I suspect (and this is an anecdotal opinion based on my last two girlfriends and other female littles at muches) that women are less present online for a few reasons:
- They’re less aroused by visual pornography (sensory preferences, not a lack of sex drive as some may claim. More women jack off to written word than videos)
- Therefore likely to search for porn on the internet at a young age
- less likely to announce their presence online because of the attention/harrassment it draws
- less likely to need to seek out fetish sharing mates as most men will tolerate little play from females
Simply put, the risk/reward is more unbalanced for females. Why put anything out there if you don’t need to. Men, on the other hand, are very unlikely to find an ABDL mate without a slight risk of exposure.
My anecdotes:
My current girlfriend was 25 when she met me. She had a diaper fetish her whole life but never engaged online, even though she was aware of the community. She saw I’d listed diapers in my kinks and after a lengthy conversation admitted she’d always been too terrifed to actually try it or admit it to anyone. Very similar to my first ABDL girlfriend. She was younger. 19. The difference was she had engaged in little play with her past boyfriends, but because men are more tolerant of the kink, she never needed to find someone specifically into this. The guys just had to be open to fucking her with a pacifier in her mouth.
Also, I’ve found some women I’ve had play sessions with like to claim that this isn’t a fetish for them, that they just like to please others/ are used to it/etc. I think this is a cope tbh. Women are ashamed of this too