>>597673
I was raised by two cultural catholic parents
My father is an well intentioned but ultimately ignorant person, that only recently started to go to Church with me. He was the one who alway told me to respect God, to have faith and those little generic things.
So I always knew God existed, I just didn't care because He wasn't on my life, he was somenthing more abstract. When things got bad on my life I would curse God, but I would always ask for forgiveness later, for I knew that what I did was wrong.
Demons and evil spirits I knew that existed because they would appear on my house.
When I was 4 to 6 I was fearful of going to the kitchen, since i thought there was a monster there. A black shadow, in the shape of a man, with red eyes. It would occasionaly appear on the rest of the house.
I was always fearful of these 'shadows', and would run away and ask God to protect me.
So I was, and still am to a certain extent, extremely superstitious, and always feared urban legends and other spooky things.
My relationship with my faith began to change when I was 12 years old. I was doing bad at school, and I promised God that if i passed that year I would pray before sleep every day.
I did pass, and with some unusual ocurrences, such as answers to questions on tests that would come out of nowhere to my head, even when I had no idea how to answer the questions.
When I was 15 i began to develop depression, and I felt a great void on my heart. Worst of all, the 'shadows' began to appear again, comfirming to me that they weren't just childhood imagination.
At 16 I decided that I couldn't live in this 'atheist' lifestyle anymore, and that I should worship a god, any god.
I rejected satanism and occultism because I knew those things were evil, but I also rejected christianity because it was 'boring'. I wanted a 'cool' faith, and I had decided on norse paganism. Just as I was browsing a site about norse paganism and considering converting, I felt a great light on my heart, that seemed to say Don't do that(I am sorry if this seems confusing, its the only way I can express what happened with words). I immediatly closed that site, returned to the Catholic faith and decided to initiate my Cathecism and have first communion.
Pic related, the 'shadows' that I saw looked like these