It sounds like you are burned out on repeating mechanical procedures without having faith in the first place. This is very bad, because these are meant to strengthen and affirm a faith that is there, not create it. Without that sincere belief no amount of ritual or knowledge can help you. Things aren’t hopeless though. Just stop and relook at things.
Remember that the peace of God makes the wisdom of men foolish. Even “knowing” theology and rites is a human device for understanding God, in the end His inner peace inside of you is more valuable than any of that. If you are incapable of internalizing His teaching I sincerely recommend you have a change of pace in life. It seems your experiences are not providing a sufficient environment for faith to grow. It’s not something mechanical that can be asked for. It’s easy in our world to get into a situation where you can’t think straight, everything is too overwhelming, etc. Your experiences clearly do not allow you to know it, but this is normal depending on a person’s run of life.
To have faith you must have the inner peace of God. Not dependence on whether He makes miracles for you or not, or a small mercy - being Christian is putting into practice what Christ taught and realizing that anything beyond that is simply not in your hands. Realize the beauty of God and His earth outside of your own little life and its problems and appreciate it. If you have accepted that then you will not act or pray out of desperation. Do not do anything out of desperation, do not sell yourself short, do not be a beggar who is fickle with his master because of hardships, always expecting something and basing your beliefs off of that.
There is no trick you need to achieve. You need to be stable with your life. You are already in a good position to reach the right path. You need to be at peace with yourself and the tragedies in your life instead of always asking God for something. I also recommend in very simple terms to tell a priest your doubts, but from the heart and not melodramatically, so that he understands it. In the very worst case scenario I recommend applying for a monastery but I believe you can live your life without that.
I and others will pray that you find your way to Him and see the clear evidence of faith.