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/x/ - Paranormal

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File: 097a5cb32c85543⋯.jpg (20.04 KB, 640x480, 4:3, 131446.jpg)

 No.35207

i recently found out that im a vampire, so ask me anything

 No.35208

>>35207

How do you 'find out' that you're a vampire? Are we talking about actual vampires or faggy 'emotional vampires'?


 No.35210

Can vampires get fat by sucking too much blood?


 No.35212

>>35210

Clearly. Go a easy there,

>>35207

>>35208

What's an emotional vampire, mate?


 No.35214

>>35210

That's not a normal vampire. It's a grease vampire. Rather than sucking blood it sucks all of it's victims body fat leaving it with a bloated look that can only be described as disgusting.


 No.35216

>vampire

>not werepig

I think you got those two mixed up


 No.35223

>>35212

An emotional vampire is someone who steals emotional energy from other people, sucking the emotions out of them. Don't ask me how that's even possible, I just heard some girls describe themselves like that. You didn't answer my first question, how did you find out you're a vampire?


 No.35226

>>35208

>>35223

lots of research and questioning that (also bc i act like one sometimes)


 No.35229

File: df7788d65f9e293⋯.jpg (21.61 KB, 229x282, 229:282, 1448232936350.jpg)

Can ya show us your tits?


 No.35233

>>35229

this is /x/ not /8teen/


 No.35236

>>35207

Why don't you team up with this guy >>34837


 No.35252

>>35236

depends on his age


 No.35275

Aren't vampires shape-shifters? I mean, if you can turn into a damn cloud of mist, shouldn't you be able to make yourself look somewhat attractive?


 No.35279

>>35207

What's your favorite passage of the Talmud?


 No.35283

>>35279

Oh look, it's the "vampires are jews" meme again. Actual vampires take offense to being compared to jews, you know. Even monsters have standards.


 No.35284

I'm a 15 yo werewolf *rawr x3* wanna fuck?


 No.35287

>>35207

Time stamp faggot


 No.35301

Vampires are supposed to drink blood, not bacon grease


 No.35310

>>35252

Why care about age if you're an ageless vampire? Hmmm…


 No.35312

File: dbfabf758ec7c51⋯.jpg (28.38 KB, 491x713, 491:713, 1451876955279-2.jpg)


 No.35313

>>35310

Depends more on how old the vampire is than the other person, really. The body is ageless, but the mind isn't. When you're a kiddie, still within a typical human lifespan in age, you still think like a human. You still want to take 'partners', you still care about age, etc. After you've loved someone and 'grown old' with them, and watched them die while you were still young, you change. Of course, everyone matures at a different rate. Some go through this cycle a couple of times before their innocence dies. Some never seem to get old and jaded, and just keep falling for the mayflies over and over again throughout the centuries. Some are only after blood and sex from day one. Admittedly, warm bodies are comfortable, but I must say, the invention of the heated blanket kind of filled that void for me.

Anyway, as for OP, the picture looks shopped af, and even if they were a legitimate 14-year-old vampire, 14 ain't shit (if you'll pardon the vernacular). At 14, you don't know the first thing about vampire life. Doesn't much matter anyway, with posts saying things like 'i act like one sometimes', OP is either a troll or an edgelord. Likely both, I really don't care either way.


 No.35314

>>35275

I'd also like to point out that, while this post was a joke, it's actually true. A vampire can appear however they wish to appear, and many change their appearance on a semi-regular basis to continue to blend in. Some even change from man to woman and vice versa over the years (it means a lot less when you're hundreds of years old and can shapeshift, it's more like choosing an outfit). Vampires aren't exactly the most sociable lot with each other, so I haven't actually met very many, but one thing I've NEVER met was an ugly vampire. For someone who gets by primarily on charm and telepathic domination, there's really no reason to ever allow yourself to look like Blubberella.


 No.35326

You can stay out in sunlight.

You are not a vampire.


 No.35350

>>35223

>steals emotional energy from other people, sucking the emotions out of them.

Sounds like a wife mate


 No.35378

>>35233

>not 18

Neither is the OP, dummy.

>>35207

So I guess blood isn't low carb?


 No.35476

File: 6f1c2ae784207ea⋯.jpg (60.22 KB, 540x494, 270:247, 833513cc-7af8-41e9-bccb-7c….jpg)

>>35207

you ever sucked blood out of a guys dick?


 No.35844

>>35207

Are you a scorpio?


 No.35862

>>35207

In all seriousness, how does someone become a vampire at 14? And if she was born that way, how would someone go so far in life without noticing it?


 No.35873

Is it true you people drink the blood of christian boys on Passover? Whose blood will you be drinking on Hannukah? Why do vampires lie about the holocaust?


 No.35909

>>35279

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. or fat feminist chicks. interchangeable.


 No.35964

File: 70150eb774bcb5d⋯.jpg (336.21 KB, 592x964, 148:241, S71225-193825(1).jpg)


 No.36230

>>35873

>Is it true you people drink the blood of christian boys on Passover?

Yes.

>Whose blood will you be drinking on Hannukah?

One of the Choir boys has caught my eye. I'll seduce him with my magic charms and use him as a sacrifice.

>Why do vampires lie about the holocaust?

We don't lie about the Holocaust. We really were made into lamp shades and soap by Christians.

>>35844

I'm a Leo

>>35279

אסקיה לבלעם בנגידא אמר ליה מאן חשיב בההוא עלמא א"ל ישראל מהו לאידבוקי בהו א"ל (דברים כג) לא תדרוש שלומם וטובתם כל הימים א"ל דיניה דההוא גברא במאי א"ל בשכבת זרע רותחת אזל אסקיה {ליש"ו} בנגידא <לפושעי ישראל> א"ל מאן חשיב בההוא עלמא א"ל ישראל מהו לאדבוקי בהו א"ל טובתם דרוש רעתם לא תדרוש כל הנוגע בהן כאילו נוגע בבבת עינו א"ל דיניה דההוא גברא במאי א"ל בצואה רותחת

>>35284

*shows fangs and hisses* yes!


 No.36251

after much careful, delicate, high-intensity deliberation, i am now morally obligated to inform each and every one of you on this thread that you are a homosexual


 No.36257

File: c3714b4320a13b8⋯.jpg (72.86 KB, 599x800, 599:800, lit me.jpg)

>>36230

Good.

My big teen wolf cock is prime for tight Jewish pussy.

*Licks wolf lips.*


 No.36258

File: c3714b4320a13b8⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 72.86 KB, 599x800, 599:800, lit me.jpg)

>>36257

Fug, wrong box.




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