I’ve always had a desire to be great. Even when I was young, and before constant bullying made it an obsession to deal with social isolation, I’ve wanted to be great, to be famous. The first memory I have was a buzzing in my ears. During nap time at Kindergarten, when the litany began to trigger, the teacher looked at me and said, “Turn it off.” I replied, “It’s my ears.” She looked away and didn’t say anything further. From there the buzzing became more prominent. Manifesting and genuflecting as I grew up: less noticeable in high school (in fact, it told me I would be famous at this point), abrasive in college (they said I was showing the starting signs of mental retardation, but in the third person so I would confuse it for projection). It’s escalated into demon faces since then; I notice them everywhere.
I just wanted to know if anyone else has felt this way. I describe it as a haunting.