>>15644008
>register my phone number with the game because hey, that's a neat idea
>nothing happens with it for a really, really long time
>get a couple of emails inviting me to some events but they're too far away, not interested in going
>finally one happens in an area I can easily get to
>confirm that i'll go
>get an actual phone call from a real person, "Alright Agent <anon>, Agents Faglord and Fuckbutt are currently at 123 Fake Street and are awaiting your rendezvous at 7:00 PM. Intel suggests that we've got several clues at this location leading us to <next big story thing>"
>hell yeah this sounds exciting
>call my friend because there's no goddamn way I'm going there alone
>show up at a shitty warehouse
>get out of the car, the warehouse door is open, two guys are there
>they seriously look like they tried to be Neo
>both are rail-thin, wearing sunglasses at 7PM in the dark, trenchcoats, earpieces, black clothes, combat boots, the whole deal
>introduce ourselves with our real names
>"Are those your Agent callsigns?"
>"No, those are our names"
>"Yeah don't do that. I'm Agent Faglord and this is Agent Fuckbutt"
>"Agent Fuckbutt" is trying his absolute hardest to look cool, disinterestedly gazing around the room, giving us the curt "hello my fellow intellectual" nod when Faglord says his name
>suddenly he turns to us
>"You know, we were the first Agents to break the code for <earlier mission>."
>"okay cool. we just need to get something from our car"
>drive the fuck away