/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>612483

I would take this as a sign from God that you need to focus on other things in your own life, especially your walk with Jesus Christ. As a young man, there are many things you need to sort out, your education, your career, your finances, your spirituality, etc.

I recommend you read the Bible cover-to-cover. Just because you lost your virginity to some loose woman doesn't make one an expert in relationship/sex. The Bible has plenty of Wisdom regarding this subject matter and many others, I suggest you depend on the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom in all things. Hope this helps.

>>612483

you shouldn't even care, just don't be insecure about it and don't brag about it, just stop thinking about it

>>612483

>But, being college aged, the meme hat virgins are subhumans to college women appears to be very true.

Mate, this is one of the biggest fallacies in the (((The Current Year +3))). It is not the fact that you're a virgin - even some heathens would tell you so -, it is the fact that you're hung up about it and are desperate with every fiber of your body and mind to get close to a woman, and everyone around you will notice your internalized insecurities. One way to take it on is to be content that you made it this far without losing your virginity in the first place, and if you managed that then learn to empathize that those heathens define their self-worth and place in the world through purely morally degenerate and animalistic acts, and the fact that they did not accept Christ in their lives. Even though I'm not a virgin, unfortunately, I was still very hung up about not having a gal to mate with during my college meme time. Now, that I have slowly accepted Christ into my life, my perception turned to 180 degrees on that matter and even abstain porn, masturbation, lewd thoughts and glances. In result, I have become less desperate, more easygoing and more empathetic towards my fellow people, males and females alike. A good dose of Vitamin K from Sanderson on fornication is a good motivator as well and helped me a lot.

If they want to hate virgins, let them.

I have atheist and agnostic friends that still feel unsure about sex before marriage, because they see no reason to hold back. I told them if they're not going to wait, the pair of you should at least be able to say "I love you" to each other and mean it. Why would you if you don't love them?

I realise this may leave wiggle room ("I thought I loved them," "we both said it," etc etc), but if someone wants to squirm out of a moral duty, they will find a way or make one by force.

I lost mine 5 years ago and I still feel horrible, one of the many sins I cannot forgive myself for and that I am almost unable to believe that God washed away from me.

Easy to understand why the modern world tries to make it look “foolish”

>>612513

I don’t particularly mind since I’d rather have a meaningful relationship over simply getting laid for the sake of it, and I have female friends. I don’t really bother with dating and don’t socialize often: Certainly not to the point of seeking desperate. However, sex is so commonly a thing that’s assumed to be done by my age that it comes up in casual conversation frequently among peers, and any silence on the matter is rooted out and met with ridicule more often than not.

Your point might be valid generally speaking, but you’ve gotten me wrong thinking I’m the same character you constructed in that post.

i was a virgin until i was 20. i will be 29 in june and i should have never have sex. i was weak and alone. i lost my way. i loved all of the girls i was with but they never ==loved== me. maybe god and jesus forgives me but i dont forgive myself. my grandma was right about all of them.

Detach thyself. Detachment from world is the only possible way.

>>612538

detachment is what creates fucked up people like me.

>>612542

Detachment from the world doesn't mean detachment from the spirit. If you were detached from the spirit and the world, that would explain how you got messed up. Monks seem healthy and fine.

>>612544

but how can people detach themselves from the world? it's called reality for a reason. maybe it is easy for brainlets, buts its not easy for people like me. Jesus is all I have left and the only peace I can fathom.

also i am aware my post might sound stupid, but it doesn't to me. and no, not babbes first extensional crisis.

>>612542

We talk about different things I see

>>612523

Then flat out tell them that you don't want to speak about sex. Now, when a friend talks about his sexual experiences I tell them that I do not want to talk about it unless they want to be reprimanded by me. Don't be ashamed of your biblical values; take the moral highground but stay humble.

>>612560

Oh, don't get me wrong: I am indeed a loser, and my sexual activity (or lack thereof) is just as much a result of my upbringing as it is never learning how to "spit game" from my father or in general. I don't try to have casual sex, but I'd definitely fail if I did.

I can't really claim to be taking a moral high ground; if anything, I both don't have the option to have sex and happen not to mind so much.

>>612563

>I am indeed a loser

Different ID but I assume you are OP. What is wrong with you? Why do you think of yourself so lowly? You are only a loser if you give up and give into your very insecurities you have amounted in your lifetime. If you don't have the power to change and improve, then trust into our Lord and Savior and pray to Him to have mercy on you and give you the strength to become the man you ought to be. You only should have sex when you're married anyways, so I cannot see how you not having options to fornicate is a bad thing. Now, I get that you are also unable to attract a woman the way that she desires you, but it is nothing you could not learn. Cut yourself some slack, many men grow up without (a proper) masculine role model and you aren't much to blame on how to do this and that with women because there is rarily proper guidance to find. If you haven't started, then you should stop masturbating and try to get into a daily routine, as well as doing (physical) work that fulfills you. With fulfillment and purpose you won't care as much about women and gain confidence without depending on the things that are expected by our degenerate society you'd have to do to be seen as manly; it's only a matter of time until you will radiate your God given masculinity as God intended, an females will take notice and, I can tell you, you will automatically know what and how to do to attract females of interest.

>>612547

>but how can people detach themselves from the world? it's called reality for a reason.

When I speak of detaching from the world, I really mean detaching from worldly desires (lust, greed, pride, etc.) as well as literally detaching from the world by joining a monastery. You're not detaching from reality, you're just detaching from the fleshly pursuits or, in the case of the monastery, the hubbub of modern society where one's fleshly desires are excited.

>>612569

Not the same poster, but I disagree; it’s easy to say “it’s not me, it’s the environment in which I grew up”…and sure, it has some bearings on what and who we become, but it’s also how one react to these stimuli that matters.

Please, don’t get me wrong, because you are not completely wrong…I just think too often we rather blame something or someone else than accept our own failures and faults.

>>612602

I'm not condoning to make oneself void of any responsibility, but OP should cut himself some slack in his self-perception nonetheless because we live in a twisted world that says that men are supposed to act like women, that light is darkness, lability is stability and so on and vice-versa. What is important now that he found his way to Christ at one point in his life and now he has no excuse to give himself up and has to become the man he ought to be. It is no black and white matter since both are at fault, he as well as his sick and twisted world he grew up in, and nowhere did I imply that he is at no fault, only that he is not completely at fault in any case, hence should not view himself as an utter failure. It is important to remember in such a state of mind why things have become as they have become, and as Jesus said in Mark 7:19-20:

19 Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats?

20 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.

Hence I fully agree that we are responsible on how we deal and act with matters thrown into our lives.

On a second note: I am genuinely asking how one can be corrupted. As a child, I had a firm perception and belief on how people ought to be and how I ought to be, which were, and still are, very Christian behavorial traits, or also known as traits you'd see in people who grew up in a village - despite I never grew up in a village either and many of my fellow folks were rather cold and sometimes cruel to one another. Nevertheless I never thought of such behavior as normal or excusable, hence would not even adapt to it unless I was very weak-minded in that moment. Now, is it actually always the case that everyone perceives that's how everyone ought to be - meaning being genuinely good to one another - and there is a variety of weak- and strong-minded people who adapt to our sick and twisted world?

>>612607

How one gets corrupted…well, I can tell you my own experience, but each one of us falls for different reasons. My fall was due to insecurity and lack of hope in God’s forgiveness.

>>612496

This.

I don't want to be a hypocrite OP because I too sometimes think about this, but when the thought comes to mind, it's best to simply ignore it and move on. It's not as if your life will change for the better if for example you had sex with a prostitute.

>>612483

>the meme hat virgins are subhumans to college women appears to be very true.

You shouldn't care about what roasting and thots think. This is your real problem.

>>612483

One rule I do agree with among the pickup community is not to discuss your sexual history. The only time it should be brought up with your woman is when you both trust each other and have already gone pretty far in understanding each other.

>>612483

Never be ashamed of your virginity: it is a great gift from God. Use it as a means to evangelise. Also women want what they can't have and if they know you're a virgin by choice who turns down sex then they will respect you (even if they hate you for making them look like sluts) and be attracted to you

>>612665

In a way, it’s given me time to (unsuccessfully) focus on myself more anyway. Of my friends that aren’t virgins, one is married (and waited until marriage) while the other is always dealing with some BS from his girlfriend of the month that doesn’t really seem inviting

>>612483

Sex is a very important part of human relationships. If you don't have sex with a woman, the connection you have may be deep, but it will never match the connection you get from sex. It is difficult to take another's opinion when they have less "experience" so to speak, and generally that's why people seem to discard your opinions.

The reason, I think, promiscuity is so rampant is because thanks to our technology people are unable to connect a-sexually. You can't just go around and start talking to people! you can, but thanks to a lifetime of staring at a computer screen, something I'm guilty of, it can be very overwhelming and even scary to try and talk with another person or go out with them, you don't want to risk doing something to upset them or bore them, etc. But, everyone likes sex, it feels good, you get to have a feeling of being close to somebody, et cetera.

Now, whoring is the oldest profession, so it's not as if this is anything new, but I think our problems are amplified by technology.

>>612639

It's true. non virgin marriages have about a 1/4 success rate, virgin marriages have something like 95%

>>612712

That could also be because virgin marriages have a high overlapping demographic of religious individuals.

>>612711

The people I know that aren’t virgins/shame virginity don’t have a history of successful and intimidate reationships: it’s a bunch of one night stands or hilariously awful relationships that they regret and/or didn’t have any concern for the emotional well-being of their partners.

>>612710

Mine was due to…solitude. I never trusted my family, my own flesh and blood, and I wanted to feel…loved, in the flesh. The despair grew so strong I did not care about God anymore, and a fake love would have been more than enough to quench my desires; thus, I crossed an ocean and went to the United States of America to have sexual intercourse with a (male) friend of mine. I don't want to tell more about my parents, for they love me even if they made mistakes whilst bringing me up…and I am aware that I should be glad that they were co-creators with God of my life, but at times it's somehow difficult to accept their failure at shaping me as a good person. But I still want to love them.

>>612759

>I never trusted my family, my own flesh and blood, and I wanted to feel…loved, in the flesh

This very void was one huge motivator to indulge completely into my fleshly desires and abandon God. I can forgive my parents but my love towards them is as good as nullified and don't plan to have anything to do with them in the future, since most of their contact towards me is disingenuously and obligatory empathetic than anything else. Hence I am very sorry to hear that you suffered a similar fate, and hope that you're not a fag and actually a grill you came to terms with your mistakes of your past and can be content with your present, and most importantly can forgive yourself as Christ forgives you.

Lift weights and get physically more attractive and become nice to talk to and nobody will brand you a loser.

>How does one overcome this? My own faults aside, I’ve never really liked the idea of casual sex and grew up on the teaching of abstaining until marriage.

First of all, you disregard the ideas of the world as false and irrelevant.

One of the most important things I have learned so far about the virtue of chastity is that it is more of a state of mind than a physical reality. It really hit me when I read that St Basil the Great one said "Though I have never known a woman, I am not a virgin". Basically, lustful thoughts, even if we do not consent to them physically, violate our virginity, and purity is to be sought at all times. St Paul does not mine words when he tells us to flee fornication.

>But, being college aged, the meme hat virgins are subhumans to college women appears to be very true.

<caring what overgrown, oversocialised children think

Stop it. They will just be upset about the idea that someone somewhere doesn't want to mount them, and they dislike the idea even more that someone can see their lifestyle for what it is. Evil and empty of joy. Full of pleasure, but empty of joy.

>Any opinions regarding relationships or sex are to be discarded immediately regardless of merit if you’re a virgin,etc

Then don't talk about it. And if you find yourself in evil company, leave it and pray. If you are of the spirit, you cannot win against the world by playing the world's game. Even if you best them at it, you still damage your soul. The best option is truly "not to play".

Don't ever ever ever be ashamed of your virginity. If they pursue you or confront you in order to mock you, submit and offer it up, but never yield. What can they do against you if you proudly own your virginity?

>>612483

It's not what it's cracked up to be and people drop that attitude after college/university.

>>612942

This isn’t even virgin exclusive;; everyone should get /fit/

>>612957

I cannot respond to your post in full at the moment, but regarding the statement pertaining to being upset that someone wouldn’t get with them: even if I wanted to, I would be denied, I imagine. I doubt anyone is upset because on an unrequited desire for my body, anywhere.

>>612995

I hope so, but I also don’t know anyone that met after college age that has a successful marriage. By the time I graduate, I don’t know if I’ll ever get married.

>>612497

+1

>>612711

>sex makes you closer

Exactly but it is in a way SOLELY meant for marriage. Period. It is in fact WHAT marries you. Consummation. Rest is ceremony. Sacred ceremony but ceremony nonetheless. The true sacrament is the consummation part. The ceremony is meant to publicly take away the woman from her father. I will NOT dishonor that for my father in law or my future wife.

>>612782

i'm a man, and I have a strange relationship with my father: both my parents had to work all day every day to make sure we (their 5 children) had food on the table every day and clothes and a good education, and I'll be always thankful for the sweat, tears and blood they poured for us. But being he firstborn, I had to be a "young adult" since I was 10, taking care of my brothers and sisters with all my limits and flaws of being a child. I saw my father like…once a month? At times less, and when he was home he was tired and may times hard to get along with; he also always scolded my youngest brother, which I loved the most due to his simple heart and good nature (even if he was a bit of a troublemaker). I grew to be obsessed with this image of my father, a missing figure which I desired to be closer to me and at the same time I deeply feared. In times, this devolved into a sexual fetish of sort, and I wanted to fill the void of this "father figure" somehow…and to do so, I wanted and I ended up having sexual intercourse with a friend. I always saw myself as a "testing ground" for my parents to learn to be good parents, a sort of Frankenstein's creature of stitched together and improvised solutions to issues and familiar problems which I had and that my parents had to solve for the first time. I went through many bad periods, cutting myself, almost dying of anorexia and then this homosexuality which I am still fighting against, even if at this time I am almost cured.

>>612995

This

>>613016

>regarding the statement pertaining to being upset that someone wouldn’t get with them: even if I wanted to, I would be denied, I imagine. I doubt anyone is upset because on an unrequited desire for my body, anywhere.

That's not the point. The point is that by "not playing" you are taking that power of approval or rejection out of their hands, and they don't like that. They would rather reject you after asking them, than you rejecting them by not even asking in the first place. Although the result is the same (no sex) the decision is not theirs to make in the latter case.

>>613580

This tbh

>>612483

Fornication and polyamory are actually social sterilization. Roasties and chads are sterile because their social conditioning and lifestyle makes them spill their seeds and egg all over the ground. Those thots you see in public? They're genetic dead ends.

>>612483

>Chastity

>Virtue

>Stigma

>Everyone wants to do a virgin but also ridicules virgin

This is your brain on (((modern))) society.

>>613702

I’ve actually never really heard of a preference for virgins outside of religious individuals. From the sample group I have, both sides want someone with experience

>>613835

>I’ve actually never really heard of a preference for virgins outside of religious individuals. From the sample group I have, both sides want someone with experience

>(1)

Hmm, yes, you're right, everybody prefers damaged to brand new goods, makes perfect sense, goy. In other news: every man I talked to, who is not a self-castrated migration fetishist, would prefer to marry a woman who is a virgin or only had - whatever the standard in these days is - a small lay count.

>>613840

Oh, I wasn't talking about marriage, just the "Everybody wants to do" bit. Even the most promiscuous men I know only want to marry a virgin.

>>612516

Have faith that God forgives you of your sins. Believing that a sin is too great for God to forgive is a sin itself.

Am I a virgin if I’ve never had PIV sex but done other stuff?

>>616047

I don’t think so

I simply don't care about the stigma. It doesn't matter to me what they think, what matters is what God thinks. God desires us to not have sexual relations outside of wedlock, and it's simple as that. I'd rather follow God than follow degenerates into darkness and hell. Whenever anyone asks me if I've had sex, I always honestly, straight-up, tell them 'no', because I'm not married.

#VirginPride

>>612483

>But, being college aged, the meme hat virgins are subhumans to college women appears to be very true.

t. retard

>>616076

T. Post college adult.

I didn’t talk to anyone in college and the only people that spoke to me were women that went out of their way to harass me when they saw me on campus.

>>612581

almost a week later but thanks for the post.