/ratanon/ - Rationalists Anonymous

I hope everyone ignoring your thread isn't making you feel too sad.

i am having trouble washing the blood out of my shirt

:(

Can I get real, here, ratanon? Let me turn this chair around, and my baseball cap, too.

OP, the ones who do know you exist - those are the people you want. Nothing like a time of invisibility to let you know who values you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be someone who is noticed. Maximize that halo effect, bra.

My SO indicated that my awkwardness got to her, and it just hit me that when she said we "lacked sexual chemistry" for the past few years, she meant she lacked a strong sexual attraction. I think she just likes me as a room mate/cleaner/provider and friend.

women hate me, that's what's getting me down

>>7023

Stop being you, then.

>>7024

i'm too stubborn for that

>>7025

You should weigh the options and what matters more to you: be loved by women, or change your self. (space between "your" and "self" intentional)

I also wish to add that you don't have to change too much, and the changes are mostly just increase in self-confidence, so it may even impact you positively in other aspects of life.

>>7026

This highlights an interesting conundrum.

When I was a young anon, I wanted to be with people who liked me 'for me'. What would this look like? Someone fell in love with me on the internet, before they ever saw my face. When they knew I was a dirt poor fuckup.

And then later, you get a paper from an educational institution that says you know how to adult. You get a job. You're middle class. You start to dress well. Take an acting class, attend toastmasters, use niche but amazing scents, and develop a variety of productive hobbies.

Now someone likes you.

Do they REALLY appreciate you, or do they just like the image that you've cultivated?

>>7026

stubbornfag here. i appreciate the input but i feel like most of the low hanging fruit has already been picked–i'm much more self-confident than i was in high school for example, and part of that was due to specifically trying to improve my attractiveness. my conclusion is that i just have a very unattractive, tainted personality

>>7029

i always get the vibe that women find me more and more repulsive as time goes on. women who are talkative and smile and say hello in a friendly tone when they see a friend, never act like that towards me. i've destroyed several relationships with women with the actions i have taken due to being attracted to them.

and yet despite all this, i honestly don't think of myself as that unattractive. i'm tall and my face isn't that ugly. i go to the gym and i draw a little. plenty of more boring, more creepy, more abusive guys than me have girlfriends. if all that stuff i described above happens anyway, i must be worse than almost all males…for some reason. that's how my thought process goes w/r/t the "tainted" thing

>>7030

It's more like someone with a ham radio sending a signal out into the ether, hoping for a reply. Sometimes he gets hopeful static, but the signal isn't clear enough to communicate, and it turns out it's two other people conversing with each other just out of your range.

Changing yourself is like increasing your range. Speaking of, there are locations where people of your type will fare better, and locations where they will not. If it's a high priority factor, move somewhere that increases your chances.

homework, i need to write little essays about stupid volunteer work stuff

>>7032

There's a story waiting in stupid volunteer stuff, depending on the prompts.

All my >98% OKCupid matches are feminist studies grad students.

>>7034

Oh look I found a film student.

>>7034

Sounds like you're putting too much strength on regular liberal markers and not enough emphasis on the 'rational', 'math', and 'science' markers. Slide those all the way to the right, keep your lib stuff in the middle or to the left. Rate art stuff a little lower, unless it's really important to you.

I don't feel anybody else has my problem:

Can I get real, here, ratanon? Let me turn this chair around, and my baseball cap, too.

OP, the ones who do know you exist - those are the people you want. Nothing like a time of invisibility to let you know who values you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be someone who is noticed. Maximize that halo effect, bra.

My SO indicated that my awkwardness got to her, and it just hit me that when she said we "lacked sexual chemistry" for the past few years, she meant she lacked a strong sexual attraction. I think she just likes me as a room mate/cleaner/provider and friend.