>>1002324
Thanks for the information healthy vision Anon. (and other vision Anons)
>Try squeezing your eyelids closed without scrunching up any of your face muscles for example.
I'm curious if you have any remarks about my own anecdote.
My vision context: I can't usually read street signs that are 4 feet away.
When I meditate, I often close my eyes with the intent of "not seeing black, but turning my vision off". Whatever I'm subconsciously doing to achieve this abstract goal, triggers some kind of phosphene effect. Specifically what I envision is like changing color gradients that look kind of like fat moving worms or waves. The colors look almost like what happens when you do these "impossible colors" cross eye things, but not as extreme. But not as gradual as how some people describe color blindess gradients changing colors while looking at a static gradient.
When I "come back to reality", I feel like what I'm doing is involuntarily crossing my eyes towards the nose (like double esotropia) and I assume this is bad because I feel a sensation of pressure on the side of the actual eyeball towards the nose on each eye. Originally I thought my eyes where rolling into the back of my head but I don't have any idea what direction they're actually facing as the whole point is to try and ignore my sensations.
I don't force this, it just happen when I stop thinking about my senses and focus deeply on audio and then later, my own thoughts (leaving my hearing behind as well).
However, recently I began to force my cheek bones down and my eyebrows up (no other muscles) to elongate my face before going into some deeper mental state. Both the phsophene and pressure I mentioned before doesn't happen in this scenario.
As for the eyeballs I feel like they're in the opposite state as before (exotropia). In reality, I can't actually tell what direction they're facing since the lids are closed and if I try and think about it, they recenter anyway. It's rare that I've been able to open the lids and not have this happen but the image I make out more or less looks like exotropia in that case. I have a very wide panoramic view of my room that changes in clarity.
I don't know if anything there is of note, but if you want to remark on anything I'd be interested in it. I can also give more autistic details or even try doing something if you want. Not a request, just putting this out there.
Additional context, when I was a kid I was really dumb and often pushed against my eyes to see gif related (a different type of phsophene).