No.931271
The movie was released for critics already one month before its release so here is the spoilers in case anyone here wants to ruin for normalfags (/v/ did the same for ''Shadow of War')
>The past. Hela (Cate Blanchett) attempts to usurp the throne of Asgard and conquer the Nine Realms, but is defeated by the Valkyries and exiled by her father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins). All but one of the Valkyries die in battle.
>The present. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is captured by Surtur while investigating the resurgence of the Infinity Stones, but manages to escape and behead Surtur. He then returns to Asgard to talk to Odin and learns that Heimdall (Idris Elba) is in exile in the Asgardian wilderness and been replaced by the warrior Skurge (Karl Urban) as Asgard's bridgekeeper.
>Thor finds out that Loki (Tom Hiddleston) has usurped the throne and that in Odin's absence Hela is regaining her strength. They go to Earth, where Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) helps them find Odin, who has been living as a vagrant. Hela ambushes them, destroys Mjolnir, kills Odin and strands Thor and Loki on planet Sakaar. She then forces Skurge to help her invade Asgard and slaughters its army, including Lady Sif (Jaimie Alexander) and the Warriors Three Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), Fandral (Zachary Levi) and Hogun (Tadanobu Asano).
>In Sakaar, Thor is captured by the renegade Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), who abandoned Asgard after her sisters were slaughtered by Hela. She's working as a bounty hunter for The Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum), who runs the planet's gladiator arena. Thor is captured and befriends another gladiator, Korg (Taika Waititi), who led a failed revolt against the Grandmaster in the past. Thor is later forced to fight the champion of the arena, the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), who ended up in Sakaar after the battle against Ultron. During the battle, Thor manages to harness lightning. Loki is captured by Valkyrie while trying to rescue Thor.'
>Thor finds out Hulk hasn't changed back into Bruce Banner for two years and plays old videos of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) from the Quinjet's archives to bring him back. Thor and Banner then recruit Loki and Valkyrie to help them stop Hela and assist Korg in rebelling against the Grandmaster. Returning to Asgard, they reunite with Heimdall, who leads the surviving Asgardians to an ancient temple while Thor and his team confront Hela. Skurge regrets helping Hela and sacrifices himself to destroy her army of the undead, while Hulk defeats the wolf Fenrir.
>Odin appears to Thor from Valhala and tells him that Mjolnir was only a conduit for Thor's true power. Thor gains control over the lightning, but is still unable to defeat Hela, so he sends Loki to retrieve Surtur's head and they revive him. Meanwhile, Korg and his men arrive to evacuate the Asgardians. Surtur destroys Hela along with what's left of Asgard and returns to his realms. With Asgard destroyed, Thor, Hulk, Loki, Valkyrie, Heimdall, Korg, the Warbound and the surviving Asgardians depart in search of a new home on Earth.
Mid-Credits Scene.
>The Grandmaster plays the piano among the ruins of Sakaar.
Post-Credits Scene.
>The Asgardians' ship encounters Thanos' (Josh Brolin) Sanctuary warship in Space.
No.931274
>>931271
>/v/ did the same for ''Shadow of War'
that shit was nothing compared to the boston salt party
No.931289
>She then forces Skurge to help her invade Asgard and slaughters its army, including Lady Sif (Jaimie Alexander)
I guess they had to make sure that Thor is BLACKED.
No.931292
>>931289
You meant to say Valkyrie got BLEACHED
Besides only women ever get blacked, not men.
No.931294
This is pretty asinine. Least it somewhat leads to an actual end to Asgard. Which probably only happened because all the Thor actors felt underappreciated. Or they needed some deaths that'd feel heavy without being completely plot breaking for future movies. But if Valhalla is real then this isn't really the real Ragnarok if nobody gets revived in the end for a final epic battle. Whatever. They've stepped over norse myth too much.
No.931313
> 1.) don't see this shit movie
> 2.) see it opening weekend with immigrant song playing nonstop the entire time on a boombox
wat do
No.931737
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>931271
Is OP Mark Ruffalo? lol
Oh well, new actor for hulk soon then.
No.931749
>Mjolnir is destroyed.
>The power was inside Thor all along.
>Beta Ray Bill will never, EVER appear in Disney live-action.
Even he must be thanking God right now.
No.931768
>>931313
2, except don't see it at a cinema or give them any money. Pirate that shit.
No.931787
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>931274
Those were the days.
No.931835
No.931902
>>931737
What do you mean?
Is there a rumor for a new Hulk?
I FUCKING HOPE SO
No.931981
>>931902
Ruffalo leaked a decent amount of the movie. He joked about getting fired and replaced. imo I think Disney let him leak it as a PR stunt.
No.932627
This movie is going to suck, right?
No.932666
>>931981
Random, not /co/ related fact:
I've heard from a friend he tried to play MvCI online, but literally noone plays.
No.932668
That plot… sounds horrible.
They fucked up any chance to make a Planet Hulk movie, but of couse that should be for the best.
No.932723
>>931787
>we need to do this more often
We really do.
No.932917
>>931271
>Thor is captured by the renegade Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson)
>the only black Valkyrie is a renegade
lol
No.932954
>tfw we could have gotten a fucking awesome Götterdämmerung epic but instead we have to embrace disco bullshit because Guardians sold the most
No.932972
>>931271
>Hela is Odin's daughter
>Surtur is a jobber
>The Mjolnir was inside you all along
Why even bother calling it Thor at this point?
No.932978
>>931271
>Hela is Odin's daughter and wants to conquer the nine realms
>Thor just fucking kills Surtur and just revives him later somehow
>Hulk ended up in another planet
>Hulk is shown videos of Black Widow to make him return to normal
>He then kills Fenrir
>There's a dindu valkyrie
No.933058
>>932954
>>932972
>>932978
Guardians of the Galaxy with Thor characters…
Gah why? Just make GotG3 then!
No.933059
>>933058
I don't know if it's disappointing or comforting that GotG 1 & 2 are the best Marvel movies.
No.933073
>>933059
But the best movie is The Incredible Hulk, anon.
No.933563
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>933073
Best Hulk is Lou Ferrigno FOREVER
No.933564
>>931313
i still get triggered by how hollywood and every other cunt has ruined a perfectly great song.
Anyhow, that sounds ridiculous. Remember the Street Fighter film with JCVD, where Blanca is essentially created by playing nasty videos on loop in front of him? I can't believe they're doing that in reverse for the Brucey. What a fucking shit show.
No.933570
>>933564
>>933564
>i still get triggered by how hollywood
Hey i didn't know we still had redditors coming here.
No.933572
>>931271
>hela is odins daughter
>hela is odins daughter
So not only did they get the mythology wrong, but even the comics wrong
SHES LOKIS FUCKING DAUGHTER DAMMIT
No.933650
>>933570
Well, when your life isn't focued on being sequestered in your room daily like a twat, then you inevitably come in to contact with the wider world. How can you not notice?
No.933844
>>933572
Can't lose the female fans by having LOKI a non-virgin. Haha
No.934112
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
AEther, dark magics, drow… oh my
No.934233
No.934523
>>934112
Get out to /tv/ jeremy
No.934576
Natalie Portman not in THOR3? Why bother then?
No.934667
>>931274
SoW wasn't worth it.
They fucked up the lore soto such an unbelievable degree that noone should really care about it anymore.
No.934707
>>934576
Pics related, or what?
No.934728
>>934576
>this movie is a pizza shark
???
No.934827
When's the next HULK movie?
No.934848
>>934827
Yeah, as much as Mark Ruffalo has fucking owned the Hulk role, we still haven't seen a solo Hulk film with him.
No.935354
Blanchett needed more bust
Haha
No.935386
No.935414
>>935386
Imagine being such a sperg that an inane post like that angers you and causes you to screech about a board that doesn't even consist of those kinds of posts.
No.935437
>>933058
20 more years, anons.
No.935497
>>935437
disney was a mistake
hopefully box office fatigue sets in and they give up
No.935501
>>935497
It already has. Disney is pretty much the only thing propping up Hollywood nowadays. There are now rumblings of how Samey the DCAU is. And the Infinity Gauntlet is a TERRIBLE story for adaptation.
No.935502
>>935501
Sorry I meant to say MCU
No.935504
>>935501
i guess the true indicator will be the next star wars film
No.935714
>Bill will never appear in the movies
I don't know if this is a blessing or not
No.935983
What did Disney play to use LED ZEPPELIN's Immigrant song?
No.935990
>>935437
Who's ready for the All Diverse All Direct-to-Video Marvel?
No.935998
>>935504
Episode VIII will do good, not as good as VII or Rogue One, but the Han Solo one will be a total flop.
No.936005
>>935983
Probably a lot, so they had to play it twice in a cheap way to add a very weak parallelism to the movie. Also,
>Not using Thunderstruck
Although it was in the soundtrack album for Iron Man 2, it wasn't used in that movie.
>>932972
>No more Mjolnir
At least it means no Jane "Call Me Thor" Foster for now.
No.936010
>>936005
You're implying Jane doesn't get superpowers from being dicked by thor
No.936020
>>931271
>Hel is the daughter of Odin, not Loki
>she isn't goddess of the dead
>she attempts shenanigans before ragnarok proper
>Surtur is about and about, but not leading an army of fire giants
>ragnarok isn't actually ragnarok, no gods die
Being a mythologyfag is suffering.
No.936035
>>936020
She's still the goddess of death and everyone from Asgard but Loki, Thor, Valkyrie, and Heimdall die.
No.936172
>>934827
Disney can't make a Hulk solo movie without permission or paying either Paramount or Universal, I forget.
No.936201
>>936035
I think you're underestimating just how specific the ragnarok prophecies are. The death of every god is laid out in detail. Thor crushes the skull of Jormungand, the enormous serpent son of Loki, before succumbing to his venom. Loki is slain by Heimdall, the culmination of their long enmity as Heimdall, being exceptionally vigilant, was a foil for Loki's tricks. Heimdall then succumbs to his own wounds.
The only one who might conceivably survive in a faithful rendition is the valkyrie, but only because she doesn't even have a basis in myth. That is to say while there are valkyries, no stories deal with renegades that I'm aware of.
No.936252
>>936172
Really? So HULK is in the same shenanigans as Spiderman before Homecoming?
No.936869
Just say it. It's probably one of the better Marvel films in terms of pacing and action, but it's definitely more Gaurdians of the Galaxy than Avengers. Instead of quippy humor, everyone does awkward humor instead. The opening scene features Thor dangling from a chain while Surtur monologues about how Ragnarok is coming, but Thor keeps slowly spinning around, so the conversation keeps pausing while Thor awkwardly remarks how silly the situation is.. Then he summons his hammer after a dramatic one liner and…. There's a long awkward pause and he says something of "oh.. uhh. sorry, wait, I mistimed that." Then he gets his hammer and it turns into a pretty good action scene. And that's kind of the whole movie in a nutshell. Lots of awkward humor and semi-self-aware jokes and bad dialog writing, capped with great action and set piece scenes.
The twist at the end of the movie can be seen coming from a mile away.
>Thor kills Surtur and takes his skull/crown
>takes it back to Asgard to lock it away so Surtur can't put his crown in the Eternal Flame and start Ragnarok (THAT'S NOT WHAT RAGNAROK IS DAMN IT)
>they toss the Skull in the Vault literally right next to the Cosmic Cube and the Eternal flame
>It's briefly exposited and mentioned several times that Hela draws her power from Asgard somehow
>never explained what that means
>towards the climax of the movie Thor has a flashback to Odin who tells him "The power was inside you all along!… Also Asgard is a people, not a place!"
>Thor realizes he has to make Ragnarok happen to save the day and stop Hela because apparently she doesn't want to rule, she just wants to kill everything forever because she's "The Goddess of Death"
>all the Asgardians jump on a spaceship and leave
>Loki throws Surtur's skull in the Eternal Flame which was literally right next to it
>all the heroes run the fuck away
>Surtur turns huge and starts wrecking the place
>Hela tries to fight him but he literally blows up all of Asgard
>not just the city, but the entire fucking magical floating continent
>Hela is ded because having some other death-themed villain around when they introduce Thanos and his boner for Lady Death would be confusing
No.936871
Oh, and this?
>Mid-Credits Scene.
>>The Grandmaster plays the piano among the ruins of Sakaar.
Doesn't happen.
Nigger Valkyrie was easily the worst part of the whole movie. She's got this annoying swagger in all her little movements that makes her obnoxious. Also she's constantly drunk and despite not being a God, can fight on par with them because she's an super speshul Valkyrie. Also noticed in a couple crowd scenes, they shoved a few niggers in the front to up that diversity quota, because literally 99% of the crowds that weren't aliens were white people.
No.936945
>>936201
I know. I'm just saying it still kind of happens. Kind of. But yeah, this movie butchers and just outright ignores every single basis of the myths they're barely basing their characters on.
No.937051
>>936869
I can imagine Hela to be re-purposed as Thanos' waifu. After all, she *did take the biggest lightning bolt in the world and that didn't stop her*.
No.937054
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>normies are finally catching onto the fact that forced humor is doing these movies a disservice
I'm scared for Infinity War now. This movie could have been epic in the whole Gotterdumrang aspect of it but it completely squanders the tone with shitty reddit jokes. Imagine this but with all the MCU characters present.
No.937057
>>937054
Apparently, the guy who directed it and voiced the rock monster, some Kiwi faggot, only has experience with "indie" movies, which explains why all of the humor is awkward stuttering and being obnoxiously flippant and quirky. It ruins what would otherwise be one of Marvel's better movies.
No.937058
>>937057
And because I'm sure it never stops being entertaining.. His real name is Taika (((Cohen)))
No.937070
>>937057
>>937054
I liked the humor honestly. It bugged me all movie because the humor reminded me of what we do in the shadows and low and behold it was directed by the guy who directed it.
I honestly think its probably the second best marvel movie, right after Guardians 2, but only because guardians had more of an emotional impact. While not all the jokes were winners, I was laffing a good 85 to 90% of the time.
No.937134
>Volstagg doesn't even get lines
>Valkyrie a shit
>Inconsistant rules
>Just one line mention of Jane Foster
>Awkward humor makes Thor look like an idiot
>No Gungnir laser, no godblast
>Surtur is a bitch
>Hel is shitty
They could have at least made her sympathetic but having her clueless about how to stop fighting, or show some good side- and then you pile up all the myth inconsistency and this is a 4/10 at best since the action was ok and some of the jokes landed.
No.937190
>>937070
>being a normalfag
>being THIS MUCH of a normalfag
No.937218
>>937190
>Hating fun
>Being THIS MUCH of a contrarian
No.937271
>>933844
>>937054
Thor in drag… heh
No.937275
This is the first MCU movie that managed to ward off even the most normal of my normalfag co-workers
No one in my area gives a shit about this movie
No.937292
>>933844
… but he was fucked by a horse.
No.937321
>>937218
The absolute state of NEOGAF.
No.937322
>>937054
They said the movie was okay tho.
No.937365
>>935504
I'll wait until the first marvel movie with a new cap or Iron Man comes out.
Only if that tanks hard enough I'd start to celebrate the beginning of the end for the MCU.
No.937371
>>937322
Taken as a whole, it's actually pretty good.. It's just got all these obnoxious little moments of awkward humor that once you notice them, you find yourself reflexively flinching every time yet another awkward moment happens or a character stutters their way through a line that should have been cut entirely.
No.937402
>>937371
I really don't understand how everywhere I'm reading considers this the best Marvel movie to date
They say this about every Marvel movie
They said it about Homecoming
They said it about Civil War
They’ll say it about Black Panther
Hell, they say it The Force Awakens and Rogue One too
If you take critics seriously at this point, you have only yourself to blame
No.937449
>>937051
god I just got finished rereading The Sandman and I forgot how much a lot of that was shit (mainly all the human characters) and how they ruined The Kindly Ones with such shitty fucking art. Sage because Best Death reminded me enough to post. I sincerely hope they don't try to bring Endless Death into this and go with the good old hooded skelly.
No.938252
>>937070
I didn't hate or even dislike the humor in the movie, but it still managed to ruin it. Thor doesn't act like Thor, because they wanted him to react humourously for a joke. Why is Thor screaming like a girl because the chair had kind of scary visuals? Why is he screaming like that because of someone cutting his hair? WHY IS THOR FREAKED OUT BY SMELLING BURNING FLESH? Does this movie forget that he's been a drunken asshole warrior going around starting shit and fighting in wars for the past few thousand years at least?
And the humor doesn't just laugh at Thor, who should be an unflappable nordic warrior. The humor undercuts LITERALLY EVERY dramatic scene in the movie.When Banner jumps out to become the Hulk to save people, you get treated to the shot of Bruce's human body slapping into the bridge. I honestly thought to myself, "That was funny, but I'm just pissed off they made that joke." It was Banner's heroic moment, where he think's he's never going to come back from being The Hulk and is sacrificing himself for a bunch of strangers, and they made it a moment to laugh at him. Even Asgard being destroyed was turned into a fucking joke. Before I'd always said that the MCU's strength was the ability to laugh at their characters to a degree and recognize how silly they are, but this entire fucking movie did nothing but slap the heroic characters around and laugh at them
No.938261
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>933564
>>935983
>>936005
They couldn't even use the good version of the song.
No.938481
Watched it this weekend. It wasn't bad, but it was forgettable.
Say what you want about the quirky humor, but I found it to be one of the only redeeming qualities of the movie. The plot is dumb, Hela is dumb, the Valkyrie was all sorts of dumb, the ending is dumb; and by dumb, I mean generic, bland and trying too hard to be "superhero epic", like most Mahvel movies are. Making most of it silly and taking themselves less seriously was refreshing, but it still smelled of generic superhero movie in the Asgard segments. Seriously, Hela was a boring villain, and it takes a special kind of boring for me to say that a dominatrix-type character is boring. The Valkyrie was also boring as fuck because it felt as if the higher ups had asked them to insert a strong female sidekick and just grabbed a generic strong independent sassy black woman template from the "character archetypes suits love" shelf. At least they made her a drunkie, but that gave for two funny gags tops, and the rest of the time it wasn't even present.
But the Skaar segments were funny in general. My friends and I thought the Grand Master to be fairly funny (more because it reminded us of anither character, but whatever), and the short street scenes with Thor, Banner and the Hulk festival were pretty original. I would have loved a full movie about Thor being a gladiator in a wasteland world fighting to synthwave and neon colors, like a more flashy Mad Max in the Thunderdome, but instead we got half of that and half of a generic superhero-refugee drama with a villain with a flat as fuck personality and motivations with generic Marvel music. Also Heimdall segments that probably were the fucking most generic and boring parts of the movie.
No.938516
>>938252
Nailed it. The movie doesn't respect itself enough to let any scene be dramatic or poignant, or even just remotely somber.
No.938581
>>937402
>They said it about Homecoming
>They said it about Civil War
Looks like I missed something.
Homecoming is supposed to be better then the amazing SP ones, but nowhere near as the Raimi ones.
I tough Civil War was seen as nothing more then medicore.
The last time I heard "the best Marvel to date" was about Doctor Strange and only in the visual department since the story is Iron Man retold.
No.938602
>>938581
Better special effects and a better villain make Homecoming a pretty okay-ish movie, but the actors, the script, the supporting characters, the fact that Spidey's suit is now quasi-Iron Man armor, the general arc of it all.. It's just not that good.
Civil War was a steaming turd that was a crude excuse to introduce Spidey and Black Panther. The whole fucking thing was a mess.
No.941029
Will summarize this movie short: "What We Do in Asgard"
No.941406
>>937402
It was Winter Soldier that was particularly hyped as being totally different from the other Marvel movies. It wasn't.
>>938252
People complained about how Whedon wrote Thor in Avengers but it was much better than this. So I see Asgard got destroyed and it doesn't matter and nobody cares. I mean in the audience.
No.941726
Waiting to Netflix it. Heard it was typical Disney Marvel humour and that was enough to kill whatever little interest in it I may have had.
The Dark World started off pretty good with a more serious tone that implied it was going to go the epic fantasy route - which would have been pretty good for Thor - then Kat Dennings walked on-screen and the illusion was dropped. To know that they're doing the same garbage-tier faggotry for an event like fucking Ragnarok means it's probably trash.
No.942394
I actually like how Mjolnir is explained to be something to help Thor channel his power, not the source of it. He himself IS the God of Thunder, the power SHOULD be in him without it. While Mjolnir has power of its own, it's separate, just a weapon with a living storm inside and a rule on who gets to use it.
Keeps Thor from being a title, which I think is part of the problem with the comics.
No.942395
>>942394
>Keeps Thor from being a title, which I think is part of the problem with the comics.
That a development that's only happened in the last two years. Learn what you're talking about before you fucking speak.
No.942448
>>942395
Natalie Portman to be Jane Foster THOR?
No.942450
>>942448
Natalie Portman wants nothing to do with the MCU anymore and its for the best. Fans did not like her character before.
No.942451
>>942395
>that's a development that's only happened in the last two years
And it IS part of the problem with the comics. What's your point?
No.942460
>>942450
When you are overshadowed by Kat Dennings and her lovely tumblr triggering juggs thats gonna happen.
No.942478
>>931271
>strands Thor and Loki on planet Sakaar
wow i'm shocked. Considering the fact that after Infinity War they're going to lose most of their actors (RDJ is definitely gone, and i'd be surprised if Hemsworth and Evans stick around after) I was willing to bet money they were going to adapt Planet Hulk for the "phase 4" Marvel movies. I guess it's for the best since they would've butchered it anyway, most of what makes Planet Hulk so great is the insane amount of world building and attention to detail in all of the supplemental material Pak did.
No.942494
>>942478
They fucked up Hulk so hard that they had to just fudge over the plans for Planet Hulk and cram it into this movie. No way any hollywood exec would allow a movie entirely starring a bunch of wacky looking aliens and a big green retard, who eventually has a bunch of children and then they all die, only for Hulk to go back to Earth and wreck everything.
No.942520
>>942494
Hulk is also in a weird legal limbo too, apparently they're pretty restricted in how and when they can show him in films
No.942523
>>942478
>I was willing to bet money they were going to adapt Planet Hulk for the "phase 4" Marvel movies.
>>942494
>They fucked up Hulk so hard that they had to just fudge over the plans for Planet Hulk and cram it into this movie.
No, the issue is that do to some weird legal bullshit. Marvel is allowed to use the Hulk character, but they aren't allowed to make a Hulk movie because Universal owns the only rights to distribute an actual Hulk movie. So they can have the Hulk in movies, but they can't actually make a Hulk MOVIE.
No.942527
>>942478
>and i'd be surprised if Hemsworth and Evans stick around after
Don't know about Evans, but Hemsworth said either before or after the first Thor movie that he used to read the Thor comics when he was younger, and didn't had to think twice when they offered him the role.
Might've beenn just pr speak, but considering he is also one of the more famous "heroactors" by now, I'd be suprised if Marvel would let him off the hook without trying to match whatever he wants in order to keep playing the role.
No.942528
>>942527
He's also stated that he hates working out, though. If it were up to him he'd have a lot more flab on himself.
No.942538
>>942528
You sure about that?
No.942547
>>942538
He's stated in a few interviews that he keeps the physique because it's necessary for the Thor roles. If he didn't have to constantly be Thor, he'd be a lot less buff
No.942561
>>931902
Does it matter considering they’ll never be another Hulk standalone?
No.942564
>>942460
She herself was “overshadowed” by Stellan Skarsgård‘s nudist shenanigans
No.942567
>>942538
>those delts
How much gear do I have to be on to get me some fat mushroom caps for shoulders?
No.942602
>>942547
Possibly, but that sounds like one of those "aren't I so relatable?" type comments celebs throw out to appeal to the retarded "how do I adult" reddit fags.
No.942701
>>932627
>1st pic
If only her body was in her Warbird outfit.
>>935714
Probably for the best since they might fuck him up.
No.946196
Is THOR going to lightning blast THANOS?
No.946201
>>946196
Didn't you just post this pair of images on /v/?
No.947882
Who's the WORST Thor villian?
No.947886
>>947882
Who ever the fucker that was in Thor 2 was. I don't remember anything about him, except that maybe his name started with an "M"