9ae40c No.499205
Just got rejected from the US ARMY for asthma. Very drunk. Post your rejection/drunk stories here for me to laugh about.
please ;-;
29be27 No.499207
>>499205
Why did you get asthma? Its a totally useless stat modifier.
9ae40c No.499210
>>499207
my mother smoked when i was in da womb, father and mother smoked around me since the day I was born.
8e3d20 No.499211
9c93d0 No.499215
>>499205
>i didn't get to fight for israel
you should celebrate tbh
9ae40c No.499218
>>499215
I didn't get free college, free healthcare, free training, free food, free housing… They had me set up as 17C, would have gotten me a great job when I was out.
67dc1e No.499221
Try to get into airforce or coastguard
9ae40c No.499222
>>499221
I got a 99 on the asshit but would they let me in with asthma?
29be27 No.499224
29be27 No.499225
>>499224
>>499222
But contact them by phone to find out
9ae40c No.499226
>>499221
>>499224
Why must you hurt me like this
9ae40c No.499227
>>499225
Guess that's all I can hope for.
2f6c35 No.499229
Did somebody write the words "Anon has asthma" into a computer? Did you go to MEPS?
This is the difference between not being able to join and being able to bump your head and forget all about your asthma.
6d98cd No.499232
That sucks.
Not to make you feel like shit with your current circumstances, but as a former non drinker, my drunken misadventures every Friday night resulted in me taking a stripper to a formal military ball. Yes, she did it for free.
If it makes you feel better, iktf.
Listen to >>499229 and/or find a way to cure your issue.
33b6a2 No.499234
>>499207
You do realize that a diagnosis for asthma can be waived for entry into the US Army. All you need is a doctor's note.
29be27 No.499235
>>499234
Unless you have not had a attack for 14 years thats not happening.
29be27 No.499238
>>499235
>>499234
However I would try anyway
353e70 No.499241
I never got in due to a torn ACL, I had a knee reconstruction and most armies will accept that but mine won't. So, I went to join the FFL but it's near impossible for people who don't speak French as a first language to become officers and I did not really like it there, I don't actually like the French and most of the people there had issues, they weren't that disciplined in many ways either, the NCOs would stand around smoking with their hands in their pockets, I still regret leaving though even that would have been netter than nothing. I can't even go to Syria as my country is also quite strict on preventing people going there regardless of who you fight for. Don't know what I'll do now.
2eee46 No.499248
Not rejected but I am enlisting in the Navy as a SWCC.
22345b No.499261
>>499218
Don't forget the free coffin
c4c3b7 No.499320
I got rejected for not being willing to fight for Israel
7cd5d0 No.499350
>>499205
I enlisted into the marine corps…
>got disqualled for hydrocele.
>A condition that gives you enlarged testes
>I couldn't get into the marines because my balls were too big
>anytime the story comes up it gets awkward because I know people either won't believe me, or will laugh their ass off behind my back
9ae40c No.499353
>>499229
I told my recruiter and he shoved me out the door basically. nothing was written down.
9ae40c No.499354
>>499235
>>499234
Some guy I was in the recruiting office with had to get a doctors note for an unidentified scar on his hand (it looked like he sliced it with a kitchen knife) and it took him 5 months to get a waiver.
9640b4 No.499359
>>499353
You could always go to a different recruiting station. Some recruiters are desperate. When I was in boot camp we got this guy who had lasik eye surgery and metal pins rods and a plate in his hand. He got turned down at like 3 different MEPs. So you can always try try again like he did until they push you through.
c3a662 No.499363
>>499320
>Apply to McDonald's
>Tell them you're not willing to flip burgers
You're a dumbass
168501 No.499366
>>499350
That's fucking hilarious.
>>499359
>lasik eye surgery
They won't let you in if you had your eyes lazor'd?
93f48c No.499373
>>499218
The free college and the healthcare might be legit points to some degree, otherwise that training (in Army at least, even for 17C) isn't really likely to translate to the civilian job market in the way you are hoping it will. The food is free but it isn't tasty, similar with housing, it is a roof and a bed, but you could make pretty similar arguments about intentionally going to jail. (Free jumpsuits!)
Seriously, if you have an interest in infosec work towards getting OSCP or at least Security+ on your own time. If you can land an entry-level security auditing position, or hell, just work on being a competent junior sysadmin somewhere for a year or two as you work on your scripting while doing something like OSCP - that will get you farther in a lot of places than 17C training will and it won't take you eight years or so to get out and start making better money with it.
The only exception I can see is if you're really REALLY wanting to get processed for Secret clearance so that you can work somewhere around DC. Even then, your ability to learn on your own is what is going to make you good at infosec, not what a classroom can teach you, especially not a .mil one, unfortunately.
I faced a similar question myself as I was about to leave college ten years or so ago. I was thinking of joining the Navy as an officer to go into what was at the time a relatively new group geared towards 'the cyber'. I don't know if that specific position still exists, don't have the exact title on hand… But I had a buddy who had been in the Navy for around 10 years doing crypto/comms and his advice was to stay in the civilian market, that most of the positions I told him I was interested in where likely to be outsourced or were already in the process of being outsourced to people in the civ. market for way more than the officers were being paid - and he was totally right. That was like a decade ago, so there may indeed be more permanent positions related to infosec within the branches now, but his advice might have just saved me from ending up without the possibility to receive the job or the training I wanted.
7c01d7 No.499377
>Going Army
>Not Coast Guard
2f723b No.499398
>>499205
I have a friend who lied on his Navy application and said he had never done drugs. During his basic training, he admitted he had done drugs before and they kicked him out (not for using drugs, but for lying about it). He got a commemorative US Navy tattoo of an anchor with the "no smoking" symbol over it and the dates "2006-2006" at the bottom. Pretty funny.
b5d1a8 No.499440
>>499377
>drowning at sea because some dumbass yacht owner doesn't know how to read a weather report
>dying at sea because you got shot by an illiterate South-American drug runner
Sure, sounds fun
8225bb No.499473
>>499373
>Japanese hacker girl
A delusional fantasy
>western hacker girl
Actual hacker girl
I don't see the problem here, is this supposed to make japshit look good?
Sage for off topic.
9ae40c No.499478
>>499366
check'd
they do, they also highly encourage you to do it when you get in but it fucks your eyes later in life. the problem for that guy was the metal in his hand.
403f87 No.499482
>>499440
>not realizing that the Coast Guard is the least cucked branch
>not having to die for Israel in the middle east while your wife gets tyrone's dick back home
>all while shooting down illegals and eating gourmet food
7c01d7 No.499483
>>499440
>Not learning how to fix aircraft for big bux
>Not shooting illegals
>Not joining MSRT to do black ops illegal shooting
>Not enjoying gourmet food while doing said illegal shooting
1503a2 No.499493
dc3738 No.499498
>>499359
>>499353
>Some recruiters are desperate
Alternatively, get a time machine to 2007.
fcc4a0 No.499546
>>499241
>No flag
What…are you?
1618dc No.499550
>join Marine Corps
>shit's going well
>get stress fractures last month due to the intense PT
>go to MCRD
>go straight to MRP for 3 months
>go back to training
>2 weeks later, back in MRP for 2 months
>be in PCP
>go to medical
>yeah your shit's fucked and we're discharging you
>get fraudulent enlistment discharge
Thanks Marine Corps, they just couldn't let me go without dicking me with the big Green Weenie one last time.
1aeeb4 No.499555
>>499205
you lucked the fuck out
c55246 No.499659
>>499350
Post pics or it didn't happen.
No homo.
4eb60c No.499680
>>499550
You should have drunk your milk, faggot. I completely dislocated my shoulder during training and still made it.
fae3f3 No.499683
9ae40c No.499686
>>499550
What was the reason for the fraudulent enlistment?
9ae40c No.499687
Also op here, I just went around the recruiter and went to the meps station myself and talking to the army reps there, didn't say anything about my asthma and I passed the physical, they even let me use my old asvap score, I just told them I stopped the processing due to being undecided.
c55246 No.499700
>>499687
>lying to your future employer
That was very dishonest of you, Strelok. Well done.
7c01d7 No.499702
>>499687
Join Coast Guard, fag.
9457c9 No.499706
>>499205
you just avoided having to suck jew dick, faggot.
9ae40c No.499721
My main concern now is how the fuck am I going to survive the gas chamber? That riot gas is bound to set off asthma even though it hasn't effected me since I was very young
1618dc No.499750
>>499680
I drank milk every fucking day for my whole life prior to this, and during training. That shit was complete dogshit. Fuck me for trying to a perfect PFT score right?
>>499686
So get this, because I told medical that I did have pain before coming to MCRD, and this is because of the pool functions, that means I "hid" a preexisting condition, even though I told my recruiters that my shins were hurting like a bitch, and they said oh it's just shin splints lol don't worry, and I didn't.
I got off easy though, a buddy got the same thing except his femoral necks are rotting and that is because he fell off a cliff in the 8 mile hike and that completely shattered his fem necks. But they gave him medfraud because he said he had like a little bit of pain due to pushing shopping carts with his hips when he worked at WalMart. Fucking Corps, fucking my shit up.
27a626 No.499785
>>499210
Welcome to the modern era where parents can get away with fucking your life up.
Are they boomers by any chance?
dc3738 No.499787
>>499721
Sneak an inhaler in or just deal with it. Remember, you didn't have an asthma attack, you just reacted to the gas really bad *pulls stress card*.
Back in the 1990s a dude with asthma made it into the Rangers before it was found out, IIRC. I just remember it from reading Black Hawk Down so many years ago.
9ae40c No.499821
>>499750
Both of those are fucking crazy im sorry for what its worth
1618dc No.499825
>>499821
It really doesn't matter, wish I didn't get dicked with the medfraud discharged, but it seems like I dodged a bullet. All my buds I keep in contact with from MRP say it sucks and the Drill Instructor that drove me to RSP told me that I'm not missing much.
353e70 No.499826
7715f2 No.499876
>>499205
Being white, although most if not all applicants are white. The government wants a more diverse officer corps in our army.
e6f753 No.500375
>>499205
How hard was the test to get in?
eef3a1 No.500423
>>500375
it's mainly just to ensure you're literate. past that any child can pass it.
d18ac6 No.500507
>>499218
>you didn't get to be a leech on society
Oh no, I'm so sorry for you
060fbb No.500847
>>499205
in Finland if you're a man and 18 years old you HAVE to go to the army unless you're rejected
i'm glad i was
33a454 No.500853
>>499205
The Marines tried to recruit me when I was in high school. Picked me up and drove me to the recruiting place. They looked really excited until they found out I had dairy allergies. Don't know why they were so eager to get a nerd; I thought they went into the Chair Force.
In retrospect, I'm glad they didn't take me, even if they'd have gotten me in shape.
>>499218
When the government is offering "free" stuff, you be sure to look that gift horse squarely in the mouth; it's most likely a horse-shaped skinsuit wrapped around shit.
e8bad9 No.500860
>>500375
I performed below average in school and came away from the ASVAB with a 125 GT score.
You'd have to be a literal sub-retard to fail it, because actual retards can and will pass it and then wind up in charge of you
1618dc No.500907
>>500853
>Don't know why they were so eager to get a nerd
They love that shit, got a 95 on the ASVAB and they were 100% okay with PTing the shit out of me just to get me in. Even if it did fuck me in the end.
4a6b7b No.500934
>>500860
Alright just got a 54. So how tough is basic?
132151 No.500935
>>500934
depends. whats your CoD KDA? PROTIP: if the drill sarge yells at you, just punch him right in the face, or just laugh at him. everyone will respect you if you do this.
3cc438 No.500948
>>500934
Disappointingly easy from my experience.
a3228b No.500958
>>500935
the military is gay anymore though and in at least the chairforce they can't even get in your face or anything.
31bc8a No.501018
>>500948
I should also note that I went through basic over 6 years ago, and everyone I know from my army days has told me things have gotten even more pussified.
Beyond firing machine guns and maybe tossing a hand grenade (if they even let you do that in basic anymore), I highly doubt you'd experience very much beyond moderate PT and some NCOs in campaign hats doing their best to put the fear of god into you without actually being able to fuck you up in any form or fashion.
841dbb No.501529
3ec374 No.501548
>>499205
Oh boo hoo, you can't fight wars for foreign interests. Try being fired from your job because your employer bought another company, is still raking in massive profits and has plenty of cash, but your department is considered over budget so they decided to make up some lie to pin on you personally and throw you under the bus, and everyone on your team who knows the lie is bullshit keeps to themselves and leaves you out to dry to save their own skins. Then the contracting agency you're working through shows signs of believing the lie, there aren't really any other jobs in your skillset in the area, only enough money leftover to pay rent and utilities for a bit, not enough saved up to buy a cheap truck camper to live out of, and no home to limp back to.
2f6c35 No.501571
>>501548
How do I subscribe to your blog?
e8fc63 No.501576
>>501548
Don't be a Beta and sue to never work again.
353e70 No.501579
>>501548
The thing is, your issues are all civilian based. There is always an opportunity for you to do what you want in the civilian world, you are just unhappy with the current way it is. If you are rejected from the military there is nothing, because there is nothing like that in the civilian world.
608b79 No.501582
>>499205
>Wanting to fight for juden.
>>499350
The muhreens don't want to make their navy boyfriend jealous.
>>501579
>If you are rejected from the military there is nothing, because there is nothing like that in the civilian world.
Join a BDSM club in Detroit.
984f80 No.501584
>>499473
>don't portray anything better than it is in reality
I'm sure you are a sunny person to share an evening with.
mfw know a girl that is almost literally an American Futaba
797672 No.501744
>>501571
>entire thread is made for blogposting
Kill yourself.
>>501579
Yes, by moving to a pozzed shithole like california or jew york because they're the only places that might have positions that haven't been sent to pajeet in chennai. "MUH CIVILIAN" issues are far more important than "whaaaa whaaaaaaaaa I can't fight and die for israel and do nothing to further my own peoples' interests".
9b54a9 No.501788
>>501746
>>501747
>talks like an ayy
>burger flags
You have to go back, xeno.
333a38 No.502391
I applied for the Navy and made the mistake of telling the recruiter I have Kallmann Syndrome (my body started making its own testosterone around age 16 after years of hormone therapy) and it was an instant medical rejection from MEPS when he sent in the survey.
Do they keep that shit on file and will I get thrown into Leavenworth/dishonorably discharged if I go Army and just keep my big mouth shut? The thing literally isn't a problem anymore and I'm by all means healthy.
47a4cd No.503509
I'm planning on seeing if I can get an 18X contract here in a few weeks.
I guess we'll see how it goes.
I have actual medically diagnosed autism so I'm not optimistic right now.
I'm pretty sure I can't get a waiver but fuck if I know
>>502391
Just get a medical waiver, my dude.
c55246 No.503542
>>502391
>one google search later
As long as you have now completed puberty you should be fine. Nobody cares if you are infertile, and as long as your sense of smell isn't 100% gone, it shouldn't be a problem. Hell, it could even help with some less than pleasant situations to NOT have a functioning nose.
If you still need to take your hormones you would be fucked though. Keeping things secret from your buddies is impossible, especially if your dick/balls look like the ones of a preteen fuckboy. They will notice during shower time, and they will notice you popping pills now and then. You won't be able to conceal it.
So unless your dick is normal sized and you don't need to take hormones for normal biological function, you probably shouldn't.
c4d36b No.503549
>>499205
They did you a favour.
8457d8 No.503588
Got a 99 on the assvag and joined the Navy on a psych waiver after it came to light I'd seen a psychiatrist in high school. Recruiter got a copy of his notes and said everything was good to go. Was contracted to go through the nuclear power training pipeline, which takes about a year and a half.
Got through boot camp and was within a few weeks of graduating when I had a graded drills watch go absolutely terribly due to a combination of chronic lack of sleep third phase of training is 12 hour rotating shifts and complete fucking dickishness of my instructor who threatened to scratch a signature off my qual card every time I got a question wrong, no matter how unrelated it was to the watch I was currently standing. I was already fairly behind in points, but that series of events pushed me back a whole lot further, to the point of me probably not finishing in time.
The next day I tried talking to one of the other instructors who was there for the whole thing, hoping to get some help on how to unfuck myself. Instead, I said the littlest thing which he misconstrued and he started to suspect suicidality. Next thing I know I'm getting dragged to the ER to be evaluated, and I was seen by some dumb street shitter who put me on beta blockers and said to take a few days off. I was thankful for the break but upset that things had gone so entirely off the rails.
A few days later, I followed up with mental health at the base clinic, and the psychologist said he went through my file, found the psychiatrist's notes, and saw in one tiny little fucking margin that apparently nobody else saw, I'd been diagnosed with a disqualifying condition, without the psychiatrist telling either me or my parents. So I got put on med hold and recommended for administrative separation for erroneous not fraudulent, thank fuck enlistment. During my outprocessing, I let slip my knee had been bugging me, so they referred me to a civvie orthopedist who said it needed surgery and operated on it. Nine months later, it still fucking hurts like hell…more salt in the wound, I guess.
So I got thrown out on my ass because of some bullshit from back in high school and let in because even though they had the notes right the fuck in front of them they all collectively missed the part that said I can't get let in.
fc15d7 No.503611
>>503542
I completed puberty around age 12 due to being pumped with so many hormones. I haven't gotten medical hormone therapy in years and I feel/function fine. I have a partner and am sexually active. I have no sense of smell whatsoever though, which I am aware is a disqualifying medical condition as well.
I was considering getting medical evaluations and a waiver if everything checks out, but I would still have to lie about the no sense of smell thing which I really don't want to do.
This boy just wants to operate, m8.
d6e1bd No.503652
>>499205
>military wouldn't let a tanya poster join
Thank christ.
171544 No.503971
>>499440
>Narcs
>Shooting at Coast Guard Personnel
Protip: They don't fuck with the Feds )but they would fuck with the local police). Instead they lighten their load to escape. If it was some other latin country, different story
171544 No.503973
>>503509
Keep mouth shut, don't ever mention it and behave like a normalfag. You'll pass in flying colors
66627b No.503997
>failed psychological evaluation
78bf68 No.503999
>>503971
Tell me more about Narcos
e60439 No.504019
>>499482
>>499483
>gourmet food
lolwat
e60439 No.504032
>live in western europe USA vassal state pozz paradise
>want to join military but don't want to die for isreal or the eu or some other kike scam
what do? our military has a severe budgeting problem that's so bad that *trainees have to yell bang instead of actually shooting during excorcises and soldiers have to share helmets* and it's not like there is change in sight, if i lived in eastern europe it would not have been a hard choice but in this shithole i'm not so sure. Physically i'm very fit and next to having consumed marijuana and shrooms i have no dirt on me and the military is probably the only way to get some experience with full auto funs but when i imagine what i'd have to fight for it takes all the fun away
640497 No.504033
>>503997
Its just like >>503973 said, you should have acted like a normalfag and you would have been fine. Acting like a dumb kid with no self-awareness, a *normal* normal view of the world and a naive face isn't that hard.
23a2b4 No.504047
>>504033
>>503997
>>503973
>>503509
>wanting the mentally ill in the military
ecc5f9 No.504068
>>504047
Look at it from this perspective, an unhinged individual that wants access to firearms or hell just wants to kill a man for no good reason is eventually going to end up doing it anyway. Perhaps keeping murderous lunatics away from normal society and in an environment heavily monitored and regulated is a infinitely better idea. I would much prefer that mad max get his "fix" shooting up isis ragheads as oppose to chopping up little girls because he got bored one day.
That's just one perspective.
Wellington (when he was still General Wellesley) is reputed to have said - during the Peninsula War "I don't know what effect these men(Armed convicts in service to Crown) will have upon the enemy, but by God they frighten me"
23a2b4 No.504095
>>504068
That concept doesn't cut it for me. People too fucked in the head to handle normal life well shouldn't be just handed a rifle and training and shipped off with the hope that he won't in some way fuck over his fellow brothers in arms or end up committing some heinous war crime that will get blamed on the entire nation if word gets out because his brain has sad feelings. We have enough trouble with the africans in the military raping local women where they're deployed like what happened in Japan. If you aren't mentally fit for generic normalfag civvie life, why the fuck would you or anyone think you're fit for the high stress military life where you're liable to have bullets whizzing past you?
>Wellington
There's a difference between convicts and mental patients.
3afb8d No.504902
>>504095
>Not wanting the mentally ill in the military.
>Wanting to send only healthy people to the meat grinder known as war.
>Wanting to further weaken the genes of your fellow countrymen.
>>>/gaschamber/
afbeaa No.504905
>>504902
>not understanding the American mind
There's a reason we didn't let niggers fight in WWII and regulated them to ditch diggers.
c5e7b5 No.504911
>>504902
This anon kinda gets it. War is a good way to get rid of the psychopaths but on the downside it also kills brave strong people leaving only cowardly cucks, the draft dodgers and the complete genetical dead ends behind.
c5e7b5 No.504912
>>504911
tl,dr:
War is a generally a genetic net-loss.
23a2b4 No.504919
>>504902
>not wanting unstable and mentally ill people that will likely snap and start shooting their own people because they're living retards = wanting good people to die in war instead
>wanting a weak army of fucked up losers that can't do shit and get steamrolled by even the worst opponents
>wanting war outside of situations where it is absolutely necessary at all
>>>/auschwitz/
f5eb45 No.504928
>>499787
How the hell would I sneak in an inhaler when they strip search you?
703049 No.504936
>>499826
you can still fight in your own country
just have to make up your own orders i guess
and treat it as super deep insertion behind enemy lines type of deal
3afb8d No.505134
>>504919
>Not having the defects separated to their own cannon fodder platoons that are always sent in first.
>Refer to above.
>Trying to quantify something that isn't even being discussed.
>>>/oven/
3064d8 No.505173
>>504928
They don't strip search you, in theory you can smuggle an inhaler up your ass.
04a3cb No.505175
>>505134
>not just using people whom you can't trust as slave labour
>not blackmailing their families in the process
Works for retards, commies, jews, and for every other group.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labour_service_%28Hungary%29
23a2b4 No.505207
>>505134
>trusting defects at all with a weapon
>wanting them anywhere outside an asylum
Admit it, ATF, you want the mentally ill to have weapons so they can go off and do something stupid and stirr up the desire to create more anti-gun laws.
3afb8d No.505681
>>505175
The goal is to keep healthy people alive in war by putting defects up front so the enemy has to chew through em wasting ammo.
>>505207
>Implying defect only applies to the violently insane.
>Not dropping crazies with weapons deep in enemy territory to cause problems.
This is really low energy, do you sell guacamole perchance?
10f106 No.505695
>>499377
>not going navy or air force like I should of
Does the army get better after training and I actually get to my station?
e538ad No.505719
>>505681
>guacamole
>not guacamole bowls
I see through your lies ATF.
caefa7 No.505734
3afb8d No.505996
>>505719
Why would you sell guacamole bowls if you don't intend to sell what it's supposed to hold as well?
7fa0e8 No.509865
>>499205
I got rejected from the British Army for having an inhaler in 2010, even though I am well over 4 years clear.
Though it turns out, though my doctor never told me, that you have to go back to the doctor to prove you don't need an inhaler anymore.
So I now have to appeal or wait until 2019.
2a7ac9 No.509912
So I was thinking of enlisting for either Marines or Army; I have a spotless medical and police record, and I'm not a dumbass. The one problem I have is that I'm damn near eighteen pounds under the minimum weight for my height. Is there any chance of getting a waiver for that, or do I just have to train before bothering the recruiter? I guess it would probably be smartest to gain weight beforehand in any case; PT might not be so fun for someone as weak as I am.
Also I'm a burger. No idea why 8ch is giving me a Canadian flag.
e52662 No.509936
>>499205
Mate I've been turned down for more jobs than I ever cared to count. Some of them even lied to my face and told me they were really eager to hire me. I was even in the army for a bit, and it was not what I expected at all. Pozzed to hell and back. I'm not going to bullshit you and tell you that you get used to rejection, because I never have, but you just have to keep going. Real life is a forced march no army can prepare you for.
68a2b6 No.509942
>>504019
Dunno much about the coastie life, but if it's anything like the merchant marine, they get really fucking good food.
The few coasties I know are pretty chill, and you can move to civilian work easily if you want to stay out on the water. I know that there's a system for honoring sea time with USCG towards merchant requirements if you want to get your engine or deckie license and make bank on cruise, container, or tanker ships.
3064d8 No.509952
>>509912
>The one problem I have is that I'm damn near eighteen pounds under the minimum weight for my height.
They'll enlist your ass anyways, at least the USMC will, especially if you can clear the minimum IST prerequisites. Just drink a milkshake of peanutbutter, ice cream, 2 raw eggs, chocolate syrup, and oats and you'll gain 20 pounds in like a month or two. That's what happened to me. Just make sure you are hitting the gym or else it's going to be mostly fat. You don't need a waiver for underweight, hell they'll even ship your ass to MCRD if you're underweight, you'll just get double rats if you are underweight.
The recruiters will PT your ass to get there even if you can't meet the minimum requirements during the poolee functions. This is just speaking for the USMC though, I have no fucking idea what the Army does.
I wouldn't recommend it though.
301e30 No.510082
>Military lets trannies join
>Military lets aboriginals with sub-90 IQ join
>Military lets women join
>Military won't let me join because I saw a psychiatrist for social anxiety when I was a teenager
I fucking aced their tests and stuff, too. It's infuriating knowing some stupid cunt or deranged freak gets a spot, but I don't.
2a7ac9 No.510087
>>509952
Thanks for the reply. I've verified that I can pass the IST; turns out body weight exercises are piss easy when you don't weigh anything. I think gaining the weight will be fairly simple with a couple of diet adjustments and regular workouts.
4a6336 No.510111
>>509942
hello recruiter-kun, fishing for gullible idiots today too?
3064d8 No.510402
>>510087
Gaining weight is extremely easy, you can use the milkshakes that I said to do, that's what my recruiter told me to do.
Just be very fucking careful man, gaining that much weight in short amount of time, while doing very extraneous amounts of running will destroy your legs. I got fucked over bad because of this. And that's not even being in boot camp. There, it's just fucking running with a heavy ass M16 and two full canteens most of the time. Make sure you are stretching in the rack when lights are out to make sure your legs don't shatter. Never go to the medical bay, I seriously recommend that you'd go and shatter your fucking tibia over going for shin splints, because they will drop your ass for just shin splints. At least then, you have a very safe chance of staying in and not getting discharged.
f79aad No.510418
>>510082
When I was a dumbass teenager I had a few run ins with the local PD, and that was enough for them to tell me no despite my asvab being high enough to open up pretty much any MOS.
2a7ac9 No.510447
>>510402
Again, thanks for the advice. I'll make sure to do some running and gain a bit of weight before I go.
ba5496 No.510768
I am deaf so I will never enlist in SASR. Oh well the life suck sometime. ;_;
afacb8 No.510902
>>499210
That's how I got asthma too, breathing shitloads of second hand smoke as a baby and a kid. I've mostly grown out of it now though which is cool.
50d8b4 No.510933
>>504032
>the military is probably the only way to get some experience with full auto funs but when i imagine what i'd have to fight for it takes all the fun away
Visit the Czech Republic, you can rent full-auto funs there for idiotically cheap if you get a few mates to go with you.
38df0a No.517849
>>517832
Semper fi, Strelok. Its about time someone delivered on this board.
c24591 No.517853
>>517849
Who knows maybe it's for the best. r-right?
fd16cd No.517866
>>517832
Props, I thought you were fucking around.
8de725 No.517875
>17
>fucking love planes
>go for RAAF pilot
>nail initial intelligence testing
>one of the highest mechanical scores they have seen for my age
>left eye isn't up to scratch
I don't even need glasses, they just have a really high standard because they have a lot of applicants and fuck all planes.
661380 No.517877
>>517832
It's for the best you didn't get in, no enemy could resist popping a few shots at those swollen targets. You'd basically be a walking bullet magnet.
c66b3c No.517885
>>517832
That's one big nut
e60f94 No.517886
>>504095
Penal military units are decent if well utilized, as history shows.
They are best used in cannon-fodder/no-retreat situations. Or as anti-insurgency units in places where extra fear/tension would be effective and not counter-productive.
Their discipline and moral problems are mostly an issue if you utilize them incorrectly. If you don't put them to correct use, it will obviously backfire.
Now for my personal anecdote
At first I managed to get in for a decent role, in one of the branches of the armed forces, in my country.
Not really that bad, but it turns out the barracks are so fucked up with dust that my otherwise "minor" allergies keep me up all night coughing. No sleep for weeks at all.
Left because I would not even be able to study for my specialty in such shitty conditions. Heck, I'm a bit of a fucked up insomniac in the first place, but I think I'd manage, that just made it unbearable. Maybe it was more of a final straw to something that already was shitty, although otherwise acceptable.
So you can have a bit of an idea, the first thing I did when I got to our sleeping quarters was help the dude from the lower bunk clean up the several inches of lint/dust hanging from my bed down to his.
After that I frequently think about the fact that I might have wasted a decent opportunity (technical role), and a stable beginning to life, but on the other hand I managed to pull through in civilian life and have a more interesting and fulfilling life without sacrificing much to a corrupt government.
Militaries in the corrupt west don't deserve actual loyalty (they will not reward you enough for all that you might loose, they fight all the wrong battles, and they are inefficient/fucked up), I advise being responsible and choosing a steady path outside of the typical rat race.
Maybe if I'd gonne as an NCO or CO (maybe even in another branch) it would have been better, but in this case it was not possible due to fucked up eligibility parameters and recruitment openings. Because otherwise I was quite comfortably graded.
Overall, I'm glad I didn't end up serving (((NATO))).
19051b No.517898
>>517832
Jesus fucking Christ
Also trim your fucking pubes
a9268b No.517902
>>517832
Is it just me or does everyone else want to pop it in their mouth and swish it around like a jawbreaker?
c24591 No.517910
>>517832
>>517849
And that was the last time i'll ever drink tequilla before posting
401f18 No.517932
>>500507
It's about crashing the government with no survivors. You should get whatever they'll hand out in the meantime. Once the crash happens we can clean house and re-make it in the right image.
1fa47b No.517978
Hahahahaha why the fuck is this thread still alive. I've literally had time to join the army, lie about having asthma, go through 7 weeks of basic and get discharged in the last 3 months.
>t. OP
c9caf7 No.517984
>>517832
Does it feel uncomfortable? I had swollen balls once and it was terrible
c24591 No.518020
>>517984
they just feel like my balls anon.
In hindsight, I can't just sit on a chair without some prep, and I occasionally kick it by accident if i'm walking/running in weird ways… so I guess uncle sam had a point.
661380 No.518021
>>518020
Do you ejaculate a larger than normal quantity?
c24591 No.518022
>>518021
Negative
I do ejaculate a bit more than I've seen other guys in most porn video's, however that has to do with my metabolism, not the condition itself. It's basically a large pocket of water that my nerves wrapped around. It can hurt like a real testicle, but it's not actually my testicle.
8de725 No.518023
>>518022
>ejaculate a bit more than guys in porn
Holy shit anon, those guys go on special diets to maximize their cum. If you are cumming more than that without trying that is impressive.
c24591 No.518028
>>518023
not like those massive facial loads or anything. Just maybe a good 2 ropes and some puddle, nothing crazy.
661380 No.518038
>>518028
Have you ever drawn pupils on your balls, then pull your dick down in between them so your genitals look like a bug-eyed jew?
c24591 No.518079
>>518038
No but that's a great idea for Halloween anon
f80b19 No.518127
>>517978
Because this board is slow as fuck.
a9268b No.518130
>>518022
You realize men in porn get paid $1200 a scene?
Scenes take about 4 hrs to film, do the math.
Bottom/cd/conditional switch here, I have a scene filmed with canada tgirl but I'm not sure if its coming out this year or next.
c66b3c No.518131
>>518130
>Bottom/cd/conditional switch here
28eab6 No.518162
>>518130
Anon no one is going to pay to see "Freak nuts 3:the reconning"
06e7e7 No.518166
I got rejected because I'm too tall (to the point of having back and joint problems during my teens) and consequently my feet is fucking big.
a9268b No.518174
>>518162
Do you have any idea how hard it is to find male talent?
59a070 No.518521
>>518130
>$1200 a scene
Yeah, for homosex roles.
How many poz loads have you sucked down so far, leaf?
c24591 No.519301
>>518174
I'm sure I have an idea considering how strong my aversion is to that idea, you filthy degenerate.