c1b531 No.520240
>in mass
>priest is korean
>very thick accent
>can't understand the sermon
>mfw
75ff6b No.520241
>in mass
>priest is speaking latin
>very dead language
>can't understand
>mfw
2f106f No.520243
>in mass
>priest is mynationality
>speaks fluent mylanguage
>don't pay attention because I'm a 6 year old brat
>mum asks me if I think it was boring
>I say yes
>never takes me to church again
>mfw
>move
>only "churches" close to me are either protestant or jehovah's witness
>mfw
b50029 No.520246
>in church
>preacher is Nigerian
>very thick accent
>can't a quarter of the sermon
>mfw
318f1b No.520255
>in mass
>priest is an Indian
>very thick accent
>can't understand the sermon
>priest says something about the "omen of the eel"
>mother gets upset, saying we're Catholic, we don't believe in omens about eels or whathaveyou
>confronts priest about it
>turns out he was speaking about the woman of the year
>never go back to 10:00 am mass again
16256d No.520260
>in mass inside a strip mall
>church is an office room
>pastor in business suit gritting his teeth, forcing a smile out
>he sees a picture of Jesus on my smartphone
>immediately slaps it out of my hands and yells "NO GRAVEN IMAGES INSIDE MY CHURCH!!!"
>calms down, walks behind the pulpit
>"Lord KJV may you guide me during this sermon and open our hearts to your love and wisdom."
>starts yelling about faggots at the pulpit for 1hour
>same sermon everyday
>ends with "May the KJV Bless us all, Amen"
>gives us the eucharist, says its just ironic and doesn't really "count" just like baptism
2f106f No.520269
>>520260
how is it a graven image? and
>kjv
f5d1ef No.520273
>in mass
>no matter where in the country I go, the priest will be my nationality
>no matter where in the country I go, he will speak my language
fbb275 No.520283
>at divine liturgy
>bunch of expensive cars parked in front of the church
>homily time
>homily is based around something Trump said
>completely irrelevant to the saint of the day or to the scriptures we read
>go to another parish
>it's made up of a bunch of people who left the one above because the priest acted like greeks must only go to churches that are under the EP
Whew
a0651b No.520312
>>520240
>In mass
>Priest is American
>No accent
>Understand sermon perfectly
>mfw
410d7e No.520313
>>520269
'tis but a joke, I suspect…
8022d6 No.520322
>on business trip
>go to mass at dual language church
>priest speaks my language natively
prettygood.png
>sermon is about lost sense of tight-knit community after the majority of our country's population became Christian and gained more nominals than it could bear
feels.tga
>suddenly starts bitching about Trump
>we're in Italy
I want to get off Mr. Shekelstein's wild ride
2f106f No.520325
>>520313
come on anon the kjv is not that good of a version
be7191 No.520512
>go to church that's nearest my house
>old priest's homily is about forgiveness and how we have to accept people no matter what they do, even if they're homosexuals
>talks about going to homo weddings he's invited to because he loves everyone
>average of the congregation is about 70
>drive down to a church about 15 minutes away from my house
>young priest's homily is about how we must resist the secular culture and its evil fruits, how we must spread the Christian faith in times when sins such as fornication, adultery, homosexuality, the killing of kids or the rejection of God is normalized
>average age of the congregations is 25, most of the women are in veils and men are in suits, it's full of large young families and there's more people than at the other church
huh
534aa5 No.520592
>>520240
>in mass
>priest talks about importance of being part of orthodox tradition
>resist modernity and embrace traditions
>mfw priest is a cis white male who spreads misogynistic hate towards the Lgbtqqxyz community
07a548 No.520593
>>520325
B-but it has the word "King" in it's name so obviously it's da best!!
83ae93 No.520601
75ff6b No.520602
>>520593
Budweiser is the king of beers and James Version is the King of Bibles. Why shop around when you already have the king?
f6ddc9 No.520632
>>520602
>drinking watered down horse piss
6b7d0f No.520635
>>520255
>Not heeding the omen of the eel
4b0b66 No.520670
>in mass a few weeks ago
>intercessory prayers
>based on the reading of Romans 11 from that day where St Paul talks about trying to arouse holy envy in the Jews by preaching to the gentiles
>Intercession offered for the Jews based on some dual-covenant rubbish for them to persevere in love and devotion to God or whatever
Why?
ffe409 No.520681
>go to Mass in new area
>suffer through the speech of the modernist priest
>most of the "hymns" are equivalent to rock songs
>there's clapping at the ending song
>go to see the priest and introduce myself
>lean in and whisper: You need to achieve Gnosis, child of the Demiurge
>he puts on a smile, but his eyes say it all
>walk away satisfied and beaming with pride and mystical Aeonic energy
292509 No.520692
>>520512
Sounds about right, actually. My current parish's priest doesn't really touch on certain things like that (except at the expense of protties), and he's in his mid 60s, but today the deacon gave the homily and he outright said "It's not our job to tolerate sin. It's our job to tell people they need to stop sinning."
It was refreshing to hear.
e4dd42 No.520717
>In mass
>closing announcements
>Priest says he's going to city hall for prayer with other religious leaders
>ecumenism
>Mfw
80233e No.520723
>in mass
>sermon was replaced by a video of the archbishop asking for gibs for some of his projects
>literally half an hour of "this is important for our community thank you for you generosity please give me money"
this is not ok
31d680 No.520724
>>520246
are you at my parish? I had a Nigerian priest there too
534aa5 No.520725
>>520692
We have a similar thing going at my church as well, this new rector is pretty trad and most of the sermons have been promoting orthodox Anglicanism
f6ddc9 No.520734
>>520723
>same thing here
>uses Rom 13:8 as justification on this
>completely ignores Ezekiel 33:7-9 and Mt 18:15-20 as that would have implied that sin is bad and that it's good to reprimand public sinners
when will we ever oust these cancerous Liberation Theologians?
75ff6b No.520738
>>520725
>orthodox Anglicanism
lol
534aa5 No.520741
>>520738
Two can play this game
07a548 No.520761
>>520741
>comparing one random girl to ordained clergywymyn
534aa5 No.520766
>>520761
Fair enough, it really was just meant to be bants. But really most Anglicans (at least in America) tend to be pretty conservative. Episcopals on the other hand are atheists larping as Anglicans, and are an embarrassment. And the branch that I belong to, The Anglican Church of North America, doesn't ordain women.
61e426 No.520827
Get curious in IFB based on the posters here and pastor Anderson so I find such a church.
>Going to sermon on Romans 3 and general talk on the error of Jews and religious pride + opposing
>refreshing sincerity and honesty
>Part way through after a prayer they had a part where the pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they were not 100% sure they were saved or thought they still might end up in hell
>Im the only one to raise their hand
a66de4 No.522356
>>520766
I fill in as an organist on occasion for the local Episcopal church and can confirm. Last Sunday I was grabbing coffee after church and one lady went on a rant about how gender was different than sex and then one person said they were going to collect an offering for the SPLC soon.
3ed0c6 No.522381
>>520602
>Budweiser is the king of beers
800d52 No.530972
>>520240
>be 14
>have a black friend
>mom wants me to get back into church
>tells me to go to church with black friend
>he's an AME methodist
>get there
>literally no white people but me
>sermon is about how the White man devil sets up powers and principalities in the world to keep a brotha down oppress and disenhearten the christian community.
>readings were from exodus, so hes using moses and egyptian slavery imagery
>priest literally tells the congregation that "the white man is enslaving our people even today" with various examples
>everyone in the congregation is giving me, the white devil, dirty looks
Fuck AME methodists.
a5593c No.531001
>>520827
> Im the only one to raise their hand
Good for you anon. This whole meme of "I'm 100% sure I'm saved because I've said the sinners prayer" is such arrogant nonsense.
Philippians 2:12
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,
9e006f No.531126
>>520269
lurk moar
it's a subject of debate here, though we haven't had one for a few weeks
>>520512
You know what to do
>>520734
You replied to the wrong post
>>520738 >>520761
pic seems related
091c10 No.531174
>>520827
Good for you anon,truth is nobody knows if they are saved or not except God, I think people who "100% know" they will be saved have little room for self improvement and are contempt to live the way they have always lived.
>"Once saved, always saved" is absolute bullshit.
045501 No.531178
>in Mass
>had a very lazy NEET life week
>sleeping schedule all over the place
>can't find my place in the missal at all
>nothing matches up
>know I have the number date right
>never found my place through the whole thing
>5 minutes after leaving check phone
>I had the month wrong
The shame.
50c75a No.531190
>>520692
>Tfw I think I was at that mass
H-hello?
34f1db No.531199
>in mass
>priest is some kind of african or something
>very thick accent
>can't understand the sermon
>mfw
34f1db No.531201
>>520635
The words the eel spoke have not been revealed, how am I to follow the omen?
f3f190 No.531210
>>531126
Are Anglo-Catholics more liberal than the rest?
Shieeeet
1c2894 No.531259
>in mass
>priest is charismatic
>hdhxudjwbzidnsbsi
5c542e No.536551
> Go to Mass.
> So empty, can't scrape together money for basic repairs.
> Priest lectures us about not being racist.
> Boasts about calling Rhodesia Zimbabwe before it was fully confirmed by Zionist world order.
> Conveniently omits the white genocide.
> See Tranny beard obese man in dress and tights receive communion.
> Leave.
> Go to next nearest Mass.
> Assume its so full because of the faggotry going on down the street.
> Feelbadman because I never did anything to confront that other church.
083ea4 No.536553
>>520241
>at church
>no eucharist
>its just symbolic anyway
>contradict everything the early church and bible teaches
>mfw
f6df6f No.536559
>in mass
>lectors mumble during readings
>priest mumbles gospel
>priest mumbles homily
>lector mumbles intercessions
>priest mumbles canon
>can't understand anything
>mfw
a84ecc No.536563
>>520241
>tfw you're learning latin to truly understand traditional mass and church fathers
>tfw you realize that Cathodox are in the truth and somewhat certain protestant sects
6dfc08 No.536577
>>536563
That's a "When you see it" meme if I ever saw one…
a84ecc No.536582
>>536577
It's the worst thing I've ever wrote, you no since I'm tired after a long and harsh journey I don't have all my thinking capability so I ramble some incomprehensible and random thing, and english isn't my mother tongue
a84ecc No.536583
>>536582
know* how can I make such mistakes. I'm gonna get some rest, it's already far too late here,, good day/night brother
6dfc08 No.536590
>>536583
Oh no, not the writing. The image. O_O
No problem though. :D Good night!
a84ecc No.536592
>>536590
My bad I thought you wrote "the face when" so I assumed it was about the writing ! And yes I'm still awake….
aa4b68 No.536595
>>536590
If you couldn't see that in the thumbnail from across the room, then you need to get your eyes checked.
A "when you see it" needs to be hidden, requiring you to really look for it.
6dfc08 No.536604
>>536595
Yeah, no. Literally type "when you see it meme" in the search engine and you'll see that many are just in plain sight but may require more than a glance to understand what's there.
This one was upside down for instance and seemingly an innocent picture at first.
aa4b68 No.536633
>>536604
Check the age on those things. A lot of the "when you see it" classics were made back when people were still using AOL on Windows 95. It's the same reason older sci-fi movies that were cutting edge for the time look like crap on modern screens.
6dfc08 No.536746
>>536633
Um, sure… This doesn't change my rebuttal that simple ones can exist.
Even then, this one here is from the top "newest" on Know Your Meme's "When you see it" tag. They exist either way.
3231b0 No.536792
>RCIA as an inquirer
>Some other inquirer asks a question about hell
>Read pic related earlier in the day
>Explain all about the torments of hell
>Womyn staff member speaks up
<Oh, we don't teach about that anymore in our course, we decided it would be too harsh for a new Catholic to learn about
>There is no other parish to flee to
>It is now up to me to do the teaching
adcb28 No.536817
>>536792
Just don't lay it on too thick, anon. The Lord wants Contrition, not Attrition.
cfd958 No.537273
>be protestant
>go to Catholic mass with friends
>at one point, everybody stands and turns toward each other
>I think it's the "everyone greet each other" part that I'm used to
>lady in front of me turns to face me
>"Hi!" I say enthusiastically
>she laughs and says "peace be with you"
>oh
da91a2 No.537282
It wasn't really a bad time but it was cringe for me
>First time attending Mass (catholic)
>new to Christianity, I was reading the bible for the first time
>Mass goes well, it was pretty great
>peoples suddenly get up and start making a line
>"Oh I guess I should follow them"
>Waiting eagerly, don't know what to except
>ItWasTheEucharist.png
>It's my turn now
>don't know what do
>the priest ask me
>"Are you baptized ?"
>reply "No, and this is my first mass"
>gently holds my arms
>"I'm always glad to see someone new to the Faith, but you can't take the Eucharist now. God bless you"
>go back to my sit
>feel strange and embarrassed
>>537273
That's cute actually, anon.
a58091 No.537325
da05a6 No.537326
>nearest TLM at a non-Sede/SSPX church is like a 2 hour drive each drive
>clapping during mass
>15 extraordinary ministers get behind the altar every mass and rub hand-sanitizer on themselves during the consecration
>guitars
>the tabernacle is in a broom closet
a58091 No.537327
lol, here's what you believe right?
>18Woe to you who desire the day of the LORD!
>Why would you have the day of the LORD?
>It is darkness, and not light,
>19as if a man fled from a lion, and a bear met him,
>or went into the house and leaned his hand against the wall, and a serpent bit him.
>20Is not the day of the LORD darkness, and not light, and gloom with no brightness in it?
a58091 No.537328
>21“I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
>22Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them;
>and the peace offerings of your fattened animals, I will not look upon them.
>23Take away from me the noise of your songs;
>to the melody of your harps I will not listen.
>24But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
a58091 No.537332
I told God I am not going to sell my soul to Him and allow Him to turn my life into a game and allow Him to turn others' lives into games and further dehumanize people and further ally Himself with those who commit human rights abuses. This is my charge against God, that He is guilty of far too much evil for me to follow the dark and wretched path of Christendom.
b79cf7 No.537405
>>537282
>>peoples suddenly get up and start making a line
>
>>"Oh I guess I should follow them"
3ed0c6 No.537515
>>537332
great job goy, how brave
0ee30c No.537524
>join Orthodox Church
>only girl there is 15 year old homeschooled girl
>obviously likes me despite me being 20
Why can't I get women my age to like me? I either get single moms in their 30's or girls too young both are equally repulsive to me.
42a8f4 No.537526
>>537524
>Prime of your life
>Attract a girl who's a Christian and most likely a virgin
>Lament that she's not an insignificant amount of time older
Brother, you've just described what a lot of people would either claim doesn't exist or impossible to attract. There's basically no difference physically between 15 and 18 these days. Wait until she can legally marry wherever you are, then wife her.
3c4c26 No.537560
>>537524
>girl 5 years younger is repulsive
What's wrong with you? That's a perfect normal age difference.
da91a2 No.537579
>>537524
>tfw no qt homeschooled 15 year old gf
410d7e No.537586
>>537524
Wait three more years and marry her; 'tis an order! I wasted my opportunity at the beginning of this year, don't be a fool!
ffffd8 No.537587
That feel when you derive more enjoyment and learning from Pastor Anderson's sermons on Youtube then the church you are currently going to.
At this point im just going to 'socialise' and network with other christians in my age group.
410d7e No.537593
>>537590
What's wrong with using 'tis instead of it is
b79cf7 No.537629
Not a bad story but i have no where to post it:
I went to weekday Mass today and i feel so refreshed and euphoric. I leave every Mass feeling this way and i'm on a high throughout the whole evening.
>Not going to Mass everyday
790907 No.537668
>>537526
>>537560
Pedos, jeez; why don't I just marry her now?
164a57 No.537905
>after mass, everyone is leaving
>notice that one of the extraordinary ministers is at the little table at the back of the apse, wiping down the chalices
>picks up one of the chalices which must still have some Wine in it
>knocks it back like he's finishing a dram of whiskey
>see him and a few other doing this since
Fucking EMs. I wish they would just get rid of them all. Them and passkeepers.
10c778 No.538076
>>537905
If it's legal for them to receive communion I don't see the problem
410d7e No.538087
>>538076
I do believe his issue was not with the act itself, but with the way of was performed
cedfd3 No.538772
>>537668
15 is well above pedo territory, and would have been a perfectly normal age for a woman to be married throughout most of human history (our neotenous culture being a noted exception). The Mother of God herself was not more than 15 when she was betrothed to Joseph. I'm not saying you should go for it in your case, as our laws and culture would make things harder and delay marriage, but to say that it's inherently disgusting is just silly.
6544cd No.538799
>at a church concert
>organist is world-famous
>toured all over the world
>standing ovation in Notre Dame
>the concert starts…
>terrible, terrible acoustics spoil everything
>thanks, world-famous modern architect
>feel lucky it's not the church nearest to me
596160 No.542659
>>537524
I get married women attracted to me, that's worse than getting single mom's in their 30s.
cringe story:
>be looking for a new church to attend and to get converted
>go with friend who is Catholic to a local Catholic Church
>this one is near a university
>feels different
>there's Holy Water by the door, so it must be catholic
>altar is is bare wall with podium
>one or two statues
>try my best to 'fit in'
>fails
>get the 'greet everyone', scares me
>leave and never look back
31a2b5 No.542691
dbdce1 No.542936
>>537326
TLM with extraordinary ministers? Is it diocesan?
989426 No.542946
>half of everyone at church is sick
>no hand shaking to prevent spread
>don't get to shake the hand of my oneitis
I don't know if I can wait ANOTHER whole week
47edd9 No.542954
be0c3a No.543444
>>542936
I think they didn't drive 2 hours and went to a Novus Ordo mass instead.
2ff9c8 No.543451
>>520269
We have 0(zero) idea what Jesus looked like besides he looked like a normal person and had short hair.
984a4f No.543874
>go to church
>see a faggot flag on it and a sign that says "Everyone is welcome" in multiple languages, including Spanish and Arabic
>there was supposedly a faggot wedding later in the day
21c358 No.546223
16bf3a No.546857
>pastor Jim is doing his powerpoint in a middle school on 1st Kings
>talks about how the one of the prophet's servants perverted the temple
>ends sermon with accountability slide
>Adresses the men, "What are you doing to avoid sexual immorality?"
>most young women in the church are dressed so slutty where cleavage or buttcheek are visible. Minors too.
>mention to one of my friends that the women here are out of control
>he is visibly shook by my honesty
Feel like the only one acknowledging this at Church.
81c139 No.546858
>>543874
you need to change churches
>>543451
>and had short hair.
source
832e75 No.546912
>>543451
>We have 0(zero) idea what Jesus looked like besides he looked like a normal person and
<Implying
> had short hair.
Define short.
fc908d No.546914
>See this thread
>Realize I posted in the wrong thread
Repost here.
Going to churches lately trying to find one that is good for me.
Today's visit was above the average novus ordo tier bullcrap. So the people were dancing on front of the stadium and two of them suddenly went off with the rhythm of the rest of the choir. Two women, a adolescent started suddenly going left and right with her trunk and mostly dancing in place, its difficult to describe. The other started randomly circling in places, and got knocked out and laid in the floor. People covered her in a black sheet and let the sermon continue until she recovered.
I was so mystified I forgot to scream at the Priest for saying he was selling bread some time afterwards.
I'll seek repentance for completely allowing the Priest to break the law of god and start commerce in his Temple, and after that, Holy Spirit(and posters in this board) help me understand what just happened.
(Form last thread too, church was Pentecostal)
ad1580 No.547636
>>543451
Well what would a normal persom at that place and time look like?
bf17ca No.547638
>>543451
and wear trousers
a5ab07 No.547648
>be me
>have to attend a Protestant "Service" because a client wants to attend church and he has the right.
> literally an hour of some dude talking in a high tone about how "magical" he feels and cajoling his rich congregants to gibs money.
>white protestant singing is creepy.