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/sw/ - Star Wars

The Empire did nothing wrong.
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/sw/ sister boards
[ • russia/sw//tv//tg/ • ]

File: 35c433984078c00⋯.jpg (1.23 MB, 4000x2250, 16:9, 496101-Star_Wars-Star_Wars….jpg)

 No.7865

Some nerd recut the movie down to "basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff". While I'm sure it's an elaborate troll, the response has been about what you would expect. http://archive.fo/MYnTA

Some of the changes include: https://pastebin.com/wweQCNc2

>No whiny/reluctant/murderous psycho Luke.

>NO HALDO! She simply doesn't exist. Her whole subplot doesn't exist. The Kamikaze is carried out by Poe. ( = Poe dies.)

>Leia never scolds, questions nor demotes Poe.

>Lea dies. Kylo kills her.

>Kylo is more badass and much less conflicted and volatile.

>Kylo takes on more of Snoke's guards, Rey struggles with a single one.

>No bomber heroism by china girl in the beginning.

>No Canto Bight.

>No superpowered Rey.

>Luke is not a semi-force-ghost and is smashed by the first laser cannon shot. (sorry, I just had to!)

>Phasma is finished after the first blow by Finn. (Women are naturally weaker than men, she isn't force-sensitive, and we know nothing about any exo-skeleton in her suit)

>Asian chick speaks less, doesn't bully Finn, Finn doesn't try to escape, she is never formally introduced. She is just there and occasionally smiles at Finn or screams "Finn!". She has no sister. Serves her right for all the heinous stuff she did.

>Lots of little cuts reducing the number of female facial shots. Too many to count. (Pun intended.)

>Quite a few scenes rearranged so that the flow of the shortened movie is still somewhat coherent.

The edit itself:

bay of pirates .org/torrent/19660049/

 No.7866

File: eb6e2ba52e32713⋯.jpg (107.78 KB, 1024x682, 512:341, e2f593be971e427228974a35f1….jpg)

>>7865

>all of that salt

I feel like I'm on the salty dunes of Ingo. I wonder what The Mary Sue's reaction is?


 No.7867

I doubt this could be enough to save the movie from being absolute trash but if I ever decide I want to torture myself by actually watching these movies I'll have to check it out.


 No.7868

>>7867

It doesn't make it much better, but the real fun is in the reactions and the lack of fat women and tumblr hairs.


 No.7874

The new films are fucked beyond repair, but the few things that the progressives/feminazis haven't touched(yet) are the novels and the comics, hell (call me crazy) even the games are fine despite being absolute shit. Novels like Thrawn (canon) and the canon Darth Vader comic are examples of SW media that are still made with care.


 No.7875

>>7874

>the comics

I guess you haven't read Dr. Aphra or anything else from Marvel outside of DV.

>the novels

I'm guessing you haven't read Wendig's awful shit yet either, unless you're talking about the old school pre-disney stuff, then egg on my face then.


 No.7876

>>7875

I refereed to Thrawn (canon) and the Darth Vader comic, while I haven't read Wendig's books and any (((Marvel))) SW comics. The pre-disney shit was awesome like Tarkin ,A New Dawn and The Clone Wars. In regard to the egg I need that for breakfast.


 No.7877

>>7867

I don't think de-shitting the movie was the purpose of doing this. I'd bet it was done solely to trigger soyboys and landwhales.


 No.7891

>Over on Twitter, Dragon Age writer David Gaider complained that the edit made him physically sick.

>David Gaider

>Gaider

Just change one letter…


 No.7900

>heya rabbi, watcha doin


 No.7902

>7865

> (Women are naturally weaker than men,

This is how you know it was a false flag.


 No.7908

File: 281fc3b227ef568⋯.png (728.02 KB, 772x525, 772:525, you can't learn hebrew.png)

>>7865

Somebody really did it? I thought it was another chan-bait for the professional bloggers.

That said, you can't fix Disney's Star Wars because there's no story.

>>7875

>Wendig's awful shit

Cuck "the wibbly wobbly tie fighter" Wendig


 No.7925

>>7865

Here's how you should actually edit it.

>Throw it in the garbage

>Stick to the OT


 No.7938

But I liked the girl power stuff (except for Holdo and the lack of training for Rey.)


 No.7942

File: 13038dd6cc41c7a⋯.jpg (749.34 KB, 1920x1280, 3:2, Star_Wars_Art_Concept_Illu….jpg)

so its just 20 minutes a ship running away very slowly untill they want to duke it out on some forgotten planet?


 No.8049

>>7891

Nice weasel wording they used there, since he's actually former Dragon Age writer David Gaider.


 No.8063

File: d66f3c30ef1215e⋯.jpg (67.96 KB, 427x640, 427:640, mountain man.jpg)

>>7908

Who made that?

>>7865

Is it uploaded anywhere else? Rather not waste time pirating and just stream it somewhere.


 No.8072

>Luke is not a semi-force-ghost and is smashed by the first laser cannon shot. (sorry, I just had to!)

I laughed alot at that part, but it actually kinda ruins your edit man, maybe have kylo just stop all the ships and go out and fight him,

something I found unnecesairy is making snoke a force ghost, it actually makes kylo seem kind of weak compared to how you want to make him seem more evil and strong

but in all honesty, you actually made it so I could sit through this movie, and for that I appreciate this

I want to add that the whole Poe dameron scenes was awesome, good job


 No.8552

All I want to know is from where to download the torrent ?


 No.8562

>>8063

>Who made that?

We have a lot of OC on the board.


 No.8563

>>8049

Considering how the dragon age series went down in the latter half, I think that would just lend the guy more credence. Also the cut does sound pretty stupid, not gonna lie. Getting rid of all the interesting character development that goes on with Kylo, Luke, and even Rey to an extent that makes them into actual people and not the fucking messiah for the sake of nostalgia and autism is not gonna make the movie better. It'd actually make it into even more of a dumpster fire since those plot arcs were the best part of the movie.


 No.8565

>>8563

>Also the cut does sound pretty stupid, not gonna lie.

Well it is, because it’s a strawman. But if it makes you ‘sick to your stomach’, you are both a faggot and a retard.


 No.8574

>>8063

The pic? I did


 No.8584

>>8565

>if it makes you ‘sick to your stomach’, you are both a faggot and a retard.

This is true. It doesn't deserve a "sick to my stomach fucking triggered" response. It deserves a response of "well that's dumb" and walk away.


 No.8585

>>7865

I don’t like Phasma change at least have a duel happen




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