/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

>>333734 (OP)

( >>333690 )

mods plz fix

You are at least correct when you put kikimoras above the filthy shoggoths however you seem to have mistakenly placed them below the number one slot.

>>333734 (OP)

>>333733

>designated waifu war thread

Surprised the kiki and shoggy alps haven't kicked off in here yet.

>>333744

Kikimoras seem to be the ideal house wife, so they scored big on wife material points. Additionally, they're loyal to and love for husbando, aren't what could be considered by most to be off putting and could be described as cuddly, and finally they don't force the husbando to do anything against their will as actively as most.

Shoggoths… I'll address this now. Shoggoths are exemplary for their utility and great number of functions: perhaps unsurpassed by any other single monster; however, the fact that they deceive their husbando into lewd acts (against his will/knowledge,) actively alter the biochemistry of their husbando (against his will/knowledge,) and are indeed eldtritch abominations takes off many points. I was indeed considering putting them closer to the mindflayer, but then I considered that while they're acting without permission and essentially sexually assaulting their husbando around the clock, there's not too much harm done.

>>333746

I sorted in reverse alphabetical order, and by the time I reached that Wan it was 4 am. I will likely be open to ranking advancement if I get suggestions.

>>333747

I have a good reason for the placement of the Dopple, I thought a lot about it, just give me a while to recall and type.

>>333748

I really really don't want to shit throw contest. I'm trying to be objective as possible. If it's any consolation to Shoggy lovers, they'll likely be in the same tier as Kikimoras if not very close.

>>333739

what are you talking about, living armor can actually have more combat ability since it can segment its armor and not get hit 5hink of monsoon, they can also change form and posses other pieces of armor so they wouldn't look out of place in modern times.

Also the familiar is a magic battery, they would be useful for magic casting monstergirls so anything that uses magic as a profession would consistently be paired up with one.

>>333750

you need to account for frequency in encounters, some monsters are pretty fucking rare, others are stationary some interact with humans. you kinda are fucking up hard here with your list.

frequent encounters may boost up the ranks.

>>333752

Dull scores higher than armor not because of superior combat ability, but because of their well superior wife ability. I don't disagree that living armor is probably the superior in tactical value.

>>333753

I don't understand why frequency of encounters matters. This is to determine the best waifu, not the best possible waifu over the variable time.

To be clear, it's

Waifu value = Score

Not

Waifu value / time required to obtain waifu = Score

>>333756

trying to find a waifu will affect the time to obtain it.

cmon man, you said it yourself.

a rare mg will be hard to find.

>>333759

So then would rarity affect the ranking of an mg?

>>333763

>Dops isn't really the "ideal girlfriend," but instead an imitation. Her very existence means there's an actual ideal girlfriend in existence that the husbando would rather have as what's closer to the ideal girlfriend, the actual ideal girlfriend or an imitation of her? Points subtracted for self-defeating mechanism.

Not so!

<However, their form is modified to be based on the memories and ideals of the man who was targeted. For example, even if the woman a man had feelings for was “nice on the surface, but malicious and scheming on the inside,” she becomes a woman matching the man’s ideal that is “pure and gentle, even in heart.” Also, since the doppelganger herself has feelings for the man, the reason they transform is “to become the man’s ideal woman so he can’t help but love her.” Most men aren’t able to resist the temptation of a doppelganger and they’ll have sex and release spirit energy on the spot when seduced. Even afterwards, they continue to be the man’s ideal lover and continue to offer love and pleasure to the man.

They have the power to be better than the original.

Also, they don't hijack your Waifu.

<Also, if it turns out that the man was mistaken in thinking that his love had been one-sided and it turns out that the real woman was actually fond of him, then when the woman catches sight of the doppelganger borrowing her form, from that moment onward, the woman who has the same form and the same feelings for the man, becomes joined to the doppelganger’s demonic energy.

Once joined through demonic energy, their thoughts, feelings and memories start linking and because of the doppelganger having sex with the man, the memories and pleasure of having sex flow directly into the woman's head. The more the doppelganger loves the man and seeks sex, the more the woman's love and passion for the man will rapidly swell. Since what the doppelganger transforms into is based not purely on the woman, but on the man's ideal of her, the woman linked will naturally change to become closer and closer to that ideal image. Eventually the woman becomes a monster exactly like the doppelganger and she'll head off to be with the man she loves and have him pour plenty of spirit energy inside in the same way as her other self.

Together with another monster that is an exact clone of herself, they go wild while having sex with their man. They freely offer twice the love and twice the pleasure.

>>333775

Forgive my lack of proofreading.

>We're going to conventional attractiveness or else we could be never get to the bottom of this as one could argue for subjective infinite beauty and break the scoring.

To

>We're going for conventional attractiveness or else we could never get to the bottom of this, as one could argue for infinite subjective beauty points and break the scoring.

Probably some other shit too, but I'm too lazy to read my own stuff! Sorry.

Pending rank changes.

Minus is good

Not going to bother with collateral rank changes.

Shoggoth: +6

Baphomet: -2

Undine: -15

Sylph: -15

Gnome: -15

Mothman: +3

Jabberwock: +2

Wyvern: -1

Alice: +36

Mershark: +2

Black Harpy: +2

Scylla: +10

Crow Tengu: -30

Trumpart: -2

Leanan Sidhe: -20

Medusa: +32

Arch Imp: -8

Doppelganger: +40

Vamp Mosquito: -7

Cheshire Cat: -104

https://pastebin.com/bGeF1gPu

>>333784

also mad hatters can control their spores and actually make hats usable by men. they have place in society, you bought into the meme.

>>333785

Being a red blooded paladin, I find it hard to objectively place the angels. I've already admitted this and asked for help placing them accurately.

>>333787

anything that has to do with bossy deities is going to be low, they cause conflicts, put them closer towards the pharoh or anubis. i

>>333787

also the baphomets and demons would be known to give you what you want if you give them what they seek. they have more worldly powers and less esoteric stuff like the valkrie.

The valkrie will lower your ability to live a comfy life, while demons and baphomets and sabbath keep to themselves in familiar places.

the most you can expect from angels is living in a barebones monastary, because they can smell the evil from people and anything not seeking a lecture is going to leave them alone.

>>333786

Mad Hatters aren't low just because of spore production, they're low for an entire plethora of reasons. Mainly their parasitical and homicidal nature. The mushrooms themselves are the monster species, the woman body is the unwilling host or rather the corpse of the host. I can explain more if you would like, but I really think that's enough to warrant burning.

>>333789

>>333790

I suppose getting her husbando into fights would be a negative, even if she prepared him for said fights… Hmm…

I'm kind of surprised that Yeti ranks so far down on the list. I get that they probably lose some points for not being total combat machines or magical prodigies, but they would have to rank fairly high in the personality and "waifu material" categories. Is a Yeti really that much lower tier than, say, a Jubjub?

>>333784

Can you tell me your ranking reason for the Baphomet? If it were just power she would be at the top but since it's based more on objective appeal it's different. Her entry even states she's both "the physically strongest and best vagina of all monsters" and she's even great at magic too. But like I said, this is less power and more appeal based ranking. Also I don't think a list like this is the best, cause everyone's gonna wanna put their waifu at the top, and it's only a matter of time till this just devolves into a waifu war.

>>333774

They don't mesh with the doppelganger. read it again. They share an empathetic link if, and only if it turns out the girl actually liked you.

>>333792

they have no homicidal nature, they just make hats and put messages in them and if human males have those hats put on their heads then it turns into a normal hat. The hat itself doesn't affect monstergirls.

Put away those grimdark goggles away, if your description were the case then mad hatters would openly be merging with other mg species.

>>333793

You're right, Yeti deserves more love as she's quite helpful on top of what you've said. Let me take her out of the 'detrimentals.' Though I'm not sure if her level of loyalty is high enough to advance her further. Could you make a case for a high positon next to Jubjubs and the like? Of which I consider to be near the max levels of devotion/obsession of a husbando.

Yeti: -36

>>333794

Baphomet is so high because of her powers, but she isn't at the tip because of low wife material quality. She strikes me of the type that's too devoted to their career to be devoted to her husbando; never the less, I still think her husbando would be happy, just not getting the same level of attention as say a husbando of a Ryu. Though my only evidence of this is how little the Baph entry describes her relationship with her husbando and more about her relationship with the church and related. Tell me if you want more explanation.

>>333796

Ah, my mistake. I apologize, I read it as they merge.

Still, it's a forced intrusion into the relation of the husbando and the husbando's actual love through parasitical piggy backing off of the actual waifu. Tell me if you want more explanation.

>>333797

"When a human woman puts them on, the mushroom spreads its roots into her head and parasitically infects her, sending a huge amount of spores inside her head and making it full of mushroom."

Anon… What do you think happens when a parasitical mushroom attaches itself to your scalp and injects spores into your brain and subsequently uses your brain as food to grow mushrooms? Do you think you live? Probably not.

>>333795

>Given her alien origin she likely just accepts this as normal and thinks absolutely nothing of it.

Yeah that's sorta what I'm saying; she thinks deceiving and trickery is acceptable, that's why she's lower.

>serving

She's not really serving the husbando when she's, in reality, sexually assaulting the husbando. Really just serving herself at that point.

>Are you comparing the robbing of your first kiss or virginity to something pertaining to another person that is intentionally doing it?

I'm saying that she's robbing the husbando of all these experiences, and he doesn't even realize what's going on or even get the chance to enjoy it.

>Do you imagine a slime that came about by eldritch means dying of simply old age?

>imagine

So it's head cannon. Thought so.

>You seem to assume that a shoggoth doesn’t address anything about itself when it introduces its services.

True, but it's quite implied that they don't inform their master much through their "quiet personalities" and "vibe of purity" descriptions.

Oh she doesn't tell her husbando much about her clitirous silverware because she's quiet you see, oh that's not normal? Oops, she's not from around here. Her purity aura helps pull off this deception as well, as one would be less likely to suspect someone that's pure of trying to pull this on their unsuspecting husbando. Without the deceptive behaviors, the purity aura wouldn't be necessary or included.

But even if they informed their husbando of their erogenous flesh, it's not like they give them a choice in the matter: "They mostly obey their master's commands, but if he should refuse their service, they would not have any of it."

>do you really think people would be weirded out by giant black amorphous tentacle blobs covered in eyes and huge gaping tongues?

Yes.

>Do you scream furry when you see a kobold’s or a kitsune’s tails?

No. See Cu Sith position.

>Knight of Pelor

It supplements the unviolated hero theme of paladinship.

>gay

Being violated is to be acted upon, to be dominated.

Violating others is to act upon others, to dominate.

If anything, being violated is feminine and gay for males while being unviolated and violating others is masculine and heterosexual for males.

I think most of these points are no longer able to be contended except maybe whether or not the husbando is informed on the nature of Shog's erogenous zones. Which I'm willing to bet, based off her personality and natural toolset, it's normal for shog not to inform the husbando of its nature until perhaps after the fact.

Valkyrie: +20

Houri: +20

Cupid: +20

Angel: +20

>>333805

Yes yes, I agree.

See OP for my idea.

>The end goal is to end up with a conventional tier system (S+, S, S-, A+, A, A-, … F+, F, F-) with as many tiers that are required to separate and distinguish each class of waifu from one another while still providing some level of obfuscation when it comes down to really close decisions. So that's the next goal after the exact ranking positions are nailed down. That process I'm guessing will involve just negotiating the cut off lines for each tier.

Right now the ranks are just trying to get as close as possible before bias rips everything to shreds. In the end there will be tiers in whatever number we need to group together all the monsters where they belong respectfully.

>>333807

Forgot the link to the latest listing.

https://pastebin.com/YTZmZPcM

Pharaoh is at the top now apparently?

They do have great strategic value and the charisma of a leader… Hm… What do you guys think of this?

>>333814

Strategic value adds to the worth of a waifu greatly as it adds to the power of the husbando indirectly. Just another way to describe their scope of power.

Also, I think it's important to look at the OP. This is technically a category like what you described, but a very mishmashed one based off of but not limited to: "Attractiveness, social status, economic status, strategic value, tactical value, utility, practical applications, "wife" materialness, magical ability, general productivity, efficiency of return of time investment, love for husbando, lust for husbando, loyalty to husbando, popularity of fetishes, and, " OTHER. It's really not as subjective as you guys are making it out to be. And don't mind the amount of times I use arbitrary in OP.

I think I'm going to draw up some tiers here soon.

>>333775

>wanting your waifu to suffer alone in the universe after you die

>I've seen this said often, that the slimification turns the husbando immortal, but I don't see where this is stated… Citation please?

The best citation for this is incubization. When you go full incubus, you gain the ability to sustain yourself entirely on your partner's energy. Her demonic energy is poured into you, your spirit energy production increases dramatically in response, you pour spirit energy into her, she converts it into more demonic energy, the total energy increases, and the whole cycle can continue indefinitely until one of you dies. That's how the Demon Lord and the Hero are trying to supercharge their energy high enough to undo the laws of reality preventing incubus sons. So in other words, a man who incubizes will have his lifespan extended to match his partner's. And Shogs, if not immortal, probably live for a very, very long time.

>>333803

>Could you make a case for a high positon next to Jubjubs and the like? Of which I consider to be near the max levels of devotion/obsession of a husbando.

I could, though I'm not really sure if I even want to dignify this list, in its current form, with a 'sperged out thesis in defense of the Yeti or several other mamonos who I think were criminally underranked.

>>333805

I much rather like the idea of this kind of tier list, with equality within tiers and only a few, broad categories. I mean, I think we can all agree that a KC Matango is in the the "No, just… no" tier. Vamp Mosquito might go there, too. But trying to assign numbered ranks or grades to mamonos feels like stepping on a lot of guys toes… and hopes, and dreams.

Here's what I'm getting at. I like more docile mamonos. My waifu is someone that I can let my guard down around when I get home from a long day fighting other battles at work. There's no jockeying for dominance, because our relationship is a cooperative game, not a competitive one. We might as well be sharing health and mana bars, so to speak. She would never get aggressively "proactive" with me and I would never bully her. And most mamonos would be unbearably envious of the mutual love the two of us express behind closed doors, or even just walking down the street.

But some guys like a spicier relationship. They would rather be dominated by hellhounds or hunted by manticores. I don't get it, personally, but I'm not going to shit on it, either. Some guys go for lolis (no comment) and other for ara ara. There's a lot of room for subjective taste here.

>>333814

>Why the hell do people care about 'strategic value'? Is this for an Age of Empires mod? Are we Pokemon trainers now? Is this the new list for the Draft?

Agreed. I mean, I see where that can factor into waifu choice for some people, but then there are plenty who would not care whether their waifu ran a kingdom or a household as long as they got to be with them.

>>333823

>>333825

I still think it would be better to start simple, with >>333805's categories:

>3. irredeemable

(Matango, go and stay go)

>2. waifu material, but with caveats

(Are you bothered by the fact that she is an eldritch abomination? Do you think her teasing, capriciousness, and memefaggotry will drive you mad? Do needles and/or venoms scare you? And, dare I say it, are you turned off by Horse. Pussy.? (I've read the MGE on that, I know about the other detail, before anyone jumps in)

If not then she might be waifu material for you. Just remember, you signed up for this. (Sadly, I think nearly all non-humanoid mamono would wind up in this category, if only for the extra considerations needed for their size, shape, and/or mass when it comes to housing, transportation, and other aspects of daily life)

>1. waifu material without caveats

It would be hard for anyone to argue that these girls would not make a fine waifu for someone out there, without reservation. They aren't necessarily better than the girls in tier 2, but they lack any qualities that could cause many to have second thoughts or could introduce additional complications to the relationship. If you are worried about having her meet your parents, you might be better off with a girl from tier 1, or maybe it doesn't matter.

>>333825

"Who would win a war?" is a very different question from "Who would make the best waifu?"

>>333847

I know.

>>333807

you still haven't learned, a peaceful life is not possible with angels, you're going to have to fight and listen to their whims in order to keep on getting their affection.

Oomukade is best bug SSS tier. Everybody else goes in the trash.

Except angels and zombies those go in the furnace with the rest of the shit i was too lazy to buy a hazmat container for.

>>333734 (OP)

>manticore below danuki

Are you a fucking idiot

>>333855

If the husbando wants to have a peaceful life with an angel, it's entirely possible, I don't know what makes you think otherwise.

>>333925

The millipede lady actively poisons her husbando. That's the absolute of what a good waifu should do! Also she's creepy as fuck dude. Ask for more explanation.

>>333936

Manticore is a generally all around abusive and uncaring waifu, but she isnt at the bottom because she is indeed a strong waifu who would probably protect her husbando, even if at a basic protecting property level.

Danuki in the other hand, while initially manipulative, brings extreme wealth to the husbando and would allow for a great family life and such. AFME.

>>333935

I can't wait. I'm just going to keep going until I can't logically move any monsters around any more.

>>333944

SHE'S A CENTIPEDE YOU IGNORANT NIGGER.

also the poison isnt deadly it just makes whatever part of your body she injects it into completely paralysed and filled with pleasure. she's not even creepy dude just incredibly possessive lives under rocks. overall incredibly top tier among the aggressive waifus. also danuki a shit. you only want her cuz shes rich.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>333948

*and lives under rocks.

fuck it i challenge you to a duel nobody talks shit about my waifu like that and gets away with it. lets roll

o-oh…uh i'm sorry danuki guy i guess your waifu isn't shit. i'll uh go back to lurking while i cry about not being good enough for my waifu i guess.

I still want to know why you put onis so low.

>>333952

Waifu material, a drunkard does not make.

>>333952

childhood trauma

>>333944

look buddy in mge the angels and valkries get disposable heroes, the chief god's lineage was okay with humans being guro victims. DE has not changed her or her ilk. One of the only ways to stop the angels from sending you into suicide missions is to either tell them to fuck off, convince them that their loyalty and faith towards the chief god is false (which destroys the point of angels and makes them fall and turns them more passive)

The relationships you have with these things gets you henpecked or shoved in conflicts made from the desperate cheif god, atleast other Mg's recognize sooner or later that you're the man in the relationship.

>>333966

>being guro victims

Are you still spouting that nonsense

>>333970

culling the human race to stay relevant to them is kinda fucking evil, unless you want to continuously get cucked by the chief god.

>>333936

>>333944

>>333945

>>333948

>>333950

This is why I was hesitant to jump to the defense of several of the inexplicably low ranked mamonos. It's just going to turn into an autistic slap fight. Also because I still can't tell if OP is looking for someone to cuddle with on the couch during a light rain storm or someone to conquer a continent with. The latter might explain why the Wurm is so high up there. I mean, they are ridiculously strong and durable, sure, but they are also dumb as rocks.

>>333981

As stated in the OP, it's an arbitrary mixture of all the objectively positive traits of the monster. For example, having great political power is a plus on top of being a good wife, and while being injected with poison could indeed be attractive to some, it's objectively nonbeneficiary to the husbando.

Recently I've begun to doubt some monsters rankings and become to see more and more of them as not having their husbando's best interests at heart. For example the Queen Slime, they seem to treat their husbando as only prey or a source of good above all else. More consideration must be taken I think.

adfa