Sometimes I really feel like God has predestined me to hell…
I don't feel like a true Christian, I don't know why but, I have so many doubts over things like my baptism, for example. Everything wad done right, it was full immersion in the name of the Trinity. But what if the intention of the minister doing it wasn't what I, and other around me, thought it was? I mean, I don't have that much of a reason to worry about his intention as he was a very God fearing seemingly orthodox man. But what if he wasn't and nobody knows? I obsesses over things like that and am currently obsessed over that topic now.
I feel like I'm not part of the elect and that God has predestined me for damnation, or, at least has passed me over for salvation. I'm not even a Calvinist, nor do I adhere to Sola Fide, but I have strong strong faith in God's providence and predestination for all things.
I just feel like my destination is hell and that I'm not really a Christian or a part of the body of Christ… I hate these thoughts. God feels far sometimes. Does anyone else experience these. I really need advice spiritually.