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4f8094 No.14347731
Let's have a nice clean 40K thread with no shitposting or xenos shall we?
Here's some Men of War with the 40 Mod
It's pretty autistic
Are you looking forward to Battlefleet Ghotic 2?
52c5a3 No.14348540
>Battlefleet Gothic 2
Very excited. My only concern is that they don't needlessly fuck-over the multiplayer again. The game was needlessly dead way too early.
cde508 No.14348562
Not much you can play on a toaster that's 40k related and isnt DoW mods. Hoping the revamped version of Deathwing goes on PSN soon.
742913 No.14349140
>>14348540
This. there were other issues with the first one, but looks like they will make the second game much better, and if they dont fuck up the online, it will be really amazing. But of course until the game is released, we can only make guess.
b1b2df No.14349214
>>14347731
>no xenos
There's always xenos. Ya git.
f6727e No.14349259
>>14347731
Yes, let's have zombie /tg/ memes direct our discussion; there's nothing quite like having every thread be derailed by hairy manlets and reposts of 'heresy' macros from 2005.
829f16 No.14349310
>>14349259
I spotted a filthy xeno
d1ca05 No.14349592
>>14349572
Whatever the fuck happened to inquisitor martyr?
ee7ab5 No.14349602
>>14347731
>no shitposting or xenos
OP, please. You know how it'll end up if you start your thread like that.
c4133c No.14349604
>>14349572
>game about Eisenhorn
>sucks
The books were so good. How did they mess that one up?
e313ae No.14349682
>>14349604
It was a phone game, they got Mark Strong (fucking GeeDub whore) to voice Eisenhorn and the game was pretty much better if you remove the gameplay and just listen to his narration.
25971b No.14349863
>>14349572
Is Total War Warhammer good or shit?
9752fd No.14349919
>>14347731
>Are you looking forward to Battlefleet Ghotic 2?
I skipped the first one because the persistent unlock system fucking ruined it.
9752fd No.14349936
>>14349572
>Soulstorm in Play
>All three DoW II games in Play Chaos Rising is the only good one
>New Space Hulk in play while the actually good Space Hulk games are only in Optional
>Blood Bowl II: consolisation edition in Play
>Battlefleet Gothic any higher than optional
>No Squad Command anywhere
That's a fucking terrible chart.
131ac4 No.14349943
>>14347731
>No Xenos
Why? There's an Eldar-Imperium Alliance with even Necrons sometimes showing up to give them a hand?
3b1596 No.14349981
>>14349943
Quit this bullshit, the imperium are eldar are not allied, they are simply not killing each other while the galaxy's asshole exploded into an asscrack.
054b68 No.14349983
>>14349572
SO what was worth it about Dawn of War 1? I played the full thing and it felt like StarCraft 2. Every mission was the same - wait in base until you have 4 or more fully done squad while you fend of pathetic attacks and then proceed to waste 40 mins moving through the map with no risk of failure.
131ac4 No.14349993
>>14349981
Considering the Ynnari are pretty much Girlyman's errand boys now I would call that pretty damn close to an alliance.
3ca425 No.14349994
>>14349592
The game is just really boring and buggy and they are expecting to bring it out of EA soon. Let the idiots buy it at launch and wait to see if they fix it down the road.
25acc5 No.14350004
>>14349863
It's decent but CK2's Geheimnisnacht mod is still the definitive Warhammer game as far as I'm concerned. Both are DLC whored to hell so exercise judgement when acquiring either.
8131d4 No.14350021
>>14349936
Make a better one then fag.
>>14349993
Or you can just ignore the new lore like anyone with half a brain.
d1de25 No.14350025
>>14349572
>paid 2$ for Eternal Crusade a long fucking time ago
>played Orks
>Orks are somehow the most coordinated and successful faction
>have top-tier Ork animations and taunts
>everyone playing Orks is 100% dedicated to the art of being an Ork
>almost every match had some guy going "alright ya gitz, I'm da warboss, and dis is how we'll win dis one" at the start
It's still a shit game, and what's worse is the fact that 90% of the Ork playerbase disappeared.
9752fd No.14350030
>>14350021
>Make a better one then fag.
I've still got a text file with a list in it from a few threads ago but it's missing some of the more modern games which frankly are mostly shitty mobile ports anyway. I'll go dig it up.
>>14350025
Space Marines have always attracted the worst players.
e04430 No.14350033
>tfw no Serious Sam clone where you play as an Ork Flash Git with each weapon being more ridiculously overkill than the last one.
>no pistol-equivalent slugga that fires high-calliber explosive projectiles
>no gatling gun where you have rotating barrels atop of rotating barrels for maximum dakka.
>No Duke Nukem tier end boss cinematics where you blow off the head of the Carnifex boss and take a proverbial shit down his neck
But noooh, gotta have muh Spehhs Mehrens.
c4133c No.14350054
>>14349682
>phone game
For what fucking purpose.
>>14350033
We are in the timeline where fun-hating chaos daemons are dictating what is morally just and acceptable. There is no hope left for us.
e04430 No.14350071
>>14350054
>where fun-hating chaos daemons
But Chaos daemons love fun! It's those nasty Imperial and those uptight Ultrasissies who want to ban anything fun just because it maybe, maybe might cause an eldritch horror to manifest inside of your asshole.
9752fd No.14350075
>>14350021
>>14350030
>>14349936
>>14349572
I also stuck in a few of the more recent ones:
>40k must plays
Dawn of War 1
Dawn of War Winter Assault
Dawn of War Dark Crusade
Dawn of War mods
Squad Command
Exterminatus (not many players around though)
Chaos Gate (it's a dick to get running on modern machines, you're best to play it on an XP VM)
Space Hulk: Vengeance of the Blood Angels
Alien Assault (needs Space Hulk mods because of GW's legal shenanigans)
>40k still pretty good
Dawn of War Soulstorm
Dawn of War 2: Chaos Rising
Dawn of War 2: Retribution
The Last Standalone (unlocks are cancer but it's fun with friends still)
Space Marine
Space Hulk (1993)
Final Liberation
Chapter Master/Interstellar Army Simulator (it'll be a must play if it ever gets finished though)
Space Hulk Ascension
Armageddon
>40k average
Battlefleet Gothic: Armada (the unlock system kills this game)
Sanctus Reach
Space Hulk (2013)
Rites of War
Dawn of War 2
>40k what the fuck were they thinking?
Firewarriror
Regicide
Space Hulk: Deathwing (unless it's been patched to actually fucking work)
Kill Team
Deathwatch (port of a mobile game ruined by excessive grinding)
Talisman: The Horus Heresy
Inquisitor: Martyr (it might be good eventually but it sure as shit isn't right now)
>40k shit
Dawn of War III
Eisenhorn: Xenos
Warhammer 40,000: Eternal Crusade
Storm of Vengeance
Space Wolf
Carnage
Anything else ported from a mobile game
>Fantasy Must Plays
Dark Omen
Shadow of the Horned Rat
Warsword Conquest (mod for M&B Warband)
Blood Bowl (2009)
Call of Warhammer: Total War (Medieval 2 mod)
>Fantasy still pretty good
Mark of Chaos
Mark of Chaos: Battlemarch
Blood Bowl 2 (consolised but apparently the recent re-release has improved that)
Chaos League pretty much Blood Bowl but GW were retarded and refused to license it, same devs went on to make 2009 Blood Bowl and Blood Bowl 2
>Fantasy Average
Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning (Return of Reckoning if you want to play it post-shutdown)
Vermintide (fuck the unlock system)
Total Warhammer
Total Warhammer 2
Mordheim
Blood Bowl (1995)
Man O' War Corsair
Battle for Atluma
>Fantasy what the fuck were they thinking?
Warhammer Quest (another mobile port ruined by its business model)
Battlemarch (Xbox 360 version)
8131d4 No.14350079
>>14350075
>Call of Warhammer: Total War (Medieval 2 mod)
This is like Third Age but for Warhammer?
d1ca05 No.14350086
>>14349983
You can boil down all RTS game mission to that. And the only alternative would be warcraft tier - hero units doing moba/survival things.
The mechanics of dow1 were great. You could do tons of stuff with squad attachment and detachment. You had a legitimate reason to keep your squads alive, other than just to do a bit more damage.
9752fd No.14350103
>>14350079
Yes but with more slav.
>>14350086
Anyone who compares DoW to SC2 doesn't know enough about the genre to be worth replying to anon. Also you can't even build bases in many of DoW1's campaign missions so he's talking out his arse.
8131d4 No.14350108
>>14350103
>Yes but with more slav.
Truly the slavs will save gaming.
3b1596 No.14350131
>>14350108
I for one welcome them.
9752fd No.14350210
>>14350108
People forget that slavs have Asian autism, they just temper it with rampant alcoholism instead of ant-people genetics.
d1de25 No.14350267
>>14350210
>friend was an alcoholic by high school
>became mostly socially successful
>i didn't drink
>i'm here
4107e7 No.14350281
How do you even use the 40k mod on Men of War?
637ac9 No.14350298
>>14350210
Can confirm, got slavs to not be drunks they turned into semi-ant people.
c131c9 No.14350354
>>14347731
Your faggotry levels are off the charts and your shilling is clearly a sign of failing taste sensors. Suggestion: kill yourself.
>>14349604
They were shit supplemented with even more shit.
74f44d No.14350402
>>14350281
You download and install it then install the english patch.
a68d37 No.14350422
>>14347731
>Are you looking forward to Battlefleet Ghotic 2?
>Tindalos games
maybe at a steep sale after release
4f8094 No.14350425
>>14350354
Why are you so triggered anon?
Battlefleet Ghotic 2 looks to be at least decent and I don't think shilling a game that you can pirate or buy on G2A for 2 bucks and it's 40K mod counts as shilling.
>>14349602
Post hot steamy Necrons
a68d37 No.14350431
>>14350425
>Battlefleet Ghotic 2 looks to be at least decent
The first one had major issues both in multiplayer and campaign with Tindalos doing nothing to fix them. It's unlikely they'll really fix these issues for 2 either
they're also going full bore with nu40k
>copypaste skirmish missions for campaign
>highly limited ship numbers
>balance all over the board
4f8094 No.14350441
>>14350431
If they nail faction variety and don't kike up the game that will be enough for me honestly.
ab3c21 No.14350451
>>14350021
>Ignoring the new lore
But it's canon now
Robot Guilemon is making Thunder Warriors 2: Thunder harder and has a mary sue Eldar waifu that will help defeat chaos for him while he replaces the emperor on the golden throne for 5 seconds before girlyman fixes the webway his father tried to make and makes everything better for all time. All hail the toilet seat marines
4f8094 No.14350475
>>14350451
Matt Ward is an exemplary writer and influenced so many, what a great figurehead for 40K lore.
3b1596 No.14350477
>>14350451
Gulliman did not make the primaris, they were there since the end of the horus heresy and were deployed by his command, wich is different, and he distrusts both cawl and the eldar.
c131c9 No.14350482
>>14350441
If they made a starfleet armada clone that would be fine with me. But what I'm generally triggered by is cringe throwing and peddling hype.
4f8094 No.14350504
>>14350482
>Hype
Hope is the first step towards disappointment
I think the only game I'm honestly hyped about is Bannerlord and I just know the launch of that game will be terrible and will bring a shitton of cuckchan shitters and bitter niggers out of the woodwork, and I literally only do it because the original was a huge part of my late teenage years in which I wasted thousands of hours playing the free pre release builds the devs would put out.
Never hype anything, just pay attention to it and look at it from afar.
It's one thing to make promises, another one to deliver and execute.
2f65ae No.14350583
>>14350451
Just let the Nids eat it all. Or at least give us a second Beast. I would murder for a scenario where, instead of being the brutes brought forth to do the dirty work of Chaos or the Eldar, the Orkz turn the ship around and get the other factions to beat up each other until the greenskins can come in and kick ass.
Hells, I would be happy with a story where some uppity Chaos/Eldar/Whatever asshole tries to manipulate the Orkz and it promptly backfires because they are too dumb to be manipulated properly.
575551 No.14350655
>no Dark Heresy crpg set on a Hive World
>will never uncover a multi-layered Chaos conspiracy inside the planetary government
>will never have to choose between being completely faithful but with shittier gear and a harder game, or slowly becoming more Chaos driven for a much easier game using daemonic artifacts
>will never have to deal with the friction of your party for being different ideologies within the Inquisition itself
>no qt Sororitas waifu
3b1596 No.14350711
>>14350655
Would be cool if you could make your inquisitor and acolytes like DH, then we would see AGP shenanigans.
>no qt Sororitas waifu
This pains me deeply.
a21101 No.14350774
>>14350761
>ugly fanatical old women with daddy issues
fenimists
d1ca05 No.14350777
>>14350711
Fucking waifufag. I bet your waifu would ruin the game too.
d1ca05 No.14350822
File: cf8a6194e79e500⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 484.72 KB, 739x1043, 739:1043, e71f1934f4729b6f38397bb313….jpg)
>>14350797
We have ways to torture you as well.
f73ca6 No.14350835
>>14350774
>Fenimists
Learn to speak the language before you spread heresy, scum.
a68d37 No.14350847
>>14350797
>implying Slaneesh will even survive the 40k End Times they're building up to
b1b2df No.14350879
>>14350822
>not making her wear several layers of T H I C C sweaters and pants and offering her a firm handshake
Is this your first time bullying a demon whore?
d1ca05 No.14350900
>>14350879
This is daemon that can get off on any sensation and you think putting more clothes on it will help.
In case you are unable to grasp that let me say it again:
ANY SENSATION
Not just lust.
b1b2df No.14350926
>>14350900
Even watching Mark plow through 50lbs of cake? That's fucked up.
9d60f7 No.14350929
>>14350900
It's more specifically an excess of sensations. Monotony and moderation would be hell for them.
4f8094 No.14350939
3b1596 No.14350955
>>14350777
>sororitas
>ruin anything
Unless youre an imperial guardsman that just got his lines over-stretched by one of their fanatical charges or a fucking heretic, that cant possibly happen.
9d60f7 No.14350973
>>14350939
Daemons aren't xenos
4f8094 No.14350987
>>14350973
Yeah, but they're shit and I also said no shitposting.
b1b2df No.14351025
>>14350987
Okay, fine. No demons, no xenos. Only varying degrees of CLANG
2ddfc7 No.14351044
i'll take this thread to ask this: If i want to get into 40k where should i start? is there a guide, tips or anything?
7350bf No.14351049
>>14351044
Just do what I did: Read shit on the wiki that sounds interesting and play a few of the games
3b1596 No.14351050
>>14351044
Well that depends, what do you like about 40k?
Because if youre in for space marines then reading about the guard or xenos doing xenos things wont do it.
4f8094 No.14351066
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14351025
>All that biological matters
Disgusting
Better though
>>14351044
Play the first Dawn of War
Here's a guide to run it better on modern systems.
https://pcgamingwiki.com/wiki/Warhammer_40,000:_Dawn_of_War
Read up on this as well and read up on whatever interests you
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Warhammer_40,000
2ddfc7 No.14351083
>>14351049
i thought about it but i'd feel nothing about the franchise. Plus i'd have to go back and fourth with articles everytime something is introduced.
>>14351050
i know nothing about it aside scraps from posts. It's a big franchise that still continue to this day, so i want to understand what makes it so special and if it might interest me
>>14351066
thanks, i'll check it out
3b1596 No.14351101
b1b2df No.14351102
>>14351066
Pretty sure those tiddies are filled with AdMech grade lubricant.
4f8094 No.14351126
>>14351102
If it's not machine, it's shit
>>14351116
C'tan did nothing wrong
9752fd No.14351349
>>14350298
If not for vodka they'd have won the Cold War.
>>14350451
It's probably leading to an Age of Skubmar: 40k edition to be honest.
>>14350477
I've not actually followed it too closely but didn't he actually order the creation of the Primaris marines before his 10,000 year nap?
>>14351044
https://1d4chan.org/ I know it half an explicitly halfchan url but this is as close to old /tg/ as you'll get, Lexicanum is a good resource for 'real' fluff too. Also play DoW.
9752fd No.14351366
577397 No.14351483
>>14349140
How much can we honestly expect from balance?
No matter how you put it, the more factions there harder it is. There is a good reason blizzard stuck with 3 for Starcraft.
Ofcourse BFG2 doesn't have to into e-sports or tournaments but balance is balance and it will be a bitch to tune.
ad35ac No.14351538
>>14350655
The Emperor always has a place for those willing to serve.
a7cdf7 No.14351599
How is it so difficult to just make Dynasty Warriors: Warhammer/40K? Closest was Space Marine and it wasn't nearly as dense as a Dynasty Warriors game can be.
9752fd No.14351650
>>14351626
>okay guys what is your opinion about the new lore updates
The new lore is mostly an excuse to push FOTM overpowered tabletop units that eventually get nerfed so the cycle can start again.
3b1596 No.14351659
>>14351626
I like most of the things because its better than the previus options the universe had, homever, they were done in a lazy way.
The fall of cadia should have had imperial armory levels of autistic detail and the crusade from terra shouldnt have been skipped.
I neither like nor dislike primaris.
6cd599 No.14351680
>>14350797
>>14350822
>>14350973
Slaanesh, stop being such a libertine trollop and make way for the superior member of the Ruinous Powers.
Check this 9
2f65ae No.14351764
>>14351626
>Primary Sue Marines
Might as well just have brought back the Thunder Warriors. Really, this is fucking SIgmarine bullshit all over.
>Elements of Eldar and DE allying
Gee, where did I read that in Warhammer Fantasy
>Trollzyn snubs Creed of all the fucking people
That at least had me chuckle a bit. Now we only need Eldrad to snub Trollzyn in turn.
>Orkz still not portrayed as a credible thread even though the Great Waaagh! is pulling them in even from outside the Milky Way now.
Disappointing.
cde508 No.14351838
>>14349259
The only thing wrong with /tg/ is that autist who never shuts up about female space marines. Faggot sounds like anita sardenesian or some other feminist cohort. Other than that, /tg/ is fine.
a68d37 No.14351904
>>14351815
>the beast series
That was downright garbage
4f8094 No.14351905
>>14351626
>what is your opinion about the new lore updates and all the habbenings in the galaxy?
Shit
Cadia fall should be something in depth and was pretty much skimmed with only one novel detailing it.
Division of the Imperium is a great concept and could be used to make something new like a new faction/new characters but they haven't done fuck all with it.
I don't give a shit about Primaris because they're Space Marines, again.
The Smurfs are the fucking main focus again, Xeno sympathizers are all extremely powerful just because.
Bringing back Gorillaman and the restructuring of the Imperium and removal of the Imperial Cult/Ecclesiarchy looks like a move to pussify 40K for even more normalfags and SJWs and removes part of the identity of the faction.
It's fucking mediocre shit and it's doing more harm than good due to how shittily written it is.
cb6b9a No.14351972
>>14351905
This is the kind of thing that will kill their brand. People liked 40k for being no holds barred. Everything was out to kill or fuck over everyone else, and making it for a "wider audience" will just fuck up the appeal.
4f8094 No.14352055
>>14351972
I would be completely apathetic to this shit if the Imperial Cult wasn't at risk of being completely removed.
But both GeeDubs stating they want to add more "diversity" into the fucking setting and this move coupled with the mediocre as fuck writing and lack of it that's as diverse as Detroit is a big red fucking flag.
9752fd No.14352161
>>14351838
That fag is all but confirmed as an SJW, even tried to claim Emps was a genderless otherkin at one point based on (misinterpreted) 20 year old lore and an off-hand reference in a Black Library novel.
87edef No.14352332
>>14349604
>>14349682
>game about Eisenhorn
>for phones
3b1596 No.14352402
>>14352055
The imperial cult isnt being removed, guilliman is even pretending the emperor is a god to not stirr up the beehive.
Stop being such massive retards and buying everything anyone says withouth any source to back it up.
>>14352161
Youre mixing up different people.
8fd39d No.14352478
>hating on the god of sex, drugs, and rock n roll
I smell me some grox shit eating fuckbois
ad35ac No.14353442
>>14352478
(USER WAS DEPORTED) 9b6964 No.14353471
>>14349943
>worst primarch is back and buddy-buddy with worst xenos
I refuse to accept this
The only good xenos is a dead xenos
b12171 No.14353492
>>14352402
>pretending
At this point Bobby G knows that the Emperor is a god or on the cusp of becoming one. He's not particularly thrilled with it but not because he's particularly hostile to religion but because he realizes that the Emperor, as a person/entity, is a huge asshole.
ad35ac No.14353524
>>14353492
>He knows the Emperor is not quite human any longer, but he has noted that even if Emps is a god, something as cold and ruthlessly callous as Him doesn't deserve worship in the first place. According to Guilliman, when he met with the Emperor, the latter treated him as little more than a favorite tool that had only just been recovered for a highly urgent job, as opposed to being the last of his loyal sons.
b0e7bd No.14353560
>>14353442
>current year cuckchan
get out
b4e768 No.14354186
>>14353471
That's not how you spell Perturabo.
59d7d6 No.14354830
>>14350075
>Warsword Conquest (mod for M&B Warband)
Tell me, anon, what are you smoking?
9c35ed No.14354934
>>14347731
>no shitposting or xenos
Xenos are part of 40K, m8.
9c35ed No.14354942
>>14353524
Didn't the Emperor get rid of a huge part of his soul (the one containing love and empathy) in order to kill Horus?
Isn't that part of him still somewhere out there?
ad35ac No.14354976
>>14354942
Not sure but I wouldn't be surprised if something like that is fluff.
438fe9 No.14354994
>>14353442
>book about the emperor and malcador's fantastic adventures never ever
d1ca05 No.14355036
>>14353442
Fucking stoners put smoking weed in everything.
cb6b9a No.14355044
>>14353524
>daddy issues 2.0
>cold and callous gods don't deserve to be worshiped
The Emperor was no doubt an asshole, but when your goal is to simultaneously keep humanity from exterminating itself, a difficult task itself, and keep the vast majority of the rest of the galaxy from murdering it, then you really don't have time to be a nice guy to your son.
d1ca05 No.14355053
>>14353524
Given that the majority of space marines are also described as cold killing machines, I don't see why girlyman would object so much.
438fe9 No.14355209
>>14355044
>>14355053
Daddy issues are definitly a thing for primarchs, except for horus, who was by the emperor's side since he was a teenager.
438fe9 No.14355263
>>14355241
Then dont post angry marines, since they came out of 4chan too, youre trying way too hard to fit in.
4f8094 No.14355285
>>14355263
>They're from cuckchan
Before it went to complete shit
>You're trying to fit in
I literally made this thread you fucking retard, your kind isn't welcome around these paets, go >>>/back/
438fe9 No.14355299
>>14355285
I havent even been there since 2008, youre trying too hard.
4f8094 No.14355314
>>14355299
Your passive agressiveness and apathty towards a cuckchan screenscap from this yer isn't fooling anyone.
You're not welcome
>>>/cuckchan/
438fe9 No.14355380
>>14355314
Its literally the same shit as posting stale things from old /tg/, stop being an hipocrite and trying so hard to fit in.
4f8094 No.14355394
>>14355380
>Posting a cuckchan screenscap from this year is the same as posting a cuckchan creation from more tham half a decade ago
>>>/cuckshed/
d1ca05 No.14355411
>>14355380
Old settings haven't changed all that much.
Do you get mad in dune threads too ? Deep sea threads ?
9aa945 No.14355451
>>14350004
This.
If you have CK2 (and who doesn't), Geheimnisnacht is a fucking must play. It's THE Warhammer Fantasy game.
>How do I get the mod.
That's the tricky part, it's not advertised anywhere (because CK2 is largely steam workshop incompatible) because it's burried deep into CK2 fucking official forums that you can't even access unless you register an account with paradox and then log a valid CK2 key to access the sub-forum.
We're talking a total conversion for CK2 that is probably bigger than AGoT and unlike TotalWaWa it has everything, from the ogre kindoms to cathay, chaos drawfs the various vampire factions fucking Kislev, etc…
438fe9 No.14355470
>>14355411
Im not the one sperging out because someone posted a screencap mixing 40k with tenacius D.
19e50e No.14355662
Seems like the appropriate place to ask, because i've been unsure for a few years. Is this a sister of battle?
cc6db1 No.14355689
>>14355662
>diaper with holy text
She might be a secret heretic because of that shit, but looks like a Sister of Battle.
ad35ac No.14355691
>"Despair, and you give yourself to the shadows. Believe, truly believe in the Emperor of Mankind, and you shall walk in His light no matter how dark the path you tread."
a68d37 No.14355696
>>14355662
>diaper
>those feet
d1ca05 No.14355707
>>14355470
No, you are sperging to old memes that are likely to outlive you.
05641d No.14355709
>>14355662
It's a Diaper of Battle.
6c3fa4 No.14355712
File: 43d5b560f195d55⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 314.51 KB, 723x414, 241:138, how to derail a 40k thread.png)
Hey kid you wanna see some chaotic shit?
05641d No.14355718
>>14355712
>thinking that will derail a thread
Cute
6c3fa4 No.14355731
>>14355718
I forgot to change the file name
d4e199 No.14355740
>this thread
GAS THE HERETICS AND PURGE THE XENOS
131ac4 No.14355742
>>14355718
Just post Grimlight
d1ca05 No.14355746
Cute is herecy. Face the music lads. All corruptions of the ideas of the emperor had cute involved in them.
05641d No.14355747
>>14355731
>filename
Use them responsibly.
05641d No.14355762
>>14355746
I don't know, I've seen some heretical shit.
ad35ac No.14355784
>>14355742
Remember to always keep the Emperor in your heart.
4f8094 No.14355792
>Thread devoles into heresy
Everytime
131ac4 No.14355829
>>14355784
The Emperors light shines brightly for all willing to accept his grace.
05641d No.14355863
>>14355792
It needs more nids.
e38864 No.14355873
>>14355829
I could really go for some BL fiction or campaign backgrounds or games or whatever that are chaos vs. xenos, no imperium involved
e5dc05 No.14356077
>>14355829
>we are the emprah's greenest
gets me every time
5688d0 No.14356102
>>14353492
why does he looks so constipated ?
i mean really, he have the face of someone who just shat himself
131ac4 No.14356152
>>14355873
Tuska Daemon-Killa?
>>14356077
It technically isn't against canon for it to happen
3b1596 No.14356936
>>14356077
It could actually happen.
782d45 No.14358475
>>14355829
If Big E knew of some way to 'tame' Orks, I woudn't be surprised if he would have. He was alright with using xenos they way the Tau do now.
24f36a No.14358560
>>14355829
>>14358475
I could see a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor doing it. He'd have to have a planet where all Orks get killed off and know of the spores, not letting them die. Then as Orks are born, he'd need to beat the Yoofs up so he got accepted as their boss, probably painting himself green beforehand. He'd then make a pseudo-warband, but the rules would be heavily Imperium inspired, with Orks not finding out about Gork and Mork but Emperor. Some Ork bands like discipline so I could see it working out. They'd just consider being Orky "Imperial", and being Unorky "hear-easy".
There are problems such as the Orks growing bigger and getting him dethroned, or if he just gets randomly attacked and dies. He'd really need Terminator armor, but even that's not going to do much if he grows his Imperial waaaagh and it then chimps out. After he dies, is exiled or accepts a lesser position there's a likelihood the warband would keep on worshipping the Emperor instead of Gork and Mork afterwards, but without him to guide them it'd probably start attacking random stuff anyway. The Radical could avoid most of that by acting relatively fast or fighting a big threat so the Orks don't get bored, like Nids/Chaos somewhere, with him smartly sending the dangerously big ones so they're more likely to die.
131ac4 No.14358705
>>14358560
>>14358475
Technically it's going on right now on Armageddon cause Chaos showed up.
f8307c No.14358740
>>14358475
>>14358560
>>14358705
There was that one bit of lore where an Inquisitor lead a waaaghh to a planet that was about to be attacked by Tyranids and basically let them duke it out for as much as they want. The Orks want a good fight so they keep coming and spawning spores and the Tyranids just keep on consuming dead Ork.
That's probably as much as we're going to get from Imperial Orks.
09dbf2 No.14358747
>>14358740
I think thats Inquisitor Kryptman where he Exterminatus alot of planets to cordon the Nids into said Ork Waagh
4f8094 No.14358749
>>14358747
Yep, he's on the run from the Imperium too
09dbf2 No.14358768
>>14358749
Except in 8th Edition apparently they kinda let him back into the Imperium since they need an Expert in REMOVING nids also Death Korps are in depression because nids don't want to invade Krieg
347734 No.14358794
>>14358747
That fucker looks like Samurai Goroh.
1f2e7c No.14359758
>>14358560
That's not how Orks work. They instinctively know what is Orky and what isn't.
438fe9 No.14360375
>>14358286
Well that was better than expected, thought it would have been something lame.
438fe9 No.14360390
>>14358768
I really like iunquisitor shitface and his ploy to cordon both the nids and the orks of the galaxy into a single fight, i could accept that saving the imperium.
> also Death Korps are in depression because nids don't want to invade Krieg
Kek, they probably notice the lack of delicius plant-life and other biomass since krieg is an irradiated shithole.
3f8711 No.14360517
>>14358286
>tfw get off lore videos
>can only do it when the narrator is as monotone as possible with no music at all
>it only happens on very old channels as new ones always have eloquent people and instrumentals playing
115620 No.14360614
>>14356102
>he woke up and saw what the Imperium had turned into.
>he had to travel through hell itself to make it to Terra
>once he gets there he discovers his father is an amoral godling who only cares about humanity in an abstract sense
>THEN the galaxy gets torn in half by a warp storm that makes the one that Lorgar summoned during the Heresy look like a warm summer's day
>most of the Marine homeworlds are cut off or destroyed
>FUCKING MORTARION invades part of Ultramar
>his closest ally is a multiple heretek who is almost certainly experimenting with Traitor geneseed even though he EXPRESSLY TOLD HIM NOT TO
"Shat himself" doesn't even begin to describe what this man's life is.
438fe9 No.14360656
>>14360614
Dont forget that hes internally screeching because he realized the imperial truth is a lie and the emperor is actually kind of a god with actual miracles.
6a9c79 No.14360684
>>14349983
>starcraft 2
I hope you're not referring to Wings Of Liberty. That had quite a lot of varied mission objectives and was quite fun even if the story was objectively shit. In fact I've replayed it 6 times over the last 6 years.
Legacy of the Void and HotS on the other hand…
09dbf2 No.14360881
>>14360614
Well, Blood Ravens and Silver Skulls can be counted as Successfull Traitor Legions Imperium Chapters. Don't know if Roboute would Tolerate them if they found out their history.
dd37a9 No.14360903
>40kucks
lmao enjoy getting kiked by (((GW)))
e313ae No.14360966
>>14360614
>Sons of the Phoenix
>Phoenix
>Purple
>Fabius Bile is looking closely for the Primaris Marines
Oh they are gonna get fucked.
d42590 No.14361561
I've just thought of the best Ork game that will never be made.
ORK SCRAPHEAP CHALLENGE!
For fags who don't know, Scrapheap Challenge was a show on Britbongistan /television/ that involved two teams competing to create a machine to accomplish a challenge using looted scrap components in a scrapyard. The creations were often highly inventive and worked more out of sheer willpower rather than logic. It was a damned Orky show. Just imagine a 40k game based on two teams creating their own Battlewagon or Stompy'fing to give each other a right good stomp?
ad35ac No.14361612
>>14361561
>Awl roight ya guys, on today'z Scrafeap Challenge, ya godda makde an armoreded kart ter break thruu da uumie posishunz. Ya clan az wun 'our. Begin!
>Awright guys, lets go git a tank from da uumies, deyz always gud fun.
>They go off an git a uumie tank.
>Meanwhile, in da uvver clan.
>No, no, no. A uumie tank az bin done before, weeb need sumthing bedda, biggur, wif more Dakka.
>Wot ubbout dem Nekrons boss? Deyz slow but they ab garg Dakka.
>…
>An 'ere weez at da reveul. Clan wun az a Looted Tank! They git past da furst line o' defensz but git killed by an AT rokkit.
>Erez Clan twuu! An wot izzat? A Looted Monolid! Look at da uumies, deyz leg'n ut in terror!
>Well, Clan twuu wins dis week. Join us next week wen weeb twuu more clans an put dim up ter da challenge o' usin' onlee Panzee Wraidlords.
131ac4 No.14361768
>>14361612
>>14361561
I need this in my life.
4f8094 No.14361959
>>14360903
>Not SJGW
What a lost chance
3b1596 No.14363293
>>14361612
>that orkspeech
Priceless.
9d6327 No.14366373
>>14353471
The only good xenos are the ones fighting against chaos scum. Since the Emperor already proved that he makes poor choices when it comes to Chaos. Eldar and Necrons are perfectly fine when they are helping to eliminate chaos scum and nids.
af1643 No.14366472
>>14366373
What about tau?
9c35ed No.14366627
>>14366472
They are 100% shit
438fe9 No.14366664
>>14366472
Blue ninja turtles with hooves and vaginas on their foreheads.
9530e3 No.14366704
>>14366472
I'm going to assume that the second pic is a Tau based on what you posted and my rebuke is that if you have to resdesign a species to not look like blue donkey ass with forehead vaginas in order to draw boobs on it in order to raise dicks you made a shitty looking race.
And from what I read of the lore and their introduction to the series they're a basic OC author's pet race who act like elves so fuuuuuuck them.
If a race is made for the sole purpose of shitting on humans and looking down on other races that shit's only good for a healthy dose of exterminatus with flamethrower on the side.
And the Eldar already exist. Tau are just Eldar with prissy airs in personality, they do the same horrible shit everyone else does and think they're doing everyone a favor.
438fe9 No.14366752
>>14366704
Thats a krootox, a vassal species ofthe tau that are great in melee.
131ac4 No.14367495
>>14366627
>>14366644
They are more 56% shit
9c35ed No.14367606
Tau deserve only exterminatus.
Objectively worst faction
131ac4 No.14367675
>>14367606
>Exterminatus
Their punishment must be more severe.
9d6327 No.14368158
>>14366472
The issue with the Tau is that while they also are fighting for order they are too much like the imperium during the great crusade and they don't take the threats of chaos and nids seriously enough.
dce09c No.14368179
>>14349572
Why is Inquisitor Martyr a bad game?
45b4e6 No.14368295
>>14368158
Tau are about to right good spanking as they are caught between the Nids and Necrons.
>>14368274
>No Kroot GF
Be careful what you wish for
>40k Civ
They really are throwing shit on the wall and seeing what sticks
695aca No.14368315
>>14368274
>wants a cannibal gf
You're a vorefag who wants to die of bloodloss and meatloss slowly.
f2d916 No.14368502
>>14353471
>Hating on the only primarch that isn't a massive autist
f2d916 No.14368544
>>14368517
Gorillaman is likable in fluff not written by that faggot
3b1596 No.14368680
>>14368274
>AdMech game
I approve.
4f8094 No.14368962
>>14368502
Vulkan is pure neurotypical
4e1d41 No.14369006
>>14368962
isnt vulkan a nigger tho?
3b1596 No.14369014
>>14369006
Technically yes, since his skin is like that because nocturnes has such high solar radiation he turned coal black forever.
also
>talking shit about vulkan
Hes one of the best primarchs together with dorn and jaghatai, you assmuncher.
4e1d41 No.14369025
>>14369014
I didnt talk shit about him I just asked if he was a nigger.
Well that makes him a blackface then
9d6327 No.14369142
>>14369025
Niggers are brown, Vulkan is like obsidian
3b1596 No.14369183
>>14369142
Depends on the kind of nigger though, some are pitch black, they have different peoples in africa too.
9d6327 No.14369279
>>14369183
Yeah but at the end of the day melanin is still brown and not black
9d60f7 No.14369294
>>14369183
He's also got glowing red eyes and Caucasian facial features.
2742c0 No.14369568
>>14366472
No nose and forehead vaginas, also Space Communists. 0/10 not even worth the ammunition it would take to purge them.
b918b2 No.14369665
>>14347731
>Are you looking forward to Battlefleet Ghotic 2?
I want it to be good. And I want my spaceshipfu
During the first games Beta Eldar vs Eldar was grandiose.
Considering what happened later on I fear that some rules won't be translatable to real time leading to balance going down the drain and/or nerfs killing a faction.
>>14349943
>>14351905
>>14353492
>>14353524
>all this lore fuckery by GW
>mfw
Good God I'm pretty glad I jumped ship after the 5th Edition.
>>14361561
so kinda like a Gorkamorka game?
>>14368274
>AdMech game about colonizing
It sounds like an interesting concept but I won't count on it ending up as a decent game.
698fd3 No.14369667
Hooktube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>14347731
>Inquisitor guy has basically abandoned his movie so he can make stuff full time with a studio instead of finishing "Inquisitor."
Typical.
b918b2 No.14369744
131ac4 No.14369799
>>14369665
After replaying Battlefleet Gothic Armada, they really fucked over the Campaign making it a massive chore to play through due to their multiplayer balance fuckups. You are basically locked into only a few ship choices now and abilities that were pretty much essential for completeing some missions like taunt have been removed from the game.
887509 No.14370112
>>14368274
trailer isgoodbut
>mobileshit devs
my expectations are in the negative
cde508 No.14375534
>>14369665
>Good God I'm pretty glad I jumped ship after the 5th Edition.
You're still gay so it doesn't really matter what you do, does it?
4f8094 No.14375630
f2516f No.14375669
>>14368179
Seconding the question, why is Inquisitor Martyr bad? I watched gameplay and it seemed like a typical ARPG to me, but the loot is distributed differently. Or was, since I heard that was changed.
3a0f2a No.14375848
>>14347731
Did you, or any of the /v/, actually try to play the Eisenhorn game? It's fucking horrible. But it could be fixed by a simple mod. A mod that makes combat lethal: Miss a blade swipe, ded. Fail to dodge a bullet, ded - and obviously trim the enemies down to 10% in quantity. 1-5 enemies is enough in an encounter. Now they spill them in like orkz in every single fight - way to make them feel like fodder, completely missing the point of playing an inquisitor, the all powerful secret police for the Emperor.
Playing an inquisitor in 40k, should be like playing Overlord/MaxPayne/Batman Detective Game/Sherlock Fucking Xenoseeker Torquemada.
131ac4 No.14375929
>>14375848
>Eisenhorn
I honestly forgot it existed. Then again it was a mobile game.
3a0f2a No.14376057
>>14375929
>I honestly forgot it existed.
Me too, but found it in my HD and gave it a good play through. The story is pretty fucking good and the atmosphere is insanely good at some parts. But it is all covered in stupid as fuck combat sections and contextual button pressing shit.
Remove most of the combat and filler and it would be a fine story driven 40k title. But it was made in the arkhamcombat+contextual button "puzzle" era, so we got a shit game.
Still better than any of the nu-shit.
131ac4 No.14377203
>>14376057
Didn't it have Mark Strong in it as well?
fa7d7f No.14383034
Dump your Black Templar memes. All of them. They deserve recognition!
17b549 No.14383142
>>14351490
That's the boy from that series "If The Emperor Had A Podcast"? The one with Sigismund Helbrecht was fucking hilarious.
fa7d7f No.14383170
>>14383034
Aren't they getting phased out, like slaanesh?
9752fd No.14384324
>>14383170
They seem to have had less attention recently so maybe, it's more likely GW will start to ignore them than kill them off though.
bd89f7 No.14384494
>>14383142
He's gonna need to get cyber augmentation already, so why doesn't Dorn recruit him into the Imperial Fists and make him achieve his dream.
dda8ea No.14384581
>>14384494
>Dorn
Their version of Dorn amuses me more than I think it should.
131ac4 No.14384652
>>14384324
GW sort of forgets most Chapters exist. For example when was the last time we heard something about the White Scars?
742913 No.14384861
>>14384652
True. Its not enought that GW have a massive boner for the spess mahines, that it hurts the setting/game. No, GW almost only care for a bunch of chapters, forgetting about other big ones ( not talking about some small snowflake obscure chapter, not). Even being the face of the franchise, other factions were important lore and sale wise. But know its always spess marines, chaos spess marines, and imperial guard in some ocasions. Nothing more.
131ac4 No.14385055
>>14384861
Well GW have this mentality they are a model maker, not a game maker.
3b1596 No.14388110
>>14383170
None of that is happening, black templars were the main space marine chapter present in the gathering storm books and also followed guilliman to terra.
131ac4 No.14388161
>>14388110
They heard there was a Crusade and got their as fast as they could.
3b1596 No.14388194
>>14388161
Indeed, the chapter master even had a blaze of glory killing a gigantic demon.
e41fbc No.14389565
>>14388110
That's gay. If any chapter would have started and had a chance of winning a civil war against rowboats faggotry it would have been the Black Templars. I really don't see them just accepting Primaris marines like that.
9752fd No.14390984
>>14384652
The Iron Hands are the most forgotten Legion/Chapter.
3b1596 No.14390991
>>14389565
Primaris werent a thing by that point, they appeared with the indomitus crusade, wich happened after guilliman got to terra.
131ac4 No.14391733
>>14390991
I don't think most Chapters would take too kindly to being replaced by the Primark Marines.
21b458 No.14391854
>>14389565
>>14391733 (checked)
For the space marines themselves, they have the possibility of becoming Primaris which is a complete upgrade (so far) over "regular" gene seed. It makes sense given the absolute state of the Imperium that they'd want to gain any sort of edge they can even though GW introduced >muh tol spess mehreens the worst way they could have
31d31f No.14391874
>Warhammer thread on vee
>Immediately turns to shit
Tau were a mistake. No money is worth the influx of weeaboo faggots into the hobby. Not that GW cares.
a2e367 No.14391880
>>14391854
Nice titties! <3
fa7d7f No.14391896
For all the BT lovers out there <3
c0c458 No.14391926
>>14391874
anyone got the soyboy tau edit of this picture?
131ac4 No.14392068
>>14390984
I thought they got a good chunk of lore recently?
>>14391874
Tau are excellent targets
>>14391896
>First pic
loli Crusade when?
4f8094 No.14392213
fa7d7f No.14392338
fa7d7f No.14392341
>>14392338
The Loli crusade happens in 41k*
c0c458 No.14392356
>>14392213
kill yourself newfag soyboy. It was posted in the previous wh40k thread
3fd9ae No.14392366
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14366644
There color scheme is cool as fuck, too bad giants waifu mechs are so obvious otaku bait, they could have used the Evangelion`s EVAs effect of absorbing ones consciences and pull off a ghost in the machine thing with the same weeb appeal, yet maintaining the grimdark.
319d45 No.14392368
>>14392068
I want to know more about this picture.
is there a story behind this? It's fucking fascinating.
131ac4 No.14392383
>>14392213
>>14392338
Details?
>>14392368
Look up the Iron Warriros and in particular Honsou.
31d31f No.14392384
>>14392368
That's how babby CSM is formed.
c0c458 No.14392405
>>14392068
chaos, not even once
c39c66 No.14392443
When are we going to get Dunkork or a Penitent Engine based imperial mecha?
fd389a No.14392488
>>14392368
Iron Warriors wanted to make new space marines, decided to let Honsou work on it, turns out he's a sick fuck and the end result was something that would make both Nurgle and Slannesh mildly queasy.
131ac4 No.14392573
>>14392443
When we get a Commissar Yarrick sidescroller beatemup
b19742 No.14393195
How did Battlefleet Gothic Armada get so fucked?
229e63 No.14393645
>>14393195
Multiplayer "balance" patches affected the singleplayer.
fa7d7f No.14393802
fa7d7f No.14393813
>>14392405
Noise marines are pretty cool though
fa7d7f No.14393820
>>14392341
Here's more proof of Loli crusades
9752fd No.14394738
>>14392068
>I thought they got a good chunk of lore recently?
Really? That's good I suppose personally I've been ignoring all the new lore, who would have thought advancing the fucking story would be worse than permanent 40k stasis?
f15bee No.14394849
>>14355829
>Regroup at mah landin' zone!
Alright, that's pretty good.
8679ee No.14396975
>>14369744
Which original DLCs are compatible with this mod?
131ac4 No.14397076
>>14393802
That's not proofs!
8679ee No.14397090
>>14396975
Also, how do I fix the game crashing at "Processing flags" part?
731aaa No.14397164
>>14397076
It's from the fan fiction in my mind
80ab3f No.14399206
>>14396975
All are compatible.
Useful on the other hand…
>Horse Lords - Many races, such as Blood Dragon Vampires and High Elfs use HL mechanics(Such as tributaries and dynamic mercs)
>Legacy of Rome - Many powerful retinues that balance certain races are contained here.(Namely, any of the Vampires)
>The Republic - There are many different merchant republics scattered across the globe.
>The Old Gods - Norse flavor and events for the Norscans and Kislevite pagans(Northern gods religion).
>Processing flags
Do you have the right version?
Worst case scenario is a full reinstall.
131ac4 No.14399584
8679ee No.14401161
>>14399206
I just downloaded the latest CK build from IGG, the 2.8.1.1. version plus the mod and hotfix from the thread.
0c7c97 No.14402768
72d11b No.14402782
>>14402768
>Telling anons to say please
Are you that paternal anon that goes around trying to teach anons good manners?
4f4ea6 No.14403661
I'm surprised nobody is talking about this : http://store.steampowered.com/app/673880/Warhammer_40000_Mechanicus/
Turn based tactics and developed for PC, not mobile or console shit.
3b1596 No.14403738
>>14403661
Im holding any hope until it releases and its atleast ok.
131ac4 No.14404152
8c1840 No.14404179
>>14403661
There's nothing much to say until it releases. Small devs pick up the 40k license and a lot of them don't do a great job, so it's better to just wait and see.
37decc No.14404324
>>14384494
He probably would if the boy ever appears in the main series.
131ac4 No.14407863
>>14404316
>Shotas of Battle
3b1596 No.14408817
>>14407863
>not knowing that sororitas are huge pedos
The only men allowed in their convents are cadets of the scholla progenia, so future arbites, stormtroopers and comissars, think about that for a moment.
7c7fc2 No.14408819
>>14408817
Do you think there's ugly sororitas?
90b81d No.14408826
>>14404179
I still don't understand why GW went from "NOBODY TOUCH OUR IP EVER" to "yolo just do whatev maaaan", going from few and niche (but mostly good!) games to endless mobile trash.
cf68eb No.14408858
>>14350075
Anyone play Betrayal at Calth yet?
Where's that fall on the list?
131ac4 No.14408866
>>14408817
Just imagine the headpats
3b1596 No.14408883
>>14408819
Well of course, most of them are extremely muscular and filled with battlescars and augmentations, everyone just prefers to think they are cute, pure maidens amongst all the grimmdark.
>>14408866
I can only imagine plenty of boys getting hit with rulers because there must be no noise at the chappel except for prayers.
>>14408826
They changed CEO after the whole endtimes and are trying new things to see what sticks, i rather they keep handling the ip, since it increases the chances of good vidya.
913442 No.14408901
>>14408883
>I can only imagine plenty of boys getting hit with rulers because there must be no noise at the chappel except for prayers.
The power ruler is an excellent tool for keeping boys in line and unable to sit.
0a44c7 No.14409775
>>14408819
Nothing that can't be corrected with surgery.
0a44c7 No.14409777
072ff7 No.14409827
>>14409775
C'mon, post image.
131ac4 No.14410112
>>14409775
What if Soritas are Shotas that have undergone surgery?
eef3c8 No.14410159
>with no shitposting or xenos shall we?
No
d6548d No.14410206
>>14351680
I wanna fuck that bird.
>>14351764
I want to sodomize that ork
8679ee No.14411296
>>14410206
As soon as he heard one of his comrades scream “SQUAD BROKEN!", Eduardo the Space Marine knew that he was doomed. He charged forth in a panic, firing his plasma gun wildly into the air. Somehow the orks had surrounded them! Eduardo’s teammates ran shrieking into the depths of the abandoned tanker, the grunting lustful orks in swift pursuit. Soon Eduardo was alone.
The brawny Space Marine collapsed against a wall, panting raggedly. His plasma gun had nearly overheated, and his com units were malfunctioning. No use even if they worked. By now, his whole squad was surely dead.
Lost in his thoughts, Eduardo did not hear the ork creeping up on him. Stunned by a blow to the head, Eduardo was thrown violently to the floor. The ork grunted in amusement, bending down and straddling his body. Dazed, Eduardo turned his head to look up at his enemy. The ork fellow was huge, well muscled and even attractive for his species. Right now the ork’s vibrant green skin was flushing dark in arousal. Eduardo whimpered as he realized what was about to happen.
Summoning up his powers as a Blood Angel, Eduardo bellowed in the Black Rage and began to flail about under the ork. The ork simply grunting, riding the panicked Space Marine like a rodeo bull. Already weakened, Eduardo simply did not have the strength to dislodge the much heavier ork.
All that thrashing around served to arouse the ork further. His name was Gurk, and the friction as the puny Marine flopped around between his muscular thighs was giving him quite a respectable hard-on. Gurk had meant to save the Marine for his own squad, but he couldn’t wait any longer. Whipping out his own plasma gun, Gurk seared off the back of the Marine’s armor, leaving his shining buttocks bare to the ork’s lustful gaze.
Eduardo moaned in fear, his virgin asscheeks clapping firmly together to deny the ork entrance. Gurk simply laughed, ripping off his crude orkish loincloth to reveal a thick green meat pole, nearly 12 inches long. The ork stuck one calloused finger down his throat, bringing up a thick vomit slurry which spattered down into the crack of Eduardo’s ass. Smearing the foul vomit around with one brutish paw, Gurk prepared the Space Marine’s tender anus for playtime.
Much to Gurk’s frustration, his cock was simply too large to fit inside Eduardo’s tight man cunt. He grunted furiously, screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" in his deep orkish voice as he battered his fuckmeat against Eduardo’s tightly sealed pleasure ring. Suddenly the Space Marine’s portal gave way, and the swollen head of Gurk’s cock popped through into the forbidden halls of his anus. Gurk’s pleased snort was drowned out by Eduardo’s scream of agony.
The ork began to pump away in earnest, his bulging muscular hips and thighs slamming brutally against Eduardo’s ass. His heavy, furry balls slapped against the human’s ass merrily, creating a calypso that pleased Gurk mightily. Blood, a thin smear of feces, and Gurk’s own oily yellow pre-cum lubricated Eduardo’s asshole until it was as hot and slippery as Gurk’s own mother’s cunt.
Poor Eduardo was swiftly going into shock from the pain. His mind growing dim, he screamed “SQUAD BROKEN! SQUAD BROKEN!" over and over as the ork thrust brutally into his bruised insides. The ork’s massive cock had caused a large degree of internal damage, and Eduardo was close to passing out from blood loss and fear. If his squad didn’t find him soon, Eduardo knew that he would soon die. His poor plasma gun discharged into the floor one final time, overheating from a mix of pleasure and agonizing pain.
The Space Marine had been a good fuck for Gurk, but he needed something special to truly finish. Gurk’s heavy balls drew up close to his body, and he felt himself tensing, about to cum. As Gurk’s thick semen roiled up out of his cock and into Eduardo’s battered body, the ork slammed his powerful hands shut around the Marine’s neck. With a vicious jerk up and back, the ork crushed the Marine’s windpipe and vertebrae, swiftly ending his life. Eduardo’s anus clamped shut around Gurk’s cock, the painful tightness almost causing the ork to pass out.
Gurk roared out as he climaxed in the dead Marine, his beautiful green cock pumping load after load of thick ork jizzum into Eduardo’s lower intestine. The ork pulled out as Eduardo’s anus slowly relaxed, releasing Gurk’s cock with a wet sucking sound. Gurk used the sleeve of the Marine’s uniform to wipe the thick scum of blood, shit and cum from his swiftly withering ork meat. With a satisfied grunt, Gurk walked slowly away from the Marine.
Eduardo’s corpse lay cooling on the floor of the tanker, the charred remnants of his uniform stained dark with the foul fluids of both the ork and himself.
Squad broken.
3b1596 No.14415077
>>14410112
Fuck off ND.
>>14411296
>eduardo the space marine
Crimson fists are not for lewding ok?
They are for blaze of glory and ork killing.
131ac4 No.14417434
>>14415077
Crimson fists enjoy a good fisting.
e313ae No.14417456
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14350054
>>14352332
Because GeeDubs are fucking retards who whore out their IP to anyone who can pay.