>>335133 (OP)
I'm a fan of gentle femdom and gentle maledom. I'm not particularly an M or an S, but I can find both roles appealing.
Hardcore bondage has never really done it for me. It isn't strictly a turn-off but it isn't a turn-on either. I can completely understand the whole "trust" aspect to it all, but a lot of bondage stuff seems to fetishize the gear/leather itself. I can find very simple bondage arousing, where one party loses their ability to move unless released by their partner, but anything more than that and it almost always stops being a turn-on. I don't find the gear itself appealing like so many others seem to, so what I like can be done with a single rope.
The borderline torture aspect to hardcore domming is absolutely a turn-off for me. It's not the pain itself that I have a problem with though. Pain absolutely can be a turn-on if applied in the correct way, and while I don't find causing pain to be a turn-on, I CAN be turned on by the pleasure the partner is receiving from it. I've never experienced pleasurable pain, but I absolutely am able to imagine finding it appealing.
I used to have a serious problem with humiliation, but I'm a bit more neutral to it nowadays.
I'm finding it a bit hard to really describe where the line is for me. So I'll try to say this next part as simply as I can. Both parties have to enjoy it for me to be into it, though I'm not TOO picky as long as it doesn't actively hurt anyone when they don't want to be hurt.
Like I said, I prefer gentle femdom and gentle maledom. Though maybe "gentle" is the wrong word here. Maybe calling it loving femdom/maledom would be better.
As a bit of sidenote, I've started to hate what I've been calling "cold dom" where it's drawn like it's two strangers instead of close lovers. For like 90% of "cold dom" stuff the only parts that actually touch are their genitals. They don't hug, cuddle, or really do anything like lovers except "insert penis moan moan cum, the end." They'll usually kiss but it's only like once or twice and it feels like the people who made it only added it because they had to.
I hate that shit. I NEED more lovey-dovey stuff where they show physical affection for each other.
Take the pic I've used for this. This is super arousing for me because of what it implies between her and whoever she's holding it open for. You almost never actually see it.