/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

>>347414 (OP)

…I could swear he wrote that up as a joke. Is it really so accurate?

Archive of previous thread: http://archive.is/o4yI1

>>347408

No, just some discarded workstation that nobody can find to replace.

>>347417

More accurate than anything I could come up with.

>>347417

Pretty much.

Maintenance Bulletin:

Friendly reminder that the previously noted scheduled water-shutoff time is in approximately ten (10) minutes, and that all relevant facilities will be temporarily unavailable for the fifteen (15) minutes of the procedure. Thank you for your patience in this matter.

>>347418

>>347419

>accuracy

Hmm. Living in interesting times, indeed.

Also, Kurt? Wielder's first session with the Lotus temple has been, in his words,"absolutely amazing. Many questions answered, so many more rising in their place. Tomorrow is going to be a blast." Thank you again for getting him the information on the temple.

>>347421

Glad to hear it's going well. If he wants to join me for meditation or exercises, I'm open to it.

Maintenance Bulletin (Followup):

Apologies for the delay in finalizing the water system upgrade, there was an individual refusing to exit one of the washrooms. Something about a trap being just perfect, and not wanting to risk it being ruined. The individual in question has been relegated to Security for questioning. In any case, the water upgrade has completed and all facilities should be fully up and running.

>>347424

Oh, I assure you, one way or another he will take you up on that offer. With any luck, the meditation and other lessons gained from the Temple will help him with certain issues.

>>347417

Pretty damn accurate, yep.

>>347427

>trap

Which bathroom was this, and do I need to avoid it?

Also, I figured out what was behind that cancelled order. It was a weird combination of some puritanical Paladin sect protesting mamono relations as such groups do, and a group of concerned parents worried about their daughters' masturbatory habits, both concurrently lobbying the supermarket chain to discontinue sales. I don't know either.

>>347430

Something's fishy about that. The supermarkets don't usually sell the deluxe models, they should have been the kid-friendly version. The deluxe models are sold through specialty shops, online, et cetera.

>>347433

It was in Florida. I've long ago stopped worrying about what happens in Florida.

>>347430

>order cancellation reason

I wonder what would happen if the puritanical paladins were told that there were mamono parents who were worried about the effect that the deluxe models have on young mamono.

>trap

Assuming the usual motivations, you should be safe, considering you and Janet are an item.

>>347433

Perhaps they placed the wrong order by accident?

>>347430

The bathroom's the one down the hall from us, the trap's been cleared as part of normal procedures.

>>347436

>usual motivations

Other way around this time, and no, I can't say anything more than that.

>>347436

There are also mamono parents who get the deluxe model to keep the neighbor's boys safe.

>>347440

Actually, they haven't had permanently molded erections in long time. They ship in a flaccid state. The more you know…

I'm a bit rusty, but I'll give it a try.

…Either she's expecting company, or she's expecting.

>>347440

>video game draconic

Either she's lowballing you or your rune conversion software's on the fritz, mate. Haven't played Skyrim recently enough to remember how to translate, though. Something about flying, something about 'wanting for nothing'.

Protests were down by Miami. Not sure who the group was, I only did the most cursory of googling.

>>347436

>safe

Honestly, I'd be more worried for the perpetrator. I got to listen in when Janet went off on an anubis that did something really dumb of some kind. I haven't heard such a storm of anatomically impossible suggestions and comments on the virtue of someone's mother since my retail days. Brought a tear to my jaded eye, she did.

>>347443

…or that. That's possible too.

>>347440

Ignore the response >>347443 here. It could be true, but I can't say. All I will say, is congratulations, and prepare for a wonderful life.

>>347439

I was just thinking that it'd be hilarious to see paladins supporting the sale of sex toys because they thought that said toys might have a negative effect on mamono.

>>347444

>worried about perpetrator, reason

Considering she's an artfairy and a technical professional, that's actually pretty sensible.

>>347447

I can just see the headline: "Paladins Purportedly Providing Pornographic Paraphernalia, Profess Protection."

>>347449

I just want a chance to watch them splinter along the lines of who/what they hate more: mamono or the "degeneracy" of society. I dare say they'd potentially solve themselves (in terms of trouble they cause) to some degree over the matter.

>>347455

>splinter, solve selves

That's about what tends to happen, yeah. I remember a bunch of Orderites that carried me around way back when ended up in exactly the same way. Bickering, followed by scraping, followed by cracks and dings in their edges until the whole group just fell apart. The bizarre thing was, they were all arguing for pretty much the same thing, only really differing on the degree of hatred and timing of attacks.

>>347440

"I Go to find a great house, Our growing/rising family/clan…" Oh… Oh my.

>>347446

Why would you tell him to ignore the most relevant translation?

In other news, this issue with Maria has spawned a bunfight in the former European union I'm afraid we'll have to let die down before we're going to get any further traction in that direction. Rest assured I am keeping my eye on it.

>>347481

>ignore

Because that's the sort of thing a woman's supposed to tell her man personally, point-to-point. He shouldn't hear it first from a slab of metal outside his grouping!

Besides, the sum total of my Draconic comes from what I overheard while stuck under a dragon's pommel. If my initial rendering is the truth of it, great! But I'd rather not make a false translation.

>bunfight

For the love of Strife, really? Seriously, what's happened to my home that it's all political poltroons now? Feckless pacifists, the lot of them. Maybe I was right to set aside "Durendal" and take on "Rossa."

I know the answer's probably "no," but if a bit of stabbery would do any good in changing their minds, I'm sure I could get the old arsenal in on it. A glorious orgy of violence followed by one of those silly boring orgies you meaties get into, confound this new magic. Claíomh alone has been absolutely rusting for a good show, and I know Hrotti's been bored dull. Not sure about Ridill or old Skof' but I could probably talk Clarent into it.

Been a few days since I've left any messages. Been rather occupied with the home life, adjusting to living with a Shoggoth, being in the city, and studying up on the Mamono population so I'm not a complete dunce.

To be honest, my real question is this.

Do we have a quarantine room?

I'm currently wearing Prudence as a sort of containment suit. Remember that biohazard scare days ago? Someone sent a batch of those Sabbath cookies to our home, and when I opened it, there was some sort of dust in it.

Long story short, I have tiny mushrooms growing on my right arm.

Prudence said someone here could help?

>>347490

It's old griefs they're looking for any excuse to bring back up. I'm sure an embodiment of battle like yourself can understand.

>>347494

Dear boy, ignore how hard I'm hitting this button right now. Don't be in any way distressed by the employees rushing to collect you. Please make sure Prudence stays calm while the doors close. ignore the incinerator vents present in the floor, I promise, they're only a measure of last resort.

LOCKDOWN

>>347494

She's not wrong. Unfortunately he's half a world away and embedded in religious studies for the moment, so your options are to either hold tight in your neat little cell while the CDC get to you all official-style, or owe us a favor and we'll yank Scabbard over to redact that junk out of your systems ASAP. The CDC will still have to go by your place to make absolutely sure, as per usual legalese.

Sun's Wrath, I am simultaneously glad and irritated that the wordfilters finally started working. "Tiny Mushrooms" hit Dummy's alerts like a ruddy hangover.

>>347494

Matango stupidry is not something I'm willing to just let slide. Sit tight, Harlen, this might take a while to burn out completely.

>>347497

Sir, if you could get the CDC on the line I'll focus on the potential infection.

>>347498

No favors, dear. You know I don't like holding those.

>>347497

Well, shes always calm. I'm freaking out in this little room. Incinerators?! You had to tell me that's what those are?

>>347498

Well we're not going anywhere, and my phone has enough juice to continue messaging for a bit. The company wouldn't really fry us would it? Also, what kind of favor are we talking about here? I don't have any notable skills to offer.

>>347500

Relax, deep breaths, the only things getting fried are any spores. I'm just going to walk your immune system through reversing the spread of the infestation; it's not embedded enough yet to be that much of a problem, but I do need you calm for the procedure. Chances are you'll feel like taking a nap because of the soporifics, but don't expect any sort of restfulness - this procedure is not comfortable to go through, and any sleep you'll get will be interrupted constantly.

>>347501

Prudence here, using Harl's phone. He is… unavailable right now. He'll be nice and calm in time for the procedure.

>>347502

Good, because it starts now. Start preparing ideas for a big meal once this is over, the main side effect is he's going to be starving.

>>347497

If those incinerators "accidentally" go off at any point I will portal the entirety of their effects directly into your liquor stashes. Yes, both of them.

>>347503

Spicy stir-fry and eggs. Winning combination.

He's asleep now. Such a lightweight.

Just let me know when it's over and I'll haul him home.

>>347503

Shura! That's a horrible thing to threaten a man with… Not to mention the fact that the trigger is controlled by three seperate AI systems which require consensus to activate them.

>>347505

Shoggoths. Marvellous creatures if I do say so myself. Shame about the creeping insanity.

>>347507

Don't scare him off. I've grown attached. Besides, what's the harm in a little madness?

LOCKDOWN LIFTED

<Switching to Test Dummy for posting as my main body is occupied focusing on healing patterns.

<Building's clear of spores, seems Matango and Shoggoth don't mix. Thanks go to Prudence for her quick thinking.

>>347505

<That's a good choice, he'll need the protein. Initial analysis indicates roughly three hours for a complete purge, can't take chances with doing anything even remotely swiftly. If I don't give any other alerts, assume he'll be done a bit after lunch time.

>>347507

>trigger

<Noted, consider the target realigned on their porn-specific drives. Sorry about that, Sir, bit of a heat-of-the-moment thing.

<Anyway, seeing as how I'm here now I might as well check what I missed. Sorry about the post length.

>>347354

>differences adjustment

<Tell me about it. The wives took way too much fun in getting me to realize the rest, though.

>really weird, trust

<Believe me, I am most definitely glad I had my dears to guide me. There's no way to prepare for seeing both sides of the coin at once.

<And while it was truly bizarre, by the Far Storms it was also just amazing. Zuzi's gifts were greatly appreciated.

>>347398

>most work hours

<Well, that's Jade winning it right there, if my impressions of Logistics/Receiving/Etc. being a madhouse are in any way accurate.

>>347372

>>347401

>>347404

<Zuzi, we've been over this. You and yours are the brains of the operation, the ones actually making things relevant. All I did was put in the hours for the grunt work. By that logic Drone 87J would be the most valuable employee in the company as a whole.

<Besides, this is simply part of the job; if I have a tool, I need to learn to use it, and if I gain information during the learning, I need to make it available to those able to make it useful. Anything less is neglect of duty.

>>347450

>new guy

<So, how do you feel about -

>pop a bitch

<Congratulations! You're getting a transfer straight to our branch in Detroit!

>>347414 (OP)

<You actually used that joke explanation. You consider it accurate enough to be a legitimate briefing?

>>347424

<I'll be ready for a meditation session later on. Even if I got yanked away early, the monks were ruddy good at teaching, and I at least learned that bit.

>>347440

<Congratulations!

>>347511

>Purge

Thanks again for the help. I'll be taking the day off with Harlen when this is over. Already called the girls in HR to let them know I'd be leaving today.

Gotta go, he seems to be having a bad dream, poor thing.

>>347515

I'll be prepping a biohazard scanner for your mailbox, in case somebody tries this again.

>>347511

>mvp discussion, part of the job

The value of your actions which everyone keeps praising isn't in whether you go above and beyond the requirements, but in the earthshaking positive impact you have by those actions.

>explanation

Accurate, concise, and covers all bases. Joke or not, that makes it a good choice for a summary briefing.

>meditation, pulled away early

I highly recommend pursuing your education in the matter further. The local abbey will be more than happy to pick up where you had to leave off.

>>347481

>bunfight

So that's why I've not heard from my contacts back in Germany….

When I find out who gave my extension to that store I'll wallpaper their house with dildos. Had to spend three hours on the phone telling every freakin' employee in that store that no, I don't have direct control over the trucks, I cannot make them go faster. Ammit preserve me, this is why I left customer service. Well, partly.

>matangos

So, Harlen, do you still have the package? I'm sure the CDC tossed it in the incinerator at some point, but if not pass me the tracking number so my buddy in the postal service can backtrace it. I'm pretty sure sending matango spores in the mail is very, very illegal.

>work hours

I have a cot set up in the backrooms that I tend to use rather than going home. Not quite as much now, since Receiving isn't the most, uh, romantic of places, but still. That alone should tell you how much overtime I bring in.

>popping a bitch

"Popping a bitch" is still murder. Get yourself a taser and some pepper spray, or at the very least some 12-gauge beanbag rounds.

>bunfight in EU

…I wasn't aware anyone had heard of the situation except through back-channels or scrying. The public shitstorm's already underway?

>>347536

Already underway? No, this is just the foreshocks. When the actual quake starts, you'll know it.

Made it home safely. Prudence wants me to rest, and tried to keep the phone away from me by hiding it in her body. She didn't put up much of a fight while I dug around for it though. She is cooking right now, some kind of stir-fry. Smells amazing, and I'm starving.

But, I'm alive, and hesitant to open mail from now on.

>>347520

>Biohazard Scanner

Much appreciated.

>>347536

>Tainted package

Yup, CDC cooked it.

Hoping it was some twisted prank. I only have a small circle of associates and friends. Don't really have any enemies. Probably just some college shit having a laugh.

>>347536

>>347544

I guarantee you the CDC photographed and documented all tracking information on it before they 23-19'd it. They will find whoever sent it.

>>347544

>>347545

>twisted prank

Nah, that goes well beyond a prank.

>>347545

>cdc

Government is never fast, and they wouldn't condone my retaliation anyways. Ah well, the wheels of JUSTICE turn slowly, but grind exceedingly fine.

>>347541

>foreshocks

Oh, don't I know it. I've still got a certain set of people on speed dial for when the shit really does hit the fan. I'm still just surprised that the information got out at all. Those NDAs were extremely binding, to the point where I seriously suspect that they're magically enforced. Unless the Sabbath started talking, which I doubt, there's no real way for Maria's situation to have made it to the former EU.

>>347547

>information getting out

It could be that the favors I called in with my contacts there and the actions that have so far resulted from those favors being called in led someone to put together enough of the pieces to start this mess…

I'm going to make some calls, try and get in touch with those contacts again. It's not like them to be this slow about responding.

>>347547

>>347548

The info started to trickle out and got the attention of various organizations before the NDAs came down. That and all the inquiries that have been made, I don't doubt that yes, somebody put two and two together somewhere.

>>347544

Glad to hear you're recovering well. Got good news and bad. Bad news is you're going to need to eat like you're starving and will likely miss three days of work sleeping it off. Good news is, you're now immune to Matango spores.

>>347520

>impact

I still don't see how what I've done could have nearly such an effect. Maybe I'm just looking at it wrong.

>further education

Way ahead of you. I picked up a bunch of contact information for more local Temple locations, and I'm planning on attending lessons on a regular basis. Just gotta work out a schedule.

>>347550

>Immunity

Nice. You aren't kidding about the exhaustion. Prudence used some PTO to stick around and play nurse. I swear it's like I can't do anything on my own. Not that I'm truly complaining. Beats being home alone for three days.

Just want to take a moment to than everyone for their help and concern.

I'm just gonna lurk about as usual and keep an eye on things for a few days.

In other news, I managed to use Elementarism to levitate a small chunk of bismuth via diamagnetism. I know it's an inefficient method, but hey, it worked.

>>347560

>levitation by magnetic power

Congratulations! And even if it's inefficient comparatively speaking, that you're thinking outside the box is important. The schools are, and have always been, purely that - schools of thought, tools to make use of magic easier. Different mindsets allow different schools with greater ease, but ultimately they are all the same magic at their core and with a bit of work can get the same effects. Overreliance on one school is simply a self limitation - best results require mixing the schools.

>>347548

Verdammt thing didn't apply my email.

Herr Worthington, I don't suppose I could trouble you to see if any of your colleagues-at-law can reach a Vampire by the name of Mina Strauss? She's an attorney in Berlin, and the only one of my contacts in the area that I can't reach, even by phone. The others are just swamped and slow to answer email given all that's going on.

>>347550

>scheduling

Several temples and abbeys have time-dilated training sessions available. Not something they advertise much, but it exists.

>>347560

Congratulations indeed.

I also just Realitwisted a pencil's color from yellow to green.

>>347578

How’d you approach that? Did you bend the light, change the pigment or something else?

Maintenance Bulletin:

As the instances of Matango-related events has increased to two (2) in as many weeks, the CDC has authorized inoculations against the fungal parasite using stasis-locked samples administered in a seventeen-layer-deep subplane. These inoculations are strictly voluntary, and appointments can be obtained by filing a form at the Maintenance office.

For those interested, the following points must be addressed. The inoculation takes approximately two hours to safely administer and ensure complete set-in of immunity. Those undergoing the procedure will be put into a state of sleep for the duration. It is extremely painful, to the extent of discomfort entering even into the sleepstate. It requires exposure of a limb to the Matango fungal parasite. The chance of runaway infection in inoculation patients is approximately zero point one eight (0.18) percent; in such an instance emergency amputation and incineration of the aforementioned limb will prevent further infection. Any amputations will be treated and regrown promptly, with all appropriate therapy provided. Those undergoing the procedure will experience ravenous hunger immediately following, and need to sleep for a period of approximately three (3) days; meals and a time-dilated subplane will be made available for this purpose.

It must be restated that the inoculations are strictly voluntary, but strongly recommended to prevent potential outbreak of the soulless fungal parasite.

>>347575

>dilated sessions

They may not advertise it, but the Nepalese did make a note to inquire as for the option when they did the initial interview. Thanks for the reminder, though, today's been hectic.

>>347578

It's cases like this and the prior that reaffirm my belief about you and Jade being more capable casters than I. I'm powerful, yeah, but I've also had twenty years of practice and a procedure applied to drastically improve my abilities from a near-borderline Alp to what I am now. You two have managed in merely a month what took me a decade to get straight. Who knows what you'll be able to do in a few years' time?

And I, as well, am curious as to what method you used.

>>347579

Bending the light? That'd be crazy, I'd have to be bending it all the time. Of course I changed the pigment.

>>347581

I don't know about Jade, but I'm not human anymore, so that probably makes a difference in my case.

>>347582

>bending all the time

That's only if you apply normal logic to it. I mentioned mindsets, remember? Get into the mindset of reality not quite being what you think it is, and that it doesn't have to stay that way, and Realitwisting becomes a bit easier. For instance, instead of saying "the light bends this particular way to make the pencil X color," try saying "the pencil is X color now because the light bent a certain way."

And then there's saying "the pencil is X color because it thinks the light bent a certain way," which falls under Psionomania and is an entirely different can of worms.

>>347583

>humanity factor

It does, I'll admit that, but not in the way you might think. You're practicing Human styles of casting, not the more instinctive Mamono varieties. Try getting a Succubus to try the same, or an Houri, or even a Baphomet if you're willing to put up with their shenanigans, and they'll all switch back to their own methods as soon as possible. I grant that as an Alp you're more capable at the core of it, but this is still a Human method and for you to be just tearing into the casting like you are says much.

>>347584

I don't think Automatons have any style of casting, let alone an instinctive one. If I was a type that already had an established style it'd likely be interfering like that, but I'm treading unexplored territory here.

>>347585

>unexplored territory

Granted, and isn't it great? So much potential!

I'll freely admit that my own experience is diluted by only having a link rather than inherently being one with Dummy, but when I'm running myself through the sleeve I've noticed a significantly different inherent mindset crops up, one with a greater focus on logic. Whether that has any relevance to instinctive casting styles is yet to be determined, but I have noticed that it does make the Elementarist and, to a lesser extent, Psionomania schools more viable. It could be that Automata are naturally inclined towards learning and practicing whatever they focus on. It could just as easily be that I'm getting unreliable feedback from being a human jumping into a metal shell and attempting to understand the experience from a human perspective.

Either way, I stand by my statement that you're doing exceptionally well at learning this stuff. Congratulations are most definitely in order. If you're ever interested in more tutoring, let me know.

We got a problem. Recently while cleaning the 4th floor bathroom, I heard muffled and frantic pleas for help in the walls and some ID tags in the stall in the women's bathroom for a 'Sadie". Also whenever I tried to fix some of the pipes in that floor, purple slime came out. We have a possible slime in the pipes. Should we order a mandatory barring of the bathrooms, cause if we do, if someone uses it, she could get stuck in god knows where.

>>347590

Jonathan, are you in building A or D?

>>347590

>>347592

I can get some drones equipped with wall-penetrating ultrasonic sensors on location shortly.

>>347594

Thing is, I'm currently scrying our 4th floor bathrooms and there's noone in there. Not to mention the recent refit of building A to specifically prevent this issue. If he's in D (or the others), then yes, please send some drones, they'll help with my own set. If he's "in A," then we've got an issue of infiltration.

>>347590

In the meantime, make sure no one uses the bathrooms or fountains

>>347596

They're en route just in case. The Mk III version of my drone designs includes specialized worker-rank drones, for increased effectiveness. Expect mostly sensor units, with a few support drones and some workers outfitted for SAR or security operations to arrive soon after.

WATER SYSTEMS LOCKDOWN

A potential hazard involving a slime or amorphous individual of some kind has prompted the temporary shutdown of plumbing facility-wide. Apologies for the issue, but employee safety is paramount.

>>347597

Seriously which building are you in? If you're in A, you never showed up for orientation.

>>347598

Kurt, Scabbard's gone after building B to start. Could you send your drones after C? We've let the Kiki Corps in D to search their systems, and ours are manually checking A. Thanks.

>>347599

Will do. ETA 3min. Mk II drones headed to reinforce your drones.

WATER SYSTEMS LOCKDOWN LIFTED

SECURITY REQUESTED TO BUILDING D

PSYCHIATRIC MEDICAL AID REQUESTED TO BUILDING D

>>347602

You can call off the search if you want; Wielder found Sadie. She had been monsterized into a Dark Slime and fell into the plumbing, her core barely getting caught on the pipes. The one responsible has been apprehended and contained. Sadie herself is in distress at both her new state and her recent situation and has latched onto the doll for a point of concrete certainty. While we will not tolerate it for long, we're not going to immediately interfere, but assistance at D is greatly required.

The Kiki Corps have been quite…contrite, on the matter. I believe they may attempt to severely crack down on security matters in D alongside their normal duties.

Management has been informed of the issue, and requests have been made to extend the improvements of A to the remainder of the facility's buildings. Why they only approved A so far I cannot say; they pushed the proposals for this building through faster than Bile's ill-conceived notions, so one would think they might have at least been willing to allow the full suite.

>>347609

Recalling drones. I've got a fabricator drone en route to D with a slime-specialized carrier under construction.

>>347610

<Thanks. The perpetrator's really fighting the containment field I'm casting in my main body, having a more permanent solution would be greatly appreciated.

<As for Sadie herself, I could use any advice you, or Tandy, or Zuzi, or really anyone would care to provide because I just don't know what to do.

<Unrelated, but I need something to restabilize my thoughts - you're really getting into the drones as of late. Almost as much as myself, honestly. I take it the subplane set's been working well for you? And have you been able to integrate, or at least make viable any of the drones I gave you?

>>347612

>help

The carrier's to give Sadie some degree of safe mobility. Second fab drone inbound for a confinement job on the perp.

>drones

Subplanes have been working well. Mk III designs integrate lessons learned from the subplanes, as well as tricks learned from integrating some of the drones you sent. Mk IV is in the works, integrating the soulclay more fully for rapid adaptation in the field.

Pardon if I seem terse, drone network activity has outpaced support processing power requirements for full autonomy, so I'm having to coordinate the drones more directly than normal. Additional processing support drones currently being fabricated to alleviate.

>>347612

Isn't medical equipped with therapists for stuff like this?

>>347614

>safe mobility

<That…might be a bad idea, maybe. She just got out of a tiny tube, and from what she's mumbling I'm fairly certain she's intensely claustrophobic. She all but draped herself over Dummy when I even tried to move toward the thing.

<If it's the best means, please advise as to how to convince her.

>terse

<Honestly, given that you're doing things without intense magical enhancements or a secondary computer brain I'd say you're bloody verbose right now. But that's for later.

>>347615

>therapists

<I thought we did. They have been called and should really have already been here by now.

<I'm stuck holding one woman in a containment field while she spits invectives, and another using Dummy as a ruddy security blanket.

<And no, the Kiki Corps have not been able to help, much as they've tried.

<Any words of assistance would be appreciated. Sun's Fire, I'll even open a channel to Dummy's speakers and mics so it can be given directly, if that makes things easier.

>>347617

It's a large, open-topped tub on a crawler treads with controls designed to be easy for a newly-monsterized slime. She should be fine. The containment for the perp on the other hand, is a much less claustrophobe friendly affair.

Made a call to medical for you. Jane the Mindflayer's on the way over. Someone might want to check the systems over there in B when this is over - they didn't get your request.

Don't be gentle with the perp, either. That shit is genuinely horrifying.

>>347619

>building B

Mk III drones en-route.

>perp

Shura, the containment for the perp should be arriving momentarily. The mobility assist for Sadie not long after.

>>347619

They didn't get the request? That's way too convenient.

>>347619

>Jane assist

<Make a list of your favorite kinds of booze and send me the bill. But seriously, thank you. Sadie's already calming down.

>gentle with the perp

<Oh, believe me, I most certainly was not. She'll be requiring a Mindflayer of her own during her prison stint.

>didn't get the request

MESSENGER PIGEONS.

>>347620

>containment

<Much appreciated. It's small, I trust? A bit cramped, perhaps? Please tell me I don't have to worry too much about additional mass.

<mobility assist

<And with luck, Jane's help will make it possible for her to transfer.

>>347621

<And if this was purposeful I will be angry.

>>347622

>small containment

It was designed to be transportable by a single Mk I chassis. You remember constricted those are when it comes to bulk as opposed to weight for cargo, yes? This is easily within the maximum load volume of those little things.

@Management: If you do not provide Jade of Logistics, Jane of Medical, and Kurt of IT at least a standard pay raise considering their key roles in dealing with this absolute fiasco, provide IT whatever resources are required to make the server systems top-notch for at least the next century, and permit me to apply the Building A modifications to B through D, I will be reconsidering my continued employment. The events that just transpired were absolutely unacceptable. The circumstances allowing this event should never have been allowed to build up.

>>347626

>constricted

I…I know it's wrong, the schadenfreude I just experienced while shoving that utterly worthless sod into the container. But I don't really care. Forcibly altering a person - changing their soul - from one thing into another, and especially doing so then leaving them in such a situation as was put on Sadie…no, I honestly have no sympathy for the perp. That's never happened before. I'm a bit worried, to be honest.

Has the creep even said anything about why they did it?

>>347632

The way the universe works demands balance. That individual is not entirely without worth, which makes what she did that much worse.

The idea is that by making the reaction of the universe an unpleasant experience for that luder, she may simultaneously recieve some measure of the balance that is due her, and possibly come to know the error of her ways.

>>347634

Relatedly, did we ever figure out if the loss of the message to Medical was intentional or just a server issue?

Seems like everything fell apart today…

>>347641

Welcome to Mamonocorp,

>>347640

Still investigating. Seems to have been an abnormally high amount of traffic, and high-level monitoring has been intermittent at best on that part of the network for the past couple days. I've got the drones running a glorified text-matching algorithm to try and figure it out while I track down the source of the monitoring issue.

>>347642

I haven't even been here a week and I've dealt with hormone addled co-workers, hooked up with a shoggoth form HR who insists that every utensil and piece of furniture be fashioned from her biomass, and been poisoned, locked up, and purged.

Hell of a first week.

But I can't say I hate it. I enjoy the liveliness. As long as the boss doesn't notice that my actual work output is abysmal. As soon as I'm fully recovered, I am going to hit that keyboard with a vengeance.

>>347646

She hasn't told you why she does that, has she? It will make much more sense once you learn her reason. Also, don't worry overmuch about being out on medical leave. There's a provision in the company handbook that specifically states you can't be penalized for extraordinary medical emergencies, and what you went through certainly qualifies.

Yes, I read the employee handbook in full. the only terms and conditions I will ever agree to without reading in full are the GPL license versions that I've committed to memory.

>>347634

Oh, yeah. Got a bloody great speech out of her, when she wasn't insulting my lineage. The old "yadda yadda, mamono up, human women down, etc." junk you hear from the Mamono version of fanatic Paladin Templars. If I didn't know better I would swear she was from the old War days Ro's been showing me.

>>347636

Yeah, that reaction was extreme and excessive, and only a little off from Warlocksmithing. The Source is already whining at me to get my head back on straight. I think I'm going to need a strong cup of tea and a meditation session when things quiet down.

>>347642

<Speaking of "head on straight," do you mind if I bring Dummy to R&D for repairs? Dark Slimes are pretty good casters and Dummy got thrown around a bit before I had the containment field up. And that's before Sadie used it as a teddy bear.

<All sorts of things are out of whack, and I'm stuck looking over my left shoulder. Still not entirely sure about how well my healing works on the more intricate upgrades Zuzi put in place, would rather have a deft hand take care of these issues.

>>347647

Gotcha.

Also, taking your advice, I asked Prudence what was up with the fabrication thing. I understand now. But it's a bit unnerving, because now I know the squirming is due to something other than her gelatinous mass…

>>347650

Zooz is busy helping me get something started, but I can do the repairs. Bring your doll right in.

>>347650

There's a box of tea with the seal of the White Lotus on it in my office. Brew yourself a pot and go meditate. I've got a couple more processing support drones online now, so your wives and I can cover while you clear your head.

>>347650

>anti-paladins

…you didn't happen to get a name for her sect/order/whatever, did you? If so, would you mind tossing me whatever recordings the drones might have taken? I have an Idea.

In lighter news, I can confirm that my Spirit issues have been conclusively solved. I send this message from my desk, which is currently hovering thirty feet in the air. Levitation is now officially a skill I possess.

>>347655

I suspect I know what you've in mind, and if it's what I think it is then I like it.

>>347652

I'll be right down.

>zuzi busy

<Frankly, I'm surprised she's been willing and able to provide as much time for me as she's done till now. Sorry I keep pulling on your department so much these days, and thanks for the help.

>>347654

>tea

Gladly accepted. I may be a bit…unavailable for the rest of the night. Going to turn over control to my dears momentarily.

>>347655

>idea

<I'm forwarding you Dummy's audio files from the event. Sorry about the length, I can't figure out the editing system just yet.

>levitation get

Congratulations are in order yet again! I said it before, and I'll say it once more - you and Tandy are on your way to being bloody prodigies. Keep it up and you'll be passing me by soon enough.

>>347657

Paladins and anti-paladins. Matter and antimatter.

<this seems like a good time to test this little subroutine

<this is janet from prog-dep nice to meet you all

<i think i have an account but i dont remember so im injecting text into jades mail

<nobody tell him

On a completely unrelated subject, did you know the Church of Illias has no idea what input sanitization is? I didn't until just recently. Janet does good work.

<you know it

<really though its absolutely pathetic their sysadmin should be ashamed of himself

>>347659

Got it, thanks.

Oh hell, I remember these guys. Made friends with one of them back in my rebellious teen phase, to my eternal shame.

So, the original plan was to wait for shit to hit the fan, and then zero their database and fill it with matango porn or something. Instead, I'm going to have her throw them an address from a spoofed internal mail. Hopefully they'll go crusading against this mamono supremacy group, and be distracted for at least a while.

<i still might give them matango porn when shit hits the fan just for shits and giggles

<itll be done in about five minutes gotta compose a believable email

>>347661

Janet, expect an alert on your workstation with an account reset link.

Also, did you know that you're actually more likely to get a virus from a religious website since they're more likely than not to have an amateur site admin with no formal training? Makes it such that they almost all are easy targets for the sort of thing that a computer-savvy cheshire or generally pissed off techie might do.

>>347665

>amateur admin

Makes sense in the abstract, but that compsci degree I almost got was funded by the Church. They definitely have IT professionals on hand. Maybe they just got lazy. I don't plan to look a gift horse in the mouth, though.

Also, Janet, please stop messing with my email.

<youre no fun

<fine ill fix my account if it makes you all happy

<by the way that email is away pop some popcorn and get ready for the fireworks

>>347661

>paladins vs anti-paladins

This is going to be good. Haven't seen a decent rout in ages, it'll be fun getting a reminder of how those blunt idiots never change.

>>347667

>fireworks

C'est magnifique.

>>347667

>IT and church

was generally referring to the cash grabs and the congregations that are long on faith but short on resources, as those are the most numerous.

>Janet's account

I'd let it lie, but it's a security liability for an employee to not have their account accessible to them.

>>347661

Full disclosure, I did mention this to the Bishop. Gramma Rose says she'll be making enough popcorn for everyone. The official orders from the Sanctum Sanctorum to the Faith Militant of His Holy Light in this regard is to wait until battle is inextricably joined, then stand somewhere visible to both sides in full dress regalia, then point and laugh.

Nobody tell the missus. She's got enough to worry about… Nesting and all…

(Guys this kid is terrifying me. I'm a frontline grunt, I wasn't supposed to have children!)

>>347575

Sorry Kurt, the department kind of got a transmutation-flavoured rocket up it in the form of that poor woman. You wouldn't BELIEVE the legal ramifications forcible, non-consensual transmutation carries, and for it to happen on work time? I've had to put tables across the windows to stop four of our Danuki Insurance specialists from jumping out of them in sheer despair for how much this is going to cost the company. Next Financial year is going to be an utter WHORE.

In any case, I tried to contact your sanguinary acquaintance, at this stage all I could get was 'She's asleep.' Now whether that was because it was midday, because she's in torpor, or because something more nefarious is at play I can't say, but I did leave an adequately ominous message so hopefully someone has the good sense to wake her up.

>>347671

>churches

Fair point.

>account

She'll get it taken care of. Right, honey?

<pull the reverse lysistrata on me will you

<i get it though we cant have an account floating around unused

<still going to post this way though its good practice

<especially since jade thinks hes kicked me off his account

<you merely adopted the code sweetheart i was born in it molded by it

>>347673

>bishop

That's cool. The more attention this gets, the better in my opinion. As long as nobody gives up the ruse until its too late, of course.

>full dress regalia

Send me a picture.

>kids

I seem to recall you saying this to Shura: "Mother may be the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children. But Father is the first and greatest Hero they shall ever know."

You'll live up to it. You'll figure out what you don't already know. Between you and the missus I can't see that kid having anything other than a happy childhood.

>>347675

>insurance penalties

I can imagine. Ammit above, I can feel the bonus money flying away, gone with the wind…

>>347673

Don't know if I've said it yet, but congratulations.

>>347675

Scheiße. I can't shake the feeling something's up. Petra usually answers the phone as reliably as a ficken answering machine. For her and her mother to both be out of contact like this is strange. I haven't had this much trouble getting in touch with Mina since Petra and I were stranded on a spring break trip in college, and never this much trouble contacting Petra. If Herr Strauss has gone dark like his wife and daughter, I'm going to have to call in some other favors to find out was zur hölle ist going on.

>>347673

>frontline grunt, no children

And a suit of armor is? That's life, Ser Ben. Things happen when you least expect it. Especially when you willingly enter combat with a drake in a time when she has been actively seeking a mate. Men have been participating in the act of creating children and fearing the consequences since the dawn of your kind, and your race yet lives. Chin up, there's more Steel in you than you know.

And on behalf of all of us, Congratulations.

>>347675

>insurance prospects

Find a way to convince management to allow our department head to apply the building upgrades as detailed here >>347632 , and you should have means to reinforce against future events. Not perfectly, but better.

>finance issues

We've been given express instruction on this matter:

"If this madshow makes the sewer hit the vent, all finances related to our department are to be made available for use by Sir Worthington as relevant toward restabilizing things. Besides, what am I going to do with all these zeroes? Buy a few island nations?"

I'm certain you'll be able to do at least something with this sum of coin. Perhaps invest in stronger safety provisions?

>>347677

>gone with the wind

…Miss Leafowictz, get down from there at once. No I'm not trying to prevent your beautiful death, that light fixture isn't strong enough to bear…

Oh dear. First aid to the fifteenth floor to deal with a badly sprained ankle. Bring Chocolate. Maintenance, we have a light fixture yanked from the ceiling in Finance. Cause is er… Something that isn't 'overdramatic faux-suicide attempt'.

>>347680

>Giving me control of a bunch of money

Honestly Shura, you're too good for this world. Sadly, it's not a matter of the amount, so much as that claims have to be made, questions asked, and comfortable backsides in patent leather chairs stirred into motion. Corporate Finance is a lot like a beehive. Leave it alone and it'll keep on keeping on. Kick it and watch merry hell break loose.

Benny's performing yeoman duty, by the way. His particular brand of "Sit. Stay." is remarkably effective at keeping the worst of the panic corralled.

>>347680

>Approve upgrades.

Believe me. As soon as Machiko's in a position where I can get within five feet of her without her attacking me, bursting into tears, or trying to rape me, I'll be making sure the money for those upgrades is approved, even if I have to threaten the Directors with a pregnant Dragon coming up to demand it herself.

>>347677

>Picture

No device deserves to be subjected to that much gold-embossed fluting. Trust me on this.

>>347682

>fixture issue

Drones will already have fixed the matter by the time this posts. More so if the messenger birds we call a server choose to act up as usual.

And if the money is irrelevant, we have an alternative for its use.

>>347685

>money

Congratulations, as Sir Worthington has declined its use you now control our department's finances. I believe you have a bill to pay?

System Message: Voice Recognition activated.

…No, sit down. Worse things happen at sea. It's just a bonus, At least you've still got your health… Stop hyperventilating. No, you're not going to have a heart attack, you'll just make yourself sic… Aaand those were my good shoes… Come on, sip this… slowly now… there you go…

…Whew. Last one. Anyone would think the Lightsdamned Fimbulwinter was upon us the way these Danuki are acting!

>>347686

I'm wondering if they'll Beatify the four of you before or after they build the statue. Consider the project raised, you'll find the appropriate cost codes and purchase agreements in your e-mail by close-of-business.

Maintenance Bulletin:

All systems upgrades on Building A have been given green-light approval for application to Buildings B, C and D. Over the course of the following week, all buildings will have their transit, plumbing, electrical, ventilation, and security systems completely overhauled. Additionally, said buildings will receive drone systems working in conjunction with existing Maintenance teams. Advance warning will be provided before any impact to productivity. Full details can be viewed in prior Maintenance Bulletins through the archives.

>>347688

I still don't understand why there was money involved, nearly all resources save specialized materials such as Fiber Optics cables were procured from subplane deposits. I'm fairly certain the cost estimate our husband provided was roughly a few hundred dollars. The Warehouse and Forge subplanes detailed in prior Bulletins should eliminate most of that cost.

Also, the "stabilization" matter still applies. I believe those Danuki will be more in control of their faculties with whatever those "bonuses" were still in grasp, would they not? Put any remaining funds toward restoring them.

>>347682

>kick it and watch merry hell break loose

I apologize in advance for doing just that yet again.

Due to an insecure network device being kept in service while the paperwork for its replacement was processed, someone (likely affiliated with the individual responsible for tonight's incident) has been interfering with network operations in building B. Said person also appears to have secreted large amounts of copied network traffic from the same building to a workstation, and from said workstation to an external storage device. Per relevant security policies, all details on the issue has been forwarded to Legal and HR, and the workstation in question has been mirrored and locked down.

Maintenance Bulletin:

As part of the upcoming facility-wide systems upgrade, a new Drone Network has been brought online. The Gen 1 "Ugly Sticks" have been finally phased out, and the Gen 2 "Birds and Butterflies" will remain in operation primarily in the Daycare. As of this posting, installed in their place are twelve (12) Gen 8A "Field of Lights" and sixteen thousand (16,000) Gen 8B "Lights of the Field" units, distributed between buildings.

The Gen 8A Fields are essentially twelve large drones in the form of triplicate warding fields covering each individual building. They will provide a passive restorative effect to all systems and personnel, monitor Maintenance and Security events, and as appropriate, open access points for Gen 8B units to make a more direct response. During lockdown they can ensure individual rooms are hermetically sealed while still providing clean air and water, and can act as portal-based emergency exits. Most importantly, they can respond nigh-instantly, acting in counter to events such as recently unfolded, and may even become able to outright prevent such things. Shoggoth and Kikimora personnel should note that the Fields will attempt to avoid overlap of territory except in emergency, when security and safety overrides take effect.

The Gen 8B Lights currently appear as motes of light roughly the size of Fairies, the vast majority of which will be in a subplane for storage until called. With logic routines built upon previous drone generations as well as those taught by the IT Department, their reaction times should be an order of magnitude greater than previously offered. Their tools and healing systems are improved and expanded versions of the Gen 2 loadout, and now also include flash-craft systems for purpose-made tools and items. The Lights' manipulators have been rated "capable of restraining a Lunacy affected Wurm" when used in concert, and the wards can block spells and kinetic impacts of immense force, allowing additional duties as ad-hoc security. They also possess simple technological adaptors and can recharge portable devices on request.

For further information on the Fields and Lights, general questions, concerns, requests, suggestions, or simple feedback, please feel free to contact us at Maintenance. Please note that the Lights will not say a certain phrase similar to "Ahoy, pay attention," nor are they actually fairies. Legal has enough of a full plate as things are.

IT, R&D, Legal, Management: The new Lights drones should be compatible with certain remote electronic controls. I'm going to give you direct override access; expect a Bird to deliver personalized your-eyes-only packages with the relevant recryptor, a minor perception-alteration that will turn the following jumble into an actual passcode: Eat at Joe's. Please memorize the contents and destroy immediately following. And no, it's not based on any conventional encryption - without the recryptor any attempts to read the passcode will give a false string.

>>347692

Not hard to guess what they were after, but all the critical data on Maria is secured on the R&D mainframe and classified as only transferrable under GremTech maximum encryption. Attempts to decrypt it without the recipient key have an extreme likelihood of creating infohazard data along with the usual gibberish. Honestly, I expected some attempt to happen for a while now, whoever it is must've been trying to get information from the Kiddo Cult and had about as much success as we have on that front.

>>347659

Shu, I've told you already, every time you use our resources it's repaid tenfold by the data you send back. I'm pretty sure part of your insane paycheck is classed as R&D adjunct or something by now.

>>347652

Congrats, I got that project greenlit for you. I'm reassigning Margie and five golems to you.

Zuzi, I seem to recall you guys making a dreamlink thing some time ago, when I was drowning in Sabbath Scout cookies. Did that ever reach the production stage? If so, would you mind if Janet and I tried it out?

<we want to properly cuddle

<i mean i like being funsize but i dont like being a teddy bear all the time

<neither of us are good enough at magic to want to chance size-change magic so dreamworld it is

Also, on the subject of Sabbath Scout cookies, the Frans have alerted me that a half-pallet of thin mints just came in, addressed to Shura from a 'Jessy'. I know you didn't order them, unless you went around me, so I guess the Sabbath is poking you.

>>347692

>copied network traffic

What does that entail, exactly? Did they just grab names and terminal numbers or did they run off with a whole mainframe?

<somewhere in between probably

<any data that was in transit at any point before the breach was noticed might have been caught

<if nobody asked the mainframes for data theres no way the intruder could have grabbed it

<my worry is that this was a deep cover operation

<were they here when maria was first discovered and everyone freaked out?

>>347737

I can hook you up with a dreamlink unit but you'll need to get the batteries from Shura. You've been studying magic so he could probably show you how to charge them up yourself.

>>347734

>resources, data

If you're sure. I may have a bit of an unreasonable request down the line, then. Depends on how my newest project works out.

>>347737

>dreamlinker batteries

Got batteries ready to hand, come up whenever and I'll show you the ropes.

>thin mints, jessy, sabbath poking

She's not poking. This is as much of a genuine attempt to be kind in a normal fashion as she's able to manage:

>from: <Flat_Is_JUSTICE@Advocacy.Sabbath.com>

>to: <Shura@maint.mamonocorp.int>

>subject: re:youallokay?

>

>Hey.

>

>We've got our differences, yanno?

>But this situation is just a real bad time for everyone.

>This stupid thing across the sea is just soo~oo dumb!

>And I can't even do anything because technically we're enemies of a sort, and these NDAs mean we can't even say much.

>So, I sent you some cookies!

>…Yeah, I know it's kinda dumb. And in hindsight, I know you personally don't like sweets. Or trust our stuff.

>Oh well, I know you know someone who likes them. Or go ahead and scry them or burn them or do whatever.

>

>We've been getting some interesting customers, all trying to find their way into our little beds without being seen.

>And if we've gotten attention chances are your people have.

>So, um. If you, I dunno, need to talk, I'm available. I'll cut the convert chatter while this legal deal's going on.

>

>Jesebel Cadarach

>

I swear, for a goat that keeps trying to turn people into kiddy cultists she acts like a ruddy grandmother at the oddest times. And no, I'm not going to talk with her.

>>347737

>network question

Everything that passed through the compromised network appliance over the past four days. Apologies if I take a little while to respond today, I'm going to go figure out who screwed up the paperwork to replace the device in question and correct them.

On a more positive note, I found out why none of the Strausses were answering my attempts to contact them. Tee, if you've a sleeve at the house, could you get the place ready for three guests? Apparently a surprise trip with no contact en route to visit her (effectively) adoptive son is Mina's idea of a joke these days.

That reminds me. Herr Worthington, how would you like an introduction to the attorneys who handled the Iron Cross case?

>>347743

>batteries

On my way.

>goat

Huh. The Sabbath being nice. There's a thing I never thought I'd see. And, y'know, not trying to convert everyone in earshot.

<so theyve got intruders too huh

<very dedicated intruders actually

<i once tried to hack the sabbath

<their intrusion countermeasures start at coghaz kill agents and go up from there

<whatever data the sabbath has on maria is worth killing and dying for to whoevers doing this

>>347744

>four days

Not as bad as it could have been, but still not very fun.

<oh that reminds me

<the church took the bait hook line and sinker

<expect a crusade somewhere in the midwest in the next few days

>>347745

>batteries

I'm going to give you three batteries with four realtime hours' worth of charge each to start, stick to using one at a time. First-time dreamlinks are inconsistent in ease; even if those so far experienced on the platform have been good, I'd rather not see you have the first "bad trip" as it were. Focus on a happy memory for your first dive, don't "follow the rabbit" as Kurt described a potential hazard.

As for recharging, it's just a matter of focusing Vis into the system like a normal array. It's a hungry thing, and sturdy, so don't worry about overcharging - it'll let you know when it's full. When you get more used to it I'll have the stronger stuff available.

>sabbath nice

The bizarre part about the Sabbath is that their actual Advocacy are surprisingly normal. In the three years I've been dealing with Guild-required meetings, Jessy's made every attempt to get me into their cult, this much is true. And then there have been months where she simply acted like an old, tired, former parent of sorts…which was a bit difficult to face considering her physical form. No, I don't like her, she's Sabbath through-and-through. But outside of the ideology she's one of the most honestly kind-hearted people I've ever met.

And as for their servers, they're not going to give anything up. I've said it before - if there's one undeniably good thing about the Sabbath, it's that they look after their own and those they consider their own. Until this issue is resolved there's no force that's getting info on the little one from their datastores.

…To the Far Shores with it. I've scried the delivery, they're clean of any coghaz, corruption, contaminants, and other junk. Besides, they're too proud of the things to turn them into hazards, even if they're full of too much sugar. If she's legitimately trying to be nice I can at least stomach a biscuit.

>>347744

>house ready

I do but it's a shop spare, I also need to get my default ready for meeting people and I need to give Maria's good sleeve a bath and run off something nice for us both in textile fab.

>>347734

Thanks Zooz, you're fantastic. Of course, that adds briefing Margie to the list of things I need to do.

Jade? You know how you said the wheels of government turn ever so slow, and the CDC would neither be swift nor condone your retaliation regarding the Matango incident?

>>347766

I do, yes. Is the government going to prove me wrong?

>>347767

You could say that. We don't abide Matango events.

>Attachment: Email Transcript

>

>from: <dispatch@corps.med.wiz>

>to: <Shura@maint.mamonocorp.int>

>subject: INFO infestation elimination in progress

>

>Corporal Shura,

>

>CDC report has determined source of Matango spores.

>Location is colony in ██ █████ region. Estimated depth ███ meters.

>Local unit is currently destroying source contagions. Expected time of completion: three hours five minutes.

>

>Source light your way.

>

I'm not sure how many dildos you would have been sending, but it wouldn't nearly have been enough to deal with this problem. A mountain is about to become a molten pit. Glad I don't have to be there, sporeburn duty's a more finely-detailed process than just throwing nuclear napalm on everything and detonating it. Suffice to say the problem's being dealt with.

>>347776

Between that and the data theft though, I think we should consider this complex under attack.

>>347777

We've been under attack for a while. It's my biggest argument for getting the full-facility upgrade in, and my main justification for pushing the Network straight from Gen 2 up to Gen 8. I used to have a cohort of drones and a small territory they could keep entirely locked down, now I've got a full division and the whole complex will be covered. The way things are with the newest set I can almost guarantee hostile actions will be completely dealt with instantly, outside of the digital sector which is still Kurt's hunting grounds.

…And the Network front, unfortunately, is finally hitting me with a stop. I mentioned I might have an unreasonable request - I do. There's just too many things that the Network needs to cover now, and even with Monarch loadsharing, magical boosts, and my wives for reinforcement, I can't keep up. I need to get some more computative power into the mix, which either means splitting up the Network into separate sets per building or modifying myself and Dummy yet further for greater mental capacity. I'm fine with either, but until I can verify that electronic connections can completely control the drones with as great precision as I'd prefer I'm leaning toward the second option. If you have any suggestions on the matter I'm open to ideas.

>>347778

>processing support

I've got some processing support drones equipped specifically for interfacing with your network. They still need calibration, but I've sent them your way regardless.

Also, I apologize to any members of the Building B staff who were disturbed by my confrontation with the unfortunate individual whose misfiled paperwork allowed for the data breach which was discovered last night. During the course of said confrontation, it was determined that the misfiling was a simple mistake, and the individual in question has taken steps to ensure they do not repeat it.

>>347744

>Iron Cross case.

Wait… you mean THAT Herr Strauss?! Yes. Yes Please, and do they have a preferred blood type?

(I do wish Telia was here to give an appropriate "Eeeee" on my behalf…)

>>347793

>support

Thanks. Took a while to get them hooked up and aligned in, but they're integrated properly now, and a great help. Load's dropped a good amount; it's still not at manageable levels, but definitely back in a safe range. I'll be able to hold on until a more permanent solution gets worked out.

>>347799

Mina's a bit traditional, only feeds from her husband. Petra buys from blood banks, not sure what type she buys these days, but she's likely going to follow her mother's footsteps in that regard.

And James, when you're being introduced, please keep in mind that Fredrick and Mina effectively adopted me after the Iron Cross case wrapped up. That also makes Petra my adoptive sister, so do behave yourself.

>>347801

I'm getting telemetric data from them now, should have some designed for permanent integration ready to roll inside two hours.

>>347801

I think I've got exactly what you need. Remember when I said I had no way of duplicating the hardware found in Tandy's brain? That was before you brought us your miracle golem spackle. Back up anything important on your doll' s memory expansion and bring 'er up here. I'm going to make you the guy with two brains.

>>347803

>permanent integration support drones

Once again, many thanks. It'll make everything a lot more reliable.

>>347807

>miracle golem spackle

I swear I get more done around here by accident than I've ever done intentionally. Jokes aside, I'm coming down immediately. Backups are a thing I do daily after Kurt's lecture and manuals pointed to their importance, so everything's safe and ready to go.

>>347803

Yes, because the first thing one does in meeting a giant of one's profession and quite possibly a crown jewel of personal networking is to act like a libertine… Credit me with some FEW manners.

It's almost a shame. I haven't gotten to set a proper table for a Vampire since that lovely Lithuanian woman some five years or so ago… What a treasure. I imagine her husband's deliriously happy, when he's able to maintain consciousness of course.

>>347814

I do credit you with those manners, but this is family we're talking about. I would be remiss to not say something.

>>347689

About damn time. I can finally renovate the workspace so its at least an organized chaos.

I might even put in a conveyer belt so we can get around quicker.

>>347712

I can finally get the slugs I hid out of the vents.

I can also fry anymore unpermitted shit on the computers.

>>347778

I already put up a "employees will shoot" sign outside. Just keep your eyes open and remember I never provide blanks.

>>347821

>renovate, conveyor

Provide a basic parts and resource list and we can have the Forge prepare materials for the projects.

>slugs in vents

Those have been dealt with some time ago. You will find them in a storage bin in your office, with your name on it.

>>347822

>will shoot sign, no blanks

Duly noted, defensive measures are within company regulations. Please also note that lethal force is explicitly not within regulations except under extreme circumstances. Common sense applies: if at all possible provide warning shots and attempt to exit the situation rather than escalating hostilities. I assume you know this all already, but I am required to state it for the record.

Also for the record: Zuzi, you're mad. Mad, we say. Mad.

>>347776

Well damn. I was going to take a few steps up from dildos, but I was also operating under the assumption that I'd be dealing with an individual or small group, not a full colony underground.

Also, regarding the dreamlink, your bad trip comment was fucking prescient. The first three hours went by, ah, pleasantly, but then we stumbled headfirst into a very bad memory of mine. I'm fine, it's a very old memory and I've long since come to terms with the events, but Janet is quite angry on my behalf. Never thought I'd find someone calling my family "a collection of butt-fucking assholes" heartwarming, but there you go.

>>347845

>dildos

Matangos are specifically soulless parasites violating corpses into animation. Throwing them a dildo or whatever would've just gotten their attention. Even if it were only a small patch, that's enough to call the troops. Can't cut 'em, can't stab 'em, gotta burn 'em out before they get in; best to let the professionals bring the heat.

>bad trip, heartwarming

Yeah, you're gonna run into that sort of thing from time to time. Your memories are part of you, and you're baring your souls to each other, you know? If you don't actively avoid the memories, they're gonna show up. Of course, it's also a way of showing the nicks in your edge, the run of your fuller, the things that make you you - which I'm pretty sure you just found out.

>>347831

>lethal force is explicitly not within regulations

And that's why I load soft charge with rubber bullets most of the time.

>>347845

Good to hear you came out of it okay. Also, the mental image of Janet vehemently cursing your shitty relatives is simultaneously cute and hilarious.

In unrelated news, it seems that the Iron Cross case is now far enough in the past that the phrase "Mina and Fredrick Strauss effectively adopted me" can become "Mina and Fredrick Strauss adopted me". The whole "no contact en route" part of the surprise trip was because they wanted to surprise me with this, since I hadn't really considered is as an option in a long time but was quite interested when I was younger.

>>347808

>more done by accident

Welcome to technological progress. Seriously, you have no idea how much technological development is completely accidental.

>>347836

Why thank you dears.

>>347853

>tech mostly accidents

That both explains an awful lot and is utterly unnerving.

Speaking of tech, I am at a complete loss at the moment. Aside from knowing Dummy's supposed to double up my cranial capabilities, I don't know anything about anything here. Help?

>>347856

Neither do I! Isn't it GRAND?! But really, I expect that it'll give you much the same kind of facilities that the expansion drive did, only to a greater and deeper degree, and should feel more natural to interface with. Have you tried putting your backed-up data on it yet?

>>347849

>dildos

Try thermite. While floppy fake penises might be my signature weapon, I have been known to branch out.

>>347849

>>347852

Neither of us were expecting the depth of the link - we really did just want a way to get around the size limitations. We're sure as hell not complaining, though.

<alright ive gotten it mostly out of my system now

<although for posterity, your parents can go fuck themselves with an entire saguaro cactus

>adopted

Congrats, man!

>>347858

>no clue, but grand

Wonderful, we're both flying blind. And so far I've been leery of jumping in because of worries over what I'll find, but if I just stand here doing nothing, nothing will get done.

Wish me luck, because I'm about to dive into the deep end.

>>347860

>saguaro cactus

Poetry.

>congratulations

Thanks.

>>347861

>dive into the deep end

This will be good.

Incidentally, Zuzi, how's the progress on figuring out those cores?

>>347863

I've managed to figure out that they're actually two very slightly different alloys of steel, layered in an intricate pattern. However there must be something I'm missing as I attempted to duplicate it with soulclay and got a paperweight.

Alright, reloading the data, jumping in, and…

Oh.

<I can SEE

Oh my.

<I can see SO MUCH

Zuzi? You weren't kidding.

<It's all so CLEAR

It's like a veil's been lifted. Thoughts and memories I considered swift and reliable show that they were utterly lacking in every aspect, especially compared to the depth of true dreams.

<So much POWER

And even beyond that, it's like I'm seeing the world - not seeing it, mind, not a matter of visuals - through new eyes. So many new ways to approach things, paths to travel, I was so limited in my perception I never considered trying other patterns of thought.

<So much -

Enough of that. Dratted additional thought tracks mucking up the messagery. Look, Zuzi, I need to try a few things for a moment, alright? Dummy and I will be back in a few minutes, I think the new brain may have given me just enough of an altered mindset that…well, if I get any useful data from testing the spells I'm about to cast, I'll forward them to you.

And again, thank you.

>>347860

>thermite

Wouldn't cut it, sadly. Has a bizarre reaction that just ends up fizzling out. No, it doesn't make sense, but since when does magic ever follow conventional rules?

>link depth, just sought snuggles

Well, if you're happy, that's what matters, right? Glad you ended up alright, hope your next links are all better. And yes, that's a recursive statement.

>>347863

>this will be good

You have no idea. I thought neural enhancements were good before, but now? This is amazing.

>>347864

Perhaps the properties of soulclay can't replicate the pattern in enough detail? It could also be that it needs some kind of magic-based treatment to "activate" the structure and give it the properties of the completed units.

>>347867

That's what I'm guessing, it has to be primed, either after creation or possibly during the process of creation.

Test Dummy Test Log New Brain Edition 1:

Seriously need to get a better title for these things. Right, so, with the new brain Zuzi's given me I can now cast Elementarism and Psionomania patterns to a worthwhile measure. I thought it might be the case when testing Dummy before, but actually pulling it off now is just something else. Glad I tried this in a testing subplane because the terrain is just gone.

<Anyway, relevant data - whatever, I can't be bothered to type it up when it's stored in my new brain as files. I'll just forward it.

<Gist for quick notes: the new brain is ruddy good at logic, thinks fast, reads fast, and just plain fits like a glove. Pattern design and Commjer calculations took basically no time at all, and considering I'm currently running the entire drone network alongside the calculations and this logfile I'd say that's saying something.

<Tandy must really be slowing down to let us keep up with her. Speaking of which, I've got some ideas for improving patterns specifically for use by this sort of brain.

<…And that's about it, really, for now.

>>347864

>>347867

>>347868

Mind if I take a peek at the core replica? New brain's working brilliantly, for all I know this latest work of yours could help make that latest work of yours come to fruition.

>>347869

Go for it. I've even got a 3d model of the patterns you can look at.

>>347868

I've an idea that may get some clarity on that point, but it may need Jennari's help. I want to have one of my mentors in the Order of the White Lotus look at an active core, an empty one, and the replica. The more experienced monks there are incredibly sensitive to the kind of disturbances in Ki flows that magic creates, they might be able to see enough to help.

>>347870

<…Sweet sanity-stealing soul-shriven sear-striking Source-scorned stars this is a convoluted mess and a work of utter beauty.

Sorry, I can't for the life of me work out how to make the thing come to being. I had hopes, but apparently that's not enough.

<I could see it. I could SEE it. It's there. Right there! Just out of grasp!

>>347871

I'm seconding your plan, what little I did see indicates this is a matter for Ki and not conventional magic. Connections and flow, not numbers and constructed patterns.

>>347872

I FRIGGIN KNOW, RIGHT? It's like there's a sense to the pattern that's right there and I just can't make the connection!

>>347871

Response back from Jennari:

>from: <nose_grows@genericmail.it>

>to: <Shura@maint.mamonocorp.int>

>subject: re:re:assist

>

>No.

>Approached you to bring them offer. Choice theirs to research or not. Only intended to make offer of cores. Not act as assistant.

>If they need more, ask my sister. Reach her at following contact: <cricket@genericmail.it>

>She likes talking. And research. Expect much of it. You would get along. Architect would do better.

>Chances are she will be on her way already. No. She is on her way now. Stupid sister. Looking over shoulder.

>Expect her tomorrow. You will need tea. She likes that second to research and talking.

>

>Oh, right. Sister's name is Irienarn. There. Introduced.

>

>Jennari

>

>>347873

Worst part is, I have that general sense you mentioned, but that sense does not make sense.

<The only thing that comes close to it is Psionomania, and that's literally lying to the world and having it believe you.

<Like the thing is at its core only as functional as it is because it's convinced the world that it's as functional as it is.

I don't want to jump to conclusions. Irienarn will be here some time tomorrow, and if she's anything like Jennari's said I fear for my sanity. Sanities? Two brains makes mindwords difficult. All I know is, I'm going to be brewing sani-TEA a lot tomorrow.

>>347875

Eh, you still have just one thinking-system, only now instead of just having two hemispheres connected by a corpus callosum, you've now got that unit connected to the unit in Dummy via your link to it. So two hemispheres and a sphere? Though it's more of a lump than a sphere…

>>347875

I've reached out to one of the monks at the local abbey. Everyone calls him Shinpuru the gardener. The man's a master in every sense but the name, rejects promotion within the ranks of the order in favor of pursuing what he feels called to. If any of the monks can figure this out, it'll be him.

I've also sent Yom a message requesting an extra stock of his "clarity" blend of tea, which should arrive tomorrow morning.

>>347877

>braaaaains

Great, talk about a headcase. Honestly, this stuff is, as I said, all beyond me. If you have any tests you want to run regarding this bizarre bounty of brains I'm all for it, I'd love to know just what in the Five Fires I've gotten myself into, and honestly it'd be fun. But unless it's urgent I'd like to push it to the next few days, given tomorrow's incoming insani-TEA and the overall craziness of today.

>>347878

>yom's tea incoming

Excellent, that's going to make things much smoother.

Also, bit of a question. Nu tells me I should be looking for another box of tea from Yom. Anything good? And is it best at certain times?

>>347879

>another box of tea

I had quite forgotten about that. I believe it was Nu who wanted the effect to be a surprise (@Warband correct me if I'm wrong). It's caffeinated, with some special additives that respond to a certain set of biological reactions. For best results, drink throughout the day and enjoy the effects of the additives when you get home.

>>347880

>surprise

…You know what, I'm not even going to think about it right now. Considering how many surprises I've come across in the past two months, and how many of them have been utterly good, I'm going to assume this is one of them and simply follow the directions for this case.

Either way, I'm thinking I need to step back for a bit, meditate, see to the family. Dummy's new superthinker deluxe can keep the network running in the background with your support drones for, well, support. It's another big day tomorrow, after all.

>>347881

I think that might be a good idea, especially since Tee and Maria need to be introduced to my parents and my sister. In case of emergency, I'll respond to the usual contact channels.

>>347852

>adopted

I'm so happy for you! Let's hope Maria doesn't have to wait as long as you did.

>>347883

The house is in order, I'm ready, Maria's ready, let's do this.

>>347877

Zuzi, I've got more data on the brain upgrade.

To start, that multi-track-drifting thing I noticed with my thoughts during the activation isn't stopping anytime soon. I don't know if it's because the brains are different in make, in connection, or point of origin, but unless I focus I've got multiple streams-of-consciousness going at any given time.

<Not gonna complain, it makes managing the Network immensely more handleable, but it was really confusing at first. Pretty sure one track devoted itself explicitly to keeping music in the background, starting with something involving a "Night of Fire."

One downside to this is I can't meditate anymore due to lacking any stillness of thought. That said, I've barely had any training on the matter so I'm not overly worried; I'll just keep attending lessons at the Temple until I learn a better method.

<And then further, because why stop learning with a brain like this?

Separately, after realizing I couldn't meditate I tried some tea to relax, and noticed that Dummy started experiencing the effects.

<I don't know if it's feedback, simulation, psychosomatic or what, but after a lot of teas and coffees - and chocolates, Nu was making a bunch as part of what I assume is the upcoming surprise she had planned, and needed me to test - I've found I get all the brainfeels on Dummy's brain as on my own.

However it works, I ended up testing a hefty quantity of a wide variety of foodstuffs and got appreciable data from the matter. Even if it's got a skew because of my circumstances, hopefully you can use it for improved synthchems.

Finally, I tried some more casting practice and found that the new brain makes an appreciable improvement across the board, not just in the schools I noted during the first test.

<Tandy, I've compiled a set of patterns of the various schools with cross-school effects, calibrated - I believe - to work more effectively with Automaton brains. I'm forwarding the files to you, with any luck you'll be able to recalibrate them further.

…Which brings me to the second odd part. Out of curiousity I took a look at some Mamono-specific spells, and while I still can't cast a single one, I can at least parse through and understand what they're trying to say. I can't forward them, but I'm attaching contact info for a resource database my school holds on the matter, from which they can be requested.

>>347852

>adopted

Congratulations! Family is important. I'm glad you've got yours.

>>347928

>meditation troubles

Try focusing your awareness on the ebb and flow of the world around you. Let awareness of the world fill your entire focus.

>family

After introductions were made, Tandy and my mother had a chat while my father and I worked on the paperwork for the adoption and Maria hung out with Petra. I don't know what Tandy and my mother talked about, and with the smirk on Mina's face when she came to collect my father for feeding, I'm a little scared to ask.

>>347928

This data supports an idea I have, and should be incredibly useful to me. I'll let you know if I'm right.

>>347980

Among other things, she asked me about my parents and the look she had on her face when I described how they cut ties with me when I told them the diagnosis that their only son would inevitably become their daughter was one of the scariest things I've ever seen. I mean, they said some deplorable things. Can you make sure she doesn't do anything to them?

>>347980

>meditation advice

I'll have to give that a try later. Right now, though, I've got a bit of a distraction in the form of an easily-exciteable oddball pseudo-Golem. Irienarn didn't waste any time arriving this morning, and between the caffeine in this new brew and her near-constant chatter, I've been hard-pressed for a moment of peace. Jennari wasn't kidding about the talking. Not that I mind, per se; she's amazingly knowledgeable on Golemartistry and I've learned an immense amount in the past few hours. She's looking forward to seeing what Shinpuru can determine, this is literally her life's work and having it finally reach a new threshold is a dream come true.

<But I feel like if I let my guard down for a moment I'm going to find Dummy in pieces as Irienarn tries to figure out how I tick. She's not discriminate in her research.

>family meeting

I'm glad it went well, although I somehow doubt it could have turned out otherwise.

>>347988

Shinpuru should be arriving soon, I'll direct him to your office once he does.

>>347985

>make sure Mina doesn't do something rash

Knowing her, she probably wouldn't do anything to them without clearing it with you first. I'll make sure of that.

>>347990

>Shinpuru soon

Source light your way forever, I doubt I'd be able to keep her off the idea of "inspection" for much longer. Even with the most relaxing tea available constantly refilling her cup she just never stops.

<Seriously, it's like she's made out of lightning and terminal velocity. I'd have done many things to have that sort of energy a few months ago.

>>347993

Shinpuru's on his way to your office. Heads up, he may seem like he's placid-bordering-on-senile but he's actually just at peace with everything. If he says something that makes no sense, he's probably answering a question several layers beneath what you said.

Herr Worthington, my parents and sister want to talk about the situation surrounding Maria from a legal perspective. Being related to the top two lawyers in Berlin and the star pupil of the best law school in Germany has its perks it seems.

>>347997

Shinpuru's here, and from what little of their conversation that I can work out, he and Ireanarn seem to have found common ground. You weren't kidding about the man's peace; the moment he came in here it's like everything calmed down a bit. I can't make a lick of sense out of half the things he says, but blast if it isn't fun trying. Right now they're just sharing a bit of Yom's brew and discussing the issue regarding the cores before we all go find out what Shinpuru can see in the set.

>>347985

>idea

Looking forward to hearing what you find out.

>>348002

How are things going with Shinpuru and Ireanarn?

>>347985

I raised your concern with Mina. She has some unpleasant things to day to your folks if she meets them and they haven't changed their minds on the matter, but won't go beyond harsh words unless they do.

>>348059

>ireanarn

*Irienarn. Apologies on our husband's behalf, that was a misspelling. He was disinclined to attempt correction due to server issues being as they are.

As for the core examination, Shinpuru took a look at Irienarn, the blank, and the replica, and sat down to meditate. When he broke meditation, he picked up some soulclay from our stores, shaped it, and provided us three fresh blank cores. Then he collected a bit of the clay for his own purpose, spoke some words to our husband, and departed.

I'm not certain what was said, but it was apparently enough to drive Wielder into a meditative state of his own despite recent complications. An hour later he absconded to a crafting subplane with a sizeable quantity of the soulclay. We'll pull him out in a half hour if he doesn't emerge on his own. He should be able to provide more details then.

Happy generic Equinox celebrations! I have returned from a wonderful dinner with Janet's folks. Portions were tiny and I might have had my fingernails forcibly painted by her youngest sister, but damn are her folks nice. And, as if by some horrible magic, there's no work to be done once I finally drag myself in to work!

When's the other shoe dropping, I wonder?

>>348061

>Shura has been taken by a strange mood

On a scale from "the Frans are screwing around again" to "someone pissed off the Sabbath," how concerned should I be?

>>348063

>fingernails forcibly painted

That's adorable.

>no work to be done

Honestly to be expected given the number of equinox festivals.

>>348061

>pull him out

I'd suggest just into the subplane and checking on him. Disrupting one's work when it was inspired by meditative epiphanies can be a bad idea.

I have returned. And I have good news.

>>348059

>>348065

>shinpuru and irienarn

Oh, I thought I saw things in a new light yesterday but I was still so blind. Those two decided to collaborate on a lesson. And I have learned. The way these cores are made…I can't even describe it in words. I don't have the words. Words are mere descriptors of concepts, and the cores' concepts defy description. So I can't pass on the lesson with such simple things.

<But words aren't the only tool available. Zuzi, I would transfer the files but they're simply too memory-intensive to handle any sort of bandwidth. Going to need to directly download from Dummy's brain to your databanks whenever you have a moment.

I can, however, say this: the cores Jennari provided were incomplete. Missing a key component, a key concept. If my understanding is correct, the full, true core is able to store a soul such as an AI, transfer between other cores, stand against nearly all destructive force and hostile magical effects…and build a simple body besides. Much like what Maria has been doing intuitively. It's not to the same level of control as Maria's efforts, nor the degree of customization available to works made by those such as Mog and yourself, but for a basic self-image or emergency escape it should suffice. I would not have been able to see it without instruction from Shinpuru and Irienarn, and I would not have been able to hold it in my mind without the new brain you gave me. So, Zuzi, it is also yours and Tandy's work that lead to this.

>meditative revelatory state

Them not disturbing me may have been for the best. I was busy. R&D, expect thirty of the new cores delivered soon.

>>348063

>strange mood, concern

A fey mood, indeed. And a good one. The fortress stands strong.

>other shoe dropping

Tomorrow. Expect a delivery of approximately all the soulclay. It can be put in the Warehouse for storage; please mark at least three-fourths for R&D use.

>>348059

>unpleasant things

That's putting it mildly, I imagine. From our most recent talk, I gather family is pretty important to her, and there's not much more loathsome to her than a parent betraying their child. On a lighter note, she seems to like having someone up late to talk to. And don't worry about the smirk. We were just talking lady stuff. (Also, if I ever need something to destroy my circulatory pump from the feels, I will think back to Maria asking "Are you my gramma now?", Mina replying "If you want me to be", and them hugging. i cri evrtiem)

>>348061

When he gets out, I've made progress. In that first lesson, I did better when I approached it like a programming issue. And this pattern not only has continued throughout my successes but aligns clearly with the information Shura sent on how the various schools apply to AI. Inspired by an earlier discussion, I've been thinking about what instinctive casting might look like for Automatons and I think it's programming. Programmancy, maybe?

>>348071

>Maria and Mina bonding

I'll need to see that memory next time we use the dream-link. I'll also have to share the memory of Petra getting her ass handed to her by Maria at TuxCart. I don't think Petra's ever had that much fun losing at something in her entire life, and Maria's confusion at the way she took it was diabetes-inducing sweetness.

>programmancy

Logomancy perhaps? Manipulation of logic?

>>348071

>programmancy

Sounds like you've got this well in hand. Of course, you do realize you're going to need to write it all up and publish it, I trust? This is completely new ground you're breaking. Libraries pay an absolute mint for new material on the topic.

>>348074

More like Algorithmancy. It's an unpacking and very detailed codification of intent, will, and execution. And likely only to be of much use to those with digital brains because of the amount of information handled.

>>348076

I may only have one brain but it's enough to be recording notes this whole time.

Hey, Zuzi? Good news, bad news.

Good news is, I've got a rather stupid amount of new data regarding Dummy.

Bad news, I'm back to being just a normal human with one brain again, woke up this morning without the enhanced capacity. And Dummy, well, it…no, she is out of sorts. Apparently running an absurd amount of Spirit through the mind and body, along with as much exposure to my wives as there was, combined with the new brain and direct mental link to act as pseudo-runes (somehow), all that Soulclay, and that immense burst of meditative creativity - suffice to say that Dummy may have become some sort of imitation Golem or Living Doll. The conversation on realizing what had happened was disturbing beyond description; she's got my memories, a hefty portion of my personality, and exactly as much lack of clue as I do regarding what in the blue blazes to do now. I didn't just dive into the deep end, I ruddy well broke into the Abyss. The only conclusion we were able to reach is that we need to know what this all means, so we're both going to submit to whatever tests are necessary to gain that understanding.

Zuzi, I need your technical advice. Mr. Worthington, I need your legal advice. And I am most certainly going to need spiritual advice because this situation is so far beyond me that I can't even begin to comprehend it.

>>348078

>one brain

Yeah, about that…

>>348126

>dummy split off from Shura into a separate being

This surprises me less than it should. Is she going to be keeping the name "Test Dummy" or picking a new one?

>>348126

Get your asses up here, we'll get you in a dreamlink and I can use it to examine your connection. If all goes well, I can probably even boost it enough so you can join back up. Imagine if we can get it so you can join and split whenever you want…

>>348130

>name

I hadn't really thought about that. "Test Dummy" was just what I called it because that's what it was. Her new status makes the moniker not quite applicable anymore.

<I've just been trying to wrap my head around the detail that I'm not me anymore. Bit difficult to just choose a name, given the connection to identity. I mean, who even am I at this point? What am I now?

>>348135

Be right there.

<Figured this might happen one way or another. Let's see what you can see.

>split and join

Phrasing?

<Phrasing.

>>348136

>Phrasing

Hey, what you guys get up to down there is none of my business. As for a name, Tess sounds like Test.

>>348141

Excuse me if I take refuge in ribald remarks in the face of existential crisis.

<I went to bed as one person and woke up as two. The situation has rather killed libido for the moment. I'm more focused on figuring out what is what now, anything else can wait.

That said, the idea of a controlled merging is appealing. Fire up the device, we're ready.

>tess

It could work.

<Tess it is.

>>348143

Okay, you're in now. Good news, you've still got just one spirit between you. The connection is still there, it's just your perception that's changed. Imagine you're a balloon that's gotten crimped in the middle so that it seems like there's two balloons side by side. I don't envy you the incredible disorientation that'll probably result when you join back up and have to sync two sets of memories.

>>348145

>one spirit

Sunless Days, that is a relief.

<I'm still me, then.

>one mind, two "minds" implication

So it's as if, in the process of trying to make effective use of both brains, my soul got confused and started parallel tracks for them to run on? Certainly explains the initial multiple tracks bit.

<I'm still me, but a temporarily separate instance of me, with the modified digital brain and synthsleeve body providing the perception shift. Or something.

>join back up, sync

…Good thing I've got experience in that regard, I suppose. As many times as I've temporarily merged with my wives, this should be straightforward…and it's not straightforward in the slightest. That disorientation is seriously a thing.

<We can push the sense of "We" back into "I" long enough to sync up, but it seems like without the sort of focus Shinpuru put on us last night, being able to recombine isn't in the cards yet.

On the other hand, it's not like this is a bad thing. Sure, it's bizarre, but that's par for the course around here, isn't it?

<Wouldn't mind being able to try out that Algorithmancy stuff Tandy figured out. If I'm using this brain separately from my original on a regular basis, I might be able to actually cast from the school instead of getting stuck at the parsing step. It's some seriously powerful stuff.

Anyway, thanks again. Any other tests you think ought be done to check on the new situation? I'd rather be thorough from the start than have nasty surprises show up at bad times.

>>348149

Nothing comes to mind at the moment, the situation seems fairly straightforward. You should probably regularly practice pulling your perception back together like that, even if it's only momentary it'll stretch those particular mental muscles.

I sleep for a few hours, and Shura becomes two people. Mamonocorp, ladies and gentlemen.

>Algorithmancy

Missed a chance to call it "arithmancy" and make everyone who's ever read Harry Potter groan in annoyance. In all seriousness, when you write the book, I'm going to have to pick up a copy. I definitely don't have the processing power on hand to use it, but it'd definitely be worth trying to parse through.

>Phrasing

I giggled.

<same

>Tess

What is it with AIs and names that start with T? Telia, Tandy, Tess…

>got my dwarf fortress reference

Did you actually start playing that? Given how little you know about videogames it seems really unlikely.

<i see that fey mood joke

<i also see the one you tried not to make jade don't think im letting you off easy either

>soulclay

Order is in. Someone please remove it from my warehouse so I can actually move things around.

Speaking of orders: Something went wrong with a batch of My Cuddle Boyfriends; best as I can tell, the motors governing certain penile actions started running spontaneously, which seems to have resulted in a bunch of exploded wangs and lots of fake semen all over my floor. Someone should probably take a look at that problem.

>>348152

>practice

Most definitely. That, plus meditation. Lots of meditation.

<Gonna be interesting seeing how that pans out.

>>348154

>two people

The best thing about being me…

<There are so many "me"s.

Quotes from films of questionable quality aside, I am the guy what's been attaching things to my consciousness for a while. In hindsight, I'm surprised I've managed to go this long without consequences.

>dwarf fortress

I…may have thrown the game into my other brain to get some more practice in micromanaging an exorbitant quantity of insensate shmucks.

<It ended up being more fun than I expected.

>fey mood

Take it up with Merryway. She's the one who recommended the game, and pointed out the joke in the first place.

>soulclay order

Expect a swarm of Lights to have it dealt with momentarily, and thanks for the patience.

>mess

…Expect a separate swarm of Lights to have it dealt with momentarily. Cleanup on aisle "why".

>>348154

>T names

Coincidence? I just put a T on my old name because it was my first computer way back when.

>book

The folks at Shura's academy are going to shit bricks when they see the code I'm describing here. Screyton might as well have been using BASIC this whole time. How's this for a first sentence? "Imagine a school of magic that is absolutely nothing but advanced Commjer calculations all the way down and you might begin to see why casting as an Automaton can is an insurmountable task for someone without an artificially enhanced brain."

>>348154

Also, the exploding MCB incident coincided with a spike in network activity. Someone probing us for vulnerabilities?

>>348159

>probing

More like throwing everything they can at us to see what sticks. I've been catching and killing intrusions for the past two hours, and I've about half a dozen undocumented Zero-Days to report when this is dealt with. So far the intrusions haven't gotten anywhere other than the honeypots I've spun up after the MCBs blew. I'm doing my best to keep it that way, but these attacks are coming from somewhere with money and processing power enough that they probably wipe their asses with hundreds or something similar. With luck the phone call I just finished making will lead to the source of these attacks being hit with the same dirty they're trying to do here and worse.

>>348158

>book

Consider it preordered.

>>348182

>probe attacks

Do you have a name or location?

>>348183

>name or location

I've the locations of a few thousand computers that have been used to bounce the attacks around before launching them against us. With any luck, the attack source will be rather thoroughly vandalized in a way that can be easily ID'd.

Janet, you may want to see the results of the call I made.

Herr Worthington, I take no responsibility for what happens as the result of calling an acquaintance from a convention to complain about someone making my day less than pleasant.

>>348184

I got Maria's core in a Faraday room just in time. I've shut down all my networking and whatever they're doing now still hurts. I'm glad Maria wasn't connected to her good sleeve when it (and mine, ouch) blew in a similar way to those Boyfriends.

>>348185

Well. Now it's personal. There will be hell to pay for whoever started this. Attacking my professional environment is one thing, but once my family is in the line of fire I'm out for blood. I have some more calls to make.

Herr Worthington, the actions which occur as a result of the calls I am about to make are in no way my own, as much as I'd like them to be. The actions I do take are actions are my own, and are not taken on behalf of the company.

>>348184

>few thousand computers

Why did I think it would be at all simple…

>>348187

Get the location and I can have you there at a moment's notice, armed and warded for bear. Or I can have them moved to you.

>>348184

What's that Kurt? I think your auto-reply is malfunctuoning. Everybody knows you and your lovely family are enjoying the sun in the south pacific where there is regrettably minimal if any data network coverage. I've even got the approved leave form to prove it. So I have no idea what these posts could possibly mean and there's no way they could be used against you in any kind of legal framework.

>>348190

If I theoretically was there, it would be likely that I figured out how to magic up an EM barrier, and now having a way to keep Maria shielded we both would be headed to Kurt's office, if we were there. Boy this sun sure is swell.

Systems Status Update:

For reasons unknown, the intrusions and intrusion attempts against the company network have ceased. A network audit is underway to ensure no lingering effects exist. While I wish all sorts of unpleasant things on the individuals behind this incident for necessitating my emergency recall from vacation, the source of the attack is as of yet unidentifiable due to the sudden and violent halt of said attack, and the individuals responsible for this incident will most likely not be successfully identified for reporting to the authorities. All vulnerabilities revealed by this incident have been reported to the respective vendors, and their account representatives for MamonoCorp are in the process of handling the appropriate reparations for the oversights on their part which led to this attack being possible.

Encrypted Addendum: Eyes-Only Recipients R&D, Maintenance, Legal

All attack vectors went dark in a manner indicating the attacker suffered a massive cyberattack from a third party. Such an attack would likely lead to crippling physical infrastructure damage, with severe hazard to on-site personell.

Analysis of the data logged in the attack indicates that the target was the R&D data storage cluster, specifically the data regarding the new cores. Comparison of attack characteristics against known actors with the capacity of this sort of attack revealed regional traits common to Eastern Europe, former Soviet Bloc.

No further identifying data was extractable.

>>348201

How in the violently bleeding corroded HELLS did they find out about the new cores al-fucking-ready?

>>348203

I suspect that they knew we were analyzing and attempting to replicate the original blanks, and went after that data.

>>348201

<Source scorn the lot of them, they best not try again. Are you and your family going to be alright and safe?

And what do we need to do to make such an attack no longer possible? I can't do anything on the digital side, but if you need resources just say the word and they're yours.

>>348206

Doesn't seem like my family or I were the targets. Seems we're out a sleeve each for Tandy and Maria, with Tandy having been in hers when it suffered the damaging effects of the attack (mercifully no lasting damage beyond needing a replacement sleeve). As for preventative measures, warding the facilities against dangerous levels of electromagnetic discharge is the only thing I can think of. Software updates for all the previously undocumented vulnerabilities will be made available soon, and applying those patches is nearly if not the extent of what can be done against this attack vector.

On the upside though, we most certainly won't be hearing from that specific group again.

>>348206

We could isolate the buildings from electromagnetic waves but that would have the side effect of also blocking all wireless communication. The explody bits I think were unintended, just some particularly sensitive components reacting to whatever carrier wave they hit us with. Some of the more delicate equipment in the shop is fried. Also, I need to get me some repair nanites like Mog used in Maria's sleeve, it'll be good as new in a few hours while I have some serious repairs to make down there.

>>348208

There wasn't any structural damage to the sleeves, just a rather embarrassing pelvis crater. In every sleeve and Boyfriend doll in the buildings.

Maintenance Bulletin

In the aftermath of a facility-wide attack, a full-systems anti-electromagnetic-discharge warding scheme will now be put into place. Please do not interfere with the Lights placing wards on all surfaces and systems. These wards are reactive in nature and will remain at minimal effect except in event of attack, in which case all wireless communications will be taken offline temporarily due to interference.

>>348208

>>348209

Wards going up. They'll react to incoming effects and Faraday the buildings, but only as needed. Wish I could help with the repairs but I get the feeling I'd just get in the way. You've got your override codes if you need Network drones for additional workforce.

>>348213

<…When R&D has a spare moment, I may need some repairs. No rush, just, you know…

>>348217

>>348213

Get up here, I'll fit you both with repair nanites.

>>348228

<Zuzi, you glorious madwoman, thank you.

What a day. Existential crises in the morning, electronic warfare in the evening…what's next, divine visitation?

>>348233

>>348234

This whole place is full of mamono, both taken and single, and you're threatening the men here. I don't think you ladies have thought this through. I'd recommend you flee the country.

>>348236

Fuck you Stacy

>>348231

>what's next, divine visitation?

You had to ask, didn't you? It appears the answer is shitposting from the company network.

>>348237

Oh hey, what's this? It's your home address. I'll just forward it to the orc horde in Recieving. Enjoy the dakka.

Source, what is this even…

>>348233

There's no Dark Matter in at least a two-click radius. It'd trip every sensor around, even without the Network to scan.

>>348238

Hey, in my defense this is most certainly not divine. We've had Divine visits before, this isn't that.

>>348239

Liebe, stop taking the bait.

>>348239

Yet they failed to get me

>>348239

If you're so capable of doxxing us why don't you find my home address so I can treat you to dinner.

>>348241

Sorry dear, the nanites just started repairs and the weird sensation is throwing me off.

>>348244

That explains why Tess is eye-crossed in a corner. Not sure I'm looking forward to that particular syncup.

Oh look I'm using my own account, that's how you know I'm serious.

Sorry I wasn't around to help with the intrusion, I was putting out my own fires. Jade's been fielding a call from his gods-be-damned relatives, apparently they figured out where he lives and set his house on fire. From what I've been overhearing the Church usually excommunicates people with guns, which matches what I saw in the dreamlink.

So I've been spending the last few hours systematically filling every drive I can find in their systems with Matango porn, and he's been calling friends to "drown them in bird pussy." I'll have to remind him to get on the horn with Merryway, drown 'em in fairies too. Hell, didn't he talk to those wizards about this? Can't remember. Debating on whether to go the extra few miles and start targeting personal computers, I normally wouldn't think twice but it would open me up to a counterattack. Anyways, that's been our night. Sorry we haven't helped.

Interesting counterattack. Fork bombs and shit are usually only metaphorically explosive. How'd they make the servers literally explode, in such a way that they'd be a danger to personnel nearby?

>>348247

Let him know he's got assistance inbound.

>from: <3of6@corps.med.wiz>

>to: <Shura@maint.mamonocorp.int>

>subject: INFO we're on it

>

>Oi, Four!

>Why didn't you tell us about that Source-blasted shitshow sooner?

>Fookin' Illias, man, damn.

>Anyway, tell that guy and his Fey dame that we'll be there ASAP.

>

>Source light your way.

>

>>348247

Keep in mind, I don't know who did it or how, only who most likely did it and how they would have.

A particularly irritating feature of the malware written by the most likely group behind the counter is that it gets into the BIOS by the same method that one can update the BIOS legitimately. Once you have that access, you can do all kinds of things with power supply capacitors and other hardware components.

Alp women are disgustingly ugly and white men would never go for you. You're just butthurt that you were made as an Alp piece of shit, so you lash out by pretending that I didn't kill your coworkers . You even admit that you wish you were half of a man. You'll never be half of a man and you'll never fulfill your dream of marrying a white man. I suggest you jump off a bridge

>>348248

<incoming

You're a lifesaver. Jade says 'to tell them to "use their discretion." Quite frankly I think the only reason he hasn't pulled a shotgun and gone charging out the door himself is because he's technically still a fugitive, and the Church can hook his pseudonym to his old name and pass that to a sympathetic magistrate. So, yeah, go nuts. Gods alone know I have. I might have sent a gift-wrapped mini saguaro cactus to a certain couple's house with step-by-step instructions on where to put it and how to get it there. You know, among other things.

>>348249

<direct hardware access

Yep, that'd do it. Kinda odd that, if that is in fact what happened wink that they didn't have redundant non-electrical fire suppression. Capacitors popping isn't fun, sure, but they're not grenades. They'd have to aim to burn the building down, and I know for a fact that we, just to use us as an example, we have sprinklers and water mains that start running due to physics and not computerized activation.

>>348251

Just out of curiosity, how averse are Illias worshippers to being suddenly dropped in a Wonderland dungeon? Cousin Frank's been asking for some assistance with his wife's demands for new castle personnel.

>>348251

System, block this from all but @janetR @Tandy and @Shura

>

>From: <01100110.01110101.01100011.01101011.01111001.01101111.01110101@torweb.onion>

>To:<mainframe.404@torweb.onion>

>

>Subject: Re: HDYDI?

>

>Podunk Gopnik wannabe-l33ts with recalled-for-saftey-reasons UPSes

>Not like you to ask, even for a friend.

>Watch your ports, people are offering big money for info on the kid.

>

>Fick-dich

>>348254

<Wonderland

Oh, I'm sure they'd be just fine with it.

>>348255

<wannabe-l33ts, recalled UPSes

<fick-dich

That's fucking funny, not gonna lie. Couldn't have happened to a better group of people.

>>348255

I'll defer to you because this is your family. But if you get me names I can have them bundled up and gone.

<Frank's a nutcase, and his wife has an absurd obsession with playing cards. But they're good at keeping people out of the way.

>>348256

Speaking of people out of the way, I'm pretty sure my squad are still searching for a few individuals but the majority are now being trained as butlers and maids.

<They'll be painting those roses red all day long.

>>348258

>names

The way the space he’s referring to doesn’t use names. If it did, I’d pass them along.

>>348259

You know what I mean. If you get wind of an individual or group being a danger to your little one, you need only say the word. I don't abide threats to my family or friends. And as of three hours ago I have official authorization to use whatever force I deem necessary for this specific task:

>from: <dispatch@corps.med.wiz>

>to: <Shura@maint.mamonocorp.int>

>subject: INFO authorization confirmed

>

>Corporal Shura,

>

>Regarding request of aid to parents of VIP Young Core:

>Permission Granted.

>

>Source light your way.

>

Remember when everyone was scrambling for favors? I thought this one was a loss. Then a septuply-encrypted message shows up in my inbox.

I have reclaimed my computer, ha!

>>348258

>searching for people

Those people probably have divine assistance. Say what you will about Illias - and Ammit knows I say a lot - but She does look out for Her followers. And, you know, hates excoms. Lucky me. Tell your buddies thanks for the assist, Shura. I'm still drowning the main offices in harpies, and Janet's already turned their boot sectors into a mushroom fetishist's wet dream. I told them to leave things well enough alone when we last spoke. I warned them.

I'm going to get some use out of that key I won, Shura. House is a write-off, fucking Holy Napalm doesn't leave much behind. I can afford a new one because of the ten kilos of gold you dropped on me, but in the meantime I really need a place to sleep, and wouldn't you know I have a key that produces exactly what I need. Probably going to wait until the church calms itself down before I try to play the market.

For the record, I did look at the books back home; I'm not actually a fugitive. That's only because interested parties were kindly requested to let things slide. I'm not in the business of pushing my luck.

Regarding the recent intrusion: Why now? If the gopniks - plausible deniability, blah blah blah - were after the cores, why isn't Jennari up to her armpits in cheeki breeki tacticool stalkers?

<I V DAMKE

>>348264

Wannabe wiz-kids are dime-a-dozen in that part of the world. If you have a bit of cash to spend, you can put entire towns worth of script-kiddies to a task for less than you would need to get one skilled black-hat. My money's on hired asshats with no regard for ethics.

>>348261

>Authorization

I swear Shura, you're some kind of saint-in-the-making.

>>348264

>"divine" assistance

Wonderful. Oh, well, that just means Kars'll be having fun for a while.

<He always did like a good hunt.

>homeless

Glad the key's useful. If the Church keeps on you to the point of giving you trouble in finding permanent lodgings you're welcome to a spot on my mountain. I'm never going to be able to make use of the whole thing, anyway. You might need to be a bit creative with building on it, and power and connectivity would need to be run in, but it's spacious and not too far from civilization.

<Got a dedicated portal to work, too.

>cores now specifically

Alongside Kurt's explanation, I should point out that Jennari and Irienarn are using incomplete versions of the cores. Shinpuru's assist made the complete version finally possible.

<Or maybe it's something else entirely, the two of me are grasping at straws here.

Well bugger me, that was a weekend. Looks like some Ilians got forcibly husbanded. One shrieking fanatic even seemingly lost enough of what remained of her mind to try and spear-tackle what I'm pretty sure was some mid-circle daemon.

Needless to say she had a rapid change of heart once she got used to the tail.

Mind you, lotta monster-supremacists with a boot-shaped 'sorry' in their backsides. Fatalities on both sides sadly unavoidable, and it's a little hard to point and laugh when some nineteen year old kid is crawling through rubble missing bits when his buddy fucks up lobbing a grenade.

Couple of failed engagements on both sides against us too, kinda hard to avoid when both sides see half of your army as potential converts and the other as vile heretics. My FUCK though, our Temple Mages are dropping some next level shit these days. I will never get used to some pimply seventeen year old weighing in at a buck o'five soaking wet hovering fifteen feet off the ground whilst pulling the kind of power the mind shudders to comprehend from a choir of angels ecstatically singing just the other side of reality, all the while throwing what I can only assume are molten globs of pure 'fuck you' at the approaching aggressors, whilst also reciting the Doctrines most brutal 'Fire and Brimstone' segments at the top of his lungs.

In other news Machiko was Not Pleased when I got home. Thanks whoever told, I hope someone puts a shiny thing on top of your house when a wyrm's passing by. Git. One positive, at least I found out that gold fluting on whatever you're wearing reduces her willingness to try and incinerate you directly. The 'Nest' is looking good though. Apparently it won't be long until she lays. (I know, the egg was a shock to me too, but when I expressed said surprise she just pointed at her horns and stared at me. Fair point that.)

>>348154

>T Names

Telia says it was a batch number thing. Her serial number was T3L14SB03GF228I after all, and that's where Jonno got the name from. They're doing well, Jonno's trying to convince the local Kami to let him put up a little shrine to the Lord of Light, but there must be a translation problem, because the Priestesses seem to think the proposal uproariously funny. Don't ask me, I can't work it out either.

>>348234

>Supreme Gentlewoman

I keep telling you scalies. Challenging a man to single combat is not viewed by humans as 'the same as a date'. You can't ignore a cultural gap then cry when you fall in it. Fucks sake.

10/10 shitposting though, I giggled

>>348239

Sadly, likely they got bored halfway there or spotted a rowing team to try and molest.

>>348264

>Divine Assistance.

The one divine puddle-stomp their priesthood managed to pull over the weekend (Between us taking pot-shots at their morale and siren blowing their concentration as well as their… well you know…) seemed to be kinda indiscriminate. I hear she's prone to tantrums when shit doesn't go exactly how she'd like, personally.

And don't forget Kurt and Tandy, you've got that Choir on spiritual speed-dial, The Preceptor did ask me to note that.

(I don't know if the image of a choir of angels sitting in heaven, checking their watches and muttering 'we doing this thing?' is blasphemous or not, but it made me giggle.)

(Also on the subject of the divine, what exactly IS Lightfull? I know She's got lines 'upstairs' but she looks pretty human to me.)

Maintenance Bulletin:

As of approximately nine (9) hours from this posting, assuming no event takes place to interrupt things, the facility upgrade to electrical and network systems will begin for buildings B through D.

Details on the upgrade can be found in bulletins in the archive. For more information, please contact Maintenance.

IT Department, I'll wait on your go before beginning the cable changeover.

R&D Department, I'll wait on your go before hooking up the new AP Jet power plants. One per building, redundant supplies.

Speaking of power, Zuzi, what exactly is Tess powered by? If Dummy ran out of juice during testing I could just plug it in and let it charge, but with how the Source outright growls now if we even consider shutting down the sleevebody the both of me are leery at the prospect of low power.

<I'm doing okay for now - haven't exactly been heavily active recently, what with events - but if there's any sort of risk in the future I'd rather know now and have means or understanding towards preventing it.

Jade, I've got a line on a housing option. If you contact my sister Ada at <adamantine@dragonsdendevelopment.com> to discuss location and design, she can have a decently-sized house built and outfitted in roughly forty-eight hours, with an additional twenty-four if you want fortress-level protection. According to her, one of the perks of being the founder, owner, and majority shareholder of "the" construction firm is she can do gratis work for friends of family. Just don't be surprised at her appearance - she's a Wurm, but she's dense, not stupid.

>>348286

>what is Lightfull

She's a ████████████████ . If you can read that, it means She's willing to let you possess this information. I'm still not sure why She allowed me to know.

>>348312

She's got convertors based on the ones in Tandy. As long as you're in there and your family loves you like they do, you won't need to recharge. On the other hand, I didn't bother removing the AC power cord so you've got a backup. Access seam in your torso's right side.

>>348318

<Repair nanites, reliable power, custom mods galore and just-in-case backup redundancies - I know I said you live up to your handle, but, wow. I'll try not to go too mad with power as a perfect, immortal machine. Seriously, from all of us, thank you.

Also, good news: through the aforementioned plan of mental exercise and meditation I'm able to keep a merged consciousness for five seconds before desyncing. Got time dilated sessions at the Temple planned on a regular basis, so that should increase.

<If you can use that sort of dual-perspective thing for any organic-synthetic comparison trials or other research, I'm up for tests any time. It'd be nice to actually have a focused plan for learning as opposed to the scattershot of random topics I'd been looking into before.

…Come to think of it, that reminds me. Technically speaking, even if Tess is me and not AI, while we're desynced semi-distinct entities she's still kind of a robot of a sort. The research might be actually making a "more streamlined, reliable method for others to have the same sort of fun time." I wrote that all as a joke, how did it end up becoming so close to truth?

>>348321

That's not a particularly difficult thing to do, we don't need a separation as strong as yours for someone to feel similar effects. And unlike your situation they could end it easily if they want or barring that would drift back together next time they sleep. I'll have a dreamlink with the new feature in an hour or so.

This is an automated message, answer to it only in case of complaints or emergencies.

""Greetings Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an announcement from Human Resources.""

First of all, we hope each and every single one of you had the most pleasant Spring Break.

Which brings us to the potentially dangerous topic we have been made aware of: the first warmer weeks of Spring bring (among other things) an increase in reproductory behaviour from Beast-Types and Plant-Types Mamonos, knowing this, we expect Demonic-Types to "play along" and every other Type to detect the increase of Mamono-Mana in the air.

As usual in case of "likely increase of promiscuous behaviour", we politely request every employee to do their best to stay productive during this out-of-our-control situation.

Married men and women, please, be considerate of your colleagues, their surroundings and their belongings; single women, please, do your best to not lose control; single men, we wish you the best of luck.

As usual: there are emergency shelters at the ready, please, for the security of our male staff, do not reveal their locations to any Mamonos, even married ones.

That is all, thank you for your attention.

Questions or suggestions? HR is always at your service to make the workplace safer.

>>348286

>Choir on speed-dial

Unless something goes south in a big way, their help shouldn't be needed before the lawyers and politicians get to discussing the matter openly. Once again. thank you for the help.

>>348312

I've set a couple drones to prep for the cable changeover when you're ready.

Herr Worthington, my folks and sister are still wanting to meet with you and get caught up on the status of prep for going to court over Maria's situation.

>>348286

>forcefully husbanded

Excellent. Maybe they'll mellow right the hell out.

>fatalities

Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I cannot find a single fuck within me to give.

>divine assistance

She tends to protect Her favored disciples over the rank-and-file. You're not wrong about the tantrums, though, and that tends to leak down to Her followers. Why do you think I know how to swear as well as I do? For that matter, why do you think they took the time to burn my house down?

<blasphemous

<you should have heard him on the phone

<never before have i heard a man be so offensive to a religious organization

<my favorite was "by illias's skidmarked panties"

>>348312

>here, have a free house

Dude, holy shit. I have no words.

I'm waiting on a call back on a nice little parcel of land - went ahead and dumped my old property, converted that gold you gave me to cash. 10kg of gold is going for around $400,000 and undeveloped land in the middle of nowhere is cheap as all hell.

Of course, this means I need to fast-track teleportation.

>>348326

>new version soon

Sounds good, looking forward to the results.

>>348336

>drones when ready

Thanks. I'll ping you when it's fifteen till time, as usual.

>>348343

>land parcel

Talk to Ada first, land costs are included in construction contracts.

>teleportation

Professor Jehuty will be here tomorrow evening to arrange your lessons for such a fast-track learning blitz. Expect a terminally-calm Cheshire in a green robe.

>>348326

>>348336

Kurt, get yer butt up to R&D and pick out a sleeve, we're trying this thing right now.

>>348356

Interesting note, Shu, when I cast that EM barrier earlier I was using mana, not Vis. Necessity and invention, et cetera.

>>348357

>new dreamlink feature

Well, I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

<Did Zuzi put in compensation for the sudden shift in center of gravity?

>mana not vis

That is pretty interesting, indeed. Frankly, I was wondering when you'd get to that, Vis is what Humans use primarily because we've got regenerating Spirit instead of the more naturally-malleable Mana. You might find casting a bit easier now.

<Kinda envious in a way. Not that I'm complaining, constantly-replenishing reserves are great, but Mana is just more suited for magic use straight off.

>>348357

Sorry about the delayed response, currently applying patches from yesterday's incident. The number of things that are broken by fixing those vulnerabilities is a massive pain. Be there as soon as possible, probably a couple hours.

>>348363

You realize that this will result in there temporarily being two of you, meaning you can get that done in half the time afterward, right?

>>348363

Let us know when you're done with the repairs, we'll hold off on the recabling until then.

>>348365

Software patches, don't want to hash out the authorization to operate from the sleeve as opposed to my terminal. Should be done in two hours based on current progress.

>>348366

Building B and C are already done, D in ~30 minutes.

>>348369

To clarify, you've completed the prep work for B and C to receive the new cables, or you've already installed them? Because if the former I can start switching them in immediately and get to D as your drones finish. I just wanted to make sure there was ample time for your end of things, thousands of "hands" makes light work.

>>348370

Software updates vulnerable to disruption from cable upgrades are completed in building B and C, D wrapping up.

>>348371

Understood, handling B and C now, will get D momentarily. Should take about ten minutes at most.

We have a kettle of the Lotus tea brewing, shall we have some delivered?

>>348360

HR politely reminds IT and all of its "accomplices" that removal of anything other than trash or kebab is to be handled by actual professionals.

You are also tasked to let anyone unable to read these e-mails understand their contents, any attempts at misinforming fellow employees or any armed but peaceful intruders will result in an internal inquiry and their consequences.

Finally, remember to not shoot at the face, you are allowed to defend yourself, your purity, sanity, belongings and colleagues, but try not to hurt the Mamono's feelings, we remind you that both sides of this incindent are merely experiencing a very uncomfortable cultural shock…

That is all, thank you for your attention.

HR is always listening to you to make the workplace safer for all.

>>348374

>Lotus Tea

Yes please.

About 45 minutes left for building A. Be heading to R&D afterwards.

Maintenance Bulletin:

The power and network systems upgrade to buildings B, C, and D has completed. Any issues should be reported to the Maintenance Department.

Finance, please see the forwarded details regarding our newly-acquired roughly five-hundred (500) percent surplus in electrical power, with an eye to selling excess as possible.

>>348377

Freshly brewed Lotus tea inbound.

<Hope you enjoy the mindsplit thing, outside the initial disorientation it's a blast.

>>348379

On phone, terminal crashed. Diagnosis and repair in progress, security patches delayed until repair complete unless another IT team member cares to complete.

>>348376

>>348360

On second thought, I'll handle it myself once terminal repair is complete. It seems my colleagues are distracted.

Tandy, after what happened recently we've set the Fields to give you and Maria direct access to Kurt's office. Run at any wall or fall down against any floor and you will be portaled immediately there. In the event you are unable - for instance if your sleeves were ever rendered immobile and stationary, and you couldn't afford to levitate or teleport on your own - flare your Mana as wastefully as possible and we will set the teleports manually.

>>348386

Hopefully what you've experienced is a simple technological hiccough and not a hazardous remnant of the previous event. If there's anything we need do, let us know through the standard channels; otherwise we will assume you know what you are doing and continue with prep for the morrow's overhauls. Our husband is currently entertaining the children, but if you require Wielder or Doll for anything we can bring him back in.

>>348386

Terminal repaired, patches applied, headed for R&D.

>>348397

PSU failure brought on by a short in the mainboard. Likely a result of the intensity of the EM activity yesterday. I'm forwarding the relevant information, if you could sweep for similar damage, I'd like to catch any further instances before they cost us more components.

>>348399

We've got the Lights scanning…rust but that's a lot of grime on that file, hope we d- scan's complete, sharply liking the new drones. There's five boxes with those damages and three with similar, one with loose components and another with a busted drive. We're getting the specific boxes' numbers and locations to you - all are in Building A, and fully half are in Finance.

And have fun!

>>348400

Thank heavens for little mercies.

Tee, Zuzi, I'm almost at R&D. Any suggestions on sleeves?

>>348401

You'll be the one wearing it. We've got all kinds up here, from standard testing sleeves to more experimental models. Though you might want to make sure you pick one that's been repaired since the EM attack. We've still got a whole bunch to fix.

>>348402

Right then, undamaged baseline model it is.

>>348403

I'll just hook one up to the new dreamlink, ready to jump in?

>>348404

Here we go.

>>348405

Just relax, this'll be disorienting. We're basically going to gently squish your spirit like a water balloon until part of it flows into the connected sleeve, and then compress it in between so your perception divides.

>>348400

Ro, I've put the little ones to bed - those stories were well chosen, I'll have to thank Gran - but Victoria's asking for you. I think she might be needing more raw steel for a bit of growth, but you'd know better than I on that matter.

>>348407

That's certainly a lot simpler of a process than what I went through. Cleaner, too.

<Never ceases to amaze me what tech is capable of these days.

>>348409

Well, we're basically replicating just one side effect of the things you've done. Of course, the forces you were under were a lot rougher and your link a lot more solid. And we wouldn't have the dreamlink tech without you.

>>348407

<"Desorientiert" meinen Arsch. "Desorientiert" beginnt nicht sogar, es zu bedecken.

In Englisch bitte, diese Aufzeichnungen sind nicht unsere persönlichen Notizen.

Feels a lot less strange for the part of me that stayed put than I expected.

<Of course it does, I'm the part that's in a different body.

No scheiße Sherlock, I made the comment for the sake of complete records.

<Movement is… Clumsy due to the shift in CoG, sensory perception seems to be translating well enough.

Lotus exercise routine to try and recalibrate?

<Lotus exercise routine to recalibrate.

Shura, just got off the horn with your sister. I cannot possibly thank you enough for that favor, man. I've basically got my dream home under construction on a beautiful parcel of land, literally for free. I don't have words.

And thus we return to work: I've got a lot of pissed off stores looking for replacements for their orders. Production's stonewalling me; does anyone have an ETA on when orders are going to get replaced? For that matter, I've been really vague regarding the cause of the shortages, what exactly can I mention regarding yesterday's events? Probably nothing, but if it stops me from getting yelled at over the phone I might as well ask.

>>348407

>insert husband into robot sleeve

Oh dear Ammit Janet's probably on her email-edit program right this minute.

<WE MUST DO THIS

<MAKE HIM A TINY SLEEVE SO WE CAN FUCK LIKE RABBITGIRLS

<NAME ME YOUR PRICE I WILL PAY IT

>>348412

The shipments were vandalized, were they not?

<Best to keep the cover story true to the best possible degree-

-less to remember that way.

That completing sentences trick is probably as hard as it was due to the degree of separation between perceptions.

>>348411

Now half of you knows how I felt getting out of that mana environment pod, the other half of you will know later.

>>348412

All it'll take is some modifications to the dreamlink unit you've already been using. And making a tiny sleeve will take hardly any materials at all. Heck, I can take a chunk of soulclay and fashion you one in no time. Just give me a sketch of what you want it to look like, and any special features you want included.

>>348414

<Motion seems calibrated, time to try something beyond basic movement.

Two sets of hands should make the repair work on those damaged stations go faster.

Seeing as this company has no ties to youtube, I'm going to say yes, we're ignoring it.

>>348412

Just be ready for Jehuty tomorrow. That teleportation training isn't going away any time soon.

<Seriously, it's like she's three Yodas and a Gandalf. She's nothing like the Frans, but she really loves playing up the role of old wise master teacher.

You'll learn to teleport and portalize like nobody's business.

<There's a HOLE in the SKY, through which things can FLYyyyy…

>>348414

>mana environment pod

<Wait, this is what that was like?

Why didn't I ever connect the dots…

>>348416

I think you see why even with the insanity of the initial situation I was reluctant to get rid of Dummy.

<Even before this new degree of division it was bloody useful having more eyes and hands.

The additional understanding from the new perspective doesn't hurt either.

<Seriously, even disregarding the new internal hardware the way the brain works means you look at things differently.

Just wait till you link back up.

<It's going to be ~fun~

It'll be a headache and a half, but nothing like a hangover, and it gets much easier with time.

<And then you'll realize how to use the sleeve's brain to eat digital media and read them to your own.

>>348413

>vandalized

Eh, works for me. I'd say something witty about your current situation, but I know where I'll be in a day or so, so…

>>348414

>sketch

You know what, if I'm going to be halfway fairy, I want some method of flight. Wings, jetpack backpack, whatever. Let Janet take care of whatever else she wants. Within reason, sweetheart.

<you will find a sketch in your email

<ill leave the really kinky stuff until one of us learns to soulclay

<no need to be like my colleagues in adverts who couldn't keep it in their panties

<i owe you SO MUCH for this tandy