If /christian/ started a church

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If /christian/ started a church Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 22:38:46 79dec0 No.553149

What would it be like and look like? What are the commonalities with which we would all agree upon? Grape juice or wine?

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 22:49:39 6e9d9d No.553156

File: 507cf14bc00a18a⋯.webm (5.59 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, Vitamin K.webm)

Vitamin K supplements are distributed at the door.

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 22:52:39 444cae No.553158

The entire service would be one continuous verbal fight.

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 22:54:32 1239c5 No.553159

>>553149

Like this, but instead of chess it would be theological debate

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_boxing

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:04:46 6a86fb No.553165

File: ebcc915f1223394⋯.gif (612.23 KB, 500x500, 1:1, Flashcat.gif)

>>553159

Imagine the doctrinal discussions after CTE kicks in

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:13:04 f1ab98 No.553174

more like an ecumenical council but everyone is slapping each other

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:22:41 30f232 No.553184

File: 1a9e23d24edf47b⋯.png (308.33 KB, 520x1040, 1:2, e1aa8e322eff02595137707a1a….png)

>>553149

Wine obviously. But to be fair, anything without at least some "brawl" discussion at the end would seem as dishonest.

>>553174

he gets it

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:27:08 609d9e No.553188

>>553184

>Anti-semitism isn't okay

>Not my pope on catholicism

>God bless Putin!

Okay no

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:33:39 105b42 No.553191

File: 393fef71e9269b6⋯.png (55.49 KB, 479x543, 479:543, Screenshot (30).png)

>>553156

Ritz Cracker communion wafers?

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:37:13 30f232 No.553196

File: b7ad9e9f1387274⋯.jpg (164.36 KB, 500x1280, 25:64, 8b6f62171da3221530d2a2dd0b….jpg)

>>553188

That pic was an old /christian/ meme.

From a year or two ago I guess. Don't take them so literally.

Christanon 11/09/17 (Thu) 23:47:47 bd7e62 No.553206

>>553184

>spirituality and religion are the same thing right?

When it says spirituality does it mean the gnosis version of it? because Religion does have spiritual practices, like praying. Than again isn't everything spritual, a mother cooking food for her family is also spiritual, but don't really have a good understanding on this, just stuff i've heard from NewAgers.

Christanon 11/10/17 (Fri) 00:05:10 c16e91 No.553215

File: 57aab0d4227ba3c⋯.jpg (256.15 KB, 700x700, 1:1, gluten-free-communion-kit-….jpg)

File: d0702f602643050⋯.jpg (37.1 KB, 960x520, 24:13, brotties.jpg)

- Jesus Christ is an okay guy

- No homos allowed

- No Jews allowed

Day 1 schism, into the Cathodox Apostolic Church and the First Second Baptist Church

Cathodox Apostolic Church:

- Only authoritative Bible is The Message

- Beards & liturgical clothing

- Catholics can say the filioque in the creed as long as they're not too loud

- Communion under both kinds, or just one kind if that's the way you swing

- Must offer candles to the Mother of God everyday or face excommunication

- Prayers to St. Putin of Moscow at every Matins for the Orthodox

- Have special charismatic Vespers for the Catholics

- Must pray the Daily Office everyday or face excommunication

First Second Baptist Church:

- Only authoritative Bible is the KJV

- Anything more fancy than what you'd wear at the office is burned

- Rebaptize everyone everyday just because

- Gluten-free communion kit

- Must offer candles to St. Steven the Andersonite everyday or you are not truly saved

- Have a campfire weekly where unholy "Bibles" are to be burned

- Gay members of the congregation are also to be burned

- If you cannot pronounce the 5 solae correctly, you are not truly saved

Christanon 11/10/17 (Fri) 00:21:50 30f232 No.553225

>>553206

I'm guessing biggest deal breaker is implied revisionism in OT. "gnosis" is seen as "weird" mystical experience; but given it has attached the revisionism of OT meaning it is seen as a gateway to heresy solely/majorly for that point.

Christanon 11/10/17 (Fri) 00:28:34 30f232 No.553230

>>553149

-wine

-latin mass

-alternating with greek mass to avoid conflict with orthodox

-supplemental/optional KJVs to avoid mass of upset baptists and protestants

-debate club at the end of each session

-big rant on modern degeneracy at end of each week, theological fights start

-tfw no tradicionalist gf feel sessions at the end, the understanding easing all previous conflict

rinse and repeat

Christanon 11/10/17 (Fri) 00:49:17 7e8fc2 No.553242

>>553149