/x/ - Paranormal

>turn a bible upside down

>read it from back to front out loud

>stand on toilet (running water)

>while high on pot, slice penis open length wise still reading backwards from upside down bible

>let blood drip into toilet

>flush while blood still dripping

>when the last of the water goes down the little hole, yell out

<SATAN I AM YOURS GRANT ME [X] where x is the thing you want

>wait three or four days

>when penis scabs over completely, enjoy newfound wealth/power/happiness/whatever

>>38280

you want to invoke satan or evoke satan?

first I'd recommend meditation and some energy work, then practice visualization.

you won't be selling your soul but you will be make an offering of blood.

for invokation you take in energy and for evocation you summon it before you.

both methods work but invocation is more to take energy while you can still also communicate through it.

I'd suggest after training up to 10 minutes a day for maybe a week or so on those exercises you should find the sigil of a being you want to work with. have a candle and light it, focus energy into it as you visualize its energy and presence coming into as you breath; ask the being for what you want then put some blood on the sigil and burn it. then meditate on the being in question for awhile.

Kikes have been trying to summon satan for centuries through mass child sacrifice, I doubt you can talk to him if you tried. Turn to Jesus.

Nigger. Selling your soul to Satan is a God damn metaphor.

>>38280

you can't sell your soul to satan because you don't have a soul, you ARE a soul, you have a body. God owns you, so you are not yours to sell either. also, satan is fake, made up by the globalists who don't believe in god while also hating them which is a contradiction. They are atheists but also believe in God just to say they are against god.

>>38374

hollywood liberal globalist satanic bullshit

>>38379

>Turn to Jesus.

just as satan is fake, so is jesus because they are the same exact fictional character.

All the proof to everything I'm saying is here.

>>>/fringe/120566

Well. I sadly see that nobody has any info to really help you. Don't worry. I'll give you a few pointers to sumun a necro and he (it) will pass your request to the dark lord. First you'll need a horse. Doesn't have to be a big horse, any horse will do.

Then you have to on your knees, middle of the night, all alone, a candle can help, also some napkins to clean up after.

Close your eyes and make sure you are close to the horse. Reach out with your hands and when you feel like you have the horse penis, start sucking like there's no tomorrow.

And that's about it. You're now a Satanist. Congratulations!

>>38425

the moment I read "horse" I was already like "oh my shit this nigga gonna-"

>>38424

Stop spamming every thread you fucking faggot

>>38466

I'm guessing you didn't do the ritual then. Your lost.

This is a real commitment, you know.

>>38466

you're spam, dr.shitfucker

>>38425

Sorry to tell you this, but violating a horse won't summon a thing, aside from cops. If this actually summoned demons the brony community would be the first to know, considering some of them do this "ritual" mentally.

Where to even begin with this faggotry?

- You are talking about a ritual from an Abrahamic context (Satan). The problem with this is that in pretty much all Abrahamic religions, the soul is not your property. It is god's property. You have no right, nor ability, to sell what belongs to god. There is no such thing as selling a soul.

- The image you posted is Baphomet. Not Satan.

- Humoring your retarded notion that selling of the soul is even a thing, what makes you think you are valuable? You admit your life is a mess, yet here you are on autism chan's most spergie board instead of working to fix your problems. Your inherent worth is in the negative, son. If he existed, Satan would be a busy man. He's fighting on the losing side of a war of attrition. He doesn't have time for your useless ass.

>>38585

STFU and keep sucking that horse's cock.