No.31840[Last 50 Posts]
>3 AM
>Have to take a shit
>Go to the bathroom
>See this
What do you do?
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No.31841
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No.31843
I say yo waddup in spider.
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No.31845
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No.31856
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No.31860
wonder if I'm dreaming about taking a trip to australia again
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No.31872
>>31860
burn it with fire and nuke it from orbit
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No.31894
>>31840
just another average day in straya
no big deal
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No.31905
give it a cookie (don't try this at home)
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No.31906
Buy a new toilet. Probably because I would've put a .45 round through the fucker since I carry my gun around at night.
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No.31912
Push it down woth a plunger, flush, take a shot
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No.31918
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No.31926
>>31840
>Trap it alive
>Contact an arachnologist
>???
>Profit
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No.31932
>>31926
>Trap it alive
Yeah, I'd like to see you try.
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No.31933
>>31932
Lock the bathroom door, call the arachnologist. Simple.
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No.31935
>>31933
It's 3 AM, the arachnologist is sleeping. And you still have to take a shit. Your move.
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No.31937
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No.31967
Get the dragon dildo out.
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No.31977
>mod deleted my post insulting you all for being pussies around large spiders
Hmmm.
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No.31980
>>31977
That's not the reason it was deleted. I freely admit I'm afraid of spiders and you're free to call me a pussy. The reasons it was deleted were:
1. It contained gore, not even spoilered (which is against the rules)
2. The whole post was basically just a joke about Indians shitting in the streets, which is a political meme (and also against the rules)
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No.31983
Use toy to call orbital strike
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No.31987
>>31980
>which is against the rules
It'd probably be beneficial if you put a rules page up then.
https://8ch.net/x/rules.html is 404'd
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No.31989
>>31987
It was up for months, but the recent hack has messed things up. There used to be a special page for board rules and now it seems to have disappeared from the settings. I'll rewrite it tonight.
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No.31998
>>31840
Hey. Spiders have to go to the bathroom too.
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No.32330
>>31840
>put toy spider back in toy box
>take shit
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No.32387
>>31840
take a shit on the spider
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No.32388
>>32387
Spoken like a true Fecalmancer.
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No.32548
>Change pants
>Try to wake myself up
>If already awake, go back to bed and call an exterminator the next morning
>If woken up from dream, change pants
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No.32718
Well, we have a second bathroom, so I'd go use that one. But typically this kind of thing is a sign from my guardians that I made an error in judgment. Maybe I don't really need to take a shit that bad? Anyway if cat-sized spiders can get into your house without you noticing, you're doing houses wrong.
If it weren't for that, step1: facepalm. Step2: gloves. Step3: broom. Encourage it to get out of my way. Spiders are cool so I don't want to kill it.
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No.34560
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No.34569
never take 40 benadryls again
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No.34848
>>31840
.22 pellet gun. Won't fuck up my toilet.
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No.34855
>>31906
Yep bathroom fun would wreck my toilet
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No.35416
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No.35475
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No.36308
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No.36310
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No.36416
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No.36696
>>31980
>Indians shitting in the streets, which is a political meme
How is that a political meme. First of all, its simply true. Second, that's a /n/ meme, not /pol/. Third of all, can I still crabpost and/or propanepost? Last, fuck you pajeet
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No.36756
Apologize for not knocking like a decent person and wait until he's done.
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No.36815
>>36416
>David Icke
…is a modern day prophet!
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No.37069
>>31856
This gentleman wins knows his shit.
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No.37071
>>31840
Hire someone else to photoshop a spider on a toilet. The fucker that made this missed a shitload of white space between the spider's legs and didn't even try to blend his edges into the background image.
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No.37230
Use the opposite end of a broom to shove it in the toilet then spam the flusher to drown the fucker
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No.38751
>>31840
That a massive shit on the spider.
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No.38789
Why to shit at 3 AM?
Eat fiber.
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No.40413
>>31841
Glad this was the first answer.
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No.40613
>>31840
>see this
no i dont
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No.40968
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No.41094
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No.41370
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No.41383
take out the flamethrower
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No.41399
Ask it how to summon a succubus.
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No.41700
>>31840
>Realize the web of fate one is. Proceed to take care of the problem followed by a good meditation session.
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No.41714
>>31980
>This whole post
You poor thing
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No.41716
>>31840
>adopt it
>name it Shelob
>feed it apefrican orclings
>grow it to full man-eater size
>strategically place lair for security purposes
Those sneaky, thieving hobbits will never break into muh property again
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No.41885
>>31840
>How about you lock the door, next time, Mr. Legs!
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No.42058
give it a couple stubbies and a pack of menthols
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No.42064
>>31840
In my experience, industrial degreasers work a lot better than any bug spray.
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No.46542
>>31840
tell him to close the door next time.
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No.46543
>>42064
fire also works well
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No.46546
>wwyd
Click the email field and sage a shitty 'thread' is what I'd do
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No.46691
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No.46701
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No.46702
>>46543
But just to be on the safe side, turn the spraycan into a mini flamethrower and do both at the same time.
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No.46884
>>31840
spiders take massive shits these days
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No.46885
>>46884
Are they in on the jewish toilet conspiracy?
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No.47303
>>31840
Unsheathe my pocket tissues and bring the arachnid somewhere safe(bedroom or study). Can't have it falling in.
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No.47337
>>46702
What I never got is what's stopping anyone from being afraid of their own shadow? What does the spider know that we don't?
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No.47375
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No.47589
More smart more safe
MORTINE
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