/v/ - Video Games

Because they can respond to you at any time while you're at home or online.

Guys, how can I stop shitting myself when talking to girls? Every time I want a Big Mac I have to specifically look for a male cashier or I'll be kicked out of yet another McDonalds for spilling molten brown spaghetti all over the floor. I just can't help it I'm sorry.

>>15636220

Performance anxiety. You probably feel like you need to say something infinitely witty and clever everytime you hit the voice chat button. Then you start playing like shit because you feel like you're trying to set yourself up for some kind of witty epic moment.

>>15636220

You're a faggot.

Because in most cases you can actually hear how you sound over voice chat

>>15636220

You subconsciously know everything you say online can be recorded and used against you in the future.

>>15636269

this too

>>15636220

'Cause you're flying blind in voice chat. For text chat, what you see is what you get. In person, there's so much nuance to facial expressions and body language that you can read a person's reaction without them saying a word. Voice chat is an alien middle-ground where you have no real feedback for anything you say, and suddenly communicating with anyone you don't already know really well becomes awkward as hell.

>>15636220

I don't like the idea of a third party collecting my information. I never use e-mail or phone for personal reasons. I also don't enjoy being rude to people.

>>15636257

This

>>15636307

You're in the wrong place lad

>>15636363

Like I give a fuck that Jim uses my shitposts for the Pisswater. I still call anons faggots anyways, but I'm never rude without a cause. Typing posts lets me be more articulate and thoughtful when expressing ideas, whereas talking has a pace that I can't keep up with, so I can't think about things meaningfully.

>>15636359

>implying anything you say is funny

>>15636257

when in doubt

>>15636486

Canada?

>>15636439

Just ease into it man, once you start talking it gets easier. I get that with every new person I talk to, until I gradually get dragged into a conversation. Although, people are faggots, so you are probably just better playing solo.

>>15636491

tacoland

>>15636896

If you're going there so often they're wanting to chat then maybe you should be cooking at home more often

>>15636359

>Having any kind of non-locked down online presence

Who the fuck tells people online their real names

Shit use a voice changer too

Voice chat is overrated unless you really need to talk in a game where it's sort of required like Rainbow Six Siege.

Because you take games too seriously, as if they were jobs, and you can't deal with responsibility.

Not trying to shit on you, I have the same problem.

>>15636942

you are truly mentally disabled for not even trying, what the fuck

beta males need to be killed for being a disgrace to mankind

Same. I think it's because hearing your own voice through your speakers is weird.

>>15636942

usually girls with pretty voices are fat

>>15637089

no retard, there's no correlation between anything with regards to female voices

ugly women can have pleasant voices and attractive women can make you want to strangle them, and vice versa

>>15636942

Women don't give a fuck how ugly you are. I've seen some really ugly faggots with hot wives. Only thots and gold diggers will care what you look like.

>>15636220

Being embarrassed about your skill level is likely the reason. Try a multiplayer for low skill players like TF2 or Fortnite, you will have enough 12 year olds to cannon fodder and up your esteem.

>>15637145

I used to watch Yugioh and Pokemon before school with closed captioning on and sound off

>>15636942

Either toughen up anon (go make small talk at least to build your confidence), stay celibate, or become a massive faggot. Do not do that last one you weak fucking nigger

>>15637127

This, sorta

>>15636220

Come on fag, let's talk. Someone post some random mumble server or some shit.

>third worlder none english speaking country

>learned most of my english from books and vidya

>mostly read and chatted, never talked, inner monologue made me think I had a voice like Michael Bell's

>turns out my voice was like a teenager who's hitting puberty

>having trouble stringing sentences naturally, always some unnatural pause or a billion "ums" or "likes" in it

>never wanted to voice chat again

>>15637145

>>still live with parents

Yes this is another big hurdle for me as well. I live with my Mom and she is desperate and eager for me to find a gf and move out. Every time I talk on the mic she would ask who it was and she would listen through the door or conveniently "clean" my room when she would hear me laughing too much to see who I was talking too.

After a few weeks of this I would tell people I don't have a mic. My Mom thought my headset was broken and legit just bought me a new $100 headset like 2 weeks ago from BestBuy. She said she didn't hear me talking at night anymore to my "friends" (online strangers) and thought my mic was broken so worked some overtime to get me this new headset. It hurts really bad because I don't want to tell her she's the fucking reason why I can't talk to other people in-game when she is around.

It is really embarrassing when a girl asks who is that in the background. I just tell everyone I'm watching TV really loudly.

>>15637320

lol I could see how easily this could turn on you

>You're such a fag

<No! You're the fag

>Nuh-uh! You're the biggest fag

<Well, you're nothing but a faggot

>NO! You're the faggot

<F-A-G-E-T

>Takes one to know one, queer!

We all know this is gamer culture but from the outside looking in it probably looks like you are flirting with your gay gamer lover.

>>15637269

If he hides from her he has a 0 percent chance of success. If he tells her he's ugly there's still hope, and she probably doesn't mind if she already likes him and wants to meet up.

>>15637320

>Anon, who are you yelling at?

>My internet friends. We're playing a game and joking around.

>Oh, okay.

Unless your parents are weird puritans.

>Son, why do you keep calling your friends a faggot?

>I-it's slang for cool gamer.

>Oh. Hey, son.

>Yeah dad?

>You're a faggot.

>T-thanks.

>>15637541

What was this comic called again? Jelly bone or something like that?

>>15637547

google skeleton jelly it should get you some results

>>15637557

ahh that's it, thanks.

>>15637486

it's not about what i say so much as it is that they can hear me, i'm a weirdo that way though

>>15637566

So what if they can hear you? Do you really care what they think about you talking to people? Would they really care, other than initial curiosity? Are you worried your parents will think you're weird for talking to people? Nobody cares when you talk on a phone. That would be fairly ignorant of them. Unless your parents are crazy, there's no reason to feel fear or shame.

>>15636896

But i like when that happens, get some small chat, a qt similing at me, even get "discounts"

Use it as an oportunity to be more social dude.

>>15637628

I doubt they'd care. People listen to the TV all day and nobody minds. If they do care, then they'll just tell you it's annoying and that will be that.

>>15637628

Yeah this scared me before but I got over it eventually and became loud and boisterous. My parents had to knock on my door and yell at me to shut the fuck up because I was laughing or joking around too hard.

The internet is a godsend for people like us, isn't it? I'm happy to have made some good friends here.

>Have a normal voice irl

>My voice sounds fucking gay over mic/phone

What the fuck?

I'm too autistic. One time I did and my voice sounds like shit online, never again.

>>15637398

You have a good mother anon, get yourself a gf and make her proud.

>>15636957

no ones that important in videogames. you are paranoid

>Multiple people have told me that my voice is very pleasant

>cringe everytime I hear my own voice

>>15636220

Cus you can't see their face or body language and you become hyper-aware of your voice

People who are chads online are a lot more subdued in real life, speaking from experience

>>15637931

For some of us it's pretty much impossible. In fact I'm pretty sure I can't compete, all the guys around me are so much better looking and most of them have pretty ugly gfs.

>>15637185

Sounds like some serious autism there, anon.

>>15636264

Why is the sound of your own voice so disgustingly hideous? or is it just me, because my voice physically makes me want to not speak

>>15638153

tl;dr, Because you don't actually know how you sound. Because of how sound resonates throughout your body, the "you" that you hear isn't what everyone else hears on the outside. This is especially true for men, who always sound a lot higher and girlier than we think we do, because a lot of the bass tones are lost. Not only is it jarring to hear what's essentially a stranger's voice representing you, it's almost certainly less pleasing than what you expected, because you've spent your entire life practicing a voice that nobody else can hear. Fortunately, you can fix this by recording yourself and practicing a more pleasing speaking tone. Unfortunately, that means getting over the cringe of hearing yourself long enough to practice it.

A similar phenomenon can happen with seeing pictures of yourself. Unless you see pictures of yourself regularly, you don't look like you think you do either, because your face is actually asymmetrical to a subtle but very detectable degree. People mostly see themselves in mirrors when they handle hygiene, which is the exact opposite of what everyone else sees. When you comb your hair, you're seeing the inverse of the hairdo you'll be showing to people.

Only difference how I act from IRL and VC is I say niggers in VC.

>>15636220

>tfw you avoid voice chat due to being self conscious about your funny accent

>>15638201

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the microphone. My friend always says how different I sound on voice chat compared to real life.

>>15638510

Microphones can be a big contributor, especially low-end ones, but even if you have an excellent mic, you still won't sound like how you hear yourself in your head.

>>15638425

hon hon hon

>>15636236

That would be cute in a girl but for a man is fucking pathetic.

>>15638637

are you telling him to transition?

Voice chat in public games is easy as fuck you don't know anyone and nobody knows you. Go nuts

Voice chat in a small organized group is a fucking nightmare. Too easy to step on someones toes and fuck it up.

>>15638510

>>15638550

The problem is, is that you sound different to people than you do to yourself in general. When you speak you're mainly hearing yourself through bone-conducted vibrations in the inner ear. What you sound like on microphone is what you actually sound like to other people.

>>15636942

she was probably a whore anyway dude

>>15637127

found an ugly virgin

The way you look is who you are just like your mind is you. If you are nice outside, then you are nice inside. If you are ugly inside, then you are ugly outside. That's how it is. It's 1+1.

I always turn off voice chat. You see, I let my guns do the talking. In before hurr durr teamwork, well guess what, I can adjust my tactics so that I can benefit my team without using voice chat.

>>15636942

the urge to sperg is strong

Correct way to go about it, start talking to her in a private channel regularly. Shave, eat heathily, shower every day, change your pillow every day, exercise every day for strength, buy some new clothes, and after a few weeks, ask for a photo, then send one of you.

You find out she is a bit fat, she finds out you aren't Adonis, and you keep talking, a bit more excited.

A few weeks more, you arrange to meet up somewhere to hang out or go to an event.

You meet, you find it nerve wracking at first to talk in person, then after an hour you both relax. Spend a nice day together, share a hotel room, cuddle.

Wake up next day, nice day, end up kissing at some point, back to hotel.

Sleep with less clothes together, you cup her boob.

Next day, same thing but she wants to see your dong.

You want to see her flange.

Dong goes in flang, then out, then in again numerous times.

Spooge goes in flange.

Sleep.

After a few days you go home.

Email a week later, she is pregnant.

You move in together, engaged, find a better job, son arrives 9 months later.

When he is 13 he is already banging hot chicks, utter chad. You tell him you met his mother online, he become depressed, a recluse, cuts off all contact with humanity, finds your old LoL account and envelopes himself in that, never to be seen again.

>>15638702

You can be totally nice inside while you're ugly outside, but no one will give a shit. Chads do however like to pretend that it's totally their awesome personality that's getting them laid everywhere because admitting it's circumstances they were born with hurts their ego.

Looks are everything, people notice them first and then filter all your actions through them.

>>15639042

>only shitty bitches care what you look like

Lolno, everyone cares about appearance whether they admit it or not. Being sufficiently ugly prevents you from even having regular friends.

Dude did a smart move, I got a girl to supposedly like me for my personality online but when we met offline she threw a shoe at me for being so disappointed how I look like.

>>15639082

Social media pajeets are instant proof that confidence is worthless, and these guys have ironclad confidence.

>get on voice chat and become very shy

If you're aware and fear the communication botnet Jews+Alphabet Niggers then you'll have nothing to worry about, being suddenly shy is a normal defensive response.

>>15637283

sounds scary

>>15637943

You're fucking retarded.

>>15637931

she sounds like a manipulative micro managing headache

>>15639414

Remember, it's always left

>>15638130

At least you didn't eat some girl's remains

>>15638637

>he wants his girl to be more comfortable around guys than other girls

Fucking cuck.

>Never use voice chat

>Don't often play online anymore

>Barely play vidya at all now

>Join Project Reality matches with /v/

>Game needs lots of communication

>Borrow mic to chat

>Someone later makes webms and posts them

>Sound really lame in one

>An anon replies to the webm saying they should stop kids from joining online.

>>15638130

Post YT video/article

>>15639846

>A man has problems to talk to girls = Pathetic

>A girl has problems to talk to a men = Cute

What's so fucking difficult.

>>15636307

You can make your own email server, although if the other person uses gmail jewgle will still read your mail.

>>15639982

>without the violence

I don't know about that.

>>15639982

Without the violence but also doubling down on the fucking disgusting lifestyle.

>>15639913

>moving the goalposts

>>15640017

No, you just didn't get it. And I have proof. This guy understood what I was saying. >>15638642

>>15638637

That's unless he's a shota.

>>15640049

Well, every 8chan user is a grown up fat autist for me.

>>15640063

im getting fat yeah

>>15640039

He didn't actually bring up a girl having trouble talking to guys though. Transitioning is trying to change your own sex. He didn't mention anything about undergoing therapy to become socially awkward around guys and confident around girls after transitioning. So, rather than supporting your new statement, he is actually working against you as an example.

>>15638900

I think genetic ugliness is a little less important than you think. Even being a little below average in looks, you can still take good care of your personal hygiene, skin, hair, clothes, etc. And that says a lot about you. Of course, being good looking certain helps tremendously, but it's not the end all be all of human interaction. Unless you're hideously malformed or something, then you should still be able to put forward a good presentation to people. If you look like a basement dwelling slob, wearing wrinkly clothes, who only showers once a week, then people will be put off.

>>15640097

Ok, this is becoming some serious discussion and I fear we are facing miscommunication.

Let's see:

>I have problems talking to girls

Which means he has no problem talking to men.

>That's pathetic in men but cute in girls

How would a girl be in the same situation that this man? Clearly he has problems talking to the opposed sex so in order to have equivalent situations a girl should have problems when talking to the opposed sex. Remember the girl situation is the cute one.

>are you telling him to transition?

It's implying that, by transitioning, he would become cute by not being able to talk to men. It's a joke obviously as transitioning would do jack shit.

Granted, I didn't said everything in an explicit way but I think if you had used common sense you would have seen what I meant because what you described in your initial post wasn't cute as you correctly remarked.

>>15636220

because you actually care about what those people think of you?

>>15636957

>Shit use a voice changer too

Or you can just speak with Ugandan accent

>>15637145

Parents aren't an issue, especially if english isn't yout first language.

Mine just told me it was good practice and to watch out for shady guys on the net, it was the year 2004.

Other people have been kind of an issue since I'm a bit shy but with a deep voice and since I don't get to practice enough to loosen my tongue I can't shake off this thick italian accent.

I often get told I sound like a serial killer, but I try and play it out for laughs.

>>15640262

ah the new patented hearing device with audio shockwave technology

>>15639058

I didn't know George Bush posted here.

>>15639982

>>15639082

goddamn poos never fail to make me burst out laughing

>>15640300

I didn't mention them at all other than generic enough descriptions like hair or eye color. I was naive enough to think back then that just as long as you're interesting and impressive enough it doesn't matter how ugly or handsome you are.

>>15636220

>couch co-opt and Lan Parties are great

>online multiplayer never ever forever.

I hate people feel like voice chat is an invasion of my privacy.

>>15640534

A golden rule is to ask if she ever has cheated to some of her friends. If they say yes, fuck off. She will do it again.

>>15640559

*Correction, chick I was interested in via the same group, but she met me when I was fat, only did the MMO route mainly because I didn't want to interact with any of the folks in that group et all.

>>15640559

>built a career

Of what?

>>15636220

Tox me bro. I'll talk to you with no pressure.

7FF20C62E3387333141A7E34249ADBCC8995AEDB52A78E29834CAD2382814A4812B54ADC33EC

>>15636957

What are some good/reliable/easy-to-use voice changers?

>>15639894

I don't have it anymore, sorry anon. It wouldn't be in english anyway.

>>15640262

>Because humans aren't made to communicate with each other without looking at gestures and facial expressions.

It's why emoticons became a thing. Then humanity improved upon the concept and reaction images and memes were born

>>15639705

That would have been hot.

>>15636942

Women who play video games are either bored housewives or whores who fuck for status rather than respectable things like pleasure or money. Females can't hold hobbies like video games, because despite being a visual hobby, which are innately feminine, it is also an interactive hobby, which are innately masculine.

>>15640955

Hang yourself, nigger.

>>15636220

Because you have autism.

>>15636236

fucking hell anon, just order like normal for fuck sakes, it's not like you are trying to date her.

My skill in dealing with people degrades in stages, and the reason is strictly context.

In order from easiest to hardest:

in person, video chat, voice only, text

In person, you can use more senses. People even omit smells and have "micro expressions" that your body picks up on and lets you better understand what they're thinking/feeling. Now jump from that supernatural shit to text where you can't even tell if someone is being sarcastic if they're upset, etc. It's horse shit.

Voice alone is almost as bad since you can say something and not know what silence means.

Did you offend them and they're mad? Are they laughing with push to talk not active? Did someone just stab them and they're not coming back? You just don't know.

You can't even really tell if someone is interested in what you're saying unless they're constantly giving you feedback. Same with narration. Like if someone stubs there toe, you can see why they said "ow", with voice you have to ask "what happened" or they have to say "ow, I stubbed my toe".

Each layer loses more and more context. Communicating with people sucks anyway though. Language is the root of legitimately every problem in the history of our species. Everything you think is wrong is rooted in a misunderstanding somewhere.

Fuck everything. Is this thread even video games?

>>15641251

>Disregards everything he said because of /r9k/ conditioning

Stop trying to turn everyone into genetic garbage.

>>15641282

>People even omit smells and have "micro expressions" that your body picks up on and lets you better understand what they're thinking/feeling.

I can't read any of that shit myself it drives me insane, I've more or less locked myself away at this point because I see people talk and can't tell what's sincere or not at all anymore, I could identify every fucking piece of body language i've ready about but then assume its not intentional in real life

>>15641304

the "just be yourself" strategy is and always has been absolute horeshit. If you want women to like you, you gotta drop all that 'yourself' shit and sit down and self improve in mind, body, and finance. After that it boils down to strictly luck, improving your assets just improves your odds a bit but you could be 6'2", fit, rich, handsome and "funny" but the girl you like might not like those traits and you lose your roll

>playing csgo

<Fuck you, I like it

>"Hey, faggot, nice wall hacks"

>All skill, baby, how about you git gud

>"Yeah, well I saw you prefiring around a corner so we all know you are hacking noob"

<At this point my mother shoves aside the pile of cum crusted clothes and Doritos bags blocking my door and asks if I wanna go with her to see my uncle

>HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING NIGGER

That's my only voice chat story

>>15641315

I'm all for self-improvement and it plays a much more significant role than even I thought before, but you can't just throw away everything he said just because of that forbidden phrase. The rest of the shit he said besides that one part is generic, but pretty handy advice to anyone who hasn't come across it yet.

>>15641331

all the other stuff said ignores "just be yourself" you can't say "be yourself" then include a guide to follow, then you're not yourself. You're right that I'm in the wrong for singling out that line but I will always believe it to be absolute shit that our parents and old folks told us because times were different. Modern dating in a way accidentally recreated caveman levels of survival of the fittest at least for men, with women having easier access to have multiple potential partners at any moment lined up a man has to work three times as hard to be considered worthy. this isn't some /r9k/ or incel shit its just how it be and men are partly at fault as well for creating this environment.

>>15641251

Confidence is literally being comfortable with the self and having a realistic perspective. I hope you're not conflating it with arrogance and/or godliness.

If you're one of those "fake it till you make it" people, you're inherently not confident. If you're one of those "act as if" people, you might make it if your goal is to act as the thing you wish to be, i.e. the thing you are. Which is just a pretentious way of saying "I understand myself and act as I would anyway".

Your homework is 3 years of introspection for at least 1 hour a day, 3 days a week. Don't talk to me until you're finished.

>>15641305

I can't blame you, we're basically living in the era of Poe's law, where the majority of people are getting by with self deprecating, ironic humour because they're all afraid of being sincere.

I'm going to make a hasty assumption that you're reading too much into it. Try stepping back and considering if it's even important for you to know if someone is being sincere or not immediately. Getting to know people at that level takes some time, and it takes a lot of experience as well as contemporary context to be able to do it instantly.

I get into peole's deep side pretty quickly by speaking and assuming less, as well as being sincere and fearless myself. If I don't understand something and it seems like it could be important, I inquire about it. If it seems less important, someone is going to say something more interesting in a second anyway, be it me, them, or someone else in a group setting.

Try and focus on what's important I guess. Or to begin, reflect on what's being said more than focusing on what to say.

Or do whatever, I'm not a fucking expert, and neither is anyone else.

>>15641315

>you gotta drop all that 'yourself' shit and sit down and self improve in mind, body, and finance

Ultimately, these are 1 and the same.

Being comfortable with the self IS self improvement in mind, which leads to self improvement of the physical self. Finance is less important in concept as it's just a construct of our current society. Prior it was less about money and more about "sustain" the construct. Like being a good farmer and shit, and before that, being a good hunter and shit. Less "finance" and more "provide".

At the end of the day, if you don't like youself, how can anyone else?

If you create some fake persona that someone else likes, you're signing yourself up for an actual LIFE of misery long term.

I have talked to enough married couples to say this with confidence.

I have sat and considered this long enough and implore you to do the same.

Remember that you are with yourself 100% of the time, you better come to appreciate it in its natural path. Someone else can appreciate it too, without it being false or manufactured.

The difference in mind, the "confidence" is the only difference. Self value, knowledge of the self, is confidence, as far as I'm concerned. Although I never use that word.

I want you to also consider how much you yourself value liars and phonies.

*pretend I kept writing more horeshit that makes no sense and has no continuity*

>>15641355

By following a guide, you're right about not being completely yourself in the sense of being original in how you handle a conversation with someone you're interested in, but it's at least a good starting point for anybody who has no idea how to approach this situation with a concept they have confidence in believing and using. Also, it still lets you "be yourself" by bringing your interests, traits and hobbies into the conversation.

>>15641385

>Less "finance" and more "provide".

To really sharpen the point here, "provide" is subjective.

Money alone is not enough provisions to some beholder. You must provide something else today, finding out what that is, depends on many things. What is the state of the world? What do you yourself want? What do you think people you like want to be provided with?

Money? A home? Deep conversation? Interesting hobbies? What do you provide for yourself and those around you?

This is the concept of focus, not simply finance. Qualities and merits of a person seem more important today than ever before as sustaining life becomes easier everyday for us all. What you must provide changes with time.

>>15641405

>What do you think people you like want to be provided with?

Now i'm just gonna muse a bit here because I find myself asking questions like this a lot, it sounds like /r9k/ nonsense but if you wanna provide something for a woman there are 40 other guys at any moment who can provide that same thing lined up on various social media platforms. I feel we've become a lot more expendable than its let on

>>15641432

I don't disagree with you.

I myself couldn't care less about finding a mate, so it personally impacts me less.

I like myself and am comfortable with myself. If somebody else wants to like me to the same degree, then so be it. I'm not against it, but I make no effort in striving to attain someone.

I'm not spiritual, but there are a lot of spiritiual texts out there that share my own personal conclusions. Such as wu wei, and stoicism.

I feel like it's very important to lack care in direction and just assume "something will happen" and be comfortable with whatever it may be, not try to think of what it could be or how to influence it (because you can't).

By virtue, this has lead me to have more people trying to get my attention/time than I actually can give. I appreciate honesty and sincerity more than anything else, and it seems like others do to, knowingly or otherwise. I have no fear because there's nothing anyone can do to harm me. If I say something that someone doesn't like, what does it matter, I am not trying to convince or impress anyone, I am simply doing what is in my nature. Some people will like that, and some will not, some may not care one way or the other. It is simple and it is peaceful.

By chance it's mostly males, or already women who are already taken that appreciate me for who I am. But again, I'm comfortable with this fact since I personally value communication anyway.

It would be nice to have a mate that will bear my children, but that will either happen or not happen, naturally and organically. Anything else would lead to nothing but turmoil and misery. I have never seen it any other way.

Look at /r9k/ as a prime example. They do nothing but pain themselves. Look at those who force relationships, they do nothing but cast misery on themselves. If it doesn't happen naturally, it may as well not be real. And if it never happens, that's fine, if it does happen, that's also fine. But I'm not going to ruin my mind thinking about it constantly, or working towards some farce, that seems like nothing short of insanity.

Obviously this is just my own perspective though. I'm sure some may disagree.

But this method of thinking has been nothing but beneficial to me. The root of it, ironically, began with giving up. The second I dropped the desire for companionship, was the genesis of my most meaningful relationships. It allowed me to be comfortable and peaceful as well, truly.

I think stoics would say "being content despite your situation" or "being content in any situation", this is the mindset, and it is nice. And when it is nice to you, there is perceived merit in you externally. But that is not the goal, it's just my observation in my specific experience. You have to find your own bullshit to work with. Sit and consider regularly and I'm sure you will. Reconcile with yourself and find out what is important to you before trying to find out what's important to others. Or some shit. I had way too much sugar and caffeine today to be serious.

>>15641315

>the "just be yourself" strategy is and always has been absolute horeshit. If you want women to like you, you gotta drop all that 'yourself' shit and sit down and self improve in mind, body, and finance.

Any woman you literally have to put that much effort into is not worth the effort, since they don't provide a fraction of the effort in return.

just be yourself i know is fucking cliche but it means be comfortable with yourself, don't hide your feelings, and likes. if you like something then talk about it and don't make it awkward , having an interest in something is attractive and makes you seem genuine.

>>15641506

women you don't have to put any effort into aren't worth your time either mind you, nothing should be too easy. I do feel the effort is completely disproportional even with "ideal" women and I always sorta blame the men before us for that one for coddling women too much, and especially giving women no incentive to learn proper hobbies

>>15641506

That only works if you're likable. People who need social advice (anyone but normalfags) should try literally anything but bee yourself since if that worked there would be nobody needing advice.

>having an interest in something is attractive

It isn't. Everyone has interests, that's hardly something impressive.

>>15641541

Having an interest in something is attractive compared to having no real interests. If all you do is play video games and watch TV, you should consider a more productive hobby as well.

>>15641570

this is kinda what I meant earlier, we need to have "productive" hobbies but lots of people and lots of women out there consider watching netflix and eating food a hobby but then playing video games or other less social hobbies are frowned on.

>>15641570

>>15641541

>Everyone has interests, that's hardly something impressive.

You would be surprised how boring people are

People have interest but they don't talk about it passionately, the point is to express that you are passionate about your interest, if you can talk about something you love then you can talk all day.

Only thing is people love to talk about themselves, ask questions.

>>15641552

What you want to avoid is to turn it into an interview.

>Do you like music

Yes

>what kind

x

>do you like x

…

Tell me about where you grew up, instead of "where did you grow up?"

Tell me about the most perfect day in your life so far

You spent a summer in Asia? Cool! What was that like?, instead of "How was the food there?," etc.

>>15641582

You do not need "Productive" hobbies, if you like playing video games that's fine if you like watching movies that fine.

everyone has different hobbies they enjoy it is up to you to be confident and not hide the fact that you enjoy it.

if you like video games you can talk about how fun it is and get her to play with you

If you like movies you can talk about what kind of movies you like and get her to get involved and watch it with you.

The point is to be comfortable and not hide your power levels and be confident. if you hide your likes and interests then you put a wall and have nothing interesting to talk about, all you do is say one liners like a robot.

>>15641600

>if you like video games you can talk about how fun it is and get her to play with you

now you're just bein' silly. Of course you're not wrong about hiding hobbies but even outside of games in my case none of my hobbies are what other people find interesting (games, drawing, model kits, anime) and I don't expect people to listen to me talk about them.

>all you do is say one liners like a robot.

sorta reminds me of advice my old man gave me when I was younger that when talking to girls you should only be asking questions to keep them talking, its only ever backfired on me though

>>15641600

Are you that anon who claims to have a doctorate in behavioral psychology?

>>15641582

Women and relationships aside, you should have a productive hobby anyway. Having the feeling of actually bettering yourself (building a real world skill, learning a language, building your body, making things) is an irreplaceable sensation.

The truth about relationships is that they can't make you happy. They can make you happier (or the opposite), but if you aren't happy with yourself alone, you can not be happy long-term in a relationship. I've seen it with friends and I've seen it with myself. If you aren't secure with who you are, a relationship will make you happy for a little while, maybe even for a few years, but you will always catch up to yourself.

Improving yourself and being happy with you should always be the goal. That is number one. If you can't make yourself happy, you can't fill that hole with somebody else.

>>15641582

The key is in not generalizing and directing your focus.

If you like playing video games and don't frown upon it, the possibility is there that someone else feels the same way, and you can interact with them and not have to pretend like you don't like video games, or give up your true hobby.

In my opinion, these people are more valuable, it's not worth bickering over what is and isn't a hobby, or trying to convince others or justify yourself.

If you like video games, you like video games, and it's no more or less valuable than any other pastime.

Even literal productive hobbies, as in a hobby where you produce something, can be seen as useless, it's subjective.

Like it's real cool you spent months handcrafting this wooden chair, but that really doesn't interest me unless you timelapsed it. Some people think this is amazing and probably want to hang out with you, and I bet you'd get along. Just like I'd get along with people who play video games. Get along EASILY, because it's what I genuinely and naturally enjoy.

You shouldn't care what everyone else thinks, there will be detractors for any and everything. Society is living together despite our differences, we are not homogeneous. There is a large enough group of people who share common interests with you that you can interact with, why waste time trying to appeal to the others. Why pretend they don't exist just because you don't regularly encounter them too.

If you really want to find these people, seek them out, it's better than trying to change yourself for no actual reason.

>>15641623

>games, drawing, model kits, anime

These are great hobbies anon You are making it seem negative.

>>15641625

women are not hard to figure out, Do not put her on a pedestal, she is either beneath you or on your level not above you. No woman is better than you and if you have that mindset then you can not be comfortable around her and she will not relax either.

>>15641654

>You are making it seem negative.

I don't view my hobbies as negative, when I spend time on them, even games I don't feel like I've wasted my time and can see something from it, I try to spend more time working out and my job can be hard on the body as well as giving me some skills so I don't think i'm a useless oror necessarily uninteresting person flat out but I do feel that these things just made me expendable socially and especially to women.

>>15641665

claiming that you build model kits, watch anime or draw is not weird, if you talk about it and say how you enjoy it then its great, if you make it awkward and backtrack when she says something negative then you turned it awkward.

>i like to build model kits

>lol isn't that something kids do?

>n-no its…

>i like to build model kits

>lol isn't that something kids do?

>lol actually it's a lot of fun, it takes time and patients and is a lot like a puzzle, do you like puzzles?

>(1)yes i do, would you like to see the models i build?

>(2) No You must be bad at puzzles, you have to try it out with me, who knows it may be really fun.

>>15641705

option 2 kinda sounds condescending doesn't it? I mean take into consideration maybe my brains just all fucked up but both those answers seem almost too much like answers in a game, feels unnatural to me

>>15641717

those are examples, you shouldn't repeat what i say.

yeah it sounds condescending but you have to learn to shit talk women, some of them enjoy it. it makes it seem as if you aren't trying to be nice all the time.

>>15641735

I don't really have the heart to be flat out mean to people

>>15641736

then don't, be yourself.

im throwing out examples. the point is if she says anything negative about your hobby laugh it off and talk about why you like it, if she's being cold then fuck her she's not worth your time.

1 grain of sand is not worth $10000 on a beach.

>>15641745

I guess I need more experience, sadly I haven't really made new friends or had new social situations arise in like 2-3 years now

>>15641789

start online

>>15641552

>René Descartes

No wonder you can't get laid.

>>15641817

I tried tinder to see what kind girls would view me as attractive but it backfired badly, not sure what to try next since I uninstalled that

>>15641888

>tinder

Im too nervous to try that shit in case anyone i know finds me.

dating apps aren't about forming relationships, they are about quick sex.

men and women don't even look at profiles they swipe left or right.

>>15638144

why didnt you just tell them you didnt have a mic?

>>15641890

>Im too nervous to try that shit in case anyone i know finds me.

don't even bother, it'll make you believe in the NPC meme way more

for me it depends on the game, like payday 2 i might consider it on big oil but most if not all the time i just dont want to bother because i dont have anything that interesting to say and i wear my headset enough when i play with my m8s

>>15636220

>Really shy on voice chat

>Nigh-impossible to talk to people in real life

Why this?

>>15641941

the thing is women are absolute shit at making conversation, they get tons of guys who talk to them and they couldn't talk for shit since they never had any reason to make the first conversation or pursue anyone. they think they are great but in reality are boring as shit.

even you just talking about anything you want, you are on a higher level than them or the quiet guy who can't even talk to her about his or her hobbies.

>>15641919

That's what I did, until I got figured out. Then I told them I had autism and didn't want to talk, and it worked out.

>>15641998

my condolences, buddy

>>15641998

Hope it gets better man

>>15641998

You can always be like one of those furry/bdsm fetishists that get into puppy play and willingly get MK ULTRA'd

>>15636220

Because irl you can see how they feel about what you are saying and can steer to avoid conflict

>>15642682

nvm found it

deadmau5 have you seen my cat

>>15642777

The only thing harsher than the backstab, is the celluloid on that bitch

holy shit.

>>15642794

but she has it all in the right spots, anon.

>>15642828

girl(s) lmao

keep being a defeatist cuck

>>15636220

IRL interaction inherently involves the entirety of your physical being. Your body language, your face and your mannerisms are all accounted for. Unfortunately with you and voice-only chats, you instinctively know your voice doesn't pass muster. Gain confidence by going to Balamb.

>>15642866

You're not d72862 tho.

>>15640796

If you're really that paranoid or insecure use audacity for recorded stuff. For live, I'm not sure, maybe OBS can cover you.

But even with a voice changer, a sock and a forced accent, some audiophilic pizza detective can still find out what your actual voice sounds like. If you need to save face for later in life, just don't say anything retarded.

>>15642432

Play altis life in ARMA 3 and watch people yell at you in broken English for running someone over

>>15639982

I should be such a man as these

If you need to communicate to win, your tactics just plainly suck.

>>15638145

y-you too.

>>15637127

yes they don't care that you are ugly

they care about you only when you are tall and handsome, otherwise you don't exist

>>15637302

>gave up something good

>a female gamer

I came here to laugh at you.

>>15649519

They do exist. They just don't like gamers.