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 No.1037455>>1037485 >>1037486 >>1037514 >>1037602 >>1037663 >>1037683 >>1037833 >>1037921 >>1037932 >>1037945 >>1038627 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]

Is there anything more cringeworthy than these "koans"?

https://sanctum.geek.nz/arabesque/vim-koans/

http://stevelosh.com/blog/2013/04/git-koans/

And of course half the people in them are women because we all know the field is really saturated with women

 No.1037459>>1037909 >>1038233

I've never understood the point of koans, they're incredibly uninteresting and while you might learn some stuff from them ultimately what you've built is of no utility to you.


 No.1037463>>1037562 >>1038233

>taking an ancient proverb style and throwing coding into it

Sounds like prime plebbit soycuck to me.


 No.1037465>>1037470 >>1037471


 No.1037470

>>1037465


And who better understands the Unix-nature?” Master Foo asked. Is it he who writes the ten thousand lines, or he who, perceiving the emptiness of the task, gains merit by not coding?”

Upon hearing this, the programmer was enlightened.

lmao and somehow lispfag still pretends he isn't the living embodiment of Unix.


 No.1037471>>1037473 >>1038038 >>1038234

Yeah this is pretty difficult to top. Programmers constantly pull shit that would get you barred for life from any engineering profession, but have egos the size of Jupiter. Nonsensical programming language analogies are also as cringy as it gets.

>>1037465

esr is one of the main culprits behind this self-aggrandizing garbage.


 No.1037473>>1038251

>>1037471

>esr is one of the main culprits behind this self-aggrandizing garbage.

very true as that is basically all he does


 No.1037477>>1037608

What do you think of these:

http://thecodelesscode.com/

?


 No.1037485


 No.1037486>>1037947 >>1038553 >>1038581 >>1038771 >>1046860 >>1046980

File (hide): 5aae40b662ce894⋯.webm (8.49 MB, 854x480, 427:240, manga_version_of_serial_e….webm) (h) (u) [play once] [loop]


 No.1037514>>1037525

>>1037455 (OP)

Drink bleach and shoot yourself in the mouth, you fucking failed abortion.


 No.1037525


 No.1037562

>>1037463

It's Gnuddhism actually


 No.1037563

chanayana gnuddhism is gay


 No.1037602>>1037608 >>1037621

>>1037455 (OP)

I similarly find these koans to be awful, in general. There are very few that are worthwhile.

I particularly dislike Eric Raymond's koans concerning UNIX:

http://catb.org/esr/writings/unix-koans

There's also this drivel, where characters are regularly killed for slights; of course, many of the characters are women here, as well:

http://thecodelesscode.com

In brief, I see koans as naught but sophistry.


 No.1037608

>>1037477

The author gives a shit about cultural appropriation lol

>>1037602

>In brief, I see koans as naught but sophistry.

That may be true but you don't have to sound like a faggot while saying it


 No.1037610>>1037625

>Chu, called Kokushi, the teacher of the emperor, called to his attendant: `Oshin.'

>Oshin answered: `Yes.'

>Chu repeated, to test his pupil: `Oshin.'

>Oshin repeated: `Yes.'

>Chu called: `Oshin.'

>Oshin answered: `Yes.'

>Chu said `I ought to apologize for you for all this calling, but really you ought to apologize to me.'

Now I want to ask you: Which one should apologize?


 No.1037615>>1037621

Eric S. Raymond ripped off the style when he "revised" the Jargon File. The UNIX ones make you cringe because they ran it into the ground. It's like Reddit with rage face memes.

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

Subject: Re: MC:HUMOR;JARGON > 

The JARGON file is being updated. The guy doing so has
changed the nasty references to Unix to refer to MS-DOS
because "all the ITS partisans have now become Unix
partisans, since the Unix philosophy is the same as the
ITS philosophy." as he says.

YAAAARRGGGH!!!

If you would be gracious enough to identify this, um, I
believe the proper term is "loser", then we might have the
opportunity to clarify our philosophical differences.


 No.1037621>>1038553

>>1037615

To clarify, I'm >>1037602 and I agree. Those koans are the very few I mentioned that are good and that one in particular is one you can even share in casual conversation.

I prefer the AI lab koans to the old koans about Mu and Ganto's axe and other Eastern things I find nonsensical.


 No.1037625>>1037628 >>1037645

>>1037610

Productive person's answer: Who cares? Get a job.


 No.1037627>>1038553

A cocky novice once said to Stallman: “I can guess why the editor is called Emacs, but why is the justifier called Bolio?”

Stallman replied forcefully: “Names are but names, ‘Emack & Bolio's’ is the name of a popular ice cream shop in Boston-town. Neither of these men had anything to do with the software.”

His question answered, yet unanswered, the novice turned to go, but Stallman called to him: “Neither Emack nor Bolio had anything to do with the ice cream shop, either.”

(The store is named after two homeless men.)


 No.1037628

>>1037625

A monk asked Master Haryo, “What is the way?”

Haryo said, “An open-eyed man falling into the well.”


 No.1037645>>1037650

>>1037625

>monk

<job

>>>monk

<<<job

>>>>>>>>>>monk

<<<<<<<<<<job

that is their job idiot


 No.1037650>>1037651

>>1037645

>implying I was talking about the monks

Maybe if you spent a little less time navel-gazing and a bit more time outside you wouldn't be such a retard.


 No.1037651>>1037652 >>1037656

>>1037650

Have you eaten breakfast?


 No.1037652>>1037653 >>1037656

>>1037651

Have you taken your soy pill?


 No.1037653>>1037654 >>1037656

>>1037652

No. Have you eaten breakfast?


 No.1037654>>1037655 >>1037656

>>1037653

Yes. Now go get your soy.


 No.1037655>>1037656 >>1037657

>>1037654

Wash your bowl.


 No.1037656>>1037658


 No.1037657

>>1037655

Are you trying to make a "koan" with me in it? OK, I'm enlightened. Don't forget your HRT.


 No.1037658>>1037660

>>1037656

Shut up, nerd.


 No.1037660

>>1037658

The path of cringless cringe is the one true way, friend.


 No.1037663

>>1037455 (OP)

This looks like a rip-off of ESR's actually good "Master Fu and the UNIX Koran". Stupid copycats


 No.1037683

>>1037455 (OP)

They probably remind you of yourself. That's likely why you cringe.


 No.1037692

>How will you know you have mastered technology?

<When you never use it.


 No.1037705>>1037714

>cringing ever

Never understood this meme.


 No.1037714

>>1037705

When an anonymous poster makes an unskillfull post, with no tact; it could said that that poster has made a cringeworthy post. When an anonymous poster makes a cringeworthy post, and there is no cringe in response, then is it really cringeworthy?

Your post is both skillfull and enlightened. The quality of cringe we seek is ever changing and ever fleeting, yet surrounds us at all times. Such is the way of the cringeless cringe.


 No.1037833

>>1037455 (OP)

All these koans come off as "hurr durr, I read a Wikipedia entry on far-eastern philosophy, so now I can write my own".


 No.1037879

Seems like just a pretentious FAQ/tips section.


 No.1037909

>>1037459

>while you might learn some stuff from them ultimately what you've built is of no utility to you.

But you get enlightened, like a man who bumps his head on a chandelier.


 No.1037921>>1037949

>>1037455 (OP)

Sounds like some self important bullshit made my "coder" dipshits that not only makes a disrespectful mockery of actual religions and spiritual beliefs but also shows just how full of themselves they are.


 No.1037932>>1037940

>>1037455 (OP)

>Is there anything more cringeworthy than these "koans"?

http://www.gnu.org/licenses/licenses.html#GPL


 No.1037940

>Is there anything more cringeworthy than these "koans"?

>>1037932


 No.1037945

>>1037455 (OP)

>Explicit is better than implicit

>pull = pull --ff-only

Lol


 No.1037947

>>1037486

That's not even cringe. It's just sad.


 No.1037949>>1037954 >>1037955 >>1037957 >>1037965 >>1038079 >>1038134

>>1037921

The jokes are stupid, but religions deserve no respect.


 No.1037954>>1038058 >>1038148 >>1038161

File (hide): 9e47236d82dfc72⋯.jpg (415.82 KB, 2423x1433, 2423:1433, 9e47236d82dfc72d7b79ff53b6….jpg) (h) (u)


 No.1037955>>1038161

File (hide): 2f293c11cef4111⋯.png (59.93 KB, 350x296, 175:148, Original Islam Wojack.png) (h) (u)

>>1037949

Stay mad degenerate.


 No.1037957>>1038161

File (hide): 548e3dfc62024f8⋯.jpg (14.24 KB, 480x360, 4:3, hey.jpg) (h) (u)

>>1037949

hey nigger


 No.1037965>>1037974 >>1038021 >>1038161

>>1037949

> things that survived for thousands of years deserve no respect


 No.1037974>>1038061 >>1038161

>>1037965

> things that survived for thousands of years

> crocodiles survived in current form for millions of years

Therefore crocodiles are supreme beings


 No.1038021>>1038030 >>1038104 >>1038148 >>1038226

>>1037965

In its earliest days religion served as a guideline that prevented humans from subverting to degeneracy and gave them the ideal image of life in the form of the heavens. After the Age Enlightenment, men began to accept themselves as the ideal; religion is no longer needed for the development of society.


 No.1038030>>1038061

>>1038021

Men seeing themselves as the ideal is the cause of the individualist degeneracy plaguing the west. We need a new religion that isn't the worship of the individual, or the worship of technology if we want to avoid complete societal destruction


 No.1038038>>1038061 >>1038104

>>1037471

While i consider systems programming to be real engineering and science, I think that fact that you invent systems literally out of thin air in software, with no physical artifacts to instinctively judge the results by, the basic enabler of this type of horseshit.

The same phenomenon BTW it is what permits poos and womyn to get their for in the door into the field. White men create the basic frameworks to simplify the basic process, then the pretenders ride on top of that throwing shit against everything wall in hopes something will stick.


 No.1038057

Some 3 years ago my college colleagues were on local TV talking about "groundbreaking" tech gadget they "created".

7 of them total, 4 of them women, 3 of which are economy students and couple of no brain code monkeys.

They made a fucking teddy bear with camera for an eye. Shit that existed for couple of decades now.


 No.1038058>>1038073


 No.1038061>>1038068

>>1037974

Crocodiles do deserve respect and deference though. If you fuck with them they will kill you very easily.

>>1038030

Just need the churches to quit being pussies. Every one I've been to "oh, God loves you, if you sin he'll forgive you so long as you apologize." There's never a line in the sand. "Oh, I know the book says not to fuck dozens of men in the ass, but surely God loves you just the way you are so it's okay." There's no teeth to it anymore. Fire and brimstone, fear of God and righteous punishment are needed to keep the retard normalcattle in line. If you're intelligent enough to not be a degenerate without being told you'll burn forever good on you, but

>>1038038

When fuckups cost nothing but time (and you're getting paid by the hour) people have no incentive to actually do it right.


 No.1038068

>>1038061

brats say "God sends people to hell? God destroys cities? That doesn't sound like a very loving God to me!"

then they grow up, look around, and wonder: "where is God? What kind of a loving God could possibly restrain himself from smashing this planet to bits?"

churches need to appeal to the second group, but instead they try to appeal to the first group.

this is a mystery.


 No.1038073>>1038161

>>1038058

>someone got so triggered by fedora memes they drew this


 No.1038079>>1038161

File (hide): 6cfb7249c37eedb⋯.png (723.46 KB, 680x858, 340:429, tdpunish.png) (h) (u)


 No.1038104>>1038148 >>1038747

File (hide): 3b5f9c02353bd73⋯.jpg (1.32 MB, 2580x2336, 645:584, if-religion-didnt-exist.jpg) (h) (u)

>>1038021

>After the Age Enlightenment, men began to accept themselves as the ideal; religion is no longer needed for the development of society.

Pic related

>>1038038

I blame the general computer illiteracy in the population. If you were to build a shack from plywood and scraps and then call yourself an architect everyone and their mother would laugh at you because they know what a real house is supposed to look like. Anyone who isn't a mouthbreathing retard can build a shack from plywood and scraps.

However, when it comes to computers, the equivalent of plywood and scraps that is modern software development of "just throw some shit together, it it runs slow tell people to buy a better processor". But for the technologically illiterate even this Pajeet tier shit is like magic because they cannot even write a Hello World on the shell.

Imagine living in a world where people don't know what a hammer is. Anyone who can nail two boards together would be seen as some kind of wizard. There would be no social filter that would bring those people back down to earth. No, you are not a wizard, you are not an ancient Chinese monk on a mountain top. You're an idiot with a hammer and some nails who nailed some scrap wood together.


 No.1038134>>1038147 >>1038161 >>1038535

>>1037949

I think buddhism among most religions deserves respect. In fact it isn't a religion like the majority of others are. They don't worship gods of any kind but from what I understand seek to cultivate something within themselves. It's more nuanced than I can explain or understand from my readings.

Anyway the others deserve respect where it's due anyway. I would give some reasons but it's clear to me that you're just a shitposting faggot, so I won't waste my time.


 No.1038147>>1038189

>>1038134

They don't worship gods but do believe in other realms/dimensions. The point is to cultivate non-attachment so you don't have to repeat an infinite number of lives. If you have craving or attachment you get to be reborn again in another realm of suffering. Apparently if you are able to awaken yourself or "enter the stream" you have a maximum of 7 lives left, which to Buddhists is a much preferable alternative.


 No.1038148

>>1038021

No, don't tell christcucks they're wrong about something or they'll start posting shit like this

>>1037954

>>1038104

Politics, religion, and sexuality for the majority of people is more about picking and choosing comfortable ideas than it is about trying to describe trends in the world around us.

People start with a conclusion or sensibility they're psychologically attached to, and then try to build their arguments up from it.


 No.1038161>>1038167 >>1039161


 No.1038167>>1038240

>>1038161

<tips le fedora


 No.1038189>>1038535 >>1039161

>>1038147

>The point is to cultivate non-attachment

Mfw I'm a Buddhist without even trying


 No.1038226

>>1038021

You're right that religion doesn't necessary have to be the moral guideline. But there still must be a moral guideline.


 No.1038233

>>1037463

This.

>>1037459

They are just means to get a student to think about something for a good long while.


 No.1038234

>>1037471

DUDE

MICRODOSING LSD

LMAO


 No.1038240>>1040610

>>1038167

I rest my case


 No.1038251>>1038262 >>1038272 >>1038322 >>1038545 >>1038619 >>1039098

File (hide): 685c60d14c5b269⋯.png (248.55 KB, 1079x1876, 1079:1876, cut-glass flyswatter.png) (h) (u)

>>1037473

Hey now, he doesn't only aggrandize himself


 No.1038262

File (hide): fe3da51e674dbcb⋯.jpg (278.92 KB, 654x720, 109:120, 1641433086021.jpg) (h) (u)

>>1038251

>shut up and listen


 No.1038272


 No.1038322

>>1038251

>...soggy lump of excrement...

He's been waiting to use that line since the eight grade, hasn't he?


 No.1038535


 No.1038545

>>1038251

ESR is the epicist shitposter. Too bad he thinks Non-Free Software should coexist with free. Damn Open Source idiots.


 No.1038553>>1038610

I don't think these koans are that terrible. What's so cringe about them?

>https://sanctum.geek.nz/arabesque/vim-koans/

A bit simplistic and about as satisfying as the original koans, if you know enough vim to get what it's talking about. But adds very little so you might as well enjoy the actual koans instead. I guess brainlet soibois can't into cultural relativism so you have to put in a context they're familiar with or they get too distracted.

>http://stevelosh.com/blog/2013/04/git-koans/

This was boring, I couldn't even finish reading. Seems more like a very abstruse and incomplete git manual than a koan. Koans aren't just pithy and vague for the sake of being mysterious, they're supposed to trigger your brain into contemplating big philosophical questions that are hard to express succinctly.

>http://www.catb.org/~esr/writings/unix-koans/

These aren't too bad. They're not great, but at least have proper structure of a simple narrative with ironic humor that points to an interesting philosophical idea.

>http://thecodelesscode.com

This one is just silly. The pastiches are much worse than the original they parody. And the ones that seem original, I don't get why they have violence as a punch line. The koan doesn't really work as a narrative joke, and on an intellectual level, resolving a philosophical conflict with violence between characters is just unsatisfying.

>http://wiki.linuxquestions.org/wiki/AI_Koans

>>1037627

I like these a lot. I enjoy the humor and they are actually enlightening. The nice thing about these is that they don't just try to express random wisdom about life, but wisdom about math and computation. My favorites are the ones about Knight and Sussman.

>>1037621

I'm not that well read on actual eastern philosophy, but I feel like while they have a good amount of genuinely illuminating stuff, they also have a lot of ridiculous nonsense. In the West we also have a lot of shit philosophy (eg post modernism) mixed in with good stuff (eg plato). Even within Plato's stuff he had a lot of good ideas but also some retarded ones. Anyways, the worst koans are so bad that their nonsensical content is humorous, so I like the ones where the localization to something like Java or OOP makes it even more ridiculous.

>>1037486

The new, /tech/nological Sam Hyde?


 No.1038581>>1041037

>>1037486

I can't stop staring at his teeth. They are so perfectly blunt and the same height, as if someone grinded them down. No canine teeth, just a perfectly herbivore mouth.


 No.1038605

Welcome to /religion/


 No.1038610

>>1038553

> The new, /tech/nological Sam Hyde?

More like BG Kumbi.


 No.1038619

>>1038251

Jesus Christ this reads like something the multics shitposter would make up about C fanboys. Fucking ESR.


 No.1038627

>>1037455 (OP)

>And of course half the people in them are women because we all know the field is really saturated with women

Like xkcd tbh.


 No.1038747>>1041017

>>1038104

While I'd prefer a white christian society, I'll play devil's advocate here, because there's a problem with your pic:

Current year western culture is not a real atheist, religionless society. Christianity was simply replaced by another religion, Satanism (the combination of leftism, socialism, marxism, degeneracy, subversion and hedonism).

Satanists claim to be all for science and logic. But whenever science and logical thinking go against these people's actions and beliefs, they'll straight up say that science and logical thinking are haram and should be ignored or even banned.


 No.1038771

File (hide): f17ba576b7e1d44⋯.webm (11.56 MB, 320x240, 4:3, f17ba576b7e1d44ae768e19bc….webm) (h) (u) [play once] [loop]

>>1037486

99% of this board


 No.1039098

>>1038251

wew lad


 No.1039161>>1039344

>>1038189

Apathy isn't the same thing

>>1038161

I never even mentioned Christianity. I'm not a christcuck, maybe you should read posts before replying to them you stupid fucking mongoloid.


 No.1039344>>1040611 >>1040927

>>1039161

>I'm not a christcuck

<tips fedora


 No.1040213>>1040214

A monk asked Tozen when he was weighing some flax, "What is Buddha?"

Tozen said, "This flax weighs three pounds.


 No.1040214

>>1040213

The student heard this admonition and felt as if he had tasted sweet nectar.


 No.1040610

File (hide): 7dbad02bd6de5d5⋯.jpg (408.75 KB, 800x1420, 40:71, 92287_800x1420.jpg) (h) (u)

>>1038240

>If you call me a fedora tipper, you are too sensitive!

>Please don't call me a fedora tipper!


 No.1040611

>>1039344

>He thinks only christians mock fedora tippers.

Heh


 No.1040927

>>1039344

He is a Pagan more likely than not.


 No.1040931

I thought /tech/ liked the Tao of Programming

http://www.mit.edu/~xela/tao.html


 No.1041017

>>1038747

Horseshit. What you call satanism isn't satanism, isn't a religion and doesn't exist.


 No.1041037

>>1038581

That's nothing, you should've seen an old buddy of mine. His teeth are so perfectly simmetric, white, and evenly sized and spaced, that the dude seems to be on dentures. I've asked, he claims they're natural and he has visited the dentist very few times in his life. What's even stranger is that he's borderline obese and eats the part.


 No.1046339>>1046340

>--ff-only

>“Then why did you not warn me of a problem with my configuration?” she asked.

>Master Git replied: “there was no problem.”

Indeed. Imho veryone who doesn't rebase his branch before PR'ing should be murdered slowly.


 No.1046340

>>1046339

...though the morale was probably something else in that example, lel.


 No.1046350>>1046834 >>1046901

Lainchan loves these.


 No.1046834

>>1046350

lainchan is faggot central


 No.1046860

>>1037486

Well, he's using CDE, for what it's worth.


 No.1046901

>>1046350

not even remotely surprising


 No.1046980

>>1037486

Holy fuck. I think I have that book.




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