Wesley

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▶Wesley Anonymous 04/03/18 (Tue) 23:57:48 96c740 (2) No.21588>>21589 >>21595 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]

Okay, how is the most obvious fan theory not get discussed more often?

>Be Picard in 2348

>Jack Crusher is your XO on the Stargazer

>"Jean-Luc, this is my fiancee, Beverly"

>spaceboner.jpg

>Jack goes off to Starbase Whatever for a conference

>Offer Beverly some tea, Earl Grey, <i>extra</i> hot

>That potent Picard sperm does its duty for the Federation

>Jack suspects nothing because he's a dumbass cuck

>Jack dies

>Feel guilty as fuck for betraying your best friend, so you steer clear of Bev

>Guilt is also a great excuse not to have to raise the kid

>Know you're a total hypocrite for always talking about duty and honor and then slamming your friend's wife, and your anger at yourself manifests as you being a dick to her and the kid when they show up on your ship later

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 00:30:17 f711b7 (1) No.21589>>21596

>>21588 (OP)

It doesn’t really work. Dr. Crusher and Picard had an unfulfilled love thing going on and Picard’s episode where he runs into a surprise son (which doesn’t take) he awkwardly tries to do the right thing by him.

There’s even an episode where the two of them share thoughts and all the sexual thoughts come up. A fan theory would need to ignore all of that.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 01:26:42 022fbf (1) No.21592>>21606

>Wesley fan theories

Doesn't this require the character actually having fans?

▶ 04/04/18 (Wed) 02:56:54 468d67 (1) No.21595>>21597 >>21614

>>21588 (OP)

><i>extra</i>

>Implying Picard didn't deliberately get Jack killed to get at Bev

Shit thread.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 03:25:49 5934a6 (3) No.21596

>>21589

Dr. Crusher doesn't need Picard

She had sex with a posh ghost.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 03:26:19 5934a6 (3) No.21597

>>21595

>4th dimensional cuckholdry

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 08:46:12 a67e69 (2) No.21606>>21608

>>21592

People simply hate Wesley enough to want him to be a bastard child.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 09:38:02 8be777 (3) No.21608>>21612 >>21637 >>21643 >>21759 >>22139

>>21606

But why the hate? In most episodes in which he is in, he is the one getting them out of trouble. He is the one noticing a tiny detail or coming up with a smart solution. One could argue that he is 10 times more useful than counseler Troi.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 10:57:23 6fe7c5 (1) No.21612>>21633

>>21608

>One could argue that he is 10 times more useful than counseler Troi.

Does he have a nice pair of tits tho? I think not. Troi still remains more useful.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 12:28:54 96c740 (2) No.21614

>>21595

Yeah, I haven't posted on one of these things in like five years and forgot how the coding works. I guess I'll never be one of the cool kids. :'(

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 14:22:25 8be777 (3) No.21633>>21640

>>21612

She's eye candy at best. Still not useful. Actually the opposite is true. For example that time when they came to that planet that was obliterated except for the two old people. She hears that music in her head and instead telling the guys "Hey I have suddenly some strange music in my head. Could be something fishy." she says that she "isn't feeling well and wants to lie down". Great telepath. Fockin' mint. Iirc this happened on more than one occasion.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 18:44:36 a67e69 (2) No.21637>>21639

File (hide): 109197c67991372⋯.jpg (29.29 KB, 400x390, 40:39, wil wheaton, cuck in space.jpg) (h) (u)

>>21608

Originally, because he was a super competent young fucker that made people feel inferior. Eventually because of what Wil Wheaton became.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 18:47:02 29fa25 (2) No.21639

>>21637

On top of that, the rumor mill claims that Crusher was written as an idealized version of young Gene Roddenberry.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 19:14:45 cfe3d3 (2) No.21640>>21641

>>21633

>Be on 5 year continuing mission

>holodeck always "under maintenance"

>pretty sure it's just Barclay jacking off

>captain never wants to fence with you

>long shifts in astrometrics charting stars staring at sensor logs

>no away missions

>contemplate suicide

>computer hears me talking to myself in the sonic shower

>computer recommends me for a counseling session

>get to stare at super awesome boobage for 2 hours every other day

>worth it.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 19:15:32 cfe3d3 (2) No.21641

>>21640

SYNTAX ERROR

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 20:06:45 cec35d (2) No.21643>>21652

>>21608

>But why the hate?

Shut up Wesley.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 21:42:33 2f43cf (1) No.21652>>21654 >>21656 >>21669

>>21643

Daily reminder that I saved the Picards life when we crashed on the desert moon.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 21:59:43 29fa25 (2) No.21654>>21660

File (hide): 051decebde7edc0⋯.jpg (32.96 KB, 456x652, 114:163, His_name_is_Chief.jpg) (h) (u)

>>21652

What, that? You still think that was real? It was a holodeck program the captain made to keep you occupied, because you couldn't shut up about getting into the Academy. By the way, next time you see your mother you should ask her about that, and what she was really doing as head of Starfleet Medical.

▶Anonymous 04/04/18 (Wed) 22:56:59 cec35d (2) No.21656>>21919

>>21652

Shut up Wesley.

▶Anonymous 04/05/18 (Thu) 01:23:14 7eb04f (1) No.21660

>>21654

More like she's getting the [i]head[/i] of Starfleet Medical, am I right?

▶Anonymous 04/05/18 (Thu) 12:36:18 e83b65 (2) No.21669>>21672 >>21695

>>21652

>Daily reminder that I saved the Picards life when we crashed on the desert moon.

And the Picard will always be grateful to the

hallucinatory image of Boothby urging Picard to stay alive

▶Anonymous 04/05/18 (Thu) 13:07:21 a0b193 (1) No.21672>>21738

>>21669

Boothby is love, Boothby is life.

▶Anonymous 04/05/18 (Thu) 23:09:10 621b9b (1) No.21695>>21738

>>21669

Boothby was the blood god. Or Q.

▶Anonymous 04/05/18 (Thu) 23:52:42 93d592 (1) No.21696>>21732 >>21738

Boothby was an old idiot. Picard’s brother Robert was his real source of support. He was just so competitive with his brother that he subconsciously transferred his respect for his brother to a dim copy. There’s a reason when he was really fucked up by the borg he went to the vineyard and not starfleet academy.

▶Anonymous 04/07/18 (Sat) 04:49:44 420752 (1) No.21732

>>21696

Nice observation dood

▶Anonymous 04/07/18 (Sat) 12:43:22 e83b65 (2) No.21738>>21739 >>21760

File (hide): eff205ea9c8f156⋯.jpg (30.96 KB, 357x497, 51:71, the card does not lie.jpg) (h) (u)

>>21695

>>21672

>>21696

"Has it occured to you that all those things could all be true? That's what you get when you always have your heads in the clouds and stars without your feet solidly planted on the ground. Speaking of grounds, have I told you that I once saw cadet Crusher fellating Lacarno behind the shed. How did I know this? I saw it myself, up close and personal as I plowed Crusher's formerly virgin boipuss. While he was mewling for mercy and fellating Lacarno. I told Crusher he was a sissy mamma's boy who could not get into the academy without Picard's special recomendation and secret price. The price? Blood on my spade or shit on my dick."

▶Anonymous 04/07/18 (Sat) 13:57:21 2296a4 (1) No.21739>>21761

File (hide): 9e6d4665463dce4⋯.jpg (14.43 KB, 320x320, 1:1, b89f31a85da7290ddecdad44f2….jpg) (h) (u)