`Twas the night before DOOM,
all through the house,
had set up my multi-playing networks,
with a mouse.
networks were strung,
extra special care
hopes that DOOM,
would be there.
children were nestled all snug in their beds,
visions of demons danced through their heads.
my computer's processor it was so quick,
was I glad I bought that 486.
out on the Internet there was a Usenet posting,
dialed right in to see what it was boasting.
to the news reader I flew like a hound,
no," I cried! The news reader was down!
, bewildered, feeling really low,
leaned back to see what I heard out the window.
what to my wondering eyes should appear,
a group of 6 cars, driving 60 I fear!
a big young driver, just look at him go!
knew in a moment, it must be John Romero!
the speed limit, his band of cars came,
he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
, Jay! Now, John!
, Dave and Kevin!
, Adrian! On, Sandy!
, Shawn and Robert!"
the top of the driveway!
hit that wall!
stop your car, stop your car, stop your car all!
the car, he entered the house,
quietly, so as to not wake the spouse.
was dressed in a T-shirt, and a a pair of jeans too,
was unsure of what he was going to do.
of DOOM he had flung on his back,
he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
boxes - how they sparkled! The shrink-wrap so tight!
character was drawn on the front, just ready to fight!
Chain Saw and Shotgun he held in his hand,
was the BFG9000?: The best gun in the land.
then I saw it, strapped to his back,
with a copy of the "Official" DOOM FAQ!
wink of John's eye and a twist of his head,
gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
it on the network, then turned with a jerk.
placing a hand into his jeans,
came his keys - oh how they gleamed!
sprang to his car, to the id team gave a whistle,
away they all drove, like DOOM's launching of a missile.
I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HELLISH NIGHT!"