>Be me
>Loveless loser even when monster girls are around
>They say beggars can't be choosers but I value my pelvis too much
>Decide to use love potion
>Don't read instructions because reading is for nerds
>Take whole bottle
>Two days later and I still have a boner
>Go to hospital
>Tell me there are two ways to cure this
>Drain all the blood out of my penis with a needle or have sex with a red cross volunteer till the erection goes away
>Opt for the sex, needles suck
>Go to private room ushi-oni barges through the wall like the cool-aid man
>Has little red cross armband on
>ｊｕｓｔ ｆｕｃｋ ｍｙ ｓｈｉｔ ｕｐ
>hours later of spine shattering, pelvis pulverizing, lumbar loosening, tailbone trailblazing, penis pummeling sex later
>My erection still stands strong even after all that
>Doctor comes in tells me he was just pranking me and it's on television
>Camera crew comes out of hiding the plant in the corner was an alraune with a camera, the pot the alraune was sitting in was a golem with a mic, danukis sitting behind one way mirror with their phones out and every piece of furniture from the couch I sat on to the ceiling fan was a mimic
>"So what are we gonna do about my erection"
>Doctor pulls out a needle and says he's gotta drain the blood from my dick
>Such is life in monster girl city