bd837f No.14870756
You're now the CEO of whatever AAA company you like.
Your task it to come up with the most diabolical, despicable practices ever to shoehorn into your games. For example:
>All Ubisoft games will now have a DLC you can buy for $5 that adds an extra difficulty level, "Cinematic Difficulty"
>You can't die, levels get simplified into critical path corridors, enemies die in one hit and you can press a button at any time to skip to the next cutscene
aaf1be No.14870778
>Game has multiple endings all of them bad
>To get the good ending you need to refer a friend and convince them to buy the game so they can "help" you out.
>Bribe journos to tell everyone how this is a powerful message about friendship instead of a marketing strategy
45d79b No.14870781
Spend all my time trying to subtly shill them out on image boards by creating topics about them
fb1237 No.14870789
>>14870756
>an additional difficulty = more work
>only easiest = low incentive
Never gonna make it, you inject too much personal bias to be a true asshole, here's a better solution
>1 difficulty, starts super easy but increases faster than the player
>game is almost impossible around the end of the beginning phase, beginning of the climax and right before the final fight
>you can buy powerups to go over these bumps or grind a ton
>only singleplayer
bebb43 No.14870792
>F2P MMO with slightly P2W elements (Non-stackable 5% damage resistance that last for a few hours, that kind of stuff)
>If you kill a player with cash-buffs you can steal them from him, but you'll lose them in the same amount of time the other player had
>Mystery buff lootboxes with buffs that can be significantly stronger than the normal cash buffs and can also be stolen
9b15d7 No.14870795
Lets take a crack at Bethesda
>monthly subscription to be able to use mods and creation kit to create mods
>mandatory to use creaton club to find and upload mods, any other site gets sent a C&D for infringing on bethesda rights
>pay "asset fees" if you want to use other modders created works, modders set this price with modders getting a 10% of the cut while bethesda pockets 90%
>you can buy mod crates, lootboxes with a range of mods that you could potentially get, these cost cheaper if you were to directly buy mods but has a low chance of getting what you want
>base game is very barebones, actual polys that you need to buy graphic mods to even see any kind of texture in game
How'd I do
6e64d5 No.14870804
>You get DLC if you donate to Africa charities
>You get DLC if you vote yes for immigration
1d41bc No.14870808
>>14870756
>Every game is now a "Service"
>Have all studios adopt a female nigger or mudslime as the lead developer, to shield all criticism
>Nostalgiafag and focus all budget to not only marketing, but marketing within marketing
6cfb2a No.14870814
>Change nothing
That was easy.
9b6d91 No.14870820
>release anything with singleplayer only release on uncracked consoles
>offer a convenient and seemingly cheap subscription service
670545 No.14870828
>>14870814
I was gonna say this for Valve. Why change anything when you basically print money?
6cfb2a No.14870844
>>14870828
To give the impression that we don't already live in the worst of all realities. eeeeeeeedddddggggeeeee
333676 No.14870872
>sell weapons as dlc
>weapon parts come only in lootboxes
>weapons are extremely complex and close to realistic
>bolts, magazine types, firing pins, triggers, bullet types, even going as far as rifling etc
>speedloaders and jetloaders would be legendary drops for revolvers
>you only unlock weapons through lootboxes
>duplicates of parts you own only give 10% their actual value
a0badd No.14870879
>>14870756
>buy game full price
>If you die in a game it's done, the disc is locked
>you have to buy a new copy.
tfw Kojimbo had that idea a long time ago
908b80 No.14872549
>>14870879
>if you die in game your game dies for real
b0f5e3 No.14874384
>become CEO of Bethesda
>acquire TaleWorlds
>butcher Bannerlord to the point of being unrecognizable so that it's more familiar and approachable to the Skyrim audience
2efad1 No.14874507
The main girl wears a skirt and she wears shorts under it. Release a series of DLC that changes her to wearing various types of panties.
e6049c No.14874590
>Man the helm of EA
>Reboot EVERYTHING
>Add the… (((updated policies)))
a83c65 No.14874606
I can't even think of stuff more vile than some of the shit these studios already pull
6f4dbf No.14874722
Make the game very heavily depend on RNG
Make it f2p multiplayer
Pay big eceleb names to push it
You have to wait 1 hour to revive or you can pay 99 cents
There's a option for your waifu to admit they love you, only costs $5 :^)
episodic single player
ez cash cow
49eff4 No.14875046
>first third of the game is a paid demo ($30) like Ground Zeros
>Rest of the game is $60
>mandatory Deunvo/DRM
>must install an additional always online client along with Steam in order to run
>DLC requires mandatory Season Pass
>must have publisher approval to stream the game
>stream footage is always monetized to the publisher
7792ed No.14875130
>>14870756
>EA
>"Bolivian-hostage-style" marketing strategy.
>No games will be released unless the "market" pays a fee. And if the fee is not satisfactory, we only release a finger - just a mere quartered demo to make you pay more. No one will ever see the full game, since "the fee" to play get larger all the time…. Gyahahah-hah-haa.
It's already dead, you know how this works, right?
8867c5 No.14875173
>>14870756
Without looking i up, i can see that that is a jew.
c8952c No.14875360
try to make a good mobile game
when attempt fails, port to PC
declare bankruptcy
done
4083d9 No.14875498
>sell the company
>buy an island micronation with a mansion and internet connection
>buy a bunch of eastern european women
>maintain my harem and videogame collection until death
8aa91c No.14875543
give teh casual fuckwads what they want and rake in the millions
e392d0 No.14875703
>>14875173
I always assumed he was and never checked, but I just found the confirmation. Even wikipedia only says he's a rich man from New York.
http://archive.is/u82Bq - source
My submission to the thread:
>pick any company known for gay poz shit but not entirely dedicated to it
>get inspired by the special edition of Battlefield Vegana that's $20 for a man on the cover
>make a more expensive version or DLC of every game that completely strips it of faggotry
<This decision isn't that devious compared to how companies are already forcing poz down their customers' throats
Here's the insidious part
>don't try to stop the faggots and thots in the company from putting in poz
>why contain it?
>max out on H1-Bindis
>encourage every one of these precious street shitters to take out their frustrations on Chad for not being repulsive to white women
>ratchet up the price of the good version on every release until the real price point of the game is where I want it
>say double what it is now, $60 game with a $30 fag removal DLC and a $30 niggershine removal one
I doubt this would even be worth it, but it's certainly despicable. OP never asked for profitable evil.
cb2337 No.14875727
>>14875130
Isn't that already how Capcom does it?
0cd405 No.14875784
>>14874606
Then you aren't trying hard enough, here's one my friends joked about at the start of the Battlefront 2 fiasco (read: bad enough that even normalfags knew it was bad)
We'll use CoD as the shit show franchise and Activision as the artist of evil
>New CoD game
>prior to this send out feelers to figure out what fans want more of Era wise
>this is only to suck them in, Goodwill is for goyim
>make game but introduce the "even playing field system"
>essentially it's an in match loot box that adjust itself based on how you die and from what
>some asshole camping in a spot that would be easy to shoot into if you had a weapon that arcced? For only .99 dollars it'll be the pound for a you Euros =^) you can spawn up with a M32 six shot grenade launcher, perfect for those hard to reach campers
>killed by some asshole spamming grenadelauncher's? Even the playing field! You'll spawn up looking like a Hurt Locker extra, almost fully immune aside from a large spray of rounds or grenades
>Bulldozer wannabes got you down?
>Even the playing field! Not even that get-up will save them from a predator missile /bomb/orbital laser that even counts toward your kill streaks for free*
>not always accurate, but there will be idiots who will defend it for you no matter what, so Fuck it
>basically cash in on ragers and try hards who think "if only I had this I'd be unstoppable"
>and if the competition can't keep upwith purchases, people will claim it's because they either didn't get the right gear for the job or because they need to be better than the gear being handed out
>bonus pay raise if you can get a useful idiot to claim the "gear doesn't make the man" When it sure as hell does
See? The shit is easy when you put your mind to it!
79ccc3 No.14875834
>>14870756
>You're now the CEO of whatever AAA company you like.
Sweet, let's get to making good games aga-…
>Your task it to come up with the most diabolical, despicable practices ever to shoehorn into your games.
Create a DRM platform (With a bit of spyware), and release every game older than 10 years old for free on it. Also, include an option where you can download DRM free versions of games (But the installation still requires an online connection because…reasons).
3e5c10 No.14875878
>Bandai Namco
>Announce the next entry in the Souls franchise
>Developed by the Dark Souls II team
>Souls now cost real-world currency
>Upon death, players lose their real-world currency
>If the player fails to recover their bloodstain, all real-world currency is kept by Bamco forever
b401ef No.14876039
>>14870756
> Create a base game with at least two day one DLC packs which are bundled as different versions of the game– eg: Skyrim Dawnguard Edition, Skyrim Hearthfire Edition etc. You cannot combine different versions and must buy the entire game multiple times to play all the version exclusive content
< A "free" multiplayer pvp game where you get 3 respawns a day, extra are 99c
< You can up the respawns to 5 per day if you connect your Facebook account, giving them all your personal info
> Mobage shit where you can "check in" at consumerist whore businesses the publisher has a deal with (eg Starbucks or similar) via GPS confirmation/scanning a receipt to get rewards in game
< a free game targeted at children that gives rewards for running their bitcoin miner
e8db02 No.14876445
I would heavily cater to the lowest common denominator, but unlike my competitors I would find a niche that hasn't been explored much (like with Paracucks and their Grand Strategy games) and exploit it and oversimplify it, but I'd also develop a really good game for another niche or acquire IPs of cult classics just to release a very limited amount of really great tittles just so that they keep on buying the soulless ones and defend me no matter what, also known as the Nu-tendo strategy.
c8e388 No.14876490
>>14870756
>add in day one dlc
>include mobile ads
>include lootboxes to unlock maps, weapons, and modes, even the option menu.
>Those lootboxes contain non-refundable dupes as well
>add in DRM that revokes your license for offisite behavior
>add in DRM that revokes your license for IRL behavior.
81119b No.14876495
>>14870872
This is complete gacha and it's already illegal in several countries. Would be fun to see it hit the West though.
d474d4 No.14876527
>>14870756
We go full Star Citizen, duh. If it doesn't work, rebrand it and get a team that is marketable to make a skeleton then ship it as an early access. If that doesn't work, siphon cash and escape to innawoods.
b25cd6 No.14876613
>>14870756
>Diversity hires
>Jewish PR, finance, and marketing
>"Community Manager"
>$60 base game + 20 day one DLCs (and 100 more planned)
>Supreme form of skinner-box and addictive mechanisms to ensure severe addiction
>Game as service, 24/7 surveillance and legal spyware, if anyone shouts any bad words in the heat of the moment; instant ban and CIA is notified
>Scream racist and misogynist at any criticism
>Get rich from normalfags buying that shit
>Hire every prospect "diversity hires" in the world
>Hire every Jews I can for PR, finance, and marketing
>Gather them all in the monolithic Tower of Babylon-esque mega-building complex (built as the display to Globalism)
>Gather all the shareholders and big sponsors for a mega conference of the century along with the Jews and the diversity hires
>Flip the secret switch
>Gas them all
e8c031 No.14876617
> Sims 5
> Base game costs $80
> Always online account based single player similar to Diablo3/SC2
> Game starts you off with only one slot for a family (of maximum four Sims); additional family slots cost $5
> To have your Sims get jobs over minimum wage they need to have a degree which again costs real world money, though of course your first one is free
> Nearly all the content– furniture/building material types/haircuts/clothing/etc. is locked behind gacha crates. But not only do you first need to unlock it via lootcrate, you then also need to buy it with simoleons
> Your sims can visit other people's homes and the npc neighbours will _always_ have better stuff than you to make whales desire gacha
> to own a pet you need to buy a $5 pet license (per family) which expires after a month. If your license is not renewed while you own a pet, animal control comes and takes it away to be euthanized
> The same concept applies to vehicles, but rather than per family is per sim
> the (((premium currency))) "SimGold" can be used to buy Simoleons and vice versa, so everyone can access the same content without paying extra :^)
> If you "overwork" your sims they will get sick requiring expensive medical treatment, to punish players trying to get SimGold without paying real money
> the Sims modding community is monetized by giving goyim modders SimGold (aka hot air) for creating new content to feed the gacha cycle
> Buying DLC packs does nothing but allow you to buy a different type of gacha box, making the player have to pay a whopping three times for much of the content- first to be allowed to buy a category of gacha crate, then buying the crate itself, then buying the actual unlocked item with simoleons
cb2337 No.14876782
ffaf66 No.14876815
>>14870756
>Your task it to come up with the most diabolical, despicable practices ever to shoehorn into your games.
Already proposed several times.
Turning cosmetics into P2W. Matchmaking should rig matches such way that premium users who spent much on cosmetics get weaker opponents and win more than 50-50. Unlike in the P2W with OP gear in cash shops players would have difficulty to pin where the scam is. Whales will think that they are this good and non paying players will think the same instead of "fucking P2W gun users"
ffaf66 No.14876842
>>14870756
Another
Make boss slasher game. Dead by Deadlight theme. But more players and boss is actually OP and surviving is privilege not fair match. As extra flair make it in the Battle Royal like format. Make boss locked behind grind, ranks and cash. And give boss pass to every popular streamer. Players like to win and pwnage and with such game streamers would win every match and would be addicted to playing this game and promote its popularity.
038678 No.14877022
>>14870756
>some popular multiplayer shit game
>display commercials before each match
>players that have a Webcam and microphone set up and get up to yell "MCDONALD'S!" with their hands up immediately get to join match
>players that don't get put in some 5 minute long que while still staring at commercials
>???
>make massive ad revenue bank
7571b3 No.14877035
>>14870756
An F2Pay WW2 multiplayer flight sim game running on Space Engine with GSG elements.
You have a plane at an airbase/field, if you die you have to wait in a queue unless you pay some shekels or choose a different airbase if all available planes are occupied, destroyed or fugd due to lack of supplies.
Repairing and reloading the plane after battle is also tied to a timer, that timer depends on the amount of resources available, the skill of the NPC engineers and premium account status.
The more shekels flow in collectively the timer will be reduced further, there will also be benefits to the faction with more whales such as increased plane production and quicker maintenance even for non-paying players.
f0d365 No.14877075
>FPS with Dragon Age like RPG elements and Monster Hunter quests
>multiplayer only, connection mandatory
>game time is bought with tokens or collective continuous gameplay to stave the clock of doom
>basic area in the start which equals the noob area in other games
>3 Day 1 15$ expansions for additional areas or parts of areas
>all weapons get basic gray poorly done models, everything else unlockable with Tokens
>tokens are IRL crypto currency under control of the company with mandatory inflation "so it's realistic as in RL"
>virtually impossible to earn enough in game dosh to proceed, have to invest along with the monthly subscription
>hats everywhere
>employ players to set the narrative of owning trivial shit and harras them if they didn't buy the new model for xyz gun
>can earn currency by connecting your FB account with the game and post news stories and posts that are on the right side of history
>clans, groups and friendships are monetized as you have to pay each other to be their friends, bigger stat difference between the chars, bigger payment
Did I hit all the nerves?
5c11f4 No.14877172
Get ready to call me an honorary jew.
>$60 game
>You pay for lives.
>First 10 are free
>get 2 every 24h as a login bonus
>you CAN earn lives but it's difficult
>If the player choses to try to earn their lives the game increases the difficulty so they lose lives.
>if the player buys their lives the game becomes especially easy.
>Only 1 save per account.
>Can buy additional saves.
>saves are not stored locally.
>ending is DLC
>Always online with loading screens that take longer than needed so we can present the player with adverts
>Installing the game installs spyware
>use the collected data from the spyware to sell to advertisement companies (and Governments)
>Payoff Journos so they tell the public it's like an oldschool arcade game. (or harder than dark souls)
>Force unskippable ads on the splash screens every time you boot the game.
>Pay for different control schemes with no option for custom key binds and have the default control scheme be slightly awkward.
>Pay for basic graphics options and present them as "enhanced graphics mode" DLC
>Pay for Japanese audio language.
>Wheel of fortune Lootbox work-around because actual lootboxes are illegal now.
>Season pass is a monthly subscription service instead of a one-time purchase.
5c11f4 No.14877185
>all the female characters wear short skirts
>game camera can't angle low enough to get a view underneath
>$20 model viewer
a360e6 No.14877199
Why is this a topic?
You'll never come up with something more scummy than what EA has.
c78933 No.14877225
I pick Bethesda, I then procede to buy out as many of /v/'s favourite devs asa I can as well as fuck over Platinum and make lots of money because I live on pain tbh
c78933 No.14877226
>>14870756
Your one isn't Diabolical but rather brilliant
db5d42 No.14877273
This will be a space game in which all the ships are bright, cartoony, and attractive to children.
Long before the game is released, there will be major events touting the game's technical abilities, revolutionary design, etc, and backers will be increasingly lauded the more money they spend.
Gold will be sold at a $1 = 900 gold ratio.
Everything in the cash shop will be sold as "500", "1000", etc with no clear indication as to what the currency is. Some of them will be for gold. Other things, like the shiny ships, will be for cash. The information will be in tiny print at the end of the payment process (after you've already bought it).
Sometimes, special, ultra-rare things, never to be sold again, will be available through calling a special 1-900 number, which is attended by one guy in Bangalore.
This pajeet will also be responsible for all refunds, all of which he will have to "refer with upper management" to process.
The game will require an app to be installed to your phone. On a semi-regular basis (usually during school hours), a message will pop up saying "Quick, help us, Captain! Your ship will be destroyed unless you can log in now! If you don't have time, send us some reinforcements, quick!" Reinforcements will, of course, be bought with gold (or for major events, cash).
Geolocation will be used at all times. If you're somewhere else where you can spend money (a game store, a Starbucks, an emergency room), your phone will beep with new sales, tailored just for you.
Streamers will be given power according to the size of their streams.
There will be lots and lots of hubworlds, battle royale events, and other things in which whales and streamers can show off their superiority.
When ships are destroyed, for any reason, it costs gold to repair them.
There will, of course, be a way to earn gold through gameplay. Attending these "Earning Areas" will cost cash per hour.
Soon before the game's servers abruptly shut down and I sell the IP to Tencent and retire to Costa Rica, everything the whales had purchased will be sold at deep discounts.
0887a6 No.14877287
>>14870756
What is it about his face that makes it so unsettling? It's like I'm looking at a corpse that's smiling at me.
058f6b No.14877310
>Be SqareEnix
>Need new IPs
>Deploy drones to search forums and imageboards for small projects being made
>Emerge from the shadows of Cyberspace to offer them funding and support for their projects
>Nurture those developers until their projects are ripe
>Publish them all, while keeping up the illusion of "indie" titles
>Slowly keep doing this over years, while making specific choices about what games get this treatment
>Carve out niche market
>Release one big game that is a culmination of market research once every several years and rake in money from "Good stuff"+"Name Recognition"
I'm bad at being a CEO
9b6fb1 No.14877392
>PR hype a very popular game and make very ambitious promises half of which actually feature at all in the game
>Jew HARD on preorders and put a variety of unique shit in preorder packages to the point where a lot of content is actually locked behind preorders
>Claim that legally you cannot release these things into the game to everyone else because they were part of a preorder package (which is technically ubholded in Jew law)
>Everyone who preordered in fact bought themselves six months of subscription absolutely free! Isn't that nice?
>'forget' to tell everyone that the very first hours of content is bought with the game and that everything else is based on some ludicrous subscription service or premium currency that can technically be earned in game by grinding so hard that even Asians are impressed
>Periodically release 'updates' that you get forever (content that was already made for state release but was locked behind DLC) for a cheaper price than usual but the catch is that people who preordered it and are still subscribing can get it for free for a limited time, make other such bizzare moneygrabbing schemes and invent as many strange rules to your sales as possible for maximum trolling
>As long as lots of people preordered, you'll always have a base of income as they will essentially be forced to subscribe to play the game because they never needed to buy additional DLC and if their subscription runs out they lose access to all the 'updates'
>people who didn't preorder or subscribe to game had to spend just as much money as people who did just to get half the content but they get to keep that content so long as they paid full price for it
>Jew the most loyal of your fanbase and make the game as casual friendly as possible for maximum moneys
>marketing consists of diversity hires who only know how to make sarcastic comments on twitter, develop a cult of personality around these individuals in game so that they can shill for updates while they stream the game
>alternatively, demand a sum of money a streamer gets in order to stream your game, control them by making them sign an agreement that they can't say bad shit about your game and in return you can make them famous in game, give them unique shit and maybe some free game passes
>Continue to develop this social pressure and cults of personality to the point where it's practically canon to herald these people as gods
>when money starts to stop flowing, sell entire game to Ubisoft so they can work on your masterpiece with their finest guys in India
e8c031 No.14879744
>>14877287
Such is the face of der ewige Jude
5ccaf2 No.14879751
>release Star Wars Commando 2
>Sev is DLC
You want to save him, don't you? :^)
>release multiplayer shooter
>give option to buy cosmetics with real money
>paying with your credit card sets it as your "main payment method" and you have to agree they can charge for services to buy anything at all
>If you try to reload with no ammo, the game automatically sells you a clip, no indication in game that you spent money
It'd be like the Metro series, where you shoot currency, only it's the rats selling it to you.
>release RTS game
>basic units and buildings for everyone
>DLC gives you units that are straight upgrades and better counters than the base game
>non-dlc and dlc players can play together.
>multiplayer requires paying a subscription, no LAN because "cheats ruin player scores"
4d4639 No.14879787
>Make Half Life 3
>Put it up on steam 4 free
>Apologize for all the years of being Jews
>Force Gabe to voice the final boss so players can take their anger out on him.
>Fire the Firewatch team
>Split Valve into a Steam section and a game section
9d9040 No.14880279
New lootbox-key dynamic
Locked lootboxes drop in game
Cash shop allows you to purchase unlocked lootboxes
Unlocked lootboxes occationally have keys
locked lootboxes have slightly better loot
Locked lootboxes occationally drop rank 2 locked lootboxes instead of loot
Rank 2 locked lootboxes have slightly better loot than rank 1s, but you still have to buy unlocked boxes to get keys to unlock them.
Repeat ad infinitum, it's lootboxes all the way down.
4d9420 No.14880355
>>14870756
Continue the current course, cranked up to maximum jew.
>Chop the game up into smaller pieces, and sell as DLC, like the "Cinematic Difficulty" op mentioned.
>Actually lock content behind pre-order bonuses and limited editions. Didn't get limited edition? Fuck you, no full game.
>More SJW content with messages saying it's okay to rape white women and children, because they are "privileged oppressors who will kill black people."
>More Israel did nothing wrong messages and subliminal messaging.
>More propaganda and subliminal messaging telling kids to die for Israel.
>All digital games are "service rentals". You own nothing, goyim!
>Force useless shit into games. Example? Football Manager having random players coming out as gay. Yes that actually happened and it's why you should avoid the newer Football Manager games.
>Everyone white and Japanese are worse than Hitler. Diversity, goyim!
>DIE FOR ISRAEL, GOYIM!!!!!!!!!
92c54a No.14880401
>>14870756
>CEO of Microsoft
>Buy out EA
>create offhand military simulators for G7 world power militaries
>meanwhile sell heavily left-leaning games with plenty of DLC's
>invest in private armies and "armed security"
>aggressively take over other smaller development studios
>absorb larger studios and unite the entire industry under me alone
>use profits to absorb computer electronic corporations
>soon every industry owned by my aggressive monopoly scheme
>take over the world using online data collected from military bases
>develop media to sell myself as a living god
>devoted followers and modern medicine to immortalize myself forever
>still sell unfinished games regardless of the money I made
4d9420 No.14881221
>>14880401
DO IT FOR ISRAEL, GOYIM!
ec3391 No.14881255
>>14877185
Gal Gun charged $100 for "xray" mode. You're not kiking out hard enough.
5e03a7 No.14881336
>>14877287
That's because Kotick is actually an embalmed skin suit, in which several hundred rats occupy and operate it like a really twisted reboot of Meet Dave.
5e03a7 No.14881482
>>14870756
Every physical game I would publish would contain spider eggs, unleashing a plague of tiny spiders upon your residence. These spiders would cover every doorway with a single invisible strand of web at face level just so you could walk into it and get it in your eyes. The digital release would be more $20 more expensive and have a file size that is at least triple of what it should be. Those extra $20 would then be used to send a package full of spiders to your doorstep.
fa04d2 No.14881536
>take basic loot crate system used by CSGO, KF2, etc
>tons of different skins in each edition of crate
>keep the different skin rarities
>but now split the weapon into a few parts (receiver, stock, etc)
>quality of finished weapon skin is the quality of the lowest part on it
>crates cost $2.50 to open
So really it's the Killing Floor 2 crates but you have to get each gun part individually for the skin. That said, I think a system like this except where the boxes are free to open and you can mix and match parts of different quality for different looks could be kind of neat, but I hate the concept of lootboxes.
e6049c No.14881624
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>14881482
Spiders it is, then.
981e68 No.14881637
It's impossible to actually lose the game, or be good at it.
Anytime you fail to defeat an enemy or pass a puzzle, it'll restart except at an easier difficulty. If you fail a second time, it'll beat it FOR YOU in a cutscene. The only exception to this is if you beat it with no effort (which won't be difficult because even the "hard" difficulty is very easy), which automatically prevents you from getting the golden ending. Yes, that's right, if you're not a casual, you can't beat the game, and here being casual means you basically just let the game play itself while you watch.
e6049c No.14881665
>>14881637
Can I pay to skip the grind of making the game easier and just activate cinematic difficulty automatically? I'm very busy drinking monster energy and masturbating to cuck porn, you know.
67a072 No.14881936
>>14877287
That intense feeling of revulsion is proof that you are still sane anon, be grateful for it.
4b2be9 No.14881960
I would take whatever company produces the most weeb trash and forbid any and all exports to the West. I'd also sue anyone who tries to illegally upload or translate my work. :^)
043190 No.14882040
Just take the cult of Star Citizen and make it happen with your company. Get the idiots to even give you all their property when they die.
a032b0 No.14882426
>>14877022
I peed a bit laughing at mcdonalds
also checked
5235bc No.14882443
>You're now the CEO of whatever AAA company you like.
Do I become jewish?
157507 No.14882453
>>14882443
Naturally. Enjoy your newfound position as a member of the true master race.
a032b0 No.14882567
>team pvp game
>f2p
>literally everything other than starting gear is locked behind paywall
>lootcrates microtx dlc cashshop
>when player wastes money on item
>next game for that player, enemy bot player is added to game
>only player can see enemy bot
>bot name replaced by enemy player name
>seems like not bot
>bot constantly suicides to player
>player feels good about purchase, inclined to buy more
>player goes long time without buying
>gets matched against bots often
>same fashion as before
>bot has 200% hp 200% damage perfect aim
>equipped in most expensive items from jew shop
>player gets raped until he buys expensive items
>ez bot again for a while
>rinse and repeat
>kosher enough?
2dc218 No.14882570
>Make game bare bones with different preorder bonuses at each gamestore
>Have the game have an always online keylogging DRM
>Have tiers of DLC were you can only unlock the full DLC with the highest priced option
ddf43e No.14882690
>>14877172
>You pay for lives.
>First 10 are free
>get 2 every 24h as a login bonus
>you CAN earn lives but it's difficult
In korean lobby based MMOARPGs that is a thing. In Dungeon Fighter Online and similar games (Elsword, Dragon Nest, Kritika, Closers, Soul Worker) you get 3 free revives daily and you can spend real money for more. You can also get a few extra revives each day with some quests. Also those games give you 10 revives to begin with. Of course it is a MMOARPG so rather than ad bullshit you now have RNG boxes with costumes. The costumes have stat bonuses and they also have set bonuses for more stats. We are talking about stuff like 10% hp and other shit
https://elwiki.net/w/Ice_Burners
e6049c No.14883335
>>14882690
Actually, what does /v/ think about some kind of game where everything is free, no jewy microtransactions, but you pay 5~10 cents per life, and there is permadeath. The game is organized around some kind of muh souls experience where you're supposed to be afraid of dying. If you don't suck you pay 10 cents, if you do suck like most casuals do, you pay 60 dollars. If the game sucks, nobody plays it. Pic not necessarily related.
5a5c3c No.14883380
Sorry OP. I don't think I can think as evil as EA does already.
d4c4b3 No.14883426
>>14883335
i'd enjoy the return of quarter eater difficulty, but i'd definitely pirate such a thing
e6049c No.14883439
>>14883426
Most arcade players did, too. :^)
87300d No.14883448
Make a looter shooter or just a looter.
Have a shitton of different currencies/coins/tokens that you can buy from premium currency (one way only), make them worth a lot (10 bucks buys you 20 premium currency, premium currency costs depend on currency purchased, so premium currency vs Specific currency not 1to1, also have special currency only be available in packs of 4, 9, and 14, so there's always leftover/lacking special currency)
Make special currency acquirable through gameplay, but make it so low as to make it borderline irrevelant
Weapon rerolls tied to weapon reroll currency, armor rerolls tied to armor reroll currency, etc.
You can seperately reroll on every piece of equipment: base stats, special properties, look (model) and cosmetics (texture).
Weapon and armor reroll special currency costs tied to tier and an additive number of rerolls on that specific item(rare, legendary, epic, etc)
Pre set rerolls at certain reroll levels to encourage spending, market it as a "safety net for people with bad luck", have this setting be able to level up item rarity in the long run also.
Item rerolls for base properties and special properties scale with level, but have certain set levels of bonuses pre set rerolls, look and cosmetics roll randomly, but you can purchase a specific one for a raised but set price
Make items already acquired have lesser chance to drop, advertise it like pre set rerolls "safety net" and all.
Make the starter weapons OP when rerolled to oblivion, hire youtubers to advertise this fact a while after game launch, also special currency ties to character not account. Premium is tied to account, so pay up goy.
Make semi paywalls by making scaling taper off, so you either grind hard until you acquire enough tokens or reroll your stuff until you are strong enough to proceed.
Adjust difficulty to how much currency someone purchased so people spending a lot deal more damage and take less by default to make them feel powerful, while let non paying members remain relatively weak.
Special "unbuyable" exclusive currency for people who spend on premium currency (this ubisoft club points but awarded for purchases. More and more consistent purchases=more exclusive currency)
Have changing exclusive content (not acquirable in game, only available in the exclusive shop) for exclusive currency (items, pre set item looks and textures, even stat/special properties rerolls for certain items that modify it enough.)Players choose what to buy, but puah the fear of miasing out via unreturning/very rarely returning things.
From the top of my head, that's all.
aff0d5 No.14883472
>Games where the protagonist is in a relationship are required to have hand holding, head patting, and other wholesome loving actions between a happy, monagomous straight couple that are the same race (apart from human x youkai/monster girl/etc couples)
Diabolical from whose perspective?
554035 No.14883650
>from software
>release bloodborne 2
>make a marketing campaign about how bloodborne 2 now brings the arcade back to the home
>after a certain amount of deaths (including deaths during online play) you have to pay about 99 cents per 8 lives or you can't play until you pay, with life packs with more lives available at a discount
>shill how hardcore it is on reddit and consoletard websites until they start having dick measuring contests about how many times they died
>more "people" start playing the game just so they can post screencaps of their playstation purchase history on social media and forums, competing to see who has the least life pack purchases
>they form an elitist group in which they mock others who buy the discount life pack because "haha you know you're going to die" or something like that
>sit back and relax as the money rolls in
>when it stops printing money rerelease it on PC as the master race edition
>now with 4k ultrahd textures (which were actually upscaled with a filter) and steam market support
>leave cheating untouched so people lose their lives to cheaters when getting invaded
>watch as steamfags praise it as better than half life 3
>become a trillionaire
>start a niggercattle ranch and retire
>keep the liquid money but sell the brand name and assets to EA as a last fuck you to planet earth
8ea82d No.14884323
>>14875784
I'm sure somebody has already patented this. As devilish as this plan is, nobody would play the game because it removes all sense of skill. Why even bother if a kiddy with their mom's credit card can call in an airstrike for a $0.99 microtransaction.
ab3f8a No.14884490
>this is a datamining thread and all of the anon's suggestions ITT will be implemented and worked on in the meatspace
82344a No.14884542
>>14884490
Yeah, but everything suggested here has already been done, short of packaging spider eggs.
e39abf No.14884598
Amateurs. Let a 1/3 Ashkenazi show you how it's done.
>make game do bitcoin mining in the background for you
9d9040 No.14884630
>>14884542
No one to my knowledge has yet thought to incorporate gambling into whether or not you get keys when you buy them for your lootboxes.
05051a No.14885603
Valve Full kike edition: (technically a AAA company)
>Stop selling games on their own.
>Sell lootboxes containing 1 out of 20 games
>Users can't resell the unboxed game
>But they can buy a key that lets them select the game for 99 cents
0b7916 No.14885774
>literally release an 80 dollars movie
>it stops at certain times and shows a prompt
>if you press the right key it continues playing the mp4
>it ignores all other keys
e6049c No.14885926
>>14885774
Even better, just license adobe and get the intern to put actionscript in. Instead of paying adobe you just put adobe ads inside the movie.
09e67d No.14886561
>>14870756
>have decent to good developer groups at your disposal
>assign people under your influence in the places of power, but not to the point where your company collapses
>focus everything your company does on producing money
>naturally turn most of your attention towards PR management
>as a company strikes hundreds of deals trough PR development departures are underfunded when you as a company have obligations to fulfill by certain dates
>thus, cut development deadlines even shorter than what they were before constantly
>don't mind the firing or harassment of dissenting workers into submission
>end up with people that would have no problem to produce literally anything
>due to chemistry you've created - games naturally grow with most abhorrent practices build into them
>and they sell
>the last thing left to do is to speak and enforce whatever policies PR feeds you
Done. Good thing I didn't have to come up with anything, because otherwise this thread would be pointless, right?