Monday, February 4th, 2019 - After concerns had been raised about the methods used in the recruitment and promotion of personnel in the military, military secretaries, generals, intelligence officials, and government officials convened at 8 A.M. in the capital to discuss ways to eliminate the problem.
Questions were raised about the nature of bureaucracy, organizational issues, and nepotism among the different military branches. One general remarked "we're promoting people because they're friendly, because they're strong, and because they follow orders, not because they're necessarily the best." Another stated "we try to train our recruits to their fullest potential, but i've got way too many recruits who don't get promoted because the friendliest guy next to him got promoted instead– he was buddy-buddy with the sergeant!"
The Secretary of the Air Force and the Secretary of the Navy spoke to each-other during the rabble, and reached an agreement. "It's time to get rid of the nepotistic normalscum in our military!" Said the Secretary of the Air Force. The SecNav remarked, "with our current standards, we'd almost certainly bar somebody like Stephen Hawking from joining, and that's a problem." The Secretary of the Army agreed, saying "It's time we adapt to a modern age in which our prime candidate for admission is weak and autistic, but intelligent. Most of our recruits never worked out before joining, and many live in momma's basement." The commandant of the Marine Corps. objected, shouting "i'll be damned before i allow some weak-ass momma's boys to run my Marine Corps.!" The Secretary of the Air Force retorted, "what difference does it make how fast someone is, or how strong he is, when the only thing we expect him to do is make phone calls, give orders, and write strategy papers? What difference does it make how easily someone can socialize when he's the best decision-maker we have?"
Despite the Marine Corps.' objections, it was decided that recruitment standards would change starting March 1st. This would start with a new order given to recruitment stations– "normalfags NOT allowed!". A nationwide conscription will start on the 1st, in which the only people conscripted will be "betas, incels, robots, and autists." Not only this, but the admission standards for the military have changed as well. All personnel with an AFQT score of less than 70 points is recieving an administrative discharge, and fitness standards have been changed depending on AFQT score. For every point higher than the minimum 70, the fitness standards will become easier. The run-time will add 5 seconds per every extra point. For every extra point higher than 70, the push-ups standard will require 2 less push-ups and the sit-ups standard will require 3 less sit-ups.
When asked about the change in military recruitment standards, the Secretary of the Air Force stated that "It's time our standards became flexible to allow qualified individuals to be put in the correct field of work. The time of normalfiends running our military has come to an end. What use do we have for physical strength when we have drones and infantry assault machines at our disposal? We need brains in charge, not brawn, and we need intelligent people in charge of developing the next generation of machines. We will automate grunt work, we will automate hard work, and we will have incels in charge. It won't be long until we prove just how useless normalfags really are."