I do not consider myself a christian, at least, not a proper one. I was raised as one by an ever reasonable father, and experiences in my childhood leave me with the inescapable knowledge that there exists a conscious being after death. Even with this knowledge though, I could not help myself to all manner of sins.
That was so come a week or so ago. Since then I have strangely become wholly calm, with my addictions seemingly vanishing into nothingness, urges and all. I'm eerily calm, and just mentally present. It is difficult to explain. Even with this, however, I find myself rather hesitant returning to the Christian faith, even though I know it is right for me. With how I am right now, I no longer have any kind of sins holding me back, so why can't I reason myself forward?
I don't post here too frequently, but I feel like if I can talk to anyone about this, it's you lot.