really matter who it is, if there was no one I would still be a lownly coward

> there is so much more

Theres highschool girls and liberal ecumenists and maybe one or two I can't pin down

> just stop thinking and take action.

Ay girl wana sit somewhere and talk for two hours, no I'm not good at talking, oh ya, well me neither, I was only pretending to be retarded

>rejection?

I hope so

> on to the next one.

implying

>putting women on a pedestal is not christian.

then all the people who raised me shouldn;'t have done it

>>628504

Maybe we should switch. I get plenty of female attention but don't want a gf because I like being totally free and not worrying about relationship stuff. Newsflash: the honeymoon period is over quickly and then you have the face all the obligations a relationship brings and it eats up 90% of your time.

What do

>be manlet to the point where it’s disability

>like only asian girls

>there are no christian asian girls in my country

>local whites are no-go because of height reasons and huge cultural differences

Only realistic option would be move to south korea but that is minimum of 3 years away.

I’m afraid I will be thrown out of my church for dating a non-christian.

>>628574

That's the dream, anon. Keep going and good luck.

>>628523

I think I speak for a lot of us when I say I know brother. But for us we don’t even have the option and we’ve never even experienced a “honeymoon phase” so it is very sad

>>628614

You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You know what happens when you enter a relationship because the honeymoon phase is nice? It fizzles, the girl falls for you hard and when you eventually decide to break it off because you have no feelings left, you utterly devastate the girl and break her heart. Some cry, some yell, but it's not a pretty sight and you feel like crap.

So don't yearn for that honeymoon high. If you want to enter a relationship, ask yourself are you willing to do whatever you have to do in it. Which means doing a lot of stuff you don't really feel like doing. The whole thing is so darn overrated, people mainly do it because they have nothing better to do and think another person will make their lives better.

>>620140

>You both must want children and either desire or already have healthy relationships with family.

What if your family isn't Christian?

"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:26

"For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother." - Mark 3:35

>>628623

Make a new one with her tbh.

>get plenty of female attention

>Most girls I get to know more turn out to be weak in faith/terrible in other aspects

>Losing hopes that I find a cute kind wife that is deeply rooted in faith.

>Still thinking about deeply religious ex-girlfriend unironically considering writing her a letter among texting with several other qts.

This just feels sad.

>>628617

>people mainly do it because they have nothing better to do and think another person will make their lives better.

This. Entering a relationship is a responsibility.

I would add that not only you destroy the girl's feelings but your feelings are hammered down for some time too. If you know straight away you would not be willing to marry the girl eventually…why date her? You just lose the time.

>>628504

What do you do about your autism?

Probably a retarded question for some, but what is best to say asking someone out. Like should I just ask hey wana got to coffee some time, or something like that, or could there be a better thing to say to imply that I'm asking more. Would it be better to try to ask her out in a way that's more be my gf or would it be better to just ask on one date and then hope for a second and sort out categories later. I'm inclined to think I'll just get turned down anyways, but if I don't I have no idea what to say and do after that other than just be myself

>>628870

>why date her? You just lose the time.

That's always been my line of thinking. The result was that I never really dated anyone. 3 month relationships are a waste of time.

But still, when it comes to marriage too, it's just too much responsibility and work for me. You have the personal relationship stuff, you have the financial stuff, it's just too overwhelming. I'm in a situation right now where I can write a sentence in my Facebook chat and I'll have a gf but I can't do it, I can't do relationships.

>>628890

I read somewhere when you ask someone out be specific with the timeline. Like, no 'sometime', say how about this Friday. With girls, you have to take the lead, unless they really really like you they won't do diddly squat.

>>629560

Listen soyboy, next time don't just hold one arm out all akwardly while trying to go in for that pussy sidehug. Stretch your arms apart as far as possible, don't mind if you hit anyone. Look at her dead in the eyes and rush her with the force of a train. Before she flys away like a ragdoll, clamp your meaty arms around her body and pull her toward you. Don't let go for 10 seconds and hum in her ear while you hug. That is how you hug like an alpha.

Also make sure to put on some cologne

>>629959

I was amused.

My girlfriend wants us to do sexually deviant activities. How do I tell her I don't feel pleasure from those things without humiliating her or making her feel bad? She's a really good and kind individual, but her sexuality manifest in things I don't feel comfortable with.

>>628485

>no im not good at talking

You've given yourself the answer before you even asked it. Geez dude, you seriously need to chill out. Don't put pressure on yourself to ask her out yet. Just TALK TO HER. That's it. Just a conversation, just say "hi" and "how are you". She knows you, right? You haven't been spying on her from across the pews?

>Freaking exotic faith has to be right and leave me with no wife right after my childhood and before I could have gotten married.

wat

>>628623

Healthy relationships with family doesn't mean they need to be as Christian as you (as is my case). We still must honor our father and mother to the utmost. Perhaps all the more if they're more lukewarm.

>>628891

>cant do relationships

Dude, you need to nut up and adopt the responsibility/accept the new sacrifice in your life. If marriage is your calling, that is. Pray about this, don't choose what you want on a whim.

>>629984

Well first and foremost, you shouldn't be having any sex of any kind at all, anon. In which you simply say, "I am waiting until marriage for religious reasons" or something to that effect.

>>629997

We met before the two of us were religious. We had sexual contact before becoming closer to Christianity, and we have just continued to practice it, it's my problem that she want to do things that are not okay with me, and her approach to it makes me uncomfortable. We are planning on marrying soon enough, but marriage doesn't change that I would want to do those things with her.

>>629996

>adopt the responsibility/accept the new sacrifice in your life

No thanks. I can't give up absolute freedom. When I come home from work tired I can't imagine someone talking to me or wanting me to do stuff. And during weekends I don't want to think about where do I take my girl out next, will it be fun, etc.

Financially, I can support myself, but I can't provide for a family. To land a good job you need connections and I have none. I grew up poor and I know what it's like and I will simply not risk my family living in poverty. The lack of money destroys every relationship sooner or later.

And on top of this, I don't even have the urge. When I think of a relationship I feel anxiety, not happy thoughts.

>>630002

As long as you marry (((all the sex was technically not sinful at all SHHHH)))

You just lose the very high honor of walking her down the aisle and her father properly handing her over to you before you commence ham-boning. Oh well, you still get the "honor" you just kind of did it backwards.

Hmm. Tell her then you cant adhere to her requests because of religious reasons. Explain more than that you know- say it isnt Christian etc. Brush up on Christian sexual doctrine.

>>630003

Maybe it just isnt time then? You don't need to have freedom forever, just the mean time. Thats where Im at, getting things sorted. Sorry if I pressured you, tough love seems to be the default attitude round here.

>>630147

She wants to roleplay as a minor, and I find it uncomfortable, while also telling me things like she shaves to look like a girl or that she wants to give me a daughter offer her to me.

I don't think I have to explain her that those things go against common decency. I know she wouldn't do anything illegal, but I still dislike it.

>>628535

I have a trio of short friends from high school that are between 5'2 and 5'5, and all of them are in committed long-term relationships with beautiful (taller)women. Don't worry anon, turn your head away from what people think and pray to the Lord. He will find you a wife.

>>630638

this t b h

>>630149

I have a lot of problems with 'getting things sorted'. Why should I save money for marriage and a car and bust my ass for a bigger salary? None of these things are expected from a woman, they can just spend their extra earnings on whatever or just earn enough to survive doin part time jobs. But nooo, I have to spend 5 years busting my hump just to qualify to have a chance in hell of finding a semi decent wife. I'm jaded, I admit, the whole process just makes no sense to me and is very hard work for very slim reward.

>>631158

Dude that's literally what the man was meant to do. The breadwinner. And the woman would tend the home and do all that stuff (which they need to receive more credit for, it isn't fun stuff and it's extremely important). Is your issue that women work now too or have you always thought the gig was rotten? Because it's actually a privilege and you might need to get over yourself tbh

I am scared of talking to girls at mass, most that look my age have families of their own, saw a few single mothers (i think) but they could have husbands at home. I don't know what to do.

It isn't very Christian in my town.

>>631400

The gig is rotten in the sense you're literally buying female companionship. There's nothing transcendental, let's say, about the male/female relationship. It's literally 'you want kids? provide me with food and shelter, nothing else matters'. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna work 10 hour work days for the illusion I'm loved. As a man, your only value is how much you benefit others. I simply refuse to play that game.

>Is your issue that women work now too

They can't have it both ways. They get to be single until 28 and just spend all their income while a man is supposed to be frugal and buy a car and a place to live?

>>631472

Move? Go to different Mass? Just don't marry a single mother

>>631472

How old are you?

>most that look my age have families of their own

Date those who don't

>>631400

The problem with women working, as he seems to have stated, is that they are working but less often saving, while men are supposed to be saving for their future family. If I find a qt that is young enough to have not needed to work yet, or who has work to honestly make ends meet, then its fine that they aren't bringing any money with them, but if there's some woman out there making as much as me and having roughly the same necessary expenses as me, but not saving like I am, then I have to question why that is, assuming it's not do to extreme charitable giving or something

I was just chrismated into the Orthodox Church yesterday and so today I went out for ice cream and pizza with my presbyterian girlfriend because its no longer a fast. She asked me about how communion is taken in the Church, so I told her, and she made a disgusted face and told me to visit her 'real' church and see how communion should really be taken. I wasn't interested in arguing with her at the time so I made a quick joke and moved on to other things, but frankly I'm a bit upset by this. I haven't considered what to do or how to tell her that I think she was out of line with that comment, so I'm just posting here.

when are we getting flags back?

>>631715

One thing I should note with this is that I used to be Methodist, and I used to volunteer in a presbyterian church, so I already know how they do it. And she knows this. Perhaps I'm just over thinking and taking her joke wrong, or she just slipped up and forgot those details for a moment. sage for rant.

>>631715

She's just misguided.

Would you hold grudges over a 12 year old had they said that? Of course not, so you shouldn't do it over a woman.

>>631715

we are never getting flags back. the (((mods))) have decided whats good for us and theres no arguing against them

>>631715

You should convert her or dump her. If you believe she is a heretic you shouldnt be with her.

>>631715

Remind her that the orthodox have been around for 1900 years, while her dying denom has only been around 190. Don't put up with that kind of lip, put her in line. See if she was joking and if she isn't, let her know that you don't denigrate how she does things so neither should she.

Unless I've terribly misread the situation I have a date on Friday, my first in three years. I would appreciate any prayer and advice I can get. She's incredibly kind and has always been good at continuing communication, which otherwise would be what I'm most worried about. I'm a little confused what to do if things go well as far as cementing down whether we have gone on a date or are dating, beyond simply trying to find a time for a second date and kicking that talk down the road. If things go bad I might be in a bad place, but I think I've read the situation accurately in thinking she's somewhat excited. Anyone have any types of restaurants they think are the superior first date restaurant type? The way things have been left I'm picking her up at noon and we're going to whatever restaurant I choose

>>632002

If she has kept up contact, its because she already likes you. Stop wondering whether or not she likes you, your overthinking and paranoia WILL be misinterpreted as weakness on your part. Women aren't men, they make the decision to date you within 15 seconds of looking at you. Take her to a coffee place that is fancy and affordable like a locally owned starbucks analog, it will make you seem serious about your intentions of feeling each other out. Double it down by reminding yourself to smile during the date, as long as she's not talking about something sad. This shows that you are in control of the interaction and find what she has to say interesting enough to induce it, regardless if you actually feel nerves or whatever. Telling light jokes, while smiling, will help with both of your nerves. Women love normalfag memes. Tell her towards the end of the date that you want to "take the sub a little deeper" in your future interactions thus recontextualizing the day's date as one with romantic overtones as opposed to "testing the waters". You can do it.

>>632002

>Anyone have any types of restaurants they think are the superior first date restaurant type?

Go someplace that is 100% local, but not the dive that everyone goes to on Saturdays for the football game. Good luck friend, and if you start to worry just pray!

>>631747

This angers me slightly.

>>631737

I hadn't thought of it like that.

>>631974

I would hate to dump her over something like this, but if a patter develops I might have to. I'll try what >>631983 said first and give her a chance . I already told her to stop joking that I'd kill her because I own firearms, I don't think she took that too well though.

>>630002

Same situation as you.

Make her realize that chastity gives plentiful more treasures than sex. That prayer is more rewarding than anything physical. That you can be one flesh once you are bound together by the holy mystery of marriage.

>>628588

>You can come off as proud and boastful, gotta work on humility. But I don't know, I don't want to be mediocre.

For God's standards we all are less than mediocre. Realize your sins, not only the named ones, but all your imperfections, all the times you could have done more; you will find humility very quickly, and you will forgive others their trespasses as you want to be forgiven yours.

>but the path of living right and well is often a path you walk alone if you don't have a good community with you.

It is on you to make your community good then. Loving your neighbor, however flawed he might be, is the supreme commandment, never forget that.

PEACE BE WITH YOU BRETHREN

You guys are the jewels in my crown. I've clearly noticed an evolution taking place among you, and thank the Lord all the more for the strength to encourage you. We're all gonna make it.

>>632057

Seems to me that you are further along than most here. Unless you have complete confidence that you can break that worldly will of hers, I'd wash my hands of her and look for a more devoutly submissive woman. She must be quite the hottie for you to endure such ridicule, so watch yourself that you aren't being lead primarily by lust. Either way, your goal is a stable Christian family, not putting up with the insanity of a narcissist. Best case scenario is that she simply has a terrible sense of humor enabled by friends who pretend to laugh at her terrible jokes. This should be the first thing to investigate as it would save you from the uncomfortable discussions that follows the symptoms of ego. Best of luck.

>>632025

>If she has kept up contact, its because she already likes you.

As far as kept in contact that only kinda is accurate. We've seen each other at Church and a little more than usual because Pascha. On Holy Saturday I got really hype because she stood next to me at coffee hour and laughed and touched my bicep at one point. We also both stayed to help with Pascha arrangements and at a few times made eye contact that felt like something real, hard to explain as an autist. I was invited to sit with her family at the pascha breakfast, which gave me the pinnacle of my hype, but then I did end up getting to sit with them and talk to her parents and brother, but she sat with a group of similarly aged girls. After that I was pretty down but thought I could maybe turn things around at the picnic(different thing than the breakfast, 5+hours in between), but her family ended up leaving way early than me and my friends, and while she was there I only got to talk to her a little. I had been highly considering asking her out that day, so when everything didn't work out I was bummed. I ended up texting her to see if we could talk that night, but it was already late and she couldn't talk that night so we rescheduled for Friday now. I don't completely know what to do, but there are so many things that make way more sense if she does like me than if she doesn't, I think I can just make that assumption. I'm more confused with how to proceed from here, the last time I dated was as a Prot highschooler. I like her and want her to be my girlfriend and it seems she likes me, but people are suggesting that I basically do almost nothing as I go out to eat or something two or three time before I actually ask her to date me, which I'm not sure exactly how I'll ask

Hey team, been lurking here awhile. I've found the information listed to be quite helpful in a general sense. I enjoy the community here and I think in the most spirtual sense is the embodiment of the "the body" of Christ.

I'm travelling to my old college town about 5 hours away on Thursday to get the stuff I left behind and see E. I met her at a church I attended there for about a year. I was a older grad student and she in undergrad, although I'm about 10 years older than her. We used to see eachother quite regularly for lunches and coffees but I had a reccurance of an anxiety disorder and stopped seeing her, we met up again a year later, and then began correspondence online for a long time, sharing some intimacy over the medium. I had planned to see her 5 months ago but the anxiety prevented it. I've got things a bit more under control now thanks to /fit/. We exchanged messages now and then, I've arranged to meet up with her on Friday for an afternoon together. While we are certianly friends, I don't know if she is aware that I have developed feelings for her; part of me thinks that she must know. Im not sure how to really broach the subject. I'm not concerned about the age difference as she told me that her grandmother had a similar arrangement and she would be fine with it (not in a context relating to the two of us together this was told; we had been discussing dating other people at the time). I know I want to spend time with her to understand if these feelings are genuine and sincere on my part, because it could just be another infactuation on my part. AFIAK she is single right now. She is a committed christian, yet is with her own personal mental baggage (much like myself). She had to drop out of school and go on meds for awhile for mental health problems. She seems to be doing quite well at the moment. We're both committed Christians, and I feel like theres a possibility for the two of us to have a fulfilling Christian life together. I'm aware of the agency that God gives us in chosing a spouce, and there are no "soul mates".

I suppose a lot more context might help with the solicitation of advice. But I'd like to know what my brothers here would offer? I request your prayers on this matter.

>>632204

>only kinda

>really hype

See that's the type of thing I'm talking about in regards to overthinking and being driven by emotion. Your desire for a Christian relationship with her should supersede any fear you may have in regards to "doing it wrong". Just shut up, show up, and adapt to what happens. If you give her any reason as to doubt her giving you a chance, you will blow it with this pussy pedestal crap and you'll be back to square one. Stop being a coward.

>>632226

See Above

>>632025

>Take her to a coffee place that is fancy and affordable like a locally owned starbucks analog

I had been thinking about this and kinda regretting that I had already planned for lunch at noon, but this morning I got a text rescheduling for just a little later and coffee, so I'm feeling pretty comfy now. Picking a restaurant was feeling a little more complicated, but with coffee I think I already know where I'll go.

>>632332

>See that's the type of thing I'm talking about in regards to overthinking and being driven by emotion.

I think it's more accurate to just say that I miscommunicated here. When I read kept in contact I kinda assume mediated contact like texts or calling or something. My further description explains how actually I have been in contact in person, which is far better anyways.

>See that's the type of thing I'm talking about in regards to overthinking and being driven by emotion.

I would be curious to know how I'm driven by emotion. I've wanted to ask her out many times and have had other times that felt nearly as promising as this, yet all the other times I backed out after over-analyzing the situation and doubting myself. I guess the doubting could be characterized as emotion, but if that's the cases I don't think I can identify anyone's reaction to anything that can't be characterized as an emotional reaction by over examining it

>Your desire for a Christian relationship with her should supersede any fear you may have in regards to "doing it wrong".

It does, hence me trying to start this off with no idea exactly how I'll continue. I'm just tired of this circle jerk on here and irl that relationship statuses and mutual understandings of each others feelings don't matter when I've seen time and time again how not defining relationships and communicating intentions destroy relationships that could potentially have worked out.

>Just shut up, show up, and adapt to what happens

Basically the plan

>pussy pedestal crap

She's not a roastie so I will not be treating her like a roastie

>>632398

>I would be curious to know how I'm driven by emotion.

You're being so overeager in your desire for this woman, who you even admit to be pedestalizing, that you already trying to rationalize away your potential for relationship. You do this when you make half hearted statements ex post facto like "I kinda assumed" or regretting anything in general. These are natural responses to the stressful stimuli of courtship. The anxiety that is the emotion at play. You're trying to come up with reasons as to why you shouldn't waste your time, all in an attempt to justify your weaknesses and quit pursuing this girl to avoid the hurt feelings that come with rejection. What you're not aware of is that it creates a feedback loop when you start to believe those rationalizations.

There is no "the one", there is "the one" type of girl that just gets your noggin joggin. Women hate "nice guy" chivalry on the first dates, its only appreciated when the courtship is official. Stop letting the nerves get to you, as I can smell your cowardice through your passive aggression and over explaining. I would also tell you to stop doing this crap when you communicate with her, be as concise as possible to prevent her from using the little she's seeing from talking herself out of being with you. But you should also learn to communicate in a way more becoming the man you wish to be.

>>632435

Are you trying to convince me or yourself

>>632025

Not Orthofriend but perhaps you can give me a tip on this one girl Im chatting with on CatholicMatch. Couple questions, first: how soon before I suggest we meet up and do something? Its been about 3 or 4 exchanges, started talking in late Feb a lil bit, she went dark for a couple weeks, I sent a non-needy but persistent message, she responded 10 days later and weve been back at it since late March and have had 3 or 4 exchanges since we reconnected. She seems to be a little busy (obviously we all are but you know how life can get, might be a little busier than normal with something going on in her life) so I was going to do it on the next message.

>>632441

What do I gain from trying to convince you to see through the very things that hold you back? I already have a woman I love dearly. I had a feeling you would get your feelings hurt, but for your sake I think you need to do some self reflection because if that's the way you conduct yourself in general then I will start to feel bad for this girl, millenial. Allow me and men like me to be the iron which sharpens your overall dullness.

>>632451

Since she's so busy, just start making plans now for a day she will have free in the future. That way you two can still small talk and it makes her confident that its going somewhere. Like I told baby boy above, women make the determination whether or not they wish to date you within the first minute of meeting you, online or otherwise. So if we give her the benefit of the doubt that she is indeed busy, the fact that she started talking to you again at all means that she's ready for you to take the reigns. Make the date first, then ask for her number closer to the day in order to facilitate meeting up for the face-to-face. If anything, after you set the date with her, she may end up offering her number because whatever she has going on must be keeping her from the computer to reply as much as she wants to. You can do it, I'll be praying for the both of you.

>>621694

i had brunch after mass with her mom inviting me with her daughters (including the girl i mentioned)

now i feel very motivated to attempt to "ask her out" but i feel lost. shes like 3+ years younger than me, around 18, trad parents. how do i initiate courting? her parents like me btw

>>632477

Maybe ask them first?

If they're that trad then they might appreciate being asked first before you ask her, especially the father.

>>632461

Different ID because I'm back on my computer and not my (((phone))) but I appreciate the advice. It has been 6 days since I messaged her and CM shows you if they viewed your message (she did, the day of). In my last response I asked her a couple more small questions about her message but it seems like either a) she's busy (she's done that before where she's viewed it and then responded later) or b) she's waiting for me to take the reigns as you said. It's only been a few messages though, surely it can't be too late? Either way, I am going to give it a full week or 2 (keeping in mind she responded after 10 days the first time- like you said to the other guy I'm going to try and not overthink it) and then if she still hasn't responded, I'm going to shoot her another message in the vein of my last reconnect one (not mentioning anything said before, making it look like no one is at fault) saying we should meet up. I've been trying to not let this go to my head to (mostly) successful results because she's "the reason" I joined the stupid site in the first place. Thanks for the prayers and back at you brother.

>>632553

I just had an idea. Never mind the waiting (isn't that what a woman would do?), I have half a mind to just send another message saying something along the lines of "Actually, this messaging is fun and all but how about we meet up?" Should I just go for it or give her a little time to respond? I have a hunch she hasn't responded because she's waiting for me to do as you said- take the reigns- and is getting tired of me just building rapport.

>>632559

I hope in the delay to a response, you would have mustered the courage to do just that. I'm happy you're asking to consensus, but mastering the self is its own reward. You are correct in your assumption, keep her attention by putting yourself as the carrot at the end of the stick. Godspeed!

>>632477

I agree with >>632483, the parents will be on your side if you show them enough respect to introduce yourself properly. Just make sure you give her attention while you do so, or else it will come off as manipulating.

>>632461

neck yourself

>>629560

>>632613

>Godspeed!

Thank you brother for your affirmation and amen to all you said. I appreciate the advice, truly! I just have a feeling about this one, man. Godspeed to you and your endeavors as well.

>>632676

Hey. Enough. That is NOT how to talk to one who has so much dignity, Christ has died for him. Delete the post, this is a Christian community, ramshackle as it is.

>>632553

Dude, been there, done that. They're not 'busy', trust me. Being busy for 6 days? Come on now. If she takes that long to respond, she's got you on a back backburner. Just drop it, you'll drive yourself nuts. When a girl likes you she makes it apparent, when you need to force the conversation then it's not the real deal. Girls generally respond quickly if they like you, unless they have some smartass friend who urges her to play mind games and not respond for days.

>>629959

I literally spread out as wide as possible

>>632712

Nah, I've been in that particular situation too but you'd be surprised what can happen if you have confident (not needy) persistence.

>>632731

Wasting time on girls that keep you on the back of the list is just pointless. Sure, she may cave after some time after her first picks didn't work out. It's just demeaning when you send a message, she doesn't respond for 10 days so you send another one acting like she didn't ignore you.

>>632736

Well when I first reconnected, she responded. The distance also might be a factor. I have nothing to lose by suggesting we meet up, and persistence has paid off for me before. I also maybe had 1 or 2 extra needless details in my messages which is a factor. Further, my sister had her current boyfriend on the back burner, but his persistence proved successful, as she is now pretty head over heels about him. The point is, yes, she could (and most likely) have me on the back burner, but there are other possibilities. Besides, I have this other gal if this doesn't work out. Responding again isn't really a big deal if you have a plan. Like the other guy said, be the carrot on the stick. Emotional/mental state has a lot to do with asking women out too. You want to lead them in a way that is comfortable: so if you propose to go on a walk, it's this simple, fun-sounding thing with low risk. So their emotion in the moment would make them much more likely to say yes. Obviously you can't get too autistic with this but it's there.

>>632435

>be as concise as possible

This is also my problem. Even when coming from a place of confidence, I tend to be overly thorough in my responses, which has certainly contributed to many a ghosting. Even when I try to cut things down. It is also most likely a factor in the current girl's delayed responses, in fact I'm almost certain (in addition to her apparent lifestyle if we're giving her the benefit of the doubt).

I have a nit-picky technical question for everyone, but especially the OP and the couple of guys in the thread who seem to really know what's up: I'm >>632559 (You) and sent the message. I asked her to meet up and walk around/explore this city in-between us (closer to her). What is the Christian/Catholic view of this? Is it recommended to stick to food dates (coffee/cafe/lunch/dinner)? Grabbing a bite is kind of implied but I didn't want the message to be clunky so I just said the walk. Obviously we'll get food too. I tend to like "let's walk" dates because they get better reception and are lighter. Plus we can easily lead into getting lunch/whatever, the point is I'm getting her out.

>>632751

Oh so her boyfriend is happy for being the 5th choice and waiting it out? And she's now head over heels for a guy who she considered the 5th choice?

If a girl likes you, she messages you. If you're fine being the fourth violin, by all means.

>>632676

>Oh no, constuctive criticism ON THE INTERNET, better ad hominem to deflect from my hurt feelings on an anonymous imageboard.

There's nothing I get more joy from than "insulting" people with the truth, especially when they are the ones who first reveal themselves to be terrible people to begin with. You have a long way to go before you can even think about a family.

>>632704

You're gonna make it brah

>>632712

A valid point, but let's not jump to conclusions. We all have to give this anon's potential girl the benefit of the doubt. He'll try to set a date, and if you are right that will come out. Either through her making excuses to not meet or when they do meet, she's not going to look as interested as she did via text. I am of the opinion that for this woman to maintain contact, the interest is there. I can't wait to see how this situation develops!

>>632739

>Your second slash is in the wrong place

How is this thread 4 and you're the first one to notice. That's hilarious, I'm sure OP will be corrected by your keen eye. Online dating is a thing that won't go away in our autistic age of information.

>>632768

>be as concise as possible

>proceeds to textwall

Its great that you are aware of your tendency for motormouth (or type in this case) but your next challenge will be to actively review the content you wish to share and consciously pare it down to its necessities.

>Date planning

1. Find a cute locally owned coffee shop to do the initial face to face and light lunch if appetite is present.

2. Find cheap, local activities to facilitate further discussion. Mall, park (depending on weather), museum, etc.

3. Find an eatery close to step 2 in case you two really hit it off and work up an appetite.

4. Plan steps 1-3 to feel as organic as possible by only mentioning step 1 and 2, and doing the necessary recon to make the transitions smooth (having enough money for activities, making sure selected places are open for business for the date set, dressing sharply for the weather, travel time between 1-3, travel time to the city in question, etc etc)

YOU CAN DO IT

>>632818

>solipsism

>the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.

Which is bad because that borders on (((Levayian satanism))). Where only you matter and everything else is just a byproduct of your imagination. Which implies God isn't real.

>>632828

Don't worry, I was just constructively suggesting you neck yourself

>>632483

>>632613

They know me already somewhat. I was thinking about asking them for permission to date/court their daughter but Idk whether to do it before or after asking her out.

>>631458

>all those women look like crypt creatures except maybe 1 or 2

>nigel farage looks completely the same

>>632795

Lol thats not how love always works. And as the other guy said, don't jump to conclusions. Sorry you got burned so much but people actually live lives. I would respond a week later to women I was genuinely interested in sometimes because I'm not thinking about messaging some broad every minute of my life.

>>632923

>but people actually live lives

What, you're so busy you have absolutely no time in the evening to message a girl you supposedly like? Don't give me that crap. And if you take a week to respond to a girl you like, then don't complain when she does the same to you. Because when someone takes that long, the other side starts thinking it's playing games and they start the same crap.

what should the approach for younger women (16ish)? dating with women my age or older is easy, i'm just not sure how to work with younger girls.

>>632927

Yeah I was being kind of smart with you haha. I didn't do it to her, no. And women could easily take a week to reply to messaging online, as I feel like they're not even 1/10 online as often as men, especially the sort who would congregate here. And in the past it took me a week because I would literally have my life lead into one thing directly into another (work then maybe friends, then home) and by the time I'd get home I would be tired and just didn't want to deal with messaging anyone. It's perfectly, completely reasonable. Further, persistence is key. It is quite needy to reply in anger to a woman who had a delayed response. The best route is to not even bring it up in the reconnecting message. "Hey ___, we haven't talked in a while so I figured I'd drop you a line. Hope life's treating you excellent. Let me know what's new with you!" Literally got me a reply, and a slightly flirty one too "Hey stranger. Just blablabla". You have to word it in a way that lets you know you're on her side and you know life happens (because it does). That's just something you have to get over if you want to widen your chances with women. It's pretty petty and uptight to be upset about something so trivial.

>>633040

How old are you?

>>633172

just turned 21

>>633293

>>633040

If younger than 18, I recommend starting any attempt at courtship with asking their parents first. If the man of the house is a learned man of God and sees you to be of good moral character, I think he will have no reason to deny you. A dowry would help :^) this is a joke you pearl clutchers

>>627742

Don't convert

>>633171

>You have to word it in a way that lets you know you're on her side and you know life happens (because it does)

There's 0, none, zilch reason for a person who has a regular 8 hour a day job not to respond at least after 8 in the evening or over the weekend. No one works 16 hour shifts 7 days a week either.

The only 2 possibilities for taking long to respond are:

1. the lack of interest because the guy is fourth in line

2. girls playing childish games and wanting to appear hard to get

The vast majority of those 'delayed response' situations go nowhere and you know it.

>>633040

Please don't unless it is allowed by law. You really don't want to get a statutory rape charge

>>620140

I was talking to a girl last week at a meetup, I only see her once a week (first time she came), did I screw up by not asking her out then? I plan to this week if I see her again.

>>633773

where i live, 16 with parents permission is legal

>>633770

Yes yes, this is true. And thats the default thing to think it is but it shouldnt stop you from lobbing a final message in there because why not. Theres this other qt azn Catholic I got in touch with through a friend's friend's friend though so thats the latest. We actually have a plan. Were all gonna make it.

>>633835

Naw just do it next time bro dont even worry. Youll see her again. And having that confidence youll see her again is important.

>>633835

I should mention and maybe someone can affirm this. Dont just ask her the second you see her. Talk again and build a connection and ask her with confidence at some point (ideally the high point) of the conversation. You don't need to be too autistic about it. Just think of when you ask a new guy friend to chill when you first meet him, its the most natural thing in the world

>>631158

>But nooo, I have to spend 5 years busting my hump just to qualify to have a chance in hell of finding a semi decent wife.

Is it really a decent wife if you have to do all that shit?

I think you simply have a jaded attitude.

>>633948

Yeah, that anon is a salty winnie the pooh. Just let the poor man vent, we've all been there and he'll calm down once he's gotten it out of his system.

>>633770

I'll be praying for you mate, you are where I was 3 years ago. Pray and use this time to better yourself, The Lord hears your anguish but he wants you to know that it is in this season that you should focus on His teachings and yourself. Just as He feeds the birds of the sky, so will He provide you with a good wife once you are ready. We don't mind you lashing out, but please don't try to dissuade those who are behind and in front of you in their walk with Christ.

>>633877

Well we do a sports activity so I suppose after we're finished is probably a good time.

>>634049

>winnie

what is this?

>>634151

PERFECT. There you go, sounds great.

>>634049

I'm not dissuading anyone, I'm just saying how things are. I know exactly what guys are going through waiting for a girl to respond for 10 days, it's pointless torture.

>so will He provide you with a good wife once you are ready

Funny you should mention it because I finally decided to enter a relationship with a girl I really like. And to be honest, she fell on my lap and I do consider her a gift from God. Due to circumstances, we can't see each other for a month, but it's a small price to pay. She's 8 years younger than me, smart, funny, beautiful, I am truly blessed.

>>634260

>fell into my lap

This is the case for me as well. I am going to meet her in person at her Uni next Saturday. My friend's friend's friend got me in touch, all of us Catholic. She's Asian and 4 years younger (20).

>>634283

You know the thing is, every time I fell for a girl I felt desperate to get her because I thought I would never meet such a 'perfect' girl again. And every time it didn't work out I felt like I missed my last chance. And now after 10 years, I see I've been consistently proven wrong. I did continue to meet good girls and the current one seems to be the pinnacle of all those 10 years of hardships, getting crushed and rejected.

And this is the main reason why I warned people here about obsessing about girls that obviously don't care that much for them. I used to do that. I used to wait for replies for 10 days, hoping she likes me. If a girl likes you, she likes talking to you and doesn't want to wait for 10 days to talk to you.

And with the current girl, she basically did all the work and was quite, if not uncomfortably, direct about how much she would like to be with me.

>>634302

I agree and feel you exactly but we also are the master of our mind so we shouldnt obsess too much over a simple message. I know its tough though. Glad to hear this one seems to be working bro, will pray for you.

Who else single but wants to have at least 10 kids?

>>634333

Thank you my friend, I certainly need prayers.

>>634260

>>634302

I thank the Lord all the more for the blessing He has given you. I have no problems with your candor in general, its just that you keep going after you've made your point. I will pray for your success!

>>634349

We all do mate, we all do.

>>634473

>concern trolling

This is gen Z you winnie, the triumph of neOrthodoxy. If the dad allows it, who are you to judge?

>>634489

You keep saying winnie, what do you mean? I tried google, but I just keep getting winnie the pooh in urban dictionary…Would appreciate an answer.

>>634498

The f word has a word filter now, example:

f u c k (spaces)

winnie the pooh (no spaces)

>>634506

And if you try to find an alternative you get temp banned >>632854

>>634513

That was for suicide, you can easily be rude/harsh without using cuss words. Neither of which are encouraged by the bible. If someone is being a rude faggot or baiting you don't have to engage.

>>634518

Mods have literally said that to people. We're on a Swedish paperfolding board, post aren't exactly the most serious things out there

>>634526

I don't think it's because it's offensive, you can call someone a faggot without problem, it's more that it's not christian to promote suicide, because it's a direct ticket to hell.

>>634473

thanks

Hey mods, what the heck is this BS?

>>629351

>>615358

Can you please do something about this? These threads are obviously being made in bad faith if this general has existed for 2 months now. Pls investigate.

>>635668

>save sex for marriage

Aye aye.

>get married ASAP

Double aye aye.

>>635668

you repent and God will surely have a plan for you if that be a qt wife or monastic life

>>635668

> I've converted and changed my ways but I still always feel like I'm tainted

St. Mary of Egypt is an example for you. If you have done all that is required to join the church and have asked forgiveness from God for your sins during confession then everything that happened before shouldn't disturb you any longer.

>>635697

>qt wife

I think I'm just too tainted at this point. Any decent woman wouldn't want anything to do with me and I wouldn't blame her.

>monastic life

I don't think joining a monastery is an option either. I just don't hear the calling.

I've always wanted a nice wife and kids even when I was young.

>>635703

I'll go to confession as soon as I can.

>>635725

>tainted

Dude trust me, women really don't care about that. They'll also be impressed if anything, wrong as it is. So don't let that hold you back, even the best of men is not deserving of his wife.

>>635756

..Minus the prostitute obviously but not the other stuff.

>>635668

>>635725

I agree with >>635756, I myself was quite wayward in my youth, though I have since repented and aligned myself with the Lord. Believe it or not, my virginal fiancee really likes how confident I am in handling her in every sense of the word, so much so that it makes me more comfortable waiting until marriage because I don't feel like I have anything to "prove" to her. Just don't brag or spill all the details to any potential suitors, give them confidence that its a closed chapter in your life. I will tell you that I do feel shame from time to time, but said shame only inspires me closer to Christ in order to be a better man for her. You can do it my friend, Jesus liberated you from any sin that you feel would keep you from His bounty.

>>635789

Please don't brag with your sexual prowess here…

>>636699

Hes fine but

>>635789

>in every sense of the word

REEEEE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH HER INAPPROPRIATELY YET REEEE just hug

Ya'll need game. And do have sex before marriage. The rule only applies to women.

>>636781

Be gone Satan.

>>636781

and you need Jesus

>>636781

Theres nothing wrong with familiarizing yourself with the basics of "game" to take the good (learn what women do and how they respond, not what they say) and leave the bad (literally the other thing in your post) but that is straight up Satan talking. Sex is not meant to be a freaking hobby you "get good" at, its supposed to be something you grow together with and alongside ONE woman (your wife) and to produce children. Disregard all women (and men giving advice like this) saying otherwise.

>>636781

>PUA

These people aren't here to get laid, they're here to start families. One day you'll realize this and return for the wisdom here.

>>636699

>>636728

>Bragging about prowess

>REEEEE

Perverts, the both of you. She likes the fact that I can pick her up without squatting, the fact that I see through her feminine wiles, and take general initiative, amongst other things. Continue your path of self actualization through Christ and you too can earn such praise. I honestly look forward to more success stories. Anyways, hugging is for babbies, we regularly HOLD HANDS all the time and there's nothing you can do about it.

>>636794

>>636795

Could you explain why >>636781 is wrong besides that it's in the bible?

>>637218

This is why it's important to find someone who you can influence. It also shows you clearly if shes heading into leftist whoredom or not.

>>637224

>Could you explain why >>636781 is wrong besides that it's in the bible?

Are you a 14-year old? What kind of a question is that? It's pretty clear you don't hold the Bible to a very high standard, and you don't really care about God nor His Ways. You think you're better than God, is what you're saying with that type of attitude. So why don't you take a humble-pill and accept Christ's Ways or leave this board altogether.

>>637298

I've always appreciated that fornication is equated with adultery. The Lord knows there will be men/women who dare to think that a sin in marriage may not be a sin outside of marriage.

It really elevates the status and sanctity of your spouse.

Help me out here lads, fell for a girl hard last year, literally everything I want out of a woman and she helped me massively with converting, but after a few months of trying to make things work she ended up falling for another guy and now they're together. It's been 2 months since but I still can't get over her, how do I manage this?

>>637400

You should pray. God might have other plans for you. Did she know you liked her? Did you tell her? What did she say?

>>637401

Deep down I'm sure whatever God's plan for me is for the best but it's difficult to remember that sometimes. Yeah she knew how I felt and said she wanted things to work out herself and felt terrible about what happened. How would you recommend praying about it, I'm unsure how to approach it.

>>637412

This is tough because I'm new to this myself. I'm still trying to trust in God too. Also heartache is especially hard, and advice from others isn't always what you want to hear. God is best for this. But I can tell you in general how I pray.

I usually begin my prayers by thanking God, and if I can't think of something to be thankful for then I pray for something to be thankful for. Several times great things happened to me that made me thankful.

>>637400

Move on. I was in a similar situation. Waited things out, she rejected me nevertheless. Just move on, many times I thought a girl was perfect and I have to get her or I'll never meet a perfect girl again, but I have been proven wrong many times. You'll meet another nice girls, don't waste time on this one because while you're obsessing about her, some other nice girl can go under your radar.

>>637414

Appreciate the advice, thanks

>>637434

I'm trying to move on, I'm just not sure how to go about doing it

>>637442

There's no tactics to do it. You just have to duke it out. But the most important thing is that you don't follow her Facebook or look at her pictures and fantasize about her. It would be best to just completely remove her from your life. You know that saying, away from the eyes, away from the heart.

>>637216

That is wonderful news, you troll! I am proud and glad. God bless both of you, I am happy because you are!

>>637699

It's funny how you cut off the part where the point is being made

>>or else we may as well believe in anything that we're told like Mormonism or Islam (despite having parts that debunk it).

>>637701

No offense taken. Drinking in moderation is fine (avoid drunkenness but you can loosen up a little) but drugs are off-limits. You should pray a lot. You need to stop being an alcoholic and addicted to cocaine though. I don't think any girl, virgin or otherwise, would appreciate it much. If you are Christian, the girl should not mind. But repent (change your mind and try to live as God wants) and do not fornicate anymore (pre-marital sex). Christian women do not wear hijabs but the serious ones wear "chapel veils". Google this if you want, it's beautiful. If you live in the middle east, you can definitely find Christian women who basically dress similar to Muslim women (very covered).

>>637701

Get out of here with that cheap bait.

>>637703

>still misses the point

>>637870

Why aren't you a Muslim?

What do you guys think about texting a girl mid week? There's a girl I like and have gotten along with well, but we never get to talk much because any conversation at Church becomes a group conversation. I'd like to take her to coffee and I think she would agree to it, but I'm not sure if I should text her or wait till next weekend and hope I actually get around to it at Church. I've wanted to ask her out for some time now, but at Church I'm always very worried about my actions and who could see what or interrupt when and things like that. I'm also kinda worried coffee won't be explicitly a date, so I'll have to deal with that as I go. If I did text her I'm not sure what I would say beyond a simple hey are you free for coffee some time this week?

>>638388

I think in person would leave a better impression. Definitely not an expert when it comes to dating, though.

>>638406

Just be yourself, attract girls with your personality. Be relaxed around them and tease them, joke around, don't think too much. Honestly, I've almost never gone out actively looking for a gf, they always fell in my lap out of nowhere and normal banter attracts them to me.

is it normal to be deeply contemptuous of everything, every ethnicity, sex, race, age group, country and very critical of it? not even edgelord shit i just realized i do this and everyone accuse me of everything im not online because i fight against literally everyone. am i redpilled or just demonic? help

the only thing i dont fight are christians

>>638388

Ask her the next time you see her. She already knows you like her, girls can just sense that sbout boys. Also don't take her to coffee, take her to something fun and unique, like mini-golf

>>638406

It sounds like you just need to get out and talk to girls more.

>>638416

There is a difference between knowing general paterns of behavior is certain groups and straight up disliking others because it. You don't hate a rat because it is a rat, you have to learn to deal with it.

>>638388

Here's a rhetorical question: How do you know when you're hungry? Do you have a sudden pang of pain out of nowhere, or is it a feeling that builds, yearning to be satisfied? How you are supposed to make plans for a weekend if you spring it upon her the very same day you wish to see her?

>If I did text her I'm not sure what I would say beyond a simple hey are you free for coffee some time this week?

Yes, literally send a salutation, between today and Wednesday, then ask her exactly that. State the reason why you wish to do so:

> I've wanted to ask her out for some time now, but at Church I'm always very worried about my actions and who could see what or interrupt when and things like that.

Women want initiative, stop giving her the ammo to shoot you with. I'll be praying for you.

>>638406

>I think I'm the best

>my self esteem sucks

>I've the tism

>Wah

>Passing the buck to da debil

No my friend, your lingering feelings of self hatred are what's convinced you that you aren't worthy enough. You've stated your faults, good. But what's the point if you refuse to do anything about them? You're either not as close to theosis as you're leading yourself to believe, or you're masking your cowardice through inability like that other guy 50 posts ago. Learn to fix whatever you think is holding you back, to allow you the freedom to try, regardless of outcome. If you don't love yourself to fight for someone you love, what makes you think a woman will? You're on the list too my friend.

Can the next thread not have a skimpy whore as an opening pic?

>>638399

I guess I'll wait till this weekend then

>>638422

Honestly I'll probably go with the coffee as we had that planed once before that didn't work out.

Minigolf is a while away, but we have ice-skating which I've considered, but I don't know where she stands on that, and if she sucks I would want to be comfortable holding hands for that

>>638442

For the first date, coffee is fine, don't overthink it man.

How can I (politely) find out if a girl is virgin? I don't think asking such personal matters straight away is going to leave good impression… This is really important for me. I'm only interested in dating christian girls, but well, people sin all the time.

>>631458

I'm going to be that person and say it's a certain ethnicity that looks particularly horrible without makeup. I'm also going to say it's genetics and personal beauty mainly related to bone structure, coloring on face (paler women don't tend to have shading on their face that gives natural contour and shading on the face that makes it more "dimensional" the same effect makeup has), and fullness of hair, eyebrows, and lashes.

This one only offends women who look awful without makeup. It's not all of them, but it's probably most of the women you're attracted to which is normal because people are attracted to their ethnicity.

>>638599

Handholding isn't degenerate necessarily, but is a grey area which can become degenerate. To be safe a side hug in which you don't touch her breasts is the best option

>>638470

>how to tell if virgin?

>its hard tho

Ain't them the breaks. Yeah, definitely do not ask outright. I haven't worried about it too much, there's some obvious cases and the more you get to know someone you'll be able to pick up on subtle things that indicate one way or another (through speech, attitude, etc)

>>638614

>no handholding or hugging

Yeah good luck attracting girls, even wholesome ones, with that mindset. Just don't linger too long on a hug. Have control over yourself, master yourself. Maybe I'm autistic but I'm pretty dope at cutting contact off where it needs to. Adopt a "buck stops here" attitude. I was dancing with a girl at a (((party))) once and she turned to do the grind crap and I took her by the shoulders and turned her around lol. She didn't like that but she isnt the mother of my children so it's all good. Just be assertive and uncompromising.

>>638438

I'm sorry if a little bit of booty is tempting for you, I hope everyone likes the next one.

>>638470

Demeanor tells all, real virgins really do act like socially inept moe-blobs who place importance on even the smallest of gestures. Don't ask them, because they will immediately ask you and will make your date much shorter than you'll like.

>>638599

>handholding is degenerate

This is an /a/ meme that we repurpose for the sake of chastity. Publicly, it respects the both of you if you limit things to hands, arm around neck/waist, and with time frontal hugging, kissing on cheeks or lips if you're both comfortable with that. Privately, I would say 2nd base, but if you keep things on first base you won't be tempted to steal 3rd or heaven forbid, home. Believe it or not, with enough time, the woman will WANT to be touched as badly as you want to touch them. Like >>638707 says, be assertive in setting up those boundaries, because girls have their ways.

For example, I LOVE kissing my girl on the cheek, as she has really nice cheek bones and soft skin. What I noticed over time is that she will, on purpose, move her head to position my lips over to where her ear is, which is erogenous for most women. I have since realized this and track her face to keep kissing her on the cheeks when she tries to move her head. In fact, she takes to giggling when I continue to kiss her cheek as she realizes she's been exposed for wanting to take things further.

NEXT THREAD COMING UP

>>638706

>Ain't them the breaks. Yeah, definitely do not ask outright.

Not the guy you were talking to, but isn't it just best to be honest about how important it is that she's a virgin? I mean, I'm trying to find a lovely, virginal Christian girl, and it would just be a waste of both of our time if the girl turns out to be unpure. So, if I ask and the girl isn't a virgin, I don't really care very much if she takes offense and doesn't want to see me anymore. And if she's a virgin, I don't see how the question would cause much trouble in the relationship. You think the girl wouldn't be honest if asked? I find it pretty easy to spot when people are lying as most are terrible at it.

>subtle things that indicate one way or another (through speech, attitude, etc)

Risky business. Significant chance of being wrong. I'd rather just ask the awkward question.

>>638795

Hand-holding is amazing. It can be such a sweet, intimate thing. Unfortunately, it often gives me boners.