hEY SO YOU KNOW THAT THING WHERE YOU GO TO SCHOOL AND STAY IN SCHOOL DESPITE SCHOOL BEING A FUCKMARE SHIT PARADE AND BURN YOURSELF OUT KEEPING THE EPIC VIDEO GAME ACRONYM NUMBER HIGH
AND THEN CONCURRENTLY WHILE YOU'RE BUSY GETTING PTSD AND PLAYING A SPREADSHEET LIKE IT'S A JOB AND TRYING NOT TO GET THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU BY BIGGER, MORE URBAN YOUTH YOU TAKE OUT FIFTEEN DIFFERENT “EXTRACURRICULARS” THAT YOU HATE SO YOU CAN BEAT OUT THE SONS OF OIL SHEIKS FOR A SPOT AT A “GOOD SCHOOL”, AND YOU BUILD HOMES FOR CRACKHEADS AND DAB THE STUMPS OF AMPUTEES
(INTERMEZZO: THE FINAL BOSS IS YOU TAKE AN IQ TEST BUT THEY CAN'T CALL IT AN IQ TEST)
AND THEN YOU GET THERE AND YOU SPEND THE PRIME YEARS OF YOUR LIFE 18-25 GOING THREE MILLION DOUBLE DOLLARS INTO DEBT LEARNING SHIT IT TOOK HUMANITY A THOUSAND YEARS TO FIGURE OUT
THAT YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IN SIX YEARS BECAUSE OTHERWISE THERE'S NO MONEY IN KEEPING YOU ALIVE
AND IF YOU SPEND ANY TIME FUCKING INSTEAD OF DOING THIS YOU WILL BE OUTCOMPETED BY CHINESE FOREIGN AGENTS, WHO DON'T FUCK AND WHO BATHE IN THE SINK
AND BY THE TIME YOU'RE 25 YOUR BRAIN HAS HARDENED INTO A SCAB AND YOUR LOOKS ARE FADING BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN INTERN OR PARTICIPATE IN SOME FUCKO'S ILL CONCEIVED WEBAPP SCHEME
AND THEN YOU'RE 30 AND YOUR LOOKS ARE TOTALLY GONE AND THE SCAB BETWEEN YOUR EARS IS STARTING TO PEEL
BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE YOU CAN FINALLY GET LAID, YOU CAN TRADE YOUR EARNING POWER AND SECURITY FOR HER SEXUAL MARKET VALUE AND ALL THIS SHIT WILL HAVE BEEN WORTH IT
WELL THIS GUY WITH HIS FUCKING SOUNDCLOUD WANTS YOU TO KNOW THE DEAL'S OFF. GET FUCKED GIMP LMAO