20fd33 No.14491083
>Experience Lara Croft’s defining moment as she becomes the Tomb Raider.
20fd33 No.14491090
Oh, and that's all the information they're officially giving out.
472cf2 No.14491101
>>14491083
If they don't amp up her tits and give her smartass quips and sex appeal then that's not the real Tomb Raider.
13493e No.14491104
Isn't Tomb Raider just a gigantic Feminist wank now though?
13493e No.14491117
>>14491109
Feminists are really confusing. How can you be "pro-female" and yet feel like women need to be more masculine to be badass?
5cf8a7 No.14491120
>>14491083
>amp up her tits
>her
>implying
Lara is a man now.
95f890 No.14491121
>>14491104
Yes, all financed thanks to Nier Automata.
472cf2 No.14491123
>>14491109
>confident in her sex appeal and quipping badass is not "badass"
>weak, skinny coward skank is "badass".
The left's power to twist reality is amazing.
191284 No.14491125
>>14491120
We've heard of having too much soy, but holy shit, this is what happens when you have too much estrogen.
191284 No.14491127
TESTOSTERONE
is what I meant.
211d8f No.14491129
>Multiplat Uncharted
>Now with less tits
Great, at least IO Interactive is still alive unlike Core Design
a0d721 No.14491134
So maturing involves losing your tits?
Is that how it works?
5cf8a7 No.14491135
>>14491125
>>14491127
It's just another case of the androgynous tranny invasion of Hollyjew. It's so fucking ridiculous I basically call internet rules on everyone on TV/movies:
"Welcome to the internet (and Hollywood); where the men are men, and so are the women."
c4c68c No.14491140
>>14491109
Just meme that they're making her flatter to appeal to lolicons and you could get your beloved udders back
472cf2 No.14491142
>>14491134
It's about making the small titted femishits feel better about themselves by putting someone that doesn't have a better body than them on the spotlight.
That makes me wonder why all the femiwhales with gigantic fatty tits didn't get mad at this trend though.
36357f No.14491150
I'll just play the originals
211d8f No.14491156
>>14491140
>>14491109
>2008
<Don't hit on me silly boys
>2018
<STOP BEING SEXIST SHITLORDS!!!
http://archive.is/hRAbz
e616c7 No.14491157
>>14491150
>remake based on the mobile versions
Why not just pirate the gog versions?
b6605e No.14491164
>>14491117
It's not necessarily about being masculine, it's more about being repellent to straight men.
Feminists find male sexual attention degrading and repugnant, so any female character that gives you a boner is an insult to all women, they see it as rousing starving beasts.
The more sexually repellent to straight men they can make the character the better, the only limitation is that being (semi) human themselves, they too are programmed to appreciate beauty, so they have to struggle with not making the character too repellent for themselves too.
211d8f No.14491165
>>14491157
Depends on the quality of the versions
Carnivores for example has it's better version on mobile.
472cf2 No.14491188
>>14491156
Hollyjew producers would certainly love to disagree that the movie is just for them because if the movie was only for the extreme hardcore SJWs then it would bomb like fucking nuclear bomb over Japan.
4fc8d9 No.14491192
>>14491164
>it's more about being repellent to straight men.
That's what masculine women do.
4ce8a1 No.14491205
>>14491104
really it's just uncharted lite but with collectables. The plot and characterization are barely there.
211d8f No.14491209
>>14491205
>Uncharted
>Plot and characterization
A negress beats Drake
eae846 No.14491211
>>14491083
After Tomb Raider (2013), fuck no. I haven't liked anything Square has put out since FFX, so…no. Fuck no. Fuck these (((Hollywood))) imitation "games".
>>14491120
>>14491156
See attached.
ab9439 No.14491216
>>14491109
>Shooting Velociraptors(Utah) in the face with a shotgun
>Breaking out of Area 51 with nothing but mad gymnastic skills and a pair of uzis
>Making extensive use of bazookas against giant alien meteor-infused spider mutant demi-god
>not badass
These fuckers have no idea.
These fuckers have absolutely no idea.
In fact, I'll go so far as to wager the dumbshit who wrote that couldn't even get past the first quicksand pit in TR3, if they even played it at all.
Yeah, the one about twenty seconds into the first level, right after that hill
211d8f No.14491245
>>14491216
Nigger do you actually think journos play vidya?
Even if they did they would still ignore what they played to virtual signal.
The fuck who wrote that probably never touched Anniversary because it's "too retro", much less the originals which don't handhold you at all.
8014be No.14491287
>You guys ready for SquarEnix to finish their magnum opus?
FF7?
Tomb Raider is fucking gay, dude.
It's nothing but femiwank propaganda now.
ab9439 No.14491289
>>14491245
What can I say, I'm an optimist.
And even with all that sunny shiny optimism pouring outta every crack, no I don't think did ever play any of the originals and they're typically worthless hacks.
a02f19 No.14491291
>>14491156
This shit reminds me of Ghostbusters (2016), remind me again did that do well
a67bb6 No.14491299
>it's been 3 games
>are you ready to become the Tomb Raider?!
No.
76cd11 No.14491312
>>14491120
Wait a minute, that body figure…
a02f19 No.14491319
>>14491211
but what about muh neer potaoes anon
331462 No.14491335
>>14491209
Drake and his brother, at the same time
390aed No.14491412
>>14491209
>that webm where black bitch gets double tackled like it should happen in real life.
Anyone still have this?
a67bb6 No.14491549
>>14491431
Excuse me, but are they fucking in a pawn shop?
2aedc5 No.14491568
Meso-America could be pretty fucking cool. I was really in to the Mayans as a kid for some reason.
Hopefully this is the end of the trilogy and then they go back to B-movie pulp novel adventurer Lara.
But that will never happen. :(
caedb6 No.14491575
>>14491549
>>14491431
This isn't Battletoads!
b02ffd No.14491580
>>14491205
>really it's just uncharted lite
Sad, considering the only reason why I bought the Uncharted Collection was because it was basically Tomb Raider-Lite with Gears of War shootan, but fuck man - you take what you can get. Now Tomb Raider is a shallow derivative of a derivative of it's former glory.
And yeah, while the Uncharted games suck, at the very least there was some good bantz between Nathan and Sully and Blondie MacTits that made the journey a little less painful. Also, it's worth playing through one of the original titles at least once to unlock Doughnut Drake.
At least Doughnut Drake has bigger jiggly titties than nu-Laura Croft.
b42a05 No.14491616
>>14491109
>See how Lara Croft evolved from a strong respectable sexy woman to an annoying cunt who's perfect for rape-sfmporn.
c46088 No.14491652
That is what you get in the long run when you pay for video games. You fund a company that can turn to shit overnight.
Always get them for free.
ed4fe4 No.14491735
>>14491120
>>14491109
Gib me back fun, huge tittied posh laura. Give her back. I fucking hate this shit
20fd33 No.14491761
>>14491735
They will at the end of the game, to which they'll show, in graphically detail, Lara's torturous boob job that she suffered unwillingly and how it scarred her character, and that she went on to continue exploring the world in defiance of her now enormous chest to show that she is still a strong independent woman despite the defilement her body suffered and the constant rape glances she always experiences whenever she passes any man. It be a great story for porn if they didn't take themselves so serious.
eae846 No.14491762
>>14491319
Did I stutter motherfucker?
FUCK SQUARE
4c8d3e No.14491772
>>14491109
>She wasn't an iconic badass before
>Incredible gymnast and marksman while also an intelligent archaeologist
>Sexy as fuck yet didn't need to sleep with anyone and in fact teased men just for her own amusement (The old Tomb Raider movie with Angelina actually screwed this up by giving her a love interest, but everyone likes to see Angelinas body so I understand why they did it)
Feminism isn't really about making women powerful, it's about ugly rejects getting off on dragging powerful women down.
f726c1 No.14491777
>>14491164
That's not entirely accurate.
Feminists have always watched more attractive women get the attention from men. This creates the resentment towards men. If they could murder the pretty girls that we took to prom in high school, they would. Instead they murder the pretty girls from the games we enjoyed in middle school.
a64385 No.14491781
>>14491772
Also about not feeling bad about themselves that a strong woman with confidence and sex appeal is on the spotlight while they themselves are dirty, ugly, unappealing and even more of a coward mess than current Lara is :^)
0ed770 No.14491839
>>14491109
>Lara "I hate tombs" Croft
>badass
Rhianna Pratchett is a shitty writer.
215df2 No.14491855
>>14491083
Who asked for this? Why are SE burning money making a sequel that sold so poorly? Why aren't they giving people games they actually want?
>>14491109
>iconic badass
>cries like a bitch and whines incessantly
>implies the real Lara wasn't a badass
It's hilariously easy to tell they don't play games.
0ed770 No.14491862
>>14491855
>Who asked for this?
They kind of had to. The previous game despite the shitty story ended on a cliffhanger.
215df2 No.14491867
>>14491772
>but everyone likes to see Angelinas body
Not since she went full amazon on her tits. And even before that, she aged like milk. She was reasonably attractive in Hackers and it was a downhill from there, and you know she fucked her father and brother.
>Feminism isn't really about making women powerful, it's about ugly rejects getting off on dragging powerful women down.
It's about killing a people. No better way to make the birthrates plummet than to introduce feminism into a culture. It warps women into disgusting creatures men want nothing to do with, and is basically incurable without concentration camps.
>>14491862
Yeah, and? Plenty of games that end on a cliffhanger never got a sequel. Why is this piece of shit different?
91e0ea No.14491875
>>14491652
This. We need a way to wire money directly to the actual guys involved with making games and not the executive pedowood faggots.
0ed770 No.14491884
>>14491867
>Why is this piece of shit different?
Because reboot, gril power and it's written by the daughter of Terry Pratchett.
20fd33 No.14491887
>>14491884
>Terry Pratchett
I feel like I should know that name, but I don't.
215df2 No.14491888
>>14491875
None of this would be a problem if being a leftist carried a death sentence.
>>14491884
>and it's written by the daughter of Terry Pratchett
That cunt can't write for shit. The best you can say about her is that she had the good grace to leave her father's work alone, though even Prtachett was a cocksucking liberal faggot.
3e5558 No.14491895
>>14491109
this is so bad it almost looks like sarcasm
91e0ea No.14491902
215df2 No.14491925
>>14491895
Leftists are incapable of humor because they lack a soul.
49e893 No.14491960
>>14491156
>This movie isn't for you shitlords!
>Fucking shitlords why did you make our movie bomb?!?
This is going to be Ghostcunts all over again.
0ed770 No.14492048
>>14491156
Also didn't that fridge complained that her movie didn't have enough female characters?
215df2 No.14492107
>>14492048
I still refuse to believe it is female. You really have to go looking for the embodiment of anti-Lara on purpose to hire this ugly goblin.
49e893 No.14492133
>>14492107
It's weird it's like she has a negative bust size. Did they have to do surgery on her to get like that? It just looks unnatural. Like even the flattest woman sticks out a little but it's like her chest is trying to cave in on itself.
cb24d4 No.14492224
>>14491164
No, it's about wanting to possess the qualities that you find attractive. Women went from wanting men to wanting to be men because they didn't value their own qualities anymore. You can see the same thing in the tranny explosion amongst men.
ee5cf9 No.14492249
>>14492048
>>14492107
>>14492133
That unappealing rectangular body with practically zero hips to waist ratio. If you see that body type there is likely jewish DNA involved.
a2431a No.14492268
>>14491120
Flatties don't work in 3D.
49e893 No.14492274
>>14492268
It might if she wasn't ugly with a 12 year old boy's body.
60f517 No.14492370
8af491 No.14492390
>>14492107
She looks like she took steroids while weight training for her movie. Her body fat percentage is practically zero and her skin is no longer puffy and soft from estrogen.
fcaa83 No.14492409
>>14491120
>>14491156
>lets take one of the most voluptuous videogame characters and make the most absolutely flat actress play her
<wtf! people are upset! how will they react to a nigger disabled Samus with a skintight Power Suit!
Really motherfuckers?
>>14491164
>it's more about being repellent to straight men
Which is a lost battle, I'm sure there's faggots who think Vikander's physique is attractive. I mean at the very least get someone with some more pronounced hips, goddamnit.
215df2 No.14492430
>>14492390
I'll take your word for it. I wonder how she feels considering she has the proportions of a boy.
>>14492409
It's not like NuLara hadn't already shat up the character completely. All they're doing now is raping the corpse.
a61985 No.14492436
>>14491083
Rise of the Tomb Raider was actually pretty decent. Felt like a B-movie version of indiana jones
215df2 No.14492457
>>14492436
>removed the only worthwhile element, the dyke nip, out of Tomb Raider
>gave us the nigger instead
Bravo SE!
b8831d No.14492497
>>14492436
Are you kidding? It was the same fucking game as the first with an even more dog shit story.
86b0bb No.14492537
>Not actually gameplay
Of course not. When they rebooted this shit, it looked like they added asscreed maps/collecting and the last of us mechanics. What happened to running around with double handguns and shooting the shit out of everything? THAT was fun, this copied shit isn't.
c46088 No.14492564
>>14491875
That, or take down the whole industry as it was done with the music industry. Creating an environment where people simply stop buying the product and those that create do it for passion, as they won't make much profit from it.
>>14491888
So push for it to become real.
There are already leftists being killed for being leftists.
Just push for the normalization of killing them.
e03bb1 No.14492642
>>14491616
>rape
The game is borderline gore porn, so might as well make it ryona
60f517 No.14492685
>>14492642
>lara is for guro
>the bitch for bioshock forgot her name is for anal vore
>2b is fucking horses
0ed770 No.14492758
>>14492436
>Rise of the Tomb Raider
>pretty decent
It was worse than the reboot. The story was dull and the characters so boring. Why did they chose to have the fat black guy as a sidekick instead of the asian girl?
211d8f No.14492774
>>14492436
Do you own an Xbone or something?
67218b No.14492832
>>14491761
>>14491772
Old Lara is the best lara, our way is the old way
cbb652 No.14492860
>Experience Lara Croft’s defining moment as she becomes the Tomb Raider.
>third entry in the reboot series
I haven't played any of these, but am I to believe that there hasn't been a single tomb raided these last two games? What has Lara been doing?
<The Godfather III
>Experience Michael Corleone’s defining moment as he becomes the Godfather.
<Spider-Man 3
>Experience Peter Parker’s defining moment as he becomes Spider-Man.
<Star Trek: Beyond
>Experience James Kirk's defining moment as he becomes Captain of the Enterprise.
9cf271 No.14492872
>>14492860
>What has Lara been doing?
From what I remember hearing…
>nuTomb Raider
<Killing everyone on the island
>RotTR
<"Where are you, daddy?" meanwhile killing everyone in the mountains
441b42 No.14492886
>>14491735
>wanting fun lara
113081 No.14492888
>>14491083
>I hate Tombs Raider 3
Why the fuck are they still trying with this shit, didn't the last two games flop spectacularly.
91e0ea No.14492896
>>14492888
It doesn't matter how hard a game flops because this is Square Enix. They'll just take one of their smaller successes and use it to fund their pet projects.
211d8f No.14492899
>>14492888
Shadow of the Womb Raider anon
Like these fucks aren't completely creatively bankrupt.
bb52f1 No.14492937
But Rise barely sold seven copies, or some shit, how in the fuck do they think that this is financially sound?
5ad5d1 No.14492956
>Dude! She totally become THE Tomb Raider this time! Please keep buying these shitty games that only have epic and completely meaningless nods to the original series while adding even more crap that doesn't need to be added just so we can remain "in" with the crowd that really just wants every female character to be same exact basic white bitch who carries a fucking bow and arrow around!
Yeah, I am fucking ecstatic, man.
159e64 No.14492968
>>14492899
I would say its "just a shadow" of tis former self.
211d8f No.14492983
>>14492968
All of those actually make sense though
Rise and Shadow on these shitty games are nothing but template fucking subtitles.
312c6f No.14492987
>>14491150
>the developer says it's looking at doing the same for GOG but isn't sure if it's going to be possible
What is this blatant lie even supposed to be taken as?
fcaa83 No.14492999
>14492436
>1st hour of the game
>long unskippable of boring mountain climbing
>get to a checkpoint
>game introduces crafting
You can do better to earn your (you)s.
405a3d No.14493015
>>14491083
call me when they let you go dual pistols
312c6f No.14493027
>>14492998
>Battleborn "was inspired by Ghost in the Shell" now
a61985 No.14493029
>>14492758
Samoan guy appears for the first 5 minutes of the game then never again.
>>14492774
I got it on the steam store for $10 with all the DLC
211d8f No.14493030
>>14493015
>Implying
Enjoy your bow and arrow pussy
That will surely make you "badass"
211d8f No.14493036
>>14493027
>Jace
I told you fuckers it was fake
You didn't listen
>>14493029
You're a dumb nigger
113081 No.14493046
>>14492998
>Badass is the new epic
God damn i thought they were past this.
60f517 No.14493048
>>14493030
Is there a way to make a bow cool outside of the historic sense?
0ed770 No.14493050
>>14492860
>>14492872
<"Where are you, daddy?" meanwhile killing everyone in the mountains
I think they've even removed the supernatural stuff in Rise of the Tomb Raider.
They were so full of themselves that the game ended on a cliffhanger, despite that nothing interesting was happening.
dae2c7 No.14493069
>>14491109
It's obvious that anyone who says or thinks that has never actually played the games. Everything is only outside and face value. Well, guess now I'll just go back and play the original games. Seriously, fuck modern gaming.
312c6f No.14493084
>>14493036
The sense of showmanship that Christian Weston Chandler brought to his life being a trainwreck of historic proportions ruined everything for everyone and by that I mean set the stage for a certain performance act of historic proportions
14a082 No.14493099
>>14493015
Call me when they stop taking themselves seriously.
>>14493048
Unless its a holy or cybernetic bow, then not really.
211d8f No.14493103
>>14493048
Low technology
That's about it
>>14493050
The Stormguard in the first game were absolute fucking trash anyway.
What they teased in pre production was way suuperior
acefc8 No.14493162
>>14491109
this is the most retarded shit i've read in years
original Lara was even more Mary Sue than MaRey Sue and she knew it
not even the fusion of James Bond and Batman would be good enough to match her
Nu Lara is just a crybaby, she never acted, but simply reacted in responce to the shit going on around her, while old Lara was the one mooving the plot forward, she was the bad ass people didn't dare to fuck with unles they had a small army she didn't need to be brave like nu Lara simply because old Lara was fearless
she was so bad ass she could dual wield pistols while doing acrobatic backflips through the air and killing Atlantean inmortal warmongers, giant fucking fire dragons, alien mutants and the mother fucking egiptian god of Hell himself
even at her sweet 16 she was a tomb raiding demon slaying bad ass
but god forbid some neckbeard may fap at her tirangular tits
better turn her into Nathan Drake but with out his pair of iron cast balls
0ed770 No.14493174
>>14493162
>better turn her into Nathan Drake but with out his pair of iron cast balls
It wouldn't be a bad idea since Drunckmann turned Drake into a beta with a boring life.
acefc8 No.14493236
>>14493099
>fights a Leviathan
>dual guns a T-rex in the face
>wields Excalibur
the ony character i can think of who is more Bad Ass than old Lara is Dante
and she even does all of this stuff without Dante's Demon powers
8014be No.14493254
For fuck's sake, TR isn't even a Square game, it's a fucking Eidos game.
And it's not even Eidos' magnum opus! Hitman is!
95c8c6 No.14493265
>>14491083
>more flat chested and soulless Croft
>to make matters worse Tomb Raider is getting a new movie based on the most feminist title in the series
What a horrible way to go for a beloved sex icon of the 90s. Also fuck you squeenix, you westernized cunts.
ed7ead No.14493293
>>14493254
Eidos is a publisher
Not a developer
IO Interactive developed Hitman
And Square surprisingly enough let them have the Hitman IP when they saw they couldn't make a buck out of it.
c6176f No.14493294
>>14493288
That's actually genius.
Maybe the game was expected to sell like shit, so the only way they saw to make money was to get Microsoft to throw shekels at them.
acefc8 No.14493298
>>14493254
and who owns Eidos?
if Squenix has nothing to do with Nu Raider?
whay do we see their name in the credits
>it's not even Eidos' magnum opus!
i don't remeber agent 47 having his own magazine with barelly 2 games out
i don't remeber agent 47 having 2 well know movies that sitll air on TV every now and then
i don't remebr agent 47 doing crossover with Witchblade and Phanthom in Top Cow Comics
acefc8 No.14493311
>>14493288
>checked and heiled
BURN!!!
1ec7e5 No.14493313
>Finish
There's no money in finishing shit. It will continue to be milked until it dies of pure stagnation.
113081 No.14493319
What the cuckchan nigger doesn't realize is Eidos is now a developer, the publisher eidos was renamed to Square Enix Europe, while the developer for their "hits" like Thi4f, the "tomb" raider games, and deus ex is Eidos Montreal.
14a082 No.14493331
>>14493236
And that is what I missed most when it comes to Tomb Raider, it never had taken itself seriously and Lara was such a fun character, going on these crazy journeys. I would like to do all of this once again, but no, never ever again can we actually have fun in this series. Modern gaming is such a joke, I want it to crash and burn already.
>>14493265
>>14493288
Is it possible for someone else to buy out Tomb Raider from them, Squeer Enix needs to stop.
0ed770 No.14493364
>>14493294
That actually was the plan. After the "relative failure" of the reboot (the game sold well but the gooks blamed their western studios for Square's low revenues of that year, ignoring the real failure that was the FF XIII trilogy) Square didn't want to invest a lot into RotTR so Microsoft gave them money in exchange of a temporary exclusivity. The game didn't sell enough copies to satisfy the gooks so they fired the CEO of Crystal Dynamics.
0ed770 No.14493407
>>14493331
>Is it possible for someone else to buy out Tomb Raider from them, Squeer Enix needs to stop.
This is supposed to be the final game of the reboot series so if the game tanks then Square Enix might pull the same shit that they did with IO Interactive and let Crystal Dynamics go.
0d8cdf No.14493495
>>14491164
This. Feminist dykes hate the competition.
613026 No.14493508
>>14491109
I miss the old Lara. She was sexy, fun and didn't take herself seriously.
I don't miss the tank controls though.
613026 No.14493519
>>14493265
>You will never see an official Duke Nukem/Lara Croft crossover.
0ed770 No.14493524
>>14493519
If they made a game like that today, Duke would cut his dick and ask Lara to wear a burka.
dfeab5 No.14493530
>>14493508
>don't miss the tank controls though.
How about you take your shit opinions back to reddit
613026 No.14493536
>>14491150
Any chance of these coming to consoles?
613026 No.14493544
>>14493530
Srsly, the tank controls still suck. You know it. I kn ow it.
It wasn't until the remake along with Legend and Underworld that they finally got the controls right. Fuck that having to hawl her around like a boat achor shit.
d0f4f5 No.14493555
>>14493508
i never liked her shitty braided hair and glasses.
d3ff8d No.14493632
>>14492968
Man Shadow Tactics was some good shit.
bc02ac No.14493658
>>14491164
feminists see all men as rapists, because they can't do the math or understand their role in their own misfortune due to narcissism resulting in the inability to share in the blame
its the same as the violence begets violence argument, millions of GTA(s) being played, should equal a million school shootings or whatever
It's a narcissistic type of retardation, and it should come as no surprise that goons are a part of it.
5e8276 No.14493728
>>14491083
>SquarEnix
>magnum opus
They don't even develop these games.
ce3fcd No.14493779
>>14493767
I've seen enough traps to know that's not a man.
ce3fcd No.14493780
>>14493779
>>14493767
Wait no, I mean that IS a man. Sorry.
394414 No.14493807
>>14491109
>iconic
fucking says who, the last tomb raider game with the new lara fell off the face of the earth in no time
1c1833 No.14493849
>>14491109
Rise of the Tomb Raider was hilarious in just how fucking terrible she was at doing anything. The entire game is her failing at everything. Even to the point you'll do a bunch of tricky platforming only for it to end in a cutscene where she falls down a hole anyway. She became the worst adventurer in all fiction. The only thing iconic about her now is the guro porn throughout the games.
>>14491120
Why even have a bra on at that point?
a9b73d No.14493917
Why is there even such a huge resurgence of Tomb Raider in the first place? Wasn't the original game okay and the first movie terrible?
a2431a No.14493918
>>14493767
>It's no secret video game adaptations frequently struggle to leave an impact, but there was hope Tomb Raider could reverse those fortunes and be a bona fide hit.
>there was hope Tomb Raider could reverse those fortunes and be a bona fide hit.
b3e708 No.14493934
>>14493767
Is the Tomb Raider film confirmed a shot for shot remake of the first nu Lara game? I played the first one and from the movies scenes it really looks like it does.
44d7fc No.14493995
>comes out on my birthday
Gay game, but cool I guess?
ed4fe4 No.14494023
>>14493917
Lara Croft is a famous icon, so these shitheads have to come in and ruin her by coasting off her legacy rather than make a new character
2e191f No.14494032
>>14493807
>fucking says who, the last tomb raider game with the new lara fell off the face of the earth in no time
Well Gamesblotter still thinks it is, that and anybody who's still dumb enough to read Gamesblotter today (seriously who still reads these sites? Artifical Bots?)
ecb0cf No.14494060
>>14494032
I'm pretty sure advertising people just go "you know what quote would look good on our movie poster/paid reviews?" And then they come up with a quote, and then because there's so many fucking idiots in the world they just google the quote and someone has already said it, so they source them.
1b3bbe No.14494069
>>14491109
So you're telling me that getting impaled in the face by a phallic object makes a character more badass and less sexualized?
ed4fe4 No.14494085
>>14494069
I am getting a chubby. I think I'm too far gone
b02ffd No.14494143
>>14494085
Might as well embrace it. The death scenes are the only redeemable part of the nu-Tomb Raider games.
ecb0cf No.14494184
>>14494085
I let that part happen repeatedly and fapped the first time I saw it. Made the playthrough (until that point) worth it.
Also does anyone have that video with the "impaled by rebar" QTE from the 2013 game, dubbed with Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye?
ce3fcd No.14494201
>>14494085
Laura is for cuddle, not impuddle
1104eb No.14494208
>>14493519
>>14493519
not unless someone in the industry buys there IP.
69bcf6 No.14494213
>>14491109
>Lara debuts as an intelligent badass in her first fucking game
>Years later, the kikes declare that she was originally an oversexualized bimbo
>Turn her into a weak little bitch
>Aren't you glad we fixed Lara Croft, goyim?
20fd33 No.14494214
>>14494201
We need more loli Lara.
ecb0cf No.14494216
>>14494214
Even that loli has more tits than Nu Lara.
b02ffd No.14494235
>>14494214
I'd play a loli-Laura game. That should have been her origin story. As in, fuck you, she doesn't have/need one. She was just a natural born tomb raider who's been doing it since she was a little kid. It's a goddamned game, just sit back and enjoy you goddamned whiney mongs. Maybe give it a bit more of a light-hearted and less serious setting, and make her guns shoot those suction cup things. Show her having trouble trying to climb up on rocks and that kind of cute shit.
35059e No.14494282
>>14494214
I personally don't approve of young girls in dangerous situations.
c46088 No.14494295
>>14494282
Loli guro is ok, anon.
They aren't real people.
15507f No.14494308
>>14494214
>Loli Lara.
La-li-lu-le-lo.
2224b1 No.14494677
>>14491120
Shoulders way wider than her hips, definitely the proportions of a boy.
65dba6 No.14494727
>>14494308
La li lu le lo? What are you talking about?
0957b4 No.14494740
>>14494727
Do you know about the Tombs of the Pharaohs? The Kangz are trying to control the memes.
15507f No.14494742
>>14494727
Loli lu le lara.
cc4436 No.14494788
>>14491120
wow she has the body of a man its really unsettling
14f8ce No.14494824
>>14494235
That'd be great. Would work fantastic with a silly and fun tone, without taking itself seriously. And yeah, even loli Lara has larger tits and wider hips than the hideous 3DPD they chose to play her.
c14d78 No.14494869
>>14491125
Is that a woman that looks like a man or a man that looks like a woman
If the former then it's the fault of testosterone
Girls who lift take tons of it constantly, since it improves their performance a lot, but it also makes them look and act like men.
114d9e No.14494886
>>14491120
This is a swimmer's body
530585 No.14494897
>>14494216
>Nu Lara
I propose we give her a distinct name like Laura because that faker is not worthy of the same name.
698ff0 No.14494936
>>14491083
Wasn't this exact shit how the advertised the first two fucking reboot games? The origin story on how Lara Croft became the Tomb Raider?
She went through more shit in her real, actual origin story instead of this whingy I Hate Tombs(tm) abomination.
613026 No.14495054
>>14493918
I miss him making laughably bad video game movies.
0ed770 No.14495110
>>14495054
He shitposts on twitter.
4fc8d9 No.14495132
14f8ce No.14495152
>>14493298
You realize that character popularity has nothing to do with game quality, right? Does it not occur to you that Lara might be more popular because she's a hot girl with tons of fanservice while 47 is a bald guy in a suit? Regardless of game quality, Lara got as popular as she was because sex sells.
530585 No.14495172
>>14495110
Not as clever as he thinks he is. Some things never change.
>>14495152
>You realize that character popularity has nothing to do with game quality, right?
It does since it's part of the final product. Also it's a good way to tell the attitude of the game's developers. >>14491120 is a clear-cut example of them not giving a shit or being actively malicious and it's at the point where I prefer to support crappy Nip games because they understand that people like sexy girls.
c4cf30 No.14495176
>>14494886
>This is a man's body
FTFY anon. No need to thank me.
a1ddef No.14495184
>>14491339
What were these the lyrics to again?
91ac0f No.14495186
>>14495054
>Uwe Boll will never make a cheesy movie adaptation of your favorite videogame
371457 No.14496442
>>14491120
They should have got a female Crossfit athlete, they are basically real life Laras anyways.
Give her a nice tit job, or use some practical effects to make them look big, and you are ready to go! They will probably will need to be trained on Bong Banter too.
>>14491083
About the game, Uncharted looks more like a cool adventure than Tomb Raider. I wonder if any of the old developers still work, effectively work, on the franchise nowadays.
d71dfc No.14496455
>>14491083
reminder nu lara has a black boyfriend. she literally got BLACKED.
>playing as a coal burning brit slag
no
a1d1aa No.14496509
0be370 No.14496562
>>14496442
>bong banter
>we will never get a lara croft movie where lara spends the entire movie buttblasting foreigners with superior anglo banter
>we will never get a game where there is a dedicated u wot m8 button
Why live?
215df2 No.14496582
>>14496442
>Give her a nice tit job, or use some practical effects to make them look big
What parallel universe do you come from where this is allowed?
211d8f No.14496606
>>14495110
>>14495054
>>14495186
Reminder that the Postal movie is actually good and that you should watch it.
Also, go watch Rampage
b76bf6 No.14496642
>>14496606
No anon, it IS shit. But enjoyably shit, because a "good" movie about Postal 2 wouldn't make sense anyway. And it's not Birdemic-tier shit where it's actually painful to watch, either, so that's good.
211d8f No.14496656
>>14496642
>it is shit
it's campy, doesn't mean it's shit, it accomplishes it's goal.
12f2dc No.14496730
>>14492968
>Shadow the hedgehog had 16 different endings and 700+ gameplay routes to let you craft the story and playout of events however you wanted
>all games in following years fail to come close to that flexibility
call it shit if you want but it accomplished what few games boasted they could do.
12f2dc No.14496767
>>14493265
>>14493519
>play as either of them while keeping in radio contact with the other as they do crazy shit off camera, occasionally meeting up
>the world and shit going on is treated seriously, only Laura and Duke are the monkey wrenches in this world
>tip tier one liners and banter regarding shit
>Both being the masculine and feminin personas of Ahnold and stallone movies
>while the story is kept serious, the game between Laura and Duke is just the two of them trying to one-up the other in doing increasingly batshit stunts and bragging rights
But the universe hates fun.
215df2 No.14496813
>>14496767
>ending is Duke dicking Lara so hard she becomes a loving housewife
>feminists gnash their teeth and cry blood in impotent rage as they are sent to concentration camps
But we live in Hell.
12f2dc No.14496828
>>14494214
>>14494235
>>14494824
>Perhaps cell shade it to make it softer
>brighter color pallets
>center it around adventuring to famous places to find mcguffins
>training room is a literal playground
>the more ruffed up she gets, the more she has cartoony bandages and messed up hair
>death has her falling to her knees and crying in front of the screen
>success has her smiling at the camera
>gameplay is classic tomb raider with an emphasis on exploration and puzzles with a side order of combat
>includes super casual babby mode with waypoints and no foes for the retards IE: journalists does not include the real ending
>more traditional modes that require brains and effort to win give you the real ending
I'd play the hell out of that
215df2 No.14496855
>>14496828
The guns should be Nerf toys.
>does not include the real ending
Not like the journalists would be able to reach it anyway, regardless of how idiot proof you made the game.
12f2dc No.14496868
>>14496855
I always take one additional step in my theoretical creation of a game to ensure babby players don't get everything.
>nerf guns
But of course.
b42a05 No.14496941
>>14496813
I can just imagine a ending scene with Duke watching his kids playing in the backyard, swearing something to himself thinking of old times and blasting aliens only to be interrupted by Lara yelling "honey!" cooking up some delicious meatloaf and saying how he promised to stop swearing, then picking a glass, going outside and starting to lit a cigarette only to be stopped by Lara saying he promised to stop smoking too and then she comes to sit on his lap and they both watch their kids happily playing around and the scene fades to black.
20fd33 No.14497015
>>14496730
Whenever the discussion comes up about "CYOA-style" storytelling in games, Shadow is one of the titles that is always brought up as being one of the few that did it right (Despite it being a mess).
>>14496813
>>14496828
>>14496941
Welcome to /v/, everyone, where gay men fantasize about playing as little girls going on action-filled, world-wide adventures; and want to see gaming's two biggest Alphas getting together and becoming a loving husband and wife!
b76bf6 No.14497054
>>14497015
>Whenever the discussion comes up about "CYOA-style" storytelling in games, Shadow is one of the titles that is always brought up as being one of the few that did it right (Despite it being a mess).
It could've done with some more small changes in endings based on the path you took, maybe cut off a few paths to make more sense, but at least it actually had completely different endings and you got them through your actual gameplay choices, instead of being able to play a dick the whole time and picking the blue option during the ending cutscene.
You know shit is fucked up when a buggy mess of an edgelord game is technically better than just about every single western role playing game in recent years.
80f75e No.14497086
>>14491109
>confident, in control, skilled, smart, and capable
>"Oversexualized"
>Constantly gets the shit kicked out of her, feeble, always out of breath, always fucking up, unable to do fucking anything without help
>"Iconic badass"
371457 No.14497191
>>14496562
Imagine a Ausie Lara like this one also trying to outbanter the world!
>>14496582
Basically what cosplayers do all the time. Both things really. And it works wonders. Hell, let the Chinese make the movie, we know they can make some cool shootings too.
b6ad1e No.14497266
>>14491083
Only played nuTomb Raider 1 back when I had a toaster. I had to tweak the game to run at a 200x200 resolution for the QTEs or else the framerate made them impossible. Does my fresh OC still applies?
ed4fe4 No.14497407
>>14497266
>200x200 resolution for the QTEs
Oh my god
b02ffd No.14497424
>>14496828
How the hell hasn't that been made into a game yet?
91e0ea No.14497449
>>14497266
>>14497407
This same tactic is used to speedrun Superman 64.
b6ad1e No.14497483
>>14497407
I was surprised the game let me resize the windowed screen. Most games just lock it. But yeah, I couldn't beat the final boss because the framerate for that scene was specially poor and it made me fail the QTE everytime. That's when I 'discovered' that trick. I wish I could have done so earlier. The wolf QTE took me like an hour.
>>14497449
I honestly had no idea.
215df2 No.14497500
>>14497191
Yeah, but cosplayers usually get away with it by pretending they're not whoring for attention, they're making a "tribute" to a franchise they love (but have never played), and you filthy misogynerds shouldn't even try to sexualize them.
>Hell, let the Chinese make the movie, we know they can make some cool shootings too.
I'd unironically want this to happen. Chinks don't like niggers. homosexuality and ugly women, so they're already better than Hollywood by leaps and bounds.
>>14497266
Once you get the silenced pistol you don't even need the bow. You can just headshoot everyone without any issue. The game is cakewalk.
>>14497424
For the same reason we can't have any other nice things, Jews.
530585 No.14500306
>>14496730
>16 endings
Eh? There's 10 main story, plus the final story. Also the branching paths thing doesn't have a major impact. The ending is decided by which of the 5 levels you end up on, and one of two possible approaches to it. To be sure I did actually complete the game and even got some enjoyment out of it but people grossly oversell that aspect of the game.
a836a3 No.14500327
The 90s are over, America has changed drastically and the social environment of the entire world has changed.
We need to bring the 90s back.
7098e9 No.14500581
>>14492409
>wtf! people are upset! how will they react to a nigger disabled Samus with a skintight Power Suit!
Anon, some faggot concept artist pretty much did this, but also managed to make it liik like an effeminate final fantays guy. Its actually kinda gross to look at, and made me mad enough to avoid saving a copy
>>14492872
This too, the nulara is a murderous asshole who kills people who were stuck in shitty situations all the same.
>>14496442
2 would have been a decent choive
>>14497191
Those are mor "fans" than any of the modern devs or journos.
66751d No.14500836
>>14500581
>the nulara is a murderous asshole who kills people who were stuck in shitty situations all the same.
Most definitely true.
>Expected Lara to have some sort of breakdown that lasts a bit after her first kill
>she just starts rampaging after not even a minute with just little complaints here and there
Even when they tried to make a crybaby out of Lara, they fucked it up.
ea896b No.14501144
>>14491109
I love how people preaching about emporium women are in fact the most vocal ones in telling them not to work out, be healthy and in general be the best that they can be but instead be fat, lazy pieces of shit that are three cheeseburgers away from a type 2 diabetes.
c46088 No.14501478
>>14500327
But without the leftists and kikes.
A 90s with all kikes and leftists killed.
cd76e8 No.14501513
>>14501478
that'd be utopian no matter the time period.
83a899 No.14501787
>>14491109
Oh, yeah. It was a totally organic and natural "evolution".
98025b No.14508300
>>14491120
Worse than a tranny, trannies at least try and look feminine.
30c63f No.14509455
>>14508300
Trap > Tranny anyway
75c462 No.14509496
>>14491083
wheres the tiddies?