>>151389
I feel exactly like you do, OP. I feel valued as a human (sometimes) and that I have a life ahead of me (sometimes), but RP has become an escape. I've gone through my troubles and loneliness and come out on the other side. I'm still alone and have no real-life partner, but it does not trouble me and I do not see the need to create one in my head through RP.
RP is still an escape, however, and it's one of my day-to-day activities. I was always looking for something like it when I was young. I was very imaginative, one of the 'weird kid that has imaginary friends' types. I played with my toys a lot, making up stories and characters, playing out grand fight scenes and romances. As I outgrew toys, I went into games, anime, shows and writing- I saw these worlds made my authors, designers and actors, and I wanted to do the same. Writing fanfiction or literature took too long though, and I never got any attention.
RP was a way for me to express that want, make grand stories, and lead people on twists and turns.
I suppose it's more of a way for me to vent, rather than escape. I don't self-insert. I don't 'envision' myself in my character's shoes, either- I tend to 'puppeteer' them, if that makes any sense.
It's fine OP. Writing is a talent. Imagination is a gift. There is no harm in exercising it.