edd838 No.9501
En Garde, Fuckboy!
The great Skeleton War is upon us! Ar your bony ass, we got murdering to do!
fill this out:
Skeleton type:
Fluff:
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
____________________________
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edd838 No.9508
>>9501
Skeleton type: Albertadromeus
Fluff: Alberta was once a dinosaur. A glorious, glorious dinosaur, in the dinosaur age. He fucked shit up, and he fucked EVERYTHING. But when those motherfucking meteors came, he died, and his bones were nearly destroyed with him. Nearly. His bones were sunken into the earth, and millions of years later, he was brought back up, and resurrected. After learning the culture, and re-learning how to be badass again, he decides to join the bone military.
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9517
>>9501
Skeleton type: Nameless Mook
Fluff: The endless ranks of the dead aren't a menagerie of epic ghouls and timeless terrors. In fact, an overwhelming majority are just hero fodder. They're the cackling toadies, the hordes of bones and rusted blades that were reanimated to die a second time, hopefully living long enough to keep the heroes and defenders busy. This is one such mook. If it had a name in life, it was certainly not granted such a pleasure in death. But every necromancer needs his early subjects, every lich his waves of serviles, every dark lord his endless armies. Maybe this one will even live long enough to put that sword to use. I wouldn't count on it.
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9522
Skeleton type: Egyptian Mummy
Fluff: Fucking Skeletons, they're so goddamn pathetic and plebeian. Can't even be bothered to put on clothes, some of the undead have a reputation around here. We can't just go around naked, sloppily drinking milk and splattering it on the floor. They all look the same too, and are filthy non-royalty. You were once a mighty king of an ancient civilization, and after you died, you were put to rest in a decent manner. Millenias later, you resurrect to find these disgusting, no dignity skeletons just fucking across the land. You cannot allow these filthy skeleplebs to survive. After equipping your Sarcophagus as armor. You set off on your journey to purge the filthy skeletons with your Sarcophagus Fists.
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9537
Skeleton type: Itty Bitty Skellie
Fluff: Oh boy! All da Gwown Ups are so scawy! It's ok tho, I gots my big-boy skellietun costoom, and i wanna go twickor tweating! Da Gwown Ups keep powking me and saying stuff like "I think that's just a kid in a costume, he smells like flesh, and he's too squishy to be a real skeleton." but odder skellie Gwown Ups sais I just has soft bones cuz I'm young, and I smells cuz I ated others humans.
They give me so much milk to drink!
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9542
fill this out:
Skeleton type:Dragon
Fluff: Roar I was once a noble dragon that will steal maidens and gold. Roar I eat peasants for fun and hunger. Roar now a dumbass knight killed me and took the maiden. Roar dragons don't get funerals you retard. Roar now I'm skelledragon that will send you to hell. Motherfucker hear me ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9544
>>9501
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u_v9H24PfY
>Skeleton Type:
Super
>Fluff:
After being bitten by a radioactive skeleton/ingesting the Super Soldier CalSerum/Discovering his Cryptonin heritage/Having his Skeleton parents murdered after watching Jason and the Argonauts, mild-mannered Milk Deliveryskeleton Brian Bones became SKELETON MAN: DEFENDER OF SPOOK, JUSTICE, AND THE SKELETON WAY
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9551
Name: Harold
Skeleton type: Old-ass warrior
Fluff: Harold was your typical Anglo-Saxon warrior. But everything changed when the Fire Nation Normans attacked. He was killed in the battle of Hastings and was given a tidy little cairn afterwards. When the skeleton war came around, he was at a loss. For one thing, he was alive. Sort of. For another, some asshole in a weird hat was shouting at him to go to war again. So, he grabbed his rusty-ass gear and marched over to the nearest foreward command post. He spends his time carving fancy patterns into his bones. He thinks it looks neat. Sometimes, he considers lighting himself on fire to intimidate his enemies. He's a skeleton after all. What harm could it do?
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9564
>>9501
Skeleton type: Lord
Fluff: Risen from his treasure filled mound in the valley of his ancestors his fury at being disturbed from the peaceful afterlife in the valley of kings drives him to kill the living and he does it well, in life he was a wise and powerful king with sophistication in many arts and now death becomes him.
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9567
>>9508
(I hope you know that the Albertadromeus was an itty bitty herbavore with a gimpy leg)
Strength: You drink your milk boi!
Equipment: None!
Bonus:
[shit! boy! fast as bones!]
Swag: None! A dinoskell don't need no swag!
>>9517
Strength: DYEL?
Equipment: one cheap-ass sword
Bonus: You're one among millions, so you have a million-to-one chance of being fragged by a fuckboi
Swag: just a doctor's note diagnosing you as swag-negative
>>9522
Woah! Hold on there Jack Skellingnope, mummies aren't skeletons! Go back and decompose for another millennium!
>>9537
Strength: none
Equipment: 5 milk
Bonus: can be thrown
Swag: training pants, socks
>>9542
Strength: aw fuck skrong as hell boi
Equipment: none
Bonus:
[dead as fuck: can't fly or breath fire]
Swag: dental gold
>>9544
my fucking sides
Strength: hella skrong
Equipment: none
Bonus: 2spoopy4u
Swag: look at those fukkin abs boi you ripped as hell boi
>>9551
Strength: YEL
Equipment: some rusty-ass armor and shit
Bonus:
[confused: you have no fukkin' idea what's goin' on]
Swag: bone swaaaagggg
>>9564
Strength: 5
Equipment: some old-ass armor n' shit
Bonus: none
Swag: some old-ass armor n' shit
Now, the skeleton army is a little disjointed, but there's no time to bone up on tactics now. There are, however, benefits to an ossified command structure, and there's already some guy in a fancy hat yelling at you to get out of the graveyard where you were resurrected.
Everyskell take an action, 1d100, boi!
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edd838 No.9569
 | Rolled 17 (1d100) |
>>9567
Skeleton type: Albertadromeus
Fluff: Alberta was once a dinosaur. A glorious, glorious dinosaur, in the dinosaur age. He fucked shit up, and he fucked EVERYTHING. But when those motherfucking meteors came, he died, and his bones were nearly destroyed with him. Nearly. His bones were sunken into the earth, and millions of years later, he was brought back up, and resurrected. After learning the culture, and re-learning how to be badass again, he decides to join the bone military.
Strength: You drink your milk boi!
Equipment: None!
Bonus: [shit! boy! fast as bones!]
Swag: None! A dinoskell don't need no swag!
1: GET MY ASS OUTTA THERE AND ROAR LIKE THE MOTHERFUCKING BADASS I AM
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edd838 No.9570
| Rolled 96 (1d100) |
>>9567
>fill this out:
>Skeleton type:Dragon
>Fluff: Roar I was once a noble dragon that will steal maidens and gold. Roar I eat peasants for fun and hunger. Roar now a dumbass knight killed me and took the maiden. Roar dragons don't get funerals you retard. Roar now I'm skelledragon that will send you to hell. Motherfucker hear me ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>don't fill this out:
Strength: aw fuck skrong as hell boi
Equipment: none
Bonus: [dead as fuck: can't fly or breath fire]
Swag: dental gold
1. ROAR LIKE THE MOTHERFUCKING BADASS I AM BECAUSE I'M A DRAGON
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edd838 No.9571
| Rolled 18 (1d100) |
>>9567
Skeleton type: Nameless Mook
Fluff: The Endless Ranks of the Dead aren't a menagerie of epic ghouls and timeless terrors. In fact, an overwhelming majority are just hero fodder. They're the cackling toadies, the hordes of bones and rusted blades that were reanimated to die a second time, hopefully living long enough to keep the heroes and defenders busy. This is one such mook. If it had a name in life, it was certainly not granted such a pleasure in death. But every necromancer needs his early subjects, every lich his waves of serviles, every dark lord his endless armies. Maybe this one will even live long enough to put that sword to use. I wouldn't count on it.
Strength: DYEL?
Equipment: one cheap-ass sword
Bonus: You're one among millions, so you have a million-to-one chance of being fragged by a fuckboi
Swag: just a doctor's note diagnosing you as swag-negative
1 - Clacklacklacklacklack. Best do as the boss says. Don't want to get clacked again.
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edd838 No.9576
| Rolled 37 (1d100) |
>>9567
>Skeleton Type:
Super
>Fluff:
After being bitten by a radioactive skeleton/ingesting the Super Soldier CalSerum/Discovering his Cryptonin heritage/Having his Skeleton parents murdered after watching Jason and the Argonauts, mild-mannered Milk Deliveryskeleton Brian Bones became SKELETON MAN: DEFENDER OF SPOOK, JUSTICE, AND THE SKELETON WAY!
>Strength:
hella strong
>Equipment:
None
>Bonus:
2spoopy4u
>Swag:
Look at those fukkin abs boi you ripped as hell boi
>1 [COMIC BOOK COVER INTENSIFIES]
Pose dramatically on top of an outcropping or particularly large grave, eerie wind whipping the cape behind.
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edd838 No.9578
>>9567
Skeleton type: Jazz Skeleton
Fluff: A skeleton with a saxophone and mad skills. The sounds of smooth jazz will fill the night air and backdrop the rattling march of the skellington army.
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9579
Skeleton type: Skeleton Mummy
Fluff: Fucking Skeletons, they're so goddamn pathetic and plebeian. Can't even be bothered to put on clothes, some of the undead have a reputation around here. We can't just go around naked, sloppily drinking milk and splattering it on the floor. They all look the same too, and are filthy non-royalty. You were once a mighty king of an ancient civilization, and after you died, you were put to rest in a decent manner. Millenias later, you resurrect to find these disgusting, no dignity skeletons just fucking across the land. You cannot allow these filthy skeleplebs to survive. After equipping your Sarcophagus as armor. You set off on your journey to purge the filthy skeletons with your Sarcophagus Fists. However, in a twist, it turns out despite the attempts to preserve your body, it has still rotted into a skeleton. Luckily for you, you're wrapped up so you can't tell.
don't fill this out:
Strength:
Equipment:
Bonus:
Swag:
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edd838 No.9580
| Rolled 93 (1d100) |
>>9567
Skeleton type: Lord
Fluff: Risen from his treasure filled mound in the valley of his ancestors his fury at being disturbed from the peaceful afterlife in the valley of kings drives him to kill the living and he does it well, in life he was a wise and powerful king with sophistication in many arts and now death becomes him.
Strength: 5
Equipment: some old-ass armor n' shit
Bonus: none
Swag: some old-ass armor n' shit
1 Find a mount be it a skelly horse or the shoulders of some sturdy skeleton, a skelly lord knows how to ride them bones
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edd838 No.9595
| Rolled 71 (1d100) |
>>9567
Skeleton type: Itty Bitty Skellie
Fluff: Oh boy! All da Gwown Ups are so scawy! It's ok tho, I gots my big-boy skellietun costoom, and i wanna go twickor tweating! Da Gwown Ups keep powking me and saying stuff like "I think that's just a kid in a costume, he smells like flesh, and he's too squishy to be a real skeleton." but odder skellie Gwown Ups sais I just has soft bones cuz I'm young, and I smells cuz I ated others humans.
They give me so much milk to drink!
Strength: none
Equipment: 5 milk
Bonus: can be thrown
Swag: training pants, socks
1. Fowwow da Grown Ups! Gonna go trickor treetin! Wanna get sweeties!
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edd838 No.9602
| Rolled 67 (1d100) |
>>9567
Name: Harold
Skeleton type: Old-ass warrior
Fluff: Harold was your typical Anglo-Saxon warrior. But everything changed when the Fire Nation Normans attacked. He was killed in the battle of Hastings and was given a tidy little cairn afterwards. When the skeleton war came around, he was at a loss. For one thing, he was alive. Sort of. For another, some asshole in a weird hat was shouting at him to go to war again. So, he grabbed his rusty-ass gear and marched over to the nearest foreward command post. He spends his time carving fancy patterns into his bones. He thinks it looks neat. Sometimes, he considers lighting himself on fire to intimidate his enemies. He's a skeleton after all. What harm could it do?
Strength: YEL
Equipment: some rusty-ass armor and shit
Bonus:
[confused: you have no fukkin' idea what's goin' on]
Swag: bone swaaaagggg
1. This whole thing is confusing. I don't even know what a skeleton war is. We're obviously the skeletons, but who are we fighting? I need to ask some folks some questions while I do whatever it is funny-hat wants me to do. If I'm going to war, I need to act like a soldier. Still helps to know what I'm fighting for.
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edd838 No.9603
>>9595
Oh, man. That voice is going to get real old real fast.
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edd838 No.9604
>>9603
you can always toss them
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edd838 No.9606
>>9569
>>9570
oh wow samefag much?
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edd838 No.9607
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edd838 No.9696
>>9569
You roar. Being that you are not a large dinosaur, it is not a large roar. A nearby skel says "nice".
>>9570
You let out an impressive roar. A few skellies nearby say "Hell yea!" or cheer and whoop. Today is going to be a good day.
Then some asshole jumps on your back and yells for you to go forward.
>>9571
You run, but not quite fast enough, and get conked on the back of your skull. You are unsure of how, exactly, you feel pain, but it's there.
>>9576
You strike a heroic pose. Some lightning crashes dramatically behind you, and the musical stylings of Hans Zimmer can be heard from somewhere. Then a Metacorporal punches you in the ribs and points you towards the column of skells jogging to some as-yet-unseen fight.
>>9578
Strength: u band skells weak as fuck boi
Equipment: that shiny-ass sax
Bonus: toot-de-toot-de-toot-da-tootaloo
Swag: Swiggity swaggity
>>9579
>>9580
You find a motherfukin' dragon. Aww yeiss.
>>9595
You get picked up and carried along by the river of bones. Someone tells you that you're talking like a retard.
>>9602
"It's simple," says a skeleton with a big hat. "They have milk and wimminz, which we need, so we fight them. You can either join us, or get picked apart by dogs for chew toys. Which will it be, fuckboy?"
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edd838 No.9707
| Rolled 47 (1d100) |
>>9696
Skeleton type: Lord
Fluff: Risen from his treasure filled mound in the valley of his ancestors his fury at being disturbed from the peaceful afterlife in the valley of kings drives him to kill the living and he does it well, in life he was a wise and powerful king with sophistication in many arts and now death becomes him.
Strength: 5
Equipment: some old-ass armor n' shit
Bonus: none
Swag: some old-ass armor n' shit
>>9570 "Mighty dragon! Roar as the skeleton horde smashes into our foes and drowns the living in death"
1 Shout and point at some skellies and gather them around me under my command
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edd838 No.9710
| Rolled 70 (1d100) |
>>9696
Skeleton type: Nameless Mook
Fluff: The Endless Ranks of the Dead aren't a menagerie of epic ghouls and timeless terrors. In fact, an overwhelming majority are just hero fodder. They're the cackling toadies, the hordes of bones and rusted blades that were reanimated to die a second time, hopefully living long enough to keep the heroes and defenders busy. This is one such mook. If it had a name in life, it was certainly not granted such a pleasure in death. But every necromancer needs his early subjects, every lich his waves of serviles, every dark lord his endless armies. Maybe this one will even live long enough to put that sword to use. I wouldn't count on it.
Strength: DYEL?
Equipment: one cheap-ass sword
Bonus: You're one among millions, so you have a million-to-one chance of being fragged by a fuckboi
Swag: just a doctor's note diagnosing you as swag-negative
1 - Gah, clackclackclack! No good. Gotta go faster, gotta hit em harder. Clackclack. Just like the bossguy says.
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edd838 No.9712
| Rolled 98 (1d100) |
>>9696
>Skeleton Type:
Super
>Fluff:
After being bitten by a radioactive skeleton/ingesting the Super Soldier CalSerum/Discovering his Cryptonin heritage/Having his Skeleton parents murdered after watching Jason and the Argonauts, mild-mannered Milk Deliveryskeleton Brian Bones became SKELETON MAN: DEFENDER OF SPOOK, JUSTICE, AND THE SKELETON WAY!
>Strength:
hella strong
>Equipment:
None
>Bonus:
2spoopy4u
>Swag:
Look at those fukkin abs boi you ripped as hell boi
1- What is this? A Dastardly figure hoarding calcium for his own personal gain?
Truly this can only be the work of the nefarious Pecs Luthor.
He's always hated skeletons.
To battle!
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edd838 No.9717
| Rolled 75 (1d100) |
>>9696
Name: Harold
Skeleton type: Old-ass warrior
Fluff: Harold was your typical Anglo-Saxon warrior. But everything changed when the Fire Nation Normans attacked. He was killed in the battle of Hastings and was given a tidy little cairn afterwards. When the skeleton war came around, he was at a loss. For one thing, he was alive. Sort of. For another, some asshole in a weird hat was shouting at him to go to war again. So, he grabbed his rusty-ass gear and marched over to the nearest foreward command post. He spends his time carving fancy patterns into his bones. He thinks it looks neat. Sometimes, he considers lighting himself on fire to intimidate his enemies. He's a skeleton after all. What harm could it do?
1. The recruiter has a point. Milk creates a stronker warrior, and skeletons need women to bone. I make my way to the front lines and see what needs to be done. If there's nobody giving orders, I'll sack and pillage human stuff.
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edd838 No.9720
>>9696
Winters, why did you reply to me with no response?
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edd838 No.9729
| Rolled 14 (1d100) |
>>9696
Skeleton type: Albertadromeus
Fluff: Alberta was once a dinosaur. A glorious, glorious dinosaur, in the dinosaur age. He fucked shit up, and he fucked EVERYTHING. But when those motherfucking meteors came, he died, and his bones were nearly destroyed with him. Nearly. His bones were sunken into the earth, and millions of years later, he was brought back up, and resurrected. After learning the culture, and re-learning how to be badass again, he decides to join the bone military.
Strength: You drink your milk boi!
Equipment: None!
Bonus: [shit! boy! fast as bones!]
Swag: None! A dinoskell don't need no swag!
HEY, ARE THOSE FUCKERS GOING TOWARDS A FIGHT?
THEY ARENT GOING WITHOUT ME GODDAMNIT SPEED MY ASS OVER THERE AT LIGHTSPEED
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edd838 No.9730
| Rolled 38 (1d100) |
>>9696
Skeleton type: Itty Bitty Skellie
Fluff: Oh boy! All da Gwown Ups are so scawy! It's ok tho, I gots my big-boy skellietun costoom, and i wanna go twickor tweating! Da Gwown Ups keep powking me and saying stuff like "I think that's just a kid in a costume, he smells like flesh, and he's too squishy to be a real skeleton." but odder skellie Gwown Ups sais I just has soft bones cuz I'm young, and I smells cuz I ated others humans.
They give me so much milk to drink!
Strength: none
Equipment: 5 milk
Bonus: can be thrown
Swag: training pants, socks
1. Woh! So many skellys! I wuv Hawwowween! Izzit time foh twick o tweets yet? I'm gunna gow find sweeties!
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edd838 No.9753
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edd838 No.9823
>>9707
A group of dry bones form up behind you, ready to follow as you lead.
+[homies: a half-dozen skellylads]
>>9710
Fleshfags! Alive ahead! Get them!
>>9712
Biff! Pow! Ka-alcium! You fly over to the fight, and are soon facing a dairy cow the size of a house! She lowers her head and paws the ground, lowing menacingly. The bell on her neck clanks menacingly, and for a moment , you think that there could be no more cowbell in the entire universe! With a start, she barrels towards you, at a full gallop, udders swaying precariously!
>>9717
There doesn't seem to be anyone definitely in command, but there is a monstrously fuckheug fight going on, with fleashwearers smashing at your lines, and thousands of brave skells attempting to liberate their brethren trapped inside.
>>9729
You don't quite make lightspeed, but you get there before the fight is over.
>>9730
Before you know it, you are catapulted over the heads of a dozen skells, and end up slamming ass-first into a man with greasy black hair who manages to say "O hai babOUF-" as you knock him onto the ground.
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edd838 No.9824
| Rolled 34 (1d100) |
Skeleton type: Nameless Mook
Fluff: The Endless Ranks of the Dead aren't a menagerie of epic ghouls and timeless terrors. In fact, an overwhelming majority are just hero fodder. They're the cackling toadies, the hordes of bones and rusted blades that were reanimated to die a second time, hopefully living long enough to keep the heroes and defenders busy. This is one such mook. If it had a name in life, it was certainly not granted such a pleasure in death. But every necromancer needs his early subjects, every lich his waves of serviles, every dark lord his endless armies. Maybe this one will even live long enough to put that sword to use. I wouldn't count on it.
Strength: DYEL?
Equipment: one cheap-ass sword
Bonus: You're one among millions, so you have a million-to-one chance of being fragged by a fuckboi
Swag: just a doctor's note diagnosing you as swag-negative
1 - [[BELLIGERENT CLACKING]]
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edd838 No.9830
| Rolled 10 (1d100) |
>>9823
Skeleton type: Lord
Fluff: Risen from his treasure filled mound in the valley of his ancestors his fury at being disturbed from the peaceful afterlife in the valley of kings drives him to kill the living and he does it well, in life he was a wise and powerful king with sophistication in many arts and now death becomes him.
Strength: 5
Equipment: some old-ass armor n' shit
Bonus: none
Swag: some old-ass armor n' shit
[homies: a half-dozen skellylads]
! "Forward!" Leading the skellylads to the fight atop this mighty skelly dragon
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edd838 No.9835
| Rolled 50 (1d100) |
>>9823
Name: Harold
Skeleton type: Old-ass warrior
Fluff: Harold was your typical Anglo-Saxon warrior. But everything changed when the Fire Nation Normans attacked. He was killed in the battle of Hastings and was given a tidy little cairn afterwards. When the skeleton war came around, he was at a loss. For one thing, he was alive. Sort of. For another, some asshole in a weird hat was shouting at him to go to war again. So, he grabbed his rusty-ass gear and marched over to the nearest foreward command post. He spends his time carving fancy patterns into his bones. He thinks it looks neat. Sometimes, he considers lighting himself on fire to intimidate his enemies. He's a skeleton after all. What harm could it do?
1. Well, in that case it's time to get to work. I'll free our brothers from their fleshy prisons. I remember being trapped in mine and not thinking it to be so bad, but whatever. I din't have carved bones then, did I? The fleshweavers will be cut down like wheat before a scythe, and be blown away like chaff on the wind.
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edd838 No.9885
| Rolled 63 (1d100) |
>>9823
Skeleton type: Albertadromeus
Fluff: Alberta was once a dinosaur. A glorious, glorious dinosaur, in the dinosaur age. He fucked shit up, and he fucked EVERYTHING. But when those motherfucking meteors came, he died, and his bones were nearly destroyed with him. Nearly. His bones were sunken into the earth, and millions of years later, he was brought back up, and resurrected. After learning the culture, and re-learning how to be badass again, he decides to join the bone military.
Strength: You drink your milk boi!
Equipment: None!
Bonus: [shit! boy! fast as bones!]
Swag: None! A dinoskell don't need no swag!
1: OIASFNHISAYGHSABDGAGBABDGBSAUGBAGSDNHUSFHS
FUCK ALL OF THE ENEMIES UP, HIT AND RUN MOTHERFUCKER
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edd838 No.9905
| Rolled 36 (1d100) |
>>9823
Skeleton type: Jazz Skeleton
Fluff: A skeleton with a saxophone and mad skills. The sounds of smooth jazz will fill the night air and backdrop the rattling march of the skellington army.
Strength: u band skells weak as fuck boi
Equipment: that shiny-ass sax
Bonus: toot-de-toot-de-toot-da-tootaloo
Swag: Swiggity swaggity
1. Play that mothafuckin' saxophone fam. Keep up the MORALE.
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