>>927226
What is the wild thing? And, how wild is the wild thing? These are questions that virgins usually want to know. I certainly don't know. There is an odd stigma attached to being a virgin, no less being a 41-year-old virgin. Some have mentioned that they can easily spot a virgin. Now, how does that work? Virginity has to do with the wild thing. No wild thing equals virgin. Wild thing equals a whole new life. Or so I have been told. How about no wild thing equals monk? Being a monk means no wild thing forever. That sounds good to me. So, I contacted The Monastery and indicated my interest to become a monk. Naturally, the monks were excited at adding to their numbers. The life of a 41-year-old virgin is very boring as you can well see. It is the same old thing everyday. Wake up. Drink coffee. Read e-mail. (I had to put myself on some of those Listserv things just to get mail. There is nothing more pathetic than to log on and see the old "No mail" message.) Read newsgroups. (Although humorous at times, these newsgroups are getting to be all the same. One way or the other the wild thing comes up. Is that all people think about? Even computer nerds are obsessed with the wild thing.) Eat lunch. Lapse into a coma. Come to. Go to the gym. Listen to nonsense. Return to Roach Motel. Eat dinner. Log on for no particular reason. Reflect on being a 41-year-old virgin. Then, lapse into a real coma. Does not being a virgin change this? Will I log on less? Will I not lapse into a coma? Will I read all the newsgroups with a renewed vigor? Will I anticipate listening to the nonsense at the gym? And, what if I had a babe? Will that change the big picture? It boggles the mind, doesn't it?