/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

>>297552

That's a hell of a lot of ambiguous skin/fur, anon.

>>297552

Permanent wolf features. They simply lose control of their instincts at night.

Back on track:

>There are Wans, somewhere in the far reaches of the multiverse, patting their own heads and crying themselves to sleep because you're not there to hug them.

>>297572

Furries will have their own separate dimension that will be sealed, with nothing allowed to enter or exit until the death of all Creation.

>>297549 (OP)

Hey boy, aren't you forgetting someonewan?

>>297572

This seems like bait

>>297572

I would purge IT with utmost fury.

>>297572

Yes

>>297612

Thats one ugly little bastard

>>297552

How much hair is too much anons?

>>297657

Fuck prude mods. My post wasn't even breaking rules.

>>297663

What degeneracy do you mean they let stay up? Yeah it may take them a hot second to delete something but they do an alright job nonetheless. I see no reason to remove them without any real cause or complaint

>>297662

Yeah, they do that. It's pretty much just /a/ meets/ waifu/ here. Ain't got no stomach for /tg/

So Cu Sith is getting deleted now? Ok, I guess but I agree with these Anons

>>297657

>>297662

>>297664

Deleting that Werewolf was just wrong.

>>297682

>>297681

>>297664

>>297663

>>297662

Can you retards take it to a meta thread?

>>297685

Looks like it has a bad case of manface and a giant nose.

>>297685

>Can't have something actually monstrous for once.

>what is an ushi-oni

>>297682

The cu sith poster was shitposting he wasn't adding anything to the conversation, he was seeking to derail the thread to rile up gullible tards.

>>297659

>Story

What did I miss? Just migrated from /jp/ when MG threads went stale.

>>297692

Naw not really. I posted her because she is widely hated and wanted to know if >>297566 and >>297569 could still love her.

If I wanted to drail this thread, I guess something like nighound maymay would be more fitting but I wouldn't do that since I'm not an asshole.

>>297697

yeah the nighound posting is getting tiresome.

>>297549 (OP)

>were

The word were in werewolf means a male human. Wifwolf would be the female version. We talked about this in the other thread

>>297687

>Looks like it has a bad case of manface and a giant nose

JEWISH

>>297695

>>297709

Is this the chimera from last guardian

>>297717

She's based off a slavic house spirit that looks like an odd mix between a dog and a bird. She was adapted her into being a cute girl.

>>297717

>not knowing what a kikimora is

Lurk moar

>>297719

>spoon feeding

Dont spoon feed the newfags, it only encourages them.

>>297716

Are you dumb? Monster girls are the girl version of monsters from games, stories and mythology. The monster is called werewolf and so is she. Just like Lizardmen are called by their regular name.

>>297728

I like wifwolf better

>>297721

>lurk more

no

>>297733

>>297734

>somone will still take this bait

>>297733

"wifwolf" sounds silly and nonsensical, like a nickname you give to your waifu.

>>297804

It's the correct Old Germanic term for a female werewolf. 'Wif' is to woman as 'wer' is to man, gender specific.

>>297806

Is 'wer' the same thing as 'were', though?

>>297812

The second 'e' is a connective vowel.

>>297728

Don't a lot of people nowadays use the term "lizardfolk" though?

>>297685

She's cute. Would snuggle.

>>297733

I like the term wifewolf. Maybe it could be used in original material.

>>297733

>>297806

It's like using Gynoid for female Androids. It might be the correct word but it just sounds strange. also this in particular sounds like Jiffwolf

>>297804

Well, it's be wifewolf. Don't you want to wife the wolf?

>>297721

>don't help people understand and push them away

This attitude is how boards die.

We were all newfags once. Take others ignorance with a grain of salt, friend.

>>297911

Learn to lurk you newfag apologist.

Remember when one of the writefag was new when he started? Don't remember which

>Alarm blaring as I try to maneuver under my Rottie wife.

>Big German girl that had it in her mind that I was to be laid on top of at any chance.

>Sitting on the couch, she's stomach down on my legs.

>In booths at restaurants, crushed against the wall as she leans on me.

>And now, she is sprawled across the king size bed, with me under her.

>Try to move, get grabbed by the arm and a throaty growl.

>"Five more minutes."

>>297911

Nigger this board has been stable at around 200 uids for months upon months with this kind of attitude. It's not going to die because we told someone to fuck off and do their own browsing. Lurk moar, because no one should have to babysit you, you faggot alp.

>>297995

>TFW you have to work

>Wanfu demands you stay for more cuddles

>>297995

I might need a size comparison compared to tibetian mastiff wans.

What would cause a kikimora to go yan?

And does anyone have that Kikimora pic?

>>299176

No, but it's always good to add a kiki picture.

>>299178

There we go

>Showing more interest in a shoggoth

Then what happens if you have a roomba?

>>299179

It'll "malfunction".

>>299182

what if you clean after yourself and generally are a neat person?

>>299182

What would a kikimora do if you're really messy?

>>299195

>inb4 messes start "appearing" just so the kikimora could clean them up so she stays with you until you make her your wife

>inb4 she dirties all your clothes to make you walk around naked

>inb4 she becomes more and more obsessed with you, worrying if you'll find someone else

>inb4 she ties you up and has sloppy, sweaty, sex with you just so she could wash you and do it again and again

>>299182

"Malfunction? But I bought a 6 packaged deal last week. They may as well be good as new. I better have them checked while my warranty is still valid"

>>298324

>Boss calls

>Rottiefu grabs phone.

>"HE'S NOT COMMING IN TODAY AND YOUR ARE STILL PAYING HIM!"

>Hear a quiet, "okay" from the phone.

>>298928

>90% less fluff

>bout 15% less meat

>>299213

I know, right? I bought a dozen to help my kiki. It's sure to lessen her work so she'll have some free time for herself. And literally a week after buying and using them, they all broke. I think I bought faulty ones and should have them replaced ASAP. Good thing I still have my receipt

Update later, promise

>>299178

What's the context of this pic again?

>>299481

>>299213

I'm sure our kiki waifus will understand the importance of technology in a modern household.

Right?

R-Right?

>>299627

>That looks like shit

<It doesn't look like shit though

>Everyone knows the best thing about a girl is her personality

Guess that's settled.

>>299626

But Anon, even I don't remember having a kikimora. Or inviting one in my house

Or seeing one, ever.

Nor would security allow it…

And what happened to all my roombas?

Besides, I usually am a clean guy in the kitchen.

Why is she looking with her eyes like that?

>>299631

Fur is great and needs to be more of a thing on MONSTER girls. Better than plain naked human skin to me. I agree on the nose though. Even I think it's too big and pronounced. Needs to be smaller and cuter to compliment her face.

>>299633

That ain't no girl

>>297559

>>299636

<Fur is great and needs to be more of a thing on MONSTER girls.

But anon, she has a hairy butt.

>>299640

You worried about getting fur in your mouth?

>>299637

Very visible sideboob.

>>299636

Still looks like shit, western artists cant get it right, because they have to pander to futafags which don't demand better quality art.

>>299646

Now you're talking about a whole other issue.

>>299645

>You worried about getting fur in your mouth?

Of course, anon. It's a lot better to be able to actually lick and fully notice the jiggle on an ass.

>>299645

The problem is not fur, the problem is too much of a good thing. It's a slippery slope when we're asking for more animal qualities on monster girls and your post is basically on the line between monster and girl. The animal parts are supposed to be a fun addition, not what the girls actually are.

>>299648

yeah its an issue that makes western art, shit.

Because the hugbox mentality, which makes kikenosed abominations show up where they don't need to.

>>299659

Yeah but there's times when just simple 'cosplay' like accessories just aren't enough. And instead of trying to balance the two together in coexistence, most of /monster/ will simply dogpile on the more animalistic looks to the point that no one can talk about it.

Sage for offtopic of course.

>>299636

Kill yourself /furry/, preferably in a way that you can livecam your suffering to the world because we need to be entertained while you die.

>>299702

Back to /roachpol/, edgelord.

>>299706

Just report and ignore. This place has really gone through some bad times and attracted bad people.

>>299708

> pls dont bully me.

yeah whatever.

>>299706

Here's your (you). Now you can off yourself without regrets.

>>299708

>Failing at shilling for furries

>Tries to blame the board going to hell in DNC

>/monster/ apparently attracting faggots

Maybe you're right. You and the other chode licker found this place.

>>299739

Learn to sage your shit you turbonigger

>>299739

that american looks unusual

>>299971

I don't know what you are talking about, he looks like the average white American to me.

>>300125

>Dat ass

>Dem tiddies

>The body suit

<The trigger discipline

My lap top is in the ceiling, posting on phone.

disregarding all these dirty kikiposters, where is my kobold content?

>>300199

>Kikiposters

>Dirty

Kikis are best. BEST

>>300202

>Adeptus Astartes

>not Ancilla Astartes

Triggered

>>300202

If kikis are space marines, what is the mg equivalent of Sisters of battle?

Is it brothers of battle

Codenamed

B.o.B.

>>300491

Anon, that's because you can't have too many kikis.

>”You’re no fun, you know that?” she said, going to her room, pulling my hand

“I forgot what it’s like to have fun since indoctrination.”

>”Indoctrinatio-?”

“Forget it. Can you take care of yourself?” I ask, hand on my hips.

>”Well, yeah, Anon. But I can’t say the same for you. Don’t treat me like a child.”

“Then stop acting like one.” I said, as I felt some blood trickle down my eye.

>”Seriously, Anon. At least let me help you fix that.”

“Look, Skittles” I said, rubbing my eye. “I can do it myself.”

>”B-but I can help. I can… treat… uh…” she continued mumbling, looking uneasy. “C-can you… teach me?”

“Teach you?” I said, stopping by the door.

>”I… wanna know how to help people, fix stuff. You know?”

“Don’t you know any basic first aid?” I ask, raising an eyebrow

>”I don’t know, never learned it.”

“CPR, Check for pulse, Applying pressure to a wound?”

>”OOOH!” she cheered

“So you know?”

>”I saw some of that stuff on TV. You know, like S.S.I. New Zipangu?”

“SSI?”

>”Spirit Scene Investigation?”

“Don’t know that, but what’s your point?”

>“I can treat you, or at least, try. All I gotta do is get some more tar and-”

“No. No more tar. I’ll do this the old fashioned way.”

>”Old fashioned?” she said, prepping herself with towels.

“You know, bandages, hydrogen peroxide, cotton balls, basic sanitary equipment?”

>She just stared at me, like a toddler who I just said big words to, scratching her head and looked down on the ground while rubbing her legs.

“Do you know anything about basic first aid that isn’t an ‘Insta-cure’ for everything?”

>”Stop treating me like an idiot, anon. They’re just, unfamiliar words to me…” she said, hugging the towel.

>Before I could let out a sigh, I felt a small trickle of blood drip once more on my cheek, rubbing it to feel its sticky composure.

“Anyway, go get dressed. We’re heading off to school soon, and I still have to get ready.”

>”With my breakfast?” she cheered, going to the bathroom.

“Obviously.” I said, taking my clean clothes and leaving the door.

>”Alright, See ya then anon!” she bid, as I went on walking down

>After moments of silence finally filled the room, I couldn’t help but think about what I saw. The very same hallways I walked were no longer red and brown, but rather, a pearl and blue. No longer was it bloodied and decayed, but rather clean and shiny.

>The hall didn’t even feel constrictive like last time. This time, I managed to see the end of it. I at least saw the walls change as I walked, different doors, furniture, and rooms. At least it felt different, as sunlight slowly filled the room.

>Maybe I just needed a shower to clear my head. Water does a wound good, and the headache hurts. It’d also be nice to help forget.

>Without paying attention, I nearly walked past Agnes’ door. I stopped myself, looking at the wooden carves and shiny handle. It looked, more reflective than any other, like it was recently polished without a single bit of dirt…

>Maybe I should check up on her. Maybe I should see if I woke her up by accident from my episode…

>Or maybe I didn’t disturb her at all, and I will just make things worse. Maybe she’ll be annoyed if I wake her, or Erika. Maybe she’d be to worried when I tell her about my troubles. Maybe she’ll hate me for pouring it out on her.

>But maybe it might get worse if I bottle it up. Maybe I should just be… sure.

>I couldn’t help myself, I slowly reached my hand on the knob, but stopped before I could turn it.

>What if she already has a lot on her neck and I’m just making it worse? What will the little ones think of me? What will Erika think of me? As a person with problems, no doubt. She’ll refuse to let me get near any of them.

*Ring* came a sound from behind the door.

>>300990

Please stop posting furries.

>>300991

Please stop being a faggot.

>>300989

Yay updates.

Also, We have a pastebin or archive of the other threads right?

>>300992

What makes polt's nose not a snout?

>>300991

>getting triggered by polt.

Not even /mgg/ back on 4chan gets triggered by polt. You must be a newfag from reddit.

>>297636

ANTISEMITE!

>>300991

>Owns business that contributes to health and well being of others

>Keeps herself in good shape

>Is wantastic and helps others outside of business if needed

Sure as shit doesn't sound like any furry I know. Back to reddit with your pedantic rule interpretations and desires for mods to make your safe spaces comfy.

>>301006

The button nose is to close to furry

>>302403

https://pastebin.com/3hsNvHRw

Here's SlavAnon number 5

I need kikis. Show me some more comfy kikis.

>>302403

Seriously, where is that webm from?

>>302473

A small dog nose is fine. It's not a full snout so it's not furry levels. How long are we gonna keep getting triggered over this?

>>302473

oh please, just fuck back off to whatever board you came from. Its just a darkened nose.

>>302473

not a furry

t. furfag

>>302476

>A small dog nose is fine. It's not a full snout so it's not furry levels

This is what closet fur-fags actually believe

>>302509

stop wasting peoples time faggot, if you get triggered by polt and mithra then you're a filthy fucking redditor who blew in during the election. So stop trying to hard and fuck off.

>>302523

>jerks it to drawings with of girls with fur and animal parts

>gets triggered by nose color because too furry

i bet you're as secure as a master lock on a balsa door

>>299179

Better keep that receipt there buddy. As you're going to find it looking like it tripped a landmine.

>>299621

I hope you have your emergency Safety Vest and gun then.

>>300990

Hope you got the stamina for it as well she will test you out and build it up for you.

>>300991

GTFO you turbonigger of a newfag and don't ever return

>>302434

>Insert P5 Down + Weak effect

Dammit I can't go to work with this raging boner!

>>303957

Meticulously assembles lego kits, then once they're finished just as carefully disassembles them and returns them back to their bags and boxes to be neatly packed away.

>>303957

>Kiki-bis/Anuki

>Anubis raised in a kiki household

>Bosses you to get ready and go to work and tells you how to be more efficient in your job if you follow her plan

>Cleans the house while you're away out of habit with the OCD nature of an anubis.

>Showers you with love and kisses and food when you get home

>Marks off her checklist and finalizes it with giving you dinner.

>At the end of the day, you two just sit and rest on the couch together, watching your favorite movies.

>Fall asleep holding hands, first with the anuki protesting that you should be doing it in bed as per schedule

>Stops resisting as she falls asleep in your arms on the couch while holding hands, as she slowly loosens her grip and drops her checklist just so she can wrap her now free arm around you.

>First and Last pic

>tfw no kiki to rub my head when stressed

>tfw no kiki to shyly show herself but still be insisted not to be ashamed.

>tfw no kiki to wake up to in the morning then pull her back in bed on a lazy sunday

Kikis are too perfect

>>300989

>Not worth it, she might think I’m a creep. It would only be minutes before she would try for the door, and see some big sweaty guy with a small cut on his forehead staring at her.

>Just shower, get ready, and start the new routine.

>Quietly, I rushed to the bathrooms, hoping I wouldn’t even wake up any of the little ones. After I opened the bathroom door, I grabbed some medication from the small cabinet, took out some cotton, and some medicine.

“Who would’ve thought this thing would be outdated in a few decades?” I thought to myself as I treated the cut. “Who would’ve thought that something this classic and effective gets replaced under a new rule? And who would’ve thought that sticky black tar outdoes years of medical research?”

>I went to my personal stall after wiping the last of the ointment, and let the hot water run as I undressed myself. Even under my own privacy, I still had this feeling that I was not alone, like I was being watched.

>As water trickled down my face, I felt my eyes grow heavy, as though gravity was forcing them off and I felt pain. I rubbed my eyes as it worsened, as well as letting my nose feel itchy and irritated.

>I rubbed my eyes once more and felt more water come out. But it was different. It was warmer, and the texture was something else. It definitely felt like it was coming from my eyes.

>It just kept getting irritated, like it was pouring slowly

>Was I… crying? I felt myself sniffle, and throat weak.

>But I can’t do that. It’s impossible. I was trained out. I’m stronger than that, I was certain that it couldn’t have been anything.

>It still didn’t stop me from rubbing though, as vision blurred and the water kept running.

>But as my vision came through, I took a closer look at my wet fingers, hoping to differentiate between tears and water.

>But something went wrong

>In a twitch, I swore I saw nothing but red. Red dripping from my hands, and straight from the shower. My breathing became heavy and I began to panic. I felt my vision going everywhere, and every drop of water was just red.

>My hands were coated and every drop felt heavy like lead. I wanted to make it stop, but as I reached for the handle, the valve turned to a branch. A thick pile of leaves on bark. My surrounding went from a white ceramic bathroom, to a familiar forest with dirt at my feet.

>As I hesitantly looked down, I saw nothing but patterned green covering my once naked body, and red sprinkled all over. My boots were brown as the dirt and splattered as well.

>Beneath all the trees and leaves, I felt water. Rain. Some of the blood slowly washed off with every drip that fell. But it was the only thing clear to finally see for once.

>My body movement and vision became… twitchy. I couldn’t focus on anything. It felt to familiar.

>I felt nothing but sinking pain, yet the red wasn’t my own. I was fine, but what I felt gnawing at the back of my head was worse than anything I could ever feel. Not even ‘Playhouse’ would bother me at the time, nor exist.

“He choba!” [Not again] I thought to myself “НЕ СНОВА!”

>But as I blinked one more time, ceramic was here once more. Clear water flowed through and my body felt light once more.

>I didn’t understand what happened, nor did I have the time to. I just hoped I won’t get to see it again.

>”Anoooon~?” came a voice from outside. “’You done yet? You said you were gonna teach me.”

>I don’t think it was important at all. That little hallucination? Probably something I ate. I don’t think the girls would care about that. Nor would they like it.

“ДА” [Yeah] I said, grabbing a towel and drying up.

>”Y-you don’t need to worry, Anon, I don’t bite.” joked Skittles

“That line?” I said, putting on my clothes.

>”Just a joke, jeez.”

>>303957

>some 3D chick doing cosplay

So the basic monster girl around here without the 3D part then.

>>304065

>To be quite honest, Skittles has been nothing less of cooperative and competent. She was quite eager in helping me, er… help her make some breakfast without the help of Agnes. She may be busy with other things by this time, but I‘ll just ease her if she arrives.

“And when you work on the bread,” I said, slowly cutting it on the corner with the knife. “you have to make sure not to add too much, otherwise you’ll worry about-”

>*Splat* ”Damnit!” she said, catching my attention.

>And her crudely made “Sandwhich” already had a hole, and was teared big enough to let her “Pile of meat with bread” spill on the floor.

>I laughed a bit, covering my mouth with my arm, biting the brace a bit.

>”Not funny,” she said. “give me some credit at least, coach. After all, I’m learning.”

“I’m honestly more surprised that you don’t know how to do something this simple.”

>”Ugh…” she said, letting go of the meal and dropping her head on her hands with a loud moan. “I give up. ‘Can’t even do something this simple n’ easy.”

“Look, Skittles,” I said with a smile, picking up after her “Everything takes practice. You don’t actually expect anyone to be a master on their first try. Do you?”

>”Well, I mean, it looks like they are.” she said, following me after.

“Do you know by any chance the process on how it is done?”

>”I don’t know. Practice? I guess. But it takes too long. And usually Agnes helps me out with this anyway.”

“Ever heard the saying ‘Practice makes perfect’ in your language?” I said, finalizing the cleaning and picking up new slices of bread.

>”It’s just too boring. You know? I kinda like to see the results ASAP, and it’s more efficient. Plus Agnes makes delicious food.”

“And have you considered asking Agnes how she feels when she has to make you your breakfast, lunch, and dinner?”

>”She doesn’t mind, really.” continued Skittles leaning on the table, as a slip noise passed us by. “She hasn’t complained, nor protested it. She just nods, stares, and goes off before we can even thank her sometimes. Mom at first found it a bit rude, but later on she kinda understood that it’s just her. She’s just like that.”

“Just like what?”

>”You know? Cold, emotionless, and, well, handy. She takes care of her sisters, takes care of us, and takes care of the house altogether. To be honest, I’m quite jealous on how, uh…”

“How…?”

>”How fast and cool she is, you know? Like, over a dozen sisters to take care of? The house and us two-er… three to to see to, and the entire house altogether.”

“Really?” I said, picking up the knife once more, placing it ready on the board.

>”Y-yeah, right? That’s… that’s gotta be one of the perks of being a Shoggoth. Transfer, Transform, and Transmute any matter anywhere without a problem. You can fix anything without a hitch. What’s not to be unhappy about that? Being so powerful you can take care of everyone and anything without breaking a sweat?”

“Skittles,” I ask, dropping the tone. “Have you ever asked Agnes by any chance as to whether or not she could take care of herself?”

>The kobold stood still, with a finger in the air, quickly lowering it as she looked away from me. “I mean, obviously. Right? She always looks clean and proper in her uniforms, not to mention that she does whatever is needed without even needing to ask. She also does everything like she’s so full of energy, like it’s nothing too. I mean, sure she doesn’t express it, but all the things we ask her to do feels like child’s play, honestly, like we’re wasting her potential, even for a shoggoth.”

“Skittles, you still didn’t answer my question.” I said, looking in her blue eyes. “Have you, or have you not, ever asked Agnes if she could take care of herself?”

>”I-I mean, she can, right? She’s good at taking care of everyone else.”

“Skittles, Yes? Or No?”

>”N-no.”

“And why not?”

>”I-I don’t know, OK?”

>All she ever got from me afterwards was a stern look.

>”It never crossed my mind. There, happy?”

“Skittles, have you ever wondered what would happen if you have to start taking care of yourself? How can you even take care of others?”

>”What do you mean? Won’t Agnes help-”

“And what if Agnes isn’t there?”

>All I got from her afterwards was pure silence, as she just stared, and soon after, slowly looked down and placed her hands beside the cutting board.

“Hey,” I called with a smug look on my face, as I tossed the slices of bread and slid the knife to the distracted kobold. “start cutting. Do it diagonally.”

>>304100

>tfw the only thing keeping me alive are kikis with thoughts of one day having unconditional love after a long day and wanting nothing more than to hold and be held and wake up to them the next day.

>>304822

>>tfw the only thing keeping me alive are kikis with thoughts of one day having unconditional love after a long day and wanting nothing more than to hold and be held and wake up to them the next day.

Are you me?

>>304939

Anon, don't you get it? It's the fact that kikis are literally perfect, and fill every thing we need even to the point of non-lewd.

And the best part about non-lewd is how you can enjoy and feel it 24/7, together with the lewd, and lasts forever.

>>305367

Not really a fan of master play imo. But I'll be damned if kikis aren't objectively one of the most vanilla and best girls

>>297709

>>297695

>>305367

>same images

<I don't mind though, that means more kiki

<and you can never have too much kiki

>"But, but honey-" said Ivana the kikimora as she was being pushed out the front door by her husband "I don't have to go."

>"Relax!" said Robert, married for 12 years, and father of 3. "You're too stressed and overworked. Enjoy some 'Me-time', ok?"

>Ivana watched in horror as her 3 daughters all piled up on one another to help open the door and show their mother the way out, out to the taxi.

>"Honey, please. I don't mind some Me-time with you-"

>"Then it is no longer 'Me-time'." chuckled Robert, as he was in the final stretches of the exit.

>The kikimora dug her hand and feet to the doorframe, as her luggage swept under her by her daughters.

>She had that look of complete betrayal, as the 3 of them carry their mother's luggage and ran to the giant red oni wearing cab driver's outfit. She signalled them to the open trunk in the back.

>Robert gave a short whistle to the Oni, calling her attention to the kikimora clawing deep in the doorframe.

>"HONEY WHY!?" she yelled, as the 9ft creature came close with a cheeky grin.

>"Take a break from work, you're gonna love it. Trust me!"

>"Oi, 'got a paid cab for one heading to Ms. Drake's mountain spa?"

>"SPA!?"

>"This one right here!" said Robert, pointing at the stiff kikimora.

>"Come on, Daylight's wastin', and I got more calls to fill." said the oni, effortlessly picking up the struggling kiki by the door with one arm.

>"LET ME GO THIS INSTANT!" cried Ivana as she was whisked away and struggled over the shoulder.

>"Now now, miss." said the oni, as she walked to her cab "Just enjoy the place. 'Wish my hubby had the money to send me there, but I got him too, so that counts. But I heard the home-made stuff there is to DIE for."

>"Bye mommy!" said the three daughters at the same time as they waved with their father. "Come back rested in 8 hours!"

>"COME BACK WHE-?" she said, being shoved in the back seat before finishing her sentence."

>The family waved goodbye as the kikimora pounded the glass and screamed at her failed attempts of escape.

>As the cab disappeared, Robert let out a sigh of relief then called his 3 daughters under him.

>"So," he said, putting his hands together with a smile. "Who wants to make a cake and do some chores before mommy gets home?"

>"MEMEMEME!" the 3 said unanimously

>>305579

>>295279

>>295150

>>305588

I have one word for you.

Yes.

>>305574

I was thinking about something like this the other night.

>Marred to kiki for a few years and decide she needs a break

>Wake up before she usually does and cooks myself a breakfast so she can't do it.

>Starts cleaning around the house before she wakes up.

>She wakes up a half hour earlier than normal and flips her shit at the freshly cleaned floor

>"DARLING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh hey, you're up earlier than expected! I'm giving you the day off love. I'll take care-"

>"NO! Y-you'll do it wrong! Just…"

>She fidgets and twitches helplessly and I keep cleaning.

"Just do what I do when I have a day off."

>She grabs my shoulders, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING ON YOUR DAYS OFF?!"

I shrug, "You see me just laze about, don't you?"

>"But… what do you actually do?"

I shrug, "Dunno. Pretty much whatever."

>She helplessly clenches at her hair, confused and terrified at what she's supposed to do.

"Calm down, play some games, watch tv, just relax."

>"I-i'll just go get some groceries. I'm sure we need some."

"Oh, I did that already."

>She panics, "W-well I- uh we…"

>I pause cleaning to let her finish her thought.

>"OH I KNOW! I'll go make you breakfast!"

"Oh no you don't. I already ate. Once you're hungry, I'll make you breakfast."

>She breaks down into tears.

"Come on, it's not that bad. We're just flipping the roles for today. Okay Mistress?"

>Her eyes light up with an idea, "GOOD IDEA! I ORDER YOU TO LET ME CLEAN."

"No. That's not how this works."

>Her eyes start tearing up again.

"Look, how about… you just tell me the things you want me to clean? That'll be a good start."

>She looks distressed about it, and hesitates for several minutes before halfheartedly accepting my offer.

>"I…guess I can try it."

"So what's first Mistress?"

>She points to the fireplace mantle, "First I dust- I mean, uh you? Dust off… the mantle."

>I carefully clean the big clock on the mantle and wipe the dust off the smooth stonework.

>She cringes at my handiwork, "N-no… You have to get into the little crevasses… Let me show you-"

>She begins to reach out towards the cleaning supplies.

I gently grab her feathered wrist, "That's not how this works Mistress."

>She pleads with me. "Look I can't do this. Just let me take care of it, just this once!"

I push her away from the cleaning supplies, "If I didn't do a good job, I am supposed to keep cleaning until it's done right."

>She whines before saying, "Dust it again. Slower this time. AND wipe it into your hands so it doesn't fly into the air."

>I do as I'm told, and clean more meticulously.

>She orders, "Next wipe off the blinds. Spray the cloth first to make the dust stick to it."

>Once again, I do as I'm told, and I can slowly hear her breathing get heavy.

>Next she orders me to vacuum, and when I don't do it well enough, she makes me do it again.

>With each cleaning task completed, she breathes a little heavier and I can see her start to blush.

>Next it's the dining room windows. She fidgets as I wipe them all down properly, without leaving a single streak on them.

>She stops me as I'm about to move onto the living room.

>"Can you…"

"Can I do what mistress?"

>She closes her eyes tight and orders, "CLEAN ME NEXT ANON."

>>305576

>>305577

>>305579

>>305588

>Such sweet pure loving vanilla, even the non-lewd

This is true happiness

>>305574

Kiki on vacation pt. 2

>After being dragged out of the cab by a disgruntled oni, Ivana found herself looking up at a giant cavern.

>”PLEASE!” she cried “I JUST WANTED TO GO HOME!”

>”Look, miss.” the oni sighed, pulling out a bottle of jack as she went back to her car, “Unless you’re paying double or triple to what my next kitsune customer reserved, I ain’t interested.”

>”WAIT! HOW MUCH?” she replied in desperation, as she pulled out her coinpurse.

>”Willing to triple 350$ from downtown till the train station?”

>Ivana froze, as she held her purse tight, opening it and gave a loud groan.

>”Thought so.” said the driver, slamming the door. “Besides,-” She said out the window as she started driving. “Your husband wanted you to relax. Better not let it go to waste!”

>Ivana turned as the cab left, seeing where she landed.

>It had a wide entry, like it was meant for things of all shapes and sizes, and had an old rustic sign saying “Entry”.

>In a panic, she began biting her nails and pulled out her phone and began texting.

>”What if something’s happened while I was gone? What if honey’s having troubles cleaning? What if he sees the error of his ways when he accidentally stains the carpet like last val-”

>”I’ll take that, thank you!” said a demon as she nipped the phone away.

>Ivana dropped her jaw as little imps went on and carried Ivana’s bags for her.

>”GIVE IT BACK!” she yelled. “IT’S A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!”

>”life or death!” mocked the demon sitting in the front desk. “Listen sweetheart. Ms., Ivana, was it? You gotta learn to relax. Your husband called us and informed us about you doing nothing but work everyday, 7 days a week, and wants to give you the day off. Gotta at least thank him.”

>”BUT I GOTTA CHECK! WHO KNOWS HOW THEY’RE DOING WITHOUT ME!”

>”Sweetheart, I know you think about your family and all, but if your husband says you’re overworked, you might wanna take it easy for now. Besides I’m sure they’ll be fine without you and can take care of themselves for at least a couple of hours. Right? They’re not wurms, I mean some of the ones here are, but I’m sure they’re fine.”

>”No, please, I just want to go back. I need to help them. Take care of the kids, clean the hou-”

>”Lemme’ stop you right there!” said the demon, pointing a finger out. “I get that you want what’s best for your man and your kids right?”

>”R-right…”

>“Then maybe you should listen to your kids when they say that they want what’s best for you. And if they want you to relax and take it easy, then relax and take it easy.”

>The kikimora stood still, a finger on her chin, and moved her legs uneasily.

>”Well…” she said “this is what they want… right?”

>”Plus,” interrupted the demon “after a relaxing day here, you’ll be so filled with energy that you’ll easily be back on your feet and feel energized as ever! Not forgetting to mention, what we serve will make you glomp your man faster than an anubis with a lego set.”

>”I… guess…” said Ivana

>”Perfect!” said the demon, as she clapped her hands, making an imp squad surprise her with a bed carried by 6 bars hit her in the back and continue bringing her through the front double door. “Enjoy your stay!”

>>306408

>glomp your man faster than an anubis with a lego set.”

Huh, reminds me of when I used to play with lego. Fucking loved playing with bricks. Tried to recreate Al Capone's secret escape tunnel once, with moderate success. I miss those days. Bought some 40k sets a while ago, but haven't built many of them. Should paint the ones I have built. I wonder if an inari would like to have a figure building husband like me. If I ever get a bigger place, I'll have a room dedicated to lego, warhammer and vidya.

Speaking of Inari, I guess they are tea drinkers, like me. I really like tea. Not coffee, can't stand the bitterness. Milk does not help. Not really into alcohol either. Milk is alright. I want to drink good tea with my waifu.

>>306421

Tea is a top tier drink though being British I lean towards tea more than coffee anyway. I will say that coffee is better cold than tea is though.

Polite sage for completely off topic beverage discussion.

>>306408

Just thought I'd mention that I approve of this.

Kikis need their vacation. They might not realize it right away, but they do.

>>307763

I'm german and I love kikis.

Shoggy is however still superior.

>>308022

first two are nav's: https://itsnaaaav.tumblr.com/

last one is latenight's, he only has an imgur gallery: http://imgur.com/a/xL3SH

>>307763

German living abroad here. Kikis are life, how can shoggoths even compare?

>>308162

>Feathered Roomba

>Even beginning to compare to my non-euclidean wife

Dream on, dream boy.

>>307763

>Tell me, do we know anyone that's German, and loves Kikis to death?

Don't you mean Prussian chicken kobold? Kikimora is a culturally insensitive name for all the chicken kobolds that were expelled from their homeland simply for helping the Germans to delouse the clothes of some filthy Danukis.

>>308226

It won’t last, they’re natural enemies. Like housewives and maids! Or pet girls and maids! Or maids and other maids! Damned maids! They ruined the maid fetish!

-Anonymous Kikimora

>>308312

Maids sure are a contentious people.

>>308443

Underrated post.

You want update? No? Too bad, here update anyway

>>304822

>With a couple of lunchboxes stuffed with salami and meat sandwhiches, Skittles gave a big sigh of relief, as she mustered the last bit of her strength to close the lid.

"And you think that's gonna keep you fed in class?"

>"I don't see why not." she smiled. Tossing the lunchbox in her bag.

>She quickly got up, and skipped to me, embracing me with a warm hug.

>"Thanks for helping me, coach." she said, head nuzzling in my chest.

"Skittles, this is just a sandwhich. No need to be overdramatic."

>"Well, it's a start, right? I can enjoy the little things every once in a while."

"Over lunch?" I chuckled

>"Well, I never had it before… okay?"

"You never had something to eat?"

>"Not funny!" She said, letting go and backing herself from me. "Let me relish this for a bit."

"Don't worry. Soon, you'll be flipping pancakes and turning the grill on your own in no time!"

>"You mean it?" she said with a smile.

"No."

>"Ass." she said, her face dropping and turning with a pout.

"I mean, you don't need me to tell you how to do it. Your stove is right there." I pointed. "And if you need to make pancakes, just get some eggs, flour,-"

>"Not what I mean you ass."

"Then please," I say, keeping my smile "tell me what do you mean?"

>"What if, and I know it will happen, the one I make are terrible? No one will wanna eat it."

"No one but you."

>"W-what?" she stuttered.

"Skittles, I tell you something quick. Not only in my country. But also in life. You make mistake, you eat it. Live with it."

>"Eat it?"

"If you don't like how something ended, you still take it in whether you like to or not."

>"And if I don't want to?"

"Then you still do. But you learn from it. 'Is bitter pill, but effective."

>"If I know I made something wrong, why should I still take this 'Bitter Pill'? I'm not masochistic."

"Because you learn more from things done wrong than things done right. Sometimes it hurts, but pain is good motivator."

>"And if I don't?"

"Then you may as well quit on the first try."

>"I mean, it's not wrong to-"

"But this is just FOOD, Skittles," I said, interupting her with a grin. "People and monsters have been doing this for decades, longer than even anyone you know. Minus an eldritch and goddess or so, of course."

>"So you're telling me I should either give up, or accept my failures with a REALLY big smile on my face."

"So long as you take it."

>"And is it wrong to ask for help?"

"Nope, but it is more fun to try it out and learn on your own."

>"Oh really, Anon." she said with a smile. "Then let me ask. How many things are YOU good at, huh?"

"I don't know."

>"Staying here and berating me, yet you don't know about things you're good at. Name one for me then."

"Breathing."

>"Ha ha, very funny. Be serious."

"Surviving."

>"I said seriously, Anon. Again."

"Sur-Vi-Ving."

>"Anon… anyone can do that."

"Can you?"

>"Anon, I'm doing that right now."

"Well that's GREAT." I said, clapping my hands. "Then I named one."

>Skittles groaned, rolling her eyes and placing her hands on her face.

>"Whatever, coach." she murmured, walking to the kitchen door. "Clock's tickin', and I gotta go to class. You're comin' right?"

"Do I have a choice?"

>"Nah, you're comin'." she smiled, leaning her head out the door as her body went. "Wait for me in the car."

>And with a small wave, she left. Leaving me to turn and take a look at the kitchen after our little food fiasco.

>The whole place was a mess. Bread everywhere, Jars and containers of marmalades, jams, pickled things, meat, and the like were everywhere, open, and had markings of cross dipping of utensils in every one of them.

>I probably gave her too much liberty, and should've eased it to her better. And probably should've kept my mouth open in things like proper cleaning.

>After taking a heavy sigh, I started picking up the opened and used wrappers on the floor. Taking every scrapped bit of plastic that littered the kitchen path.

All this love of kikis were what kept me alive, thank you anons.

>>307763

I fit the bill. Where can I get one?

>>309092

>But as I began cleaning this heap, I felt a tug on my sleeve. Looking back, I see some of the girls awake. And Jenny, pulling me, with her sisters carrying smaller brooms and cleaning equipment.

>"Need any help?" she asks, looking at me with her sisters and their golden eyes.

"Don't you have to get ready? Don't you still have to go to school?"

>They all nodded, still holding to their tools tightly.

"Don't you have to get ready now?"

>They all shook their heads, and Jenny continued pulling.

>"We woke up early. But school starts later for us. We're not tired, so we wanted to see what's going on in the kitchen."

"Oh, sorry to disturb you, little ones."

>"You didn't disturb us. We saw you cleaning stuff up, and we wanted to help."

"You are sure?"

>"Positive."

"You know what?" I said, giving her a headpat. "You girls are awake now, and you probably know the drill better than I do. Let's get to cleaning!"

>The little ones cheered, as I stood up, and they started charging in over messes lais out and about.

>It felt good at first, seeing their dedicated little faces go around and clean, or at least try to, deal with every discolored spot on the kitchen tiles.

>But then it got Chaotic. There was some infighting between few of them, and many constantly clashed and bumped heads on one aother while sweeping and mopping. Some were hogging over a small bit of green while not looking at the bigger mess that is the rest of the kitchen. And some were even doing tug-o-war with their own equipment, pulling and fighting over a mop or 'Their Spot'.

"All of you stop." I said. And just like that, their feud came to a halt, mid-action. "What happened? I thought you girls are better at this."

>"Big sis usually tells us what to do and how to do it." said one. Others agreed, giving out even a small "Yeah…"

"BUT" I muster "Agnes isn't here right now. What happens then?"

>"OOH OOH" cried one from the back "I know this one! When she's not there, we take care of our own." The response was… again, more nodding.

"But you're sisters. There has to be something keeping you close. You mean to tell me, without someone telling you what to do, you're lost on your own?"

>They were quiet. Some looking their heads down or kicking the floor with their feet.

"No teamwork? Really?"

>They just shook, some turning away from me.

"No problem, we can make something new out of this. Alright then, girls, who wants to play a game?"

>"ME! ME! ME!~" many of them chanted, jumping and raising their hands.

"Alright." I say, putting a finger up. "Who's good with sweeping? Even through the tight corners?"

>From the handful of little ones, around a third rose their hands quick.

"Good. All of you, stay at my right side." I say cheerily.

>And like a bunch of excited children, they followed.

"Now," I said, putting 2 fingers up to the remaining Two-thirds. "who's good at cleaning with a spray bottle and cloth, or a mop?"

>And from the remainder, half rose their hands.

"Good!" I cheered, turning to the girls to my right, as the fidgeted in excitement. "Half of you, Go to my left now!"

>And so they did, rushing through me, as I pointed.

"Now, half of you," I said, pointing to the ones good with a spray. "Go to my left and join. You girls will be team 1, and the other to my right and join. You girls will be team 2."

>"Yessir Mr. Anon sir!" they all cheered

>But as they said that I felt my left leg twitch, and my vision to blur a bit. And slowly, I began seeing red where there shouldn't be.

>But something tugged my sleeve, snapping me back to reality.

>Jenny, looking up with the remaining shoggoths, began to ask.

>"But what about us Mr. Anon?"

>The rest nodded, as they saw the groups clean

>I laughed a bit under my breath, cleared my throat, then went to the main table.

"Now, you girls can do the equally important part on helping me put the food back in the fridge."

>Some cheered, the others were already rushing to open the fridge door.

"Easy." I said, carrying each of them aside. I opened the door and pointed to the food left on the table. "All of you make a line, let's put them back together piece by piece."

>"OKAY!" they said, as they passed things on to me and slowly filled the fridge with properly resealed and cleaned condements.

>>309093

>As the fridge was re-stacked, I turned to see a bunch of happy shoggoths at my feet. With a smile, I looked at the rapidly cleaned room, and bellowed.

"How are we doing, Team 1?"

>"Almost done, sir!"

"Team 2?"

>"Give us a bit, Mr. Anon, sir!"

"You girls still want to help out?" I asked, to the ones below.

>They nodded, waiting for me to say something to them.

"Let's finish this up, grab the utensils, and let's make it sparkly."

>And they did. Without me telling them, they got to the sink, and took their positions, and within a minute, everything was spic and span.

>The kitchen was spotless, and not a single stain was in sight. and the best part was that it was only a quarter to 7. Just in time for Skittles to be getting ready.

"Well done, girls, and thanks for the help." I cheered "But why are all of you awake at this time?"

>"We woke up early 'cuz big sis seemed busy."

"When isn't she…" I murmured, looking down on the ground.

>"She looks sleepy today, though." said one of the little ones. "Here eyes were reddy and we dunno why."

>"We can cheer her up, but we gotta go to school."

>"Can you cheer big sis up for us, Mr. Anon?"

"Cheer her up?" I ask, dropping my smile. "What do you mean?"

>"We saw her earlier talking to herself though. And you'll be with her longer than us 'cuz we'll be in the bus."

"Talking to herself?"

>"She sat earlier on one of the empty chairs at the hall."

>"We thought it was ok, like she wants to sit n' stuff 'cuz she does a lot of work n' stuff, y'know."

>"Yeah, but she put her hands on her head and then started to rub her eyes and then quietly talk and then we secretly saw-"

"Slow down little ones. Where's Agnes?"

>In unison, they all pointed out the door, and Jenny stepping forward, grabbing my hand, and pulling me out.

"Follow us, we'll show you."

Body was too long, twice

>>309094

Ayyy Thought you died. Good update fam

>>299671

Best wan

>>309497

I saged because there wasn't anything else that was posted on /monster/, so bumping it wouldn't have any any effect.

saging for OT

Guys, why do my roombas keep getting destroyed? I bought them to ease the work my wife does. But they barely last a day and warantee doesn't cover it, because they claimed that the damage was done by an outside source.

>>309813

set the house on fire

>>309815

>buy a roomba for kiki waifu

>Roomba keeps "breaking" for some reason

>Only solution is to burn the house.

>Daughteru becomes bat-kiki, protector of the night, stopping crime and roombas one dustball at a time

>>309838

Careful, she might turn into the face of Nancy Longbroom, and we all know how awesome that'll turn out.

Kikipocalypse mfw

>CLEANING IS JUSTICE

>DIRTINESS IS EVIL

>FRESHNESS IS STRENGTH

>>309813

>>309815

>>309838

But Anons, I just bought multiple roombas in a bundle and have attached black boxes and cameras onto them. That way, kiki wife and I will find out who or what keeps destroying them and whether we should be worried or not.

>>309813

Roombas sell data about your house to the government, it's a good thing that they keep breaking

>>310490

But Anon, when I bought them to surprise my Kiki, she was smiling and saying I as thoughtful. I don't want her to think of me as unreliable for buying things that keep breaking in the first week.

>>310761

Whilst established that polt is not furry, those pictures of polt are leaning towards the snouty side, my dude. Have a care.

>>310763

Yeah i know. It's dangerous to go to that side.

Thanks for the warning, tho.

>>310769

Dammit Marche, go back to the GG threads!

>>310826

first pic is cute, got any more of her?

>>310832

It's from gats.tumblr.com.

She's actually a cat, not a dog.

>>310864

>She's actually a cat, not a dog.

Then why are you posting her in the thread for dog monster girls?

>>310484

Did you purchase the warranty for it?

>>310882

Obviously! I planned it all out for my kiki, so she doesn't need to stress over it.

>>303716

>GTFO you turbonigger of a newfag and don't ever return

Come on man, if you're gonna call other people that, the least you can do is not to act as one.

>>Insert P5 Down + Weak effect

Is not any different from *teleports behind u*, even if you hide it with memearrows.

>>310672

The gift is thoughtful, what is even more thoughtful is not having a robot SLUT in your house selling your data to the government.

>>310926

but it is just a vaccum cleaner that moves on its own. Not an automaton.

>>310871

I didn't post her, I just knew where sure was from and answered an Anon's question.

>>310826

>1st pic

why are liquids an anime always so much more viscous than they are in real life

>>310929

any robot willing to clean your house without consulting your wife is a SLUT

>>310952

But I did consult my wife about it and told her that I found a way to make her work easier. She was smiling too. So I'm sure I did good.

>>309094

>The bathroom door opened, slowly, causing the little ones to peek in and piling in on top of each other.

>Some put a finger over their mouths, as they waved their hands in. I slowly moved in, trying to keep myself quiet for whatever the girls wanted of me.

>As I treaded, I heard an odd sound near the shoggoth side of the bathroom. It sounded slimy and wet.

“Agnes?” I said softly, looking around the bathroom lit by sunrise. “Are you there?”

>Nothing. Just the weird slimy noise in the background.

>”…-non…” I hear a spine chilling call.

“Hello?” I said again, this time to the direction of the call.

>I turned back to see the little ones all piling up and staring through the door cracks, but none wanting to move. I shrug and slowly headed to the sounds.

>As I moved, they grew louder and louder, all the way to the shoggoth showers. As I reached the source, hearing faint “-you”s and “-non”s, I came across a shower door. The slimy sounds were at their loudest by this point. And so was the familiar voice calling my name…

>As it just grew louder from my standing, it sounded like… pain? Just moaning alone in the shower.

>”Anon!” I heard the voice call, louder this time.

“Agnes?” I said, realizing the voice. “Are you Okay?”

>I heard loud panting and grunting, leading to a buildup on a loud yell. Whatever it was, either she needs help, or she is in trouble for calling my name out.

>And in quick action, I kick the door of her stall.

>Only to see her naked, staring at me, with only her t-shirt to cover her top and her laptop to cover the rest.

>Her hands were blocked by the laptop screen, but I don’t want to look into detail about that.

“Uh…”

>She froze, turning red in her entire body, as she looked like she was about to scream, if only she wiped out the drool on her mouth.

“Skittles and I are getting ready, she has to head to the Un-”

>Before I could finish, she screamed at me. “WHAT DO YOU WANT!”

“I don’t know, help?”

>As I said that she used her body to slam the stall door at my face.

>The Bathroom was quiet though. Not even the water running could make up for the deafening silence.

>”How much… did you hear…?” murmured Agnes out of the bathroom stall.

“Not much, If I guess…” I said, as I laid my back on the door,

>”That’s… That’s good.” she murmured. I felt her back lay on the other side of the door as well, right behind me, as I stared at the wall outside, and hers inside.

“So…” I asked, practically feeling her hand beside mine. “What was… that?”

>”I don’t want to talk about it…”

“Why not?”

>”What do you think it was, Anon?”

“I don’t know,” I sigh, putting my hand over my face. “were you watching something in your laptop? Reading something? Show? Movie?”

>”Reading.” she called out, moving her hands to the point that I couldn’t feel them beside mine. “I was reading…”

“R-right,”I said, standing up. “I’ll let you get back to your ‘reading’.”

>“Anon, wait.”

“What?”

>”How… did you get in?”

“The girls opened the door for me…?”

>”They DID!?” she exclaimed. “I’m impressed and furious to be honest.”

“Really, why?”

>”They grow up so fast, huh.”

”Well, Agnes, as they grow, we have to go. So, do what you’re doing, and we can meet at the garage.” I said, leaving the bathroom.

>And yet, as I open the door, I look down to see the little one, Erika, looking at me with her stuff teddy in her hand.

>”I heard big sis screaming.” she said groggingly. “Is everything ok?”

“Everything is alright, little one. Go get some breakfast with your sisters.”

>”What did you do in there Mr. Anon?”

“Noth-”

>”DON’T CALL HIM MISTER ANON!” cried one of the shoggoths peeping in the back.

>”WHAT?” Erika screamed in return.

>”HE’S GONNA BE OUR NEW UNCLE. THE FUN UNCLE!”

>And with that, the remaining Shoggoths in the back cheered a big “YEY!”

>And the little one’s eyes sparkled and she gave a big smile at me.

>”Is this true?” she cheered.

“Uh…”