>Be me
>Gonna go camping
>Make sure to have basic essentials, tent, first aid kit, lamp, flashlight, rope, food, water and a joke book
>Feels nice to get away from the hum-drum of society
>Hear bush rustling
>Out comes a bear girl wearing a green hat and tie
<"Give me your picnic basket if you know what's good for ya"
>She pulls out a switch blade and presses down on the button releasing the blade with a *snikt*
>Why the fuck does she need a switch blade if she has claws? Ehhhh, who cares
>Fucking monster girl bandits stealing my shit again. First they took my dad, now they're trying to take my lunch
>Grab black pepper and throw it in her face
>She starts sneezing uncontrollably
>Grab rope and put that 10th grade bdsm class to good use
>Once she's completely tied up I prop her against a tree
>Hmmmmmmmm… What to do with her?
>Like that one time when I gave that raiju a wet willy, I light up. But not in painful muscle spasms and incontinence this time, but in a great idea
>I grab my joke book and turn to bear puns
"So let me get my bearings you just tried to rob me and didn't even bearly succeed. I bet you can't even bear what I'm going to do with you"
<"Fuck you, once I snap these ropes I'll snap your pelvis"
>She continues to struggle but to no avail
"Come on, no reason to act so barbearic besides once you get used to me, I'm sure I'll become bearable"
<"Would you just shut up! I swear on the demon lord I'll beary you alive"
<"NO NOW I'M DOING IT"
"What? There's no reason to act so embearassed"
>She's starting to cry now
"Why are you crying? It's not that grizzly. would some freshly picked bearies make you feel better?"
>She's bawling her eyes out at this point
"Crying just like a cub. Mama bear would find this unbearable"
>She throws herself to the ground and starts to inch away like a caterpillar
"You think I'm going to let you get a away that easy? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'll follow you bearfoot if I have too."
>Through the rest of the night I stalk her while spouting out bear puns till she collapses from pun overdose
>Satisfied with my work and knowing she'll never assassult another camper, lest she face the wrath of my puns again, I turn around to see that I am utterly lost
>Thus I became Pun-Man and roamed the forest delivering pun-themed JUSTICE to those that would ransack happy campers