/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>593057

>All of my life my deepest desire was to have an ideal boyfriend

>boyfriend

FIND A HUSBAND

You're fearfully and wonderfully made, and God's got someone for you somewhere.

I hate using this style of writing, but this is a long post so pls forgive.

>It's not that I don't believe in God, but I feel like He doesn't help me at all with my current situation.

Do you mean that he isn't giving you a partner right now? Sometimes I'm not happy that I don't have a partner, but what we should be thinking is that perhaps we are simply not ready for a relationship yet. Whatever God does, is for the purpose of our salvation. But, of course, we should always look out for a potential boyfriend/gf/wife/husband because:

>All of my life my deepest desire was to have an ideal boyfriend.

the desire for a woman/man is the most natural desire there is. Honestly, only preceeded by God, it's the only thing worth living for.

>As embarassing as it is, when my crush likes another girl (which happens every time) I feel devastated and get extremely extremely jealous.

Eh, don't be too hard of yourself. We're hardwired to fight for the opposite sex. Everyone does it. But, sure, don't be jealous.

>face and body looks sorta androgynous/manly for a girl which makes me feel even more like an outcast.

Maybe that's just the way you see yourself. People have different tastes. Maybe someone you find attractive also finds you attractive, but no one wants to make the first move.

>All of this just for reproduction?

Marriage is not for reproduction. Sex is also, not just for reproduction. Marriage is the ultimate expression of love. It's a symbolic representation between the love of Christ for his Church. The Bible says that men should love their wives as Christ loved the Church. And Christ died for the Church.

>something that'd give me hope that I can find some happiness

Only thing i can say is that you should find happiness in the Lord. When you have a moment of sadness, when you feel like crying, just say "Lord, have mercy on me a sinner!" Or any other prayer. Prayer is important. Just pour out your heart to God. Psalms are very good for this. Also, confess your sins, and take Communion.

God bless.

>>593064

Yeah that's what I wanted to say, a husband, but being socially awkward and insecure doesn't help. I'm 19 and I have been lonely and single all my life, I don't even know where to start.

>>593065

Thanks, I just wish that things were different. I feel so much like an outcast and it's very difficult for me to connect with people. I feel like a lost cause sometimes since I really don't know what to do.It's not that I want God to give me partner right now, but at least some source of happiness that can help me cope with the loneliness or some sign.I understand that He hardwired us like this, but it's not fair that some people can be so lucky with dating and marriage while others have never experienced being loved by the opposite sex. It doesn't help that my parents want to divorce, this just makes me even more hopeless.

>>593067

For now, try praying. But the best thing would be to talk to a priest. Im not sure where you stand on the whole denominations thing. If you're protestant, talk to a pastor then, it's good to have someone to at least listen to you. If you're Catholic, even better. But you should seriously consider going to an Orthodox priest. I don't mean to turn this thread into an argument, im not here to convert you, but im just telling you what helped me. Also, here's a nice talk, it's pretty long, you really should listen to it, if not for the religious message, then at least for a nice little autobiography of this monk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9pSEhMbcsc&t=2976s

>>593068

Well my country is orthodox and I was baptized as a baby. I didn't really choose this denomination but I'm fine with it. There are a lot of churches where I live so I guess finding a good priest to talk with shouldn't be difficult. The problem is that I'm embarassed to say such things out loud… and since I was a kid I kind of avoided priests, I don't know why, I didn't feel very comfortable around them.

>>593067

>socially awkward

It's a good thing, you know, not to be conformed to (((society))). I know it sounds trite, but we all have our crosses to bear, and it sounds like you're probably a lot purer than some of your peers as a direct result of bearing yours.

Like the orthobro said, spend time in prayer. Remember that we're not made for ourselves but for one another, and ultimately for the Glory of God. The more work we do for God and His creation, the less we focus on our own faults, doubts, and shortcomings. Plus it gets our mind off of our immediate desires nd allows our Father time to set things in motion. A watched pot never boils, right?

God bless you in your trials.