So, brethren, I know I need this answered with prayers but I thought asking for opinions from you guys might help. Background:>brought up in emotionally manipulative household>atheist father, mother says Christian but acts like an atheist>only thin

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Christanon 03/06/18 (Tue) 17:37:21 411050 No.614369

So, brethren, I know I need this answered with prayers but I thought asking for opinions from you guys might help. Background:

>brought up in emotionally manipulative household

>atheist father, mother says Christian but acts like an atheist

>only thing I ever had going for me morally is my belief in the truth

>Convert, find God

>Because of childhood I could never tell if someone was lying or trying to manipulate me because acknowledging that would force me to hate and leave my parents.

>Pray to God to do his will

>His response, I think, is that since I wouldn't acknowledge liars/manipulators mentally, it now appears as extreme physical revulsion.

I can't be around my mother without feeling physically ill and anxious but, suddenly it applies to random people I meet as well. I can tell how evil a person is by how revolted I am. And- it's not about sin. What repulses me is their level of self-delusion and willingness to speak falsity but I literally can sense it before they open their mouths.

The problem: I'm so adapted to social grace that, despite the revulsion, I stick around and give myself panic attacks, and anxiety instead of getting the hell out of there like I know I should?

How do I break social conditioning to ignore the gift God has given me and learn how to get the heck away from evil people? Just in general, how do I learn to ignore social conditioning to obey the Holy Spirit- I've been a failure on listening to God because I don't want to embarrass people or get myself ostracized but, really, I don't care about them over God. It's just that, when God gives me this stuff, I just freeze up. What do? Any tips/thoughts?

Christanon 03/06/18 (Tue) 18:02:15 ee37cc No.614374

>I can tell how evil a person is by how revolted I am.

Are you sure of this?

How sure are you of this?

You realize I'm mostly going to hit the parts that look odd since you need to find a actual priest not strangers on the internet?

Christanon 03/06/18 (Tue) 18:13:56 411050 No.614379

>>614374

Reasonably sure. See, the reason for my certainty is that, because of social conditioning, I keep sticking around people that revolt me.

Basically, I would try and ignore the feeling to my physical detriment because for the longest time, I thought it was just run-of-the-mill anxiety and, when I realized certain people were correlated with it, I didn't think it was them.

However, all the people that made me feel that way, that I have spent sufficient time with, I've caught in pretty serious lies and they eventually- since they couldn't keep their traps shut, would admit to some pretty heinous world views and actions towards others.

I came to the conclusion about what this new sensation was after about a year and a half of dealing with it.

Christanon 03/06/18 (Tue) 19:16:48 ee37cc No.614395

>>614379

>since they couldn't keep their traps shut, would admit to some pretty heinous world views and actions towards others.

Nice, nice. Have you tried pressing the people that DON'T bother you?

Christanon 03/06/18 (Tue) 20:43:19 411050 No.614417

>>614395

I never pressed them. I don't do that sort of thing. I explained in my original post that I'm very socially conditioned to be agreeable- a bit of a doormat unfortunately.

They say pretty damning stuff, whether because of their narcissism or because of something else, I don't know. Since I'm agreeable, they probably realize they can tell me stuff and I'll just nod. If I call them out for it, I do it far more gently than they deserve.