/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>620464

>Implying

Are you female(male)?

You are married, it's your goal to have children.

Only other option I know of is to live like brother and sister, with one or both becoming a monk/nun.

>Reading too much /pol/

No such thing. I wish I can help. Only thing I can think of is to help convince him to keep the kids home schooled, away from liberal government propaganda and degeneracy.

God has a plan for it. Maybe be patient and wait for a little bit more financial stability?

>>620464

Marry me desu

>>620466

Absolutely, and by birth

>>620467

Cheers. Are there other notables who did that besides St Terese Lesiux's parents? I want to look at that like an inspiration but dammit their priest advised them to knock it off and have kids.

>>620469

I think that might be that. Hearing someone else say so is heartening, sir, thank you.

>>620470

Broken marriages, broken lives. Don't joke like that anon

>>620464

>he doesn't like kids

Bullshit

>we can't afford kids

Questionable

>society would corrupt our kids into monsters out from under us

Only if he himself is aimless, faithless, and has no ability to teach well. He was made a man to be the head of a household, and he has the potential to be one, he only needs to learn how.

>>620464

>we can't afford kids

has this chump ever heard of cloth diapers

>>620474

These things have crossed my mind… though how on earth can a man's wife say that to him without nagging/ emasculating him?

>>620476

Complicating the whole logistical problem, is that I earn much more than he does and me dropping out of the job market to raise kids would undeniably put us on the ropes, for what it's worth.

This is probably one of those situations God alone will parse out, unfortunately

>>620480

With tact and eloquence.

>>620464

>we can't afford kids

I have 6 kids. Couldn't afford a single one of 'em, but the funny thing about that is they don't care. 4 of them are adults now and, guess what … they still don't care whether or not we could afford them.

>society would corrupt our kids

That's just a piss-poor excuse. Will they rebel? Of course! But you build the foundation and it's upon that foundation they will thrive and learn.

>Maybe I'm reading too much /pol/

Even reading a single post on any of the /*pol/ boards is too much. Get your head out of that mess. It's all confirmation bias and meme-spouting nonsense with no basis in truth or reality.

>>620464

Celibacy is the preferable option. Agree to separate yourselves for a life a prayer and honor God with all your existence. To pray properly (as we ought) you must separate yourselves into celibacy anyway (don't pray improperly without doing so), so why not practice the unceasing prayer?

You're in a really difficult situation. To be honest, I'm not sure you really have an easy way out of this one. From what I can see, this boils down to:

>Husband doesn't want to have kids

>No contraception means no sex

>This is driving you up the wall

I respect your resolve for bearing through like this for two years, especially since you want to have children, but it's not healthy to continue on like this. For your marriage's sake, at the very least, if not for yours.

>Option 1

Talk with him again about having children, since you really seem to want kids. The purpose of marriage is to have children, after all, and if you're living in celibacy you shouldn't really be married. You could even get your bishop to back you up on this if you'd need to. Butting getting back to the point, part of marriage is being open with your partner, and that includes letting them know when issues are driving you insane to the point of asking strangers for advice on /christian/.

>Option 2

Live a life of celibacy and find some way to deal with the passions. It's a calling, but maybe this is it for you.

>>620464

Look into Natural Family Planning.

He don't want kids? Strange. Anyway use contraceptions and enjoy a little. Later confess. But you must have kids sooner or later in life. The sooner the better.

>>620524

>Anyway use contraceptions and enjoy a little. Later confess.

Absolutely do not listen to this, OP

>>620464

Have you considered doing outside research?

As much as I'd love to tell you to be celibate, have faith, pray…etc. Maybe a bit of initiative on your part could help.

>society would corrupt our kids into monsters out from under us

That's a pretty valid concern. And maybe your starting point. You need to find ways to convince your husband, that humanity is not as evil as he believes. If he lives in a city, perhaps you may steer him towards more rural living. (smaller communities are inherently more cooperative and friendlier)

As for your budget, forgive my ignorance as I'm not familiar with your life,… but have you made EVERY effort to save money on groceries, clothing and luxuries? You would be surprised what you could "afford".

And lastly welcome back to "The Church", sister!

>>620485

So in other words I should get to praying more

>>620496

That sounds wonderful. I wish I had better priorities when I was younger, might have done something similar. But as it stands, Im going to do the best with what I've got. Either my husband changes his mind or I resign myself to it, but i won't let it turn me into some kind of belligerent woman.

>>620502

What do you get the whole separate thing from? Is this covered in the catechism somewhere that I missed? I had assumed you could live jointly, leave open the option of kids, dedicate yourself to God etc.

>>620510

A win win situation either way, for me, if I can sell it right

>>620525

They call that presumption, I think

>>620531

>moving to a rural area

That's a pretty promising prospect… Current location is a great little town in an otherwise debased greater NYC-area sprawl, but the cost of living is bad news. We have friends in New England who've been urging us to move up there. Thinking about it, it really could shake up the earning situation in a positive direction… Maybe its a fruitful idea to revisit.

>And lastly welcome back to "The Church", sister!

Thank you anon! It's been a wonderful thing. You wouldn't believe how much both our lives have changed for the better. Its like, overnight, we turned into respectable members of society. It scares me sometimes to think about what he and I were liable to wind up as if we hadn't. <spoiler>Losers, basically. Arts and music… Not even once. </spoiler>

You want to fulfill your end of the marriage and your obligation to God to bare children, nothing is wrong with you.

>>620543

>bare children

MODS

>>620552

sensiblechuckle.jpg

If you've been married for over a decade I'd imagine you've had innumerable conversations with him on it. Pray, no doubt, that he changes his mind. In all honesty that's all one really can do, unless you're able to change his mind somehow.

>reading /pol/ propaganda

I thought you said y'all stopped being degenerates

>>620541

From St. Paul, He means from the marriage mysteries which command our silence, but it is better to live more separate because temptation arises in weakness. But if you separate yourself entirely from that and dedicate yourself in prayer (to pray properly you have to), then you can entirely celibate until your deaths.

You say that you both came back to the church, since you're completely married than divorce wouldn't be a very christian option unfortunately nor helpful. Simply having a serious talk with about what you want, and why children is the natural next step for christian marriage. Or you could be subtle and let him know about how important having children is for you. I actually agree with your husband's point of view, you would be surprised at what is shilled to your kids in education and media, and done in a way that you don't understand.

It's possible hes not ready to have kids, and is trying to have a good reason not to have one.

>we can't afford kids

make sure you have money before having kids.

I know a family member with the same outlook on the topic, maybe he would change his mind if you showed him examples of people living well outside of the system. Home schooling, sheltered children, zero access to media/or heavily screened before hand, timed computer use, It's definitely possible. It's mostly childhood and adolescence where the elite shill their terrible psychology and values on the youth. I hope god blesses you with intelligent children in this world.

>>620464

How … how did you get married in the first place? One of the essential conditions for the sacrament is openness to children.

Move to another society where your income will have more purchasing power and the social values aren't so toxic and pump out a dozen kids.

>>620630

They were married before they got married properly.

I was going to keep an annulment in mind since the marriage may not even be valid at this point. One of the conditions of marriage is openness to children.

But you've been married 10 years so I can't suggest something like that, >>620496 is your best bet. Convince your husband to have kids.

>>620593

Ah, right. That's true.

Not my first choice, but noted.

>>620615

Thanks anon. The point about the pervasiveness of corrupting forces is not exactly lost on me, either, but I guess I'm more optimistic. Or naive. What a gross video. That woman is horrible.

>>620630

I don't know what he said to the priest in private during pre cana, but it apparently satisfied him. Made me sort of hopeful.

Our parish priest knew my husband from many years back and was pushing hard to get our city hall marriage done up properly. He even waived the normal fee to hold the service. (Currently he's leaning on him to become a deacon.)

It may even happen. Hell, if anyone had told me five years ago our lives would be like this today i wouldn't have believed it. But so it goes. I'll keep praying, and wait and see.

>>620662

>but I guess I'm more optimistic. Or naive.

Just being optimistic can solves a lot of problems, don't lose that in jaded forums.

>>620662

Why not just do NFP and accept the kid that eventually comes

>>620480

>though how on earth can a man's wife say that to him without nagging/ emasculating him?

Remind him respectfully that the purpose of holy matrimony is not just companionship, but also the creation of new life. If you can't afford kids, of course, it's best to wait until you're in a more financially secure position to do so.

"I don't like kids" may also be a tacit way of saying "I'm afraid I wouldn't be a good father," though of course, you shouldn't outright say or imply that he fears that. Find a way to subtly affirm your faith in him without hinting at the possibility that he or you think otherwise.

Maybe the best approach isn't to suggest "we should have kids," but "we should be open to the possibility of having kids someday." Whether or not you have children in the future someday, it's a big responsibility and not something to rush into – yet, "never ever" is something a lot of people say when they're young, only to change their minds as they get older.

>>620615

>sheltered children, zero access to media/or heavily screened before hand, timed computer use

I'm a bit hesitant on this approach. I don't think sheltering children is the right way to prepare them for adulthood. They should be allowed to consume age-appropriate media, but as a supplement to their education and upbringing, rather than a replacement for it.

Many parents in this day and age just give their kids an iPad as a substitute for spending time with them, or let them watch or consume whatever without a mature and experienced adult perspective on them. If your kid wants to watch a movie that has some themes you find objectionable, trying to prevent them from watching it will just engender resentment and likely cause them to seek it out privately regardless. Instead, watch it with them, and talk about it with them afterward – explain your beliefs, which values and characters portrayed in the movie you find positive, which you find negative, and why. That's not to say there should be no boundaries whatsoever, of course, but overly sheltered children grow into immature, intellectually lazy adults.

Openness and honesty go a long way in parenting. Children are much more intelligent than we give them credit for – they learn and absorb information like a sponge, much more rapidly than adults. If you show that you trust and respect them, they will in turn trust and respect you.

Also, you should take /pol/ propaganda with a grain of salt. There are a lot of decidedly un-Christian and frankly amoral beliefs espoused there, and particularly with 4/pol/, the boards tend to be in a constant state of subversion and disruption. That's not to say there's nothing of value in it, but it should be approached with a discerning, thoughtful mind – consuming it all at face value can be just as harmful as swallowing mainstream media narratives at face value.

Polite sage for triple post.

>>620701

>>620704

What's the point of a relationship if all that's done is pussyfooting around issues?

>>620706

What you call "pussyfooting," some of us call "nuanced and thoughtful." OP said she is afraid to be a nag or to emasculate her husband, which to me suggests that a less direct approach is best in this scenario.

Ultimately, the most important step is really just opening the conversation, by whatever means OP feels are best suited to her relationship. It is more likely to be a constructive conversation if both parties have the understanding that the end goal is a solution that is best for both of them – not just what one or the other wants.

>>620662

I'm curious, is your husband on /pol/ as well? If so, remind him of the 14 words and how pure white children are becoming extinct. You two have to procreate to secure the future of your race. When he's mentally ready of course. Hopefully you two can have a good talk and work it out.

>>620776

Who gives a shit about race when you could make God-fearing children? You're going into this with the wrong mindset.

>>620797

You're in the minority of people on this entire website who tries to ignore race. It's a valid argument to be made for procreation, but I'll agree somewhat that it shouldn't be the only or main reason for doing so.

It's pretty clear:

If you dont intend to have children, yes you should remain celibate. He is a retard for drugging himself into not having any sexual urges and that is a sin just as much as contraception. Marriage is for men and women to come together, and fulfill the natural urges in a way thay is pleasing to God. You should be aescetic if you intend to not procreate.

Yes you should have children. Not to save the west… but because God said be fruitful and multiply! You are completely in the right and your husband (may have good intentions) is approaching the marriage completely wrong.

If I was you, you have two options. 1. Fix your husband, take him to a priest and get some sense talked into him. 2. Seek an anulment. Your husband clearly has no intent of being married to you in the proper way, so it probably isnt valid.

Birth control is a sin. Stop using it.Your marriage might not be valid if you don't want kids.

>>620797

>>620826

>Saving your race is a bad thing.

>Might be the only way to convince the husband if the Christian argument doesn't work.

And Christians wonder why Christianity gets a bad rep. I wonder how much influence /leftypol/ has on this board.

>>620464

Your husband is demoralized, it's both easy and hard to blame him at the same time. He's right about the situation being desperate and a victim of the current order but wrong and weak for not perservering through the hardships of life. The Lord shall help only those who help themselves and the road to salvation is littered with the blood of the martyrs - and the time of martyrs is coming again.

Don't give up, your demands and expectations are just. The best way to make him come around is to be supportive, firm and most of all CHEERFUL.

It's inevitably up to men to rise to fix this world, but men have no desire to even survive without a woman's motivation.

Sadly there are biological limitations and time is not on your side. Do all you can, but if it comes down to a childless life, separation will be the lesser evil and entirely his burden.

p.s. there's also a significant chance he's afraid you may betray him, steal his children and life and run off afterwards. In spite of how you may have or have not behaved in the past, we've all witnessed such breadth of heartless soul-crushing treason from women that a portion of the population will never get over.

>>620911

>Saving your race is a bad thing.

Point out where this was said or implied

>Might be the only way to convince the husband if the Christian argument doesn't work.

If the Christian argument doesn't work the husband is worthless since he's avoiding his marital duties and should be ditched quite frankly.

>>620919

have the decency and humility to be quiet, brainlet, you're not fit to give advice.

>>620911

Both /pol/ and /leftypol/ have their agents working in here; and while I am closer to /pol/ when it comes to race and such topics, at times they push it too far as well.

Both have their issues, but yes: /leftypol/ is way worse.

>>620464

>He's on meds that basically decimate libido anyway.

Let me guess: SSRI's. These are really terrible drugs, please try to get him to wean off of them.

>>620919

Gladly.

>Who gives a shit about race

>You're going into this with the wrong mindset.

>You should have children. Not to save the west…

Also

>>620919

>If the Christian argument doesn't work, the husband is useless.

>Husband automatically worthless

>Ignore the possibility that the husband may be on drugs, because a (((doctor))) "diagnosed" something in him.

Stay off the fucking board.

>>621028

The second line is conjoined with the first, and you hallucinated the third

>drugs

If he doesn't know what we, the asshole of the internet, know about psychoactive drugs, I don't have much faith in any of his abilities

>>621033

The third line referenced this >>620826

>If he doesn't know what we, the asshole of the internet, know about psychoactive drugs, I don't have much faith in any of his abilities

Eh, I'll give you that one, since OP doesn't go into detail what the meds are for.

>>621078

Why go into race? It's not a race issue at all. You're imagining things.

If your husband wont procreate, he has the wrong intentions as a husband. It's not a hard concept and race dorsnt play a part in it

>>621033

> I don't have much faith in any of his abilities

No child of God is worthless, some are just misguided or following the wrong path. pray for his recover instead of damning him.

>>621095

Like I said, OP says she goes on /pol/, if he goes on /pol/ then the /pol/ conversation about the 14 words might convince him to procreate.

>tranny thread

>>621111

that's a strange way to spell "mick thread"

>>621078

Except that wasn't me

>>621208

>>620919 asked to point it out, so I point it out in the posts I found them.

>>621254

Both posts you linked are mine

>>621687

Are you one of those Christian femanons I've heard about?

Where can I find someone like you?

>>621696

Nope. Just another lonely male.

>>621699

I THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING THIS TIME

>>621720

>>620464

Here's your answer: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

Submit to your husband and pray that God turns him around.

>>620464

Nagging is when you bother him during work or when he is taking a well earned breather. Avoiding nagging has nothing to do with the subject and everything to do with the time and the place. Talk to him during or right after dinner and it won't be nagging.

>>621907 cont.

nagging is also if you expect him to respond imediately instead of giving him some time to think.

Maybe you guys could compromise with one child? And maybe he would eventually come around to more? Or how about even fostering or adopting one child? That way if they are a degenerate, it is not your fault but you guys have tried.

In the meantime, I think you should voluntee, places with children my be good to volunteer in.

My husband and I struggled with infertility and I thought perhaps children just weren't in God's plan for us, so I volunteered and it helped give my life a lot of meaning in a dark time. we were looking into fostering, then all of a sudden I was pregnant naturall

>>625000

How old are you if I may ask? Sometimes constantly surrounding yourself with kids can really rev up the ovaries, you know the whole "gotta make babies" instinct.

Congrats btw.

This one is easy. Tell him to read his Bible.. It's right in the beginning.

Genesis 1:28 >And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

And don't worry about being able to provide for your child or children, God will take care of his children… Just have faith.

Matthew 6:30–34 >Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

>>620464

Adopting orphans is better than breeding babies yourself.

>>625532

>Genesis

When the population of the earth was only 2. No, I'm not afraid of overpopulation, I'm afraid of the overpopulation of poor people even though we have the power to help them.

>>625634

gnostics_on_my_christian.png

>>625688

What makes you think like that?