/k/ - Weapons

The axe or hammer sound like good bets. There's heft on the end for a solid swing. Just make sure to have a lanyard or something connected to the bottom to wrap around your wrist. Don't want rapefugees to take your weapon from you if shit goes wrong.

Staubklopfer

>>645495

Well I intuitivly thought that the machete would be a better choice when looking at the bigger stuff.

I mean when those weapons have been used in real combat, sharp stuff was prefered against unarmored oponents and I doubt that a nigger will have chainmail.

>>645494

>Sign up at a MMA club.

>Carry around a halberd as sports equipment.

>>645497

noice, but thats illegal. You should know.

>>645499

dude I am serious. There is literally a rapist living not far from my place.(I am male though)

I mean its only one I know of.

There are several refugee housings in my area. Two of them on my way back home. I often go home quite late.

>>645501

Dont be an asshole know, you dont have one yourself anyway.

>>645494

>those white devils beating up those poor refugee children, why hasn't Merkel killed them yet?

Have you considered a crate of liberators to free you from your puppet government?

I would start with something small that you can produce quickly.

>>645500

Like, just molotov their houses, lmao.

Torch em all, brah.

Just kidding~ That would be wrong. ;P

>>645503

I am not talking about long term production anti gov weapons. I am talking about more or less legal self defence.

Any form of armed rebelion would be a small number highly dedicated well equiped hardliners.

10% of the population would show open support towards them

20% would symathize

20% would say "well this is what happens when the country isnt properly governd"

45% would stay neutral and simply hope that they dont get killed

5% would call them evil nazis

In police and military there might be a vastly overproptional amount of support.

But its only 0.5-1% of people who would acctually act.

and only 0.05% that would act lethaly

we arent french.

>>645505

yes, right there are human beings after all. And the most are inocent. :^P

I want to defend myself against the evil ones, that can be german or traumathized refugee child equaly.

In fact I get attacked by 5 yo blonde german girls regulary!

>>645502

Okay, then use Stanley FatMax Fubar III

>>645494

What's the situation in Germany re: self defence laws? Are you going to get fucked over after the fact (in a court) for using specific items or tools to defend yourself?

>>645516

We have "Notwehr" which means emergency defence. It in fact includes helping others and even means stand your ground. I even am allowed to defend my honour (whatever that means)

It doesnt matter what you do, if you can prove that your only intention was defence even killing someone with an illegal firearm will only get you a punishment for illegal weapons possesion and carry.

You can imagine that reality isnt that bright, I am not aware of specific cases though.

If you cannot justify defence, then there is a diference between no weapons and weapons/tools. There is no difference between assault with weapons and tools as far as I know.

But I am not a lawyer, dont take anything for granted.

>>645519

these little things known as laws are outdated, what matters is the feelings of the judge you bigot. Don't let this stuff go to court if you can.

Your hands

>>645500

Stop being a pussy, i lived next to a refugee center for 2 months and went to turkish district daily, i also commuted by public communication daily and no niggers, merkelmen or turks ever gave me any trouble

>>645520

Yes that is was sort of my implication.

Its kinda easier to explain why you have a hammer then >>645497

>>645523

>a knife is better then a hammer or small axe

well this explains why they brought 12cm fixed blades to war instead of flails or hammers :^)

>>645524

>I lived 2 months with niggers and nothing happend

>this means nothing will happen to you

there was a rape+assault and several assault cases not that for from me and several murders in 100km radius

are you retarded? In fact I feel sort of insane walking outside after 9pm without a pistol

>>645519

Using a tool rather than a weapon would probably work better for you in court - carrying a machete would be construed as you planning for it, which would be used to try and present you as some kind of deranged madman who wanted to fuck up that poor defenceless little mugger perish the thought!. Even something like a hammer would probably fall into that category unless you'd use one in your work. Then again your legal system might not be as cucked as ours (you lucky bastard), isn't there a resource for Germans interested in self defence describing the precedent and standards involved?

>>645526

I dont really think about the case when I acctually use it.

If I should use it and get "caught for self defence" I am fucked anyway…

My only thought is how I wont get fucked by some bastard policeman who just checks me.

>isn't there a resource for Germans interested in self defence describing the precedent and standards involved?

there are some discussions but I havent found the answer to my question.

>A bikelock (also ride a bike around the city for added defense in court)

>roll of coins (apply in stabbing motion to the temple)

>MADBALLS

Can you carry pepperspray? That stuff will bring a grown man to his knees so long as he's not on meth. Peppergel is better since it won't blow back in the wind towards you

>>645542

>roll of coins

how is that supposed to be effective?

Yes I can carry pepperspray.

But is peppergel really effective? Any statistics?

I acctually didnt want to buy that because I remembered when I played with water guns as a child one could just hold a hand in front of the eyes or something like that.

a madball is illegal.

>hammer

Bikers in the old days would obviously carry crude shit to fight, but one popular and fairly easily concealed tool would be a small 8oz ballpeen hammer. The heads are tiny about the same size as a disposable lighter while the handles would be about 12 inches long and easy to cut down. With a bit of effort I'm certain you could IWB carry a ballpeen hammer. Unfortunately you don't have much reach but it's as fast as you are while still giving you a shit ton of hurt for such a light thing, don't be suprised if you make noticible dimples in people's skulls.

>>645548

>>645494

>in a battle, five men at hand are better than five thousand men a days march away

>t. some medieval fag

All those things might seem like a good idea now. Not so much when shit happens and you'll want to grab your weapon as quickly as possible, not search for it in a bag.

>>645550

Ye, this falls into the category of very effective hand to hand combar weapons that arent firearms but still illegal.

I am still curious about the effectivness of peppergel…

>>645552

please tell me this isnt real fucking topkek

>>645553

how to defend yourself with a belt, a boxcutter , a pen or an umbrella?

the flashlight is a good idea though

>>645511

Dub dubs confirm best choice.

Crossbow?

>>645560

true, I could replace the big ball at the end with led and claim that I am a faggot.

Police wouldnt like to touch it as they think I had it in my ass.

>>645561

are you autistic?

a box cutter will break off after a small cut, an umbrella has no weight I have absolutly no idea how you stop someone with a belt

a phone? wtf? I am not a grandpa to carry around a walking stick either

I'd rather use my fists then any of that, other then the flashlight.

>>645562

I am not a fucking assasin and its not an everyday item

>>645564

I want legal shit ffs, aka every day items

>>645558

https://battlemug.com/

>>645565

>Are you autistic?

Everyone in here with the exception of you has autism

>a box cutter will break off after a small cut

You have clearly never used one. These things are made to cut open cardboard boxes, you can easily slice someone's throat

>an umbrella has no weight

Stop buying chink $2 umbrellas, faggot. Umbrellas are heavy enough to be used as clubs and many can also be used for stabbing with their pointy ends.

>I have absolutly no idea how you stop someone with a belt

Belts hurt like a bitch, but you wouldn't know because your father never beat you with one.

>I am not a grandpa to carry around a walking stick either

No, but you're clearly a cripple

>>645572

>Retard who never used a box cutter thinks they just snap like it's nothing

>He has never used an umbrella to hit someone and so he thinks they're light and can't be weaponized

>He has never been hit by a belt and thinks his skinny arms do more damage

>>645573

To be fair a box cutter is a better deterrent than a self defense weapon. I mean it'll work but it'd be hard to kill someone with it unless they're tied up, unconscious, or a kid or something. You'd mostly just cut up a guy's arms with one if he was attacking you which might be enough to scare him off, or maybe not if there's multiple attackers. A strong umbrella would be a better weapon though still far from ideal. Shit sucks for folks that can't have guns.

>acquire flint

>grab granite stone and deer antler

>flintknap knives/arrowheads/spearpoints

"But officer, I'm simply an archaeologist"

>>645574

at least this board is funnier then its little brother on halfchan…

>>645578

acctually not bad at all, any tortourials on how to shape it, so it fits my hand?

>>645584

Plenty of videos that show you how to on YT, it's mostly just practice. I learned to do it in university.

Remember to clean up after yourself, and if flintknapping outside, do it on a large tarp so as to not muddy the archaeological record, newly flaked stone is almost indistinguishable from the real thing.

>>645565

> an umbrella has no weight

Are you retarded?

You don't use an umbrella like a bludgeon you savage, it's a thrusting weapon.

>>645589

He's a retarded self-admitted cuckchanner. You could give him a shotgun and he would tell you that there no way to use a shotgun in self defense

>>645587

There was no further input on the effectivness of peppergel and I think it sucks outside of ideal parameters.

I really liked the flashlight aswell.

Everything else would be at least highly suspicious to carry or illegal.

I am not going to shape in perfectly ofcourse, its still should look like a stone, just with a nice surface for the palm.

>>645589

seriously now, are you going to walk around with an umbrella in your hand all the time?

>>645592

stop being autistic ffs, this is not even funny or something. I am not asking you to have been in a real fight. But you saw all the fighting vids didnt you?

>>645596

>seriously now, are you going to walk around with an umbrella in your hand all the time?

Why was that question phrased as if it wasn't a perfectly reasonable suggestion?

>>645596

Peppergel is as effective as pepperspray. If the assailant can block gel with his hand he can do the same with a traditional spray. Get him in both the eyes and mouth

>>645605

I was not comparing it to pepperspray, its clearly superior to pepperspray.

I wondered what is better.

A flashlight, peppergel, a padlock(as knuckleduster) or a sharp stone.

>>645548

Not him but a roll of coins adds mass to your fist. A hammer blow to the temple with a roll of quarter sized (sorry for my ignorance, I don't know German coinage) coins can shatter the thin bone or just give a very nasty concussion. Same thing for knuckle dusters, you don't punch with them you hammer blow with them.

>>645606

No, do not use improvised knucks, you're likely to break your fingers if you punch.

>>645614

You can't freely carry a hammer outside in the EUSSR without getting in trouble, unless you have a good excuse, and unless your job requires the use of a hammer, you don't have any excuse, especially if you're dressed in normal clothes and you're in a mall.

Pens, umbrellas, belts, flashlights and canes are the best choice for the average yuropoor.

Unless you have no problem with breaking the law, in that case literally use a knife.

>>645616

>Europeans literally can't carry a hammer with them without being questioned

Jesus Christ.

>>645494

A lot of the bikers here carry an adjustable wrench (12-14") in their back pocket.

Everyone knows what its for; but no one except kaffirs and goat felchers need to worry about it.

You see that hand over there?

That's a weapon.

You see that pen over there?

That's a weapon.

You see that book over there?

That's a weapon.

You see that usb cord over there?

That's a weapon.

You see that A4 piece of paper over there?

That's a weapon.

Oh boy,

My job as a Corrections Officer is relevant!

The favorite thing I had to dissect as a weapon as an armory officer in segregation was a "reading lesson"

Two DuPont registry magazines wet down using unknown bodily fluids together and sealed with vasalene. They were then rolled up and fused together, after which it was wound tightly with bed sheet. It was then wrapped with tape and more sheets of cloth. It could break bones and get through a metal detector.

Sand, get them in the eyes and kick them in the nuts till they crack.

Maglites. They are literally full blown metal batons that you can easily justify carrying.

I EDC a penlight and a tactical pen.

It's going well.

>>645803

bottle is acctually a very good idea, but a friend told me that a kitchenknife is a very good choice aswell.

How the hell am I going to justify the rest? Besides the boots. I will get those certainly.

>>645819

>>645803

Edit

I ignored the flashlight as it was mentioned allready, I wont carry walking sticks.

Scissors and pliers? inferior to flashlight or knife.

>>645494

>machete

If it's a really sharp machete capable of draw cuts through clothing then niggers would be less tempted to grab it from you as long as you're throwing a frenzy of cuts and slices.

>axe

psychologically and functionally more effective than any of the other things because they have a tendency to hack off limbs in one swing with ease. great for chopping off the instep and splitting skulls. not so great for follow up strikes if you are fighting 4 or 7.

>screwdriver

least likely to be disarmed with it and most likely to cause the most deep target damage without having to strike in an arc at multiple guys. If it is sharp or not just the pain you could cause from applying pressure through the center of it's axing into joints/cartilage and bones will make them think twice about taking your booty.

You could also try to weld two or three of those tools into an autistic franken-tool for each hand.

>hammer/axe + screwdriver = warhammer

>machete + knuckleduster + chain = trench knife with a durable wrist lanyard

They're still gardening tools, of course.

>>645916

*axis

>>645686

Hate to break it to you anon, but the idea is that the object in question is not suspicious if OP somehow manages to fend off a starving african child and is questioned by the enrichment officers. Kind of hard to justify carrying a magazine bludgeon around.

Now listen here OP, this turk >>645592 was dead on the money when he said you'd get mugged even when given a shotgun. Most stuff suggested so far is a viable weapon if you have the right mindset. Like this anon >>645642. But you clearly don't have the right mindset. Living in a high trust society has neutered you. You are scared like a toddler and that's normal. But I'm here to call you a faggot and tell you how violent people deal with your situation so you can unfuck your shit..

For starters, don't ignore this anon >>645554. Even if you decide to ignore the laws and carry a firearm, you're still unarmed if you get jumped and the gun is still in your bag. There's two ways around this problem. The first one is to develop some situational awareness and to already have the weapon on hand when you enter the danger zone. This can be counter-productive if you go with a machete, a brick in a sock, or the footlong flashlight because they're bound to raise a few eyebrows and people are going to remember you. Not ideal. I'd still carry one just in case I really needed it, but then you have to be ready to get fucked if the police ask. Not even a bike lock makes sense if you have it out of your bag and you're still not in trouble.

The second way to deal with the bag problem is to simply not have you lifeline tucked away in your bag. And this is where we hit a brick wall known as kraut autism. Given a plethora of valid options you could easily fit into your pockets and always have at your reach, you've ignored most suggestions because you either want a magic wand that makes the evil future lawyers/doctors go away without you having put too much effort into it, or because you're legitimately so autistic you can't figure out how to use them without an user manual. I'm going to believe in you OP and pray that it's just kraut autism. I'll break down this >>645553 post for you OP. God knows you need it.

>Belt

Wrap some of the leather around your hand to get a good grip and leave the buckle hanging, You got a flail. Aim for the head.

>Box cutter

I'm assuming you know no knife fighting whatsoever, otherwise I wouldn't have to explain this one. Hold out your hand like you're giving someone a thumbs up. Thumb goes over the spine of the blade. That's a forward grip. Don't bother with stabbing motions since the blade is so short. Think of it like you're cutting people with your thumb. Aim for whatever is closest and exposed. Likely the arms. Blood makes people freak out. If you can slash a throat, don't. Go for the jugular instead.

>Lamp

For pocket-size lamps you make a fist. Shiny end goes near the pinky. That's a pickaxe grip. Hammer-fist people's skulls and collarbones with it. If it's dark and your lamp is very bright you can blind people briefly if you shine it at them. Meme rent-a-cop bludgeon maglites would go in your bag.

>Bonus: Roll of coins

Get a bunch of same-sized coins and stack them taller than your palm.. Wrap them in tape so you have a solid cilinder. Use just like you would a smaller lamp.

>Pen

Stab people with the pointy end. Take off the cap first. Works with either grip. I prefer Bic pens.

>Umbrella

Don't be retard and pretend it's a sword or a bat. You're not fencing or bludgeoning anyone with it. Hold it with both hands and thrust the pointy end at people. Aim for stomach and throat.

Here's a suggestion of my own. Get a bandana and a fishing weight. You put the weight in the middle of the bandana and then roll it. Hold the bandana by both ends and you got a flail that you can carry in your pockets and pull out at a moment's notice. Might be a problem if the cops ask but getting rid of either of the components after using it should put you in the clear.

Just remember OP. No amount of tools or weapons or law changes will help you until you have decided to bite off someone's jugular if caught unarmed. What's best is what you can always have immediately on hand and be willing to use but that's up to you.

Sharpened bicycle spoke and a bottle cork is all you need for a good shiv.

>>645955

I hope you arent serious

>>645946

I acctually red all of this twice.

But you idiots (including the other belt, pen and umbrella fags) dont seem to understand that I need to have a serious advantage against unarmed niggers or some mudskin with a knife.

Going in with a pen will get me killed.

You also completly ignore the fact, that I wont be mugged in the city where there are a bunch of eyes watching me.

If I go home at a late hour, I can take out my weapon and hide a machete under my shirt or jacket, have a small hammer in my pocket and cover the head with my hand and so on.

The most likely situation is me on my own or with a friend or even with a girl. And we get aproached by 2-4 syrian refugee children at about 21-22 o'clock.

I am not whimpwristed or fat but not huge either.

I think I will go for a heavy wrench and small hammer(together with WD-40 and ducktape it shouldnt be suspicious) and get a stone for the pocket and sharpen it.

So basicly congratz to

>>645627

and

>>645577

But if anyone has some serious advice, I am still following the thread

>>645967

>I hope you arent serious

Serious as a punctured lung.

>>645977

an attacker is not a pumpkin.

A weapon has to be sturdy, it needs some mass. Even if its a cutting or stabbing one.

The harder it is to fend of or the more areas it can damage deciesivly the better.

It has to be hard to grab aswell.

If you want to assasinate someone, this might be a good choice, but in chaotic hand to hand combat its barely better then fists and certainly worse then a screwdriver.

If this thing is somehow better then something else, why noone used needles to fight back in the melee days?

>>645981

this is not even close to being a needle, is it a triblade?

It acctually proves my point nor yours.

In case we missunderstand eachother, my melee weapon of choice without legal boundires would be a gladius (or a long dagger, a gladius would be hard to get I think).

>>645978

In places like prisons or Glasgow where knife crime is common and knives are banned it is commonly accepted knowledge that anything pointy is good enough to chib a cunt with. Get your self a pair of metal knitting needles and carry some wool

>>646022

Dubs have blessed the hammer. May it help you smash a starving african child. Painting it may be a bit too much, but you can use shoe polish to dull it. I will insist on carrying the fishing-weight flail in your pocket just in case. Good luck mate.

If guns are out you may want to consider vid related.

>>646144

>Colin Furze

I love this guy. He went to the hospital for several months with third degree burns when he tried to build a jet engine from scratch.

Just make wolverine claws bro.

>>646144

So this is how combine would make manhacks if they mostly turned niggers into transhumans. Also was that really that moldy or was it just lighting trick?