/abdl/ - Adult Baby - Diaper Lover★

>>35813 (OP)

theres a reason ab and dl are usually combined to abdl bud

>>35813 (OP)

I've known I was a DL because I've always been keen on diapers, and since puberty they get me aroused. I've tried out AB related stuff, even bought a pacifier and couple of onesies but it didn't do anything for me, sexually or otherwise. I'd much rather just wear diapers and do adult things as opposed to completely dress and act like a child.

>>35813 (OP)

>How did you know if or when you were a dl?

Since I was really little, maybe 6 years old. I used to love the diaper commercials and wished I could be a baby again, but even then I knew I would be considered weird so I never told anyone. It didn't help that Rugrats was a big thing back then. Also it didn't help that in day care there was a 4 year old still in diapers who would get changed by the care takers who was otherwise a normal kid. Even at a young age I felt pressured to be older than my age by my parents, and fantasies (not sexual) of being in diapers were the only thing that helped me get through feelings of having to grow up so quickly.

I'm in my mid 20s now and I'm fucked up. Never wore diapers because no privacy and no time, so I live vicariously through others.

>At what point do you consider yourself an ab?

I'm not sure I do. I'd feel to embarrassed or unsure how to do so. As I mentioned before, I've been an adult or at least treated like an adult since before I was a teenager. I don't know what it means to relax like that.

>>35839

>I'm not interested in little or roleplay or even a headspace it's really about the babyish clothing and diapers for me, so I kind of feel more out of place

I'd imagine that this is more common than you'd think

>>35865

Have you seen all the crazy ass drama and whining that surrounds this fetish?

That's alot of immaturity for people who don't like roleplay.

>>35879

I wouldn't characterize it as immaturity but rather as psychological damage. There are a lot of very hurt, damaged people in this fetish.

Might as well repost my emotional spill on how i got into diapers from >>34097

I was a regular bedwetter until I was 14. It wasn't a medical issue, nothing was wrong with me physically. So my single mom treated it as it was my fault. I know as an adult now I was stress wetting from the physical and psychological abuse. All the blame and bullshit mom put on me for her own shortcomings, but being hit and yelled at for wetting again just fed back into me being a more anxious mess; and of course more damp sheets. Which led to more yelling and more hitting.

My bedwetting was used to humiliate me a lot. I was pretty much under constant threat of it being exposed through snide remarks. "Everyone at school will see your pee stained sheets if you dont grow up." My mom isn't a healthy person or parent, she'd find reasons to inflict punishment to vent her frustrations. I was always hit and yelled at more frequently during a damper week.

Diapers were always a threat. She didnt put me in them, but frequently threatened to do it. They were never presented as a helpful solution to deal with a problem; but as a punishment. So of course I was terrified and fought the idea of ever being in them.

On top of the only other bedwetter I'd ever met during childhood had an even crazier mother then mine. Who actively did tell anyone who tried to be his friend that not only did he wet the bed, but bought him girls diapers to humiliate him more. He moved away when I was around 10. I never knew what happened to him, but he was one of the few kids who was an even bigger loser then I was. Kids teased him about his diapers constantly and I was terrified of being him.

It wasn't until I hit my teen years and met the first boy I experimented and became close with that I started realizing how messed up my home life was by seeing a "normal" family life. Teenage rebellion kicked in, a lot of stuff happened including a stint in juvenile detention, but I ended up placed in foster care because Mom didn't want me back. A councilor I had after a lot of work talked me into trying diapers. The irony is I stopped wetting before the end of the first package. But being a young teen I found another activity that felt amazing in my diapers.

Diapers are an immense source of pleasure and deep childhood scarred shame for me. I know it's not true, but deep down I'll always feel like mommy might have loved me if I had just been put in diapers. Let everyone know and just kept in them to fix my babyish problem. Now experience pleasure and humiliation through my diapers in a safe way is a cathartic experience.

>>35895

Wow. That's rough.

Reminds me of when I was young. I remember growing up, once I had to use the bathroom really badly. We only had one and my sister was hogging it up. I was banging on the door to get in and I ended up having an accident. My parents came and saw as my sister opened the door to show that she was just brushing her teeth, and my dad yelled at me and threatened to put me into pink diapers. Nobody ever did, but it's stuck in my mind. I don't think that's what lead me to seek them out, but probably is some amount of a contributing factor.

>>35893

>>35881

Honestly I like the "coping mechanism" hypothesis that one of the other anons on here came up with. It seems like most abdls are at least on of the following

>gay

>tranny

>autistic

>abuse victim

>bedwetter

>potty trained to late

>cluster B personality disorder (histrionic, bipolar, etc)

>incontinent young adult

>furry

I'm none of these. Personally I don't what led me to this stuff and I doubt I'll ever figure it out. I do think that since I was an absolute terror as a little kid and it kills me to think about all the crap I did and said to my mom when I was young. As an adult there is nothing I'll ever be able to do to make up for first 14 years of my life and how shitty I was. I love my mom more than anyone else in the world and even if I bought her an island it wouldn't be enough. I'm wondering if it has something to do with the "want to start over" and make it right, I dunno.

>>35960

I'm an autistic bisexual(more of a whore than bi though since I've never been able to get it up for a man but am dtf) who wet the bed until age 6. Though out of those 3 factors only the autism and bedwetting are relevant. I would constantly fantasize about being trapped in another dimension with a machine that would force diaper me ever since I was 5 when I had decided to stop wearing goodnites since I knew this obsession would eventually bite me in the ass if I didn't stop it which my parents allowed since I rarely wet

>>35893

>cluster B personality disorder (histrionic, bipolar, etc)

FYI, bipolar isn't a cluster B personality disorder; in fact it's not even a personality disorder, it's a mood disorder. You might be thinking of BPD which is borderline personality disorder.

I do think your list holds some weight though, I fit the gay autistic abuse victim parts, and I do think most people (not all) fit into at least one of those in the fetish. That said though, those are pretty wide characteristics and I'd be surprised if a pretty big portion of the general populace fits into one or two of those. Bedwetting and being potty trained late are pretty common, and child abuse is unfortunately pretty common as well. I honestly do think that abuse played a role in my sexual orientation and fetishes though, which did originally cause me some trouble but I've just come to accept that it is how it is now. I wouldn't say it's a security blanket in a traditional sense for me since I consider it more of a BDSM thing, but I consider bondage sort of a security blanket (or at least I think I would, too anxious about that kind of thing to have tried) so I think in a way that does apply.

Also, I'm curious, what's with these sites that everyone talks about but no one mentions by name? I hear about this a lot, but I realized I was into this at a young age and then repressed it until 14-15 when there happened to be more sites available that were about as above board as fetish sites can be. I don't want any names of sites or anything, just curious what was so bad about them. Were there a lot of old men creeping around preying on younger kids? Or were the stories just creepy and how so? I'm kind of lucky that I've never really been exposed to the darker side of this fetish (just the cringy side), but I'm wondering what everyone else is on about.

>>35970

>Also, I'm curious, what's with these sites that everyone talks about but no one mentions by name?

Same, I want to know too

>>35971

As much i want to tell you, that knowledge should be forgotten. It was early internet cringe that didn't have a filter and provided fucked up people the ability to do fucked up stuff.

>>35960

I fit Gay, furry, and clinical anxiety disorder (which isn't a cluster B one), along with a spot of social anxiety from being bullied in school, but I wanted to be in diapers as long as I can remember, even before I was ever bullied in school.

>>35960

Gay, bedwetter, abuse victim, ADHD, and former furry. I like pet play… but the fandom just reinforces the worst of the worst personality flaws.

>>35960

don't forget "I grew up in my mom's daycare and she gave attention to the babies instead of me"

I'm not that but I am autistic, have autogyno/bi tendencies, wet the bed for a while, etc

>>35970

>>35971

>>35972

> As much i want to tell you, that knowledge should be forgotten.

They have scarred too many and have already been discussed in another thread. See >>24822

It's likely that people who may fall outside those categories have a form of Oedipus complex. It could be that subconscious love for mother links itself to diapers and babying.

>>35813 (OP) When my parents "potty trained" me, they forcibly took away diapers and abused me, so my brain never disliked being diapered and ever since I've wanted to go back, so 2-3ish.

>>35970

>>35971

The big one I can remember was Deeker's Diaper Page. It had lots of stories and some fairly terrible art of boys being diapered. It also had some weird stuff like instructions on how to forcibly diaper an unwilling child/teenager, and a page where people could submit textual descriptions of real-life sightings of older kids in diapers.

I can understand why normalfags who had never even been on /b/ might consider it creepy and horrifying, but at least to me it was fairly obvious that it was all fantasy. The guy who ran it was an idiot and his site certainly didn't help the reputation of the fetish, but it's a shame it died because a lot of good stories were lost.

Straight, never bedwetter, small narcistic tendencies, never got abused. I think the reason why i got the fetish is because i got pottytrained very early and had to take responsibility in young age.

>>35997

I suppose it's not too bad beyond the creepiness level or the links that >>35994 talks about.

>a page where people could submit textual descriptions of real-life sightings of older kids in diapers

This sounds pretty fucked up though. I know that was probably mostly fantasy as well, but something about the idea of that seems very sketchy.

>>36012

sometimes I get tired of talking about fucked up shit in the world. You just happened to catch me at a moment when I wanted to discuss something else.

>>35839

ok im new to this stuff. who the fuck must not be named?

>>37260

https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Deeker

tl;dr: he ran a website full of stories and art with pedophilic overtones and crafted the site to groom young boys with emerging abdl tendencies. He was pretty active in the early 2000s.

>>37275

well fuck.

>>37278

You have no idea. For a very long time his site was the top result when searching anything related to ABDL.

>>37275

ED is almost as fictional and hyperbolic as Deeker's site.

I don't remember any part of the site trying to lure or trap kids. It was basically just an archive of shitty MS Paint art, fictional stories and "real" (read: fictional) stories.

>>37289

I would be inclined to agree, but if I remeber right wasnt there some sort of chat thing.

As a kid I never did chat on any site, and just lurked even on sites where teens were in a 'protected space'

>>35997

Another one I remember was yior. It had a forum(probably the first abdl community I found, was about 12-13 years old) just some weeks or months later the feds shut it down because apparently it had members uploading cp. if I remember the members was also pretty creepy.

>>37289

>ED is almost as fictional and hyperbolic as Deeker's site.

Onideus is that you?

>>37260

D**ker

>>37305

Beyond that, they were paying abusive fucked up parents to take pictures of their kids in diapers. His site was shut down not just for uploading stolen pictures of kids, but actively creating diaper centric child fap pics.

Really kicked me in the face at 13 that I needed to watch out for myself online. I didn't even realize when he started messaging me in the DPF teen room (a buffet for pedos at the time) that he was attempting to groom me.

http://web.archive.org/web/20050923225108/http://yior.the-cobb.com:80/

Want to guess where a good portion of his traffic came from?

http://web.archive.org/web/20050829190030/http://yior.the-cobb.com:80/

>>37309

No, you ~tweenage~ ~muppet~ ~fuck~.