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/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

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1133c7 (1) No.315083>>315091 >>315092 >>315097 >>315101 >>315103 >>315119 >>315125 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]

>"Hello adventurer, welcome to my workshop. My name is Cidney, I am the world's greatest engineer. Is there anything you need here?"

92ffd1 (2) No.315088

I need sum fuk from that puffy gremlin vulva


9634b0 (1) No.315089>>315093

I need you to keep that robot tentacle as far away from my butthole as is humanly possible


51b21b (1) No.315091

File (hide): 1968a80dd850e13⋯.gif (351.72 KB, 458x480, 229:240, IMG_1941.GIF) (h) (u)

>>315083 (OP)

01000010 01100101 01100111 01101111 01101110 01100101 00101100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001111 01010100


672720 (1) No.315092

File (hide): 27b29ff3dd8c5a1⋯.jpeg (386.1 KB, 905x1280, 181:256, 30f34ee0c0c383006c0dd9c34….jpeg) (h) (u)

>>315083 (OP)

Can you make me rape accessible power armor?


c1866d (1) No.315093>>315184

>>315089

Does someone have the gremlin version of this?


befb8a (1) No.315094

I'd like one Turbo Encabulator, please


260ef7 (1) No.315097

>>315083 (OP)

Build me a waifu to surpass Metal Gear.


d1e9ed (1) No.315098

Be my waifu


59de1e (2) No.315101

File (hide): a7092e856702435⋯.jpg (57.8 KB, 468x309, 156:103, image.jpg) (h) (u)

File (hide): 92abebac0f35bf3⋯.jpg (43.75 KB, 650x329, 650:329, image.jpg) (h) (u)

File (hide): d67a874fb20b485⋯.jpg (29.45 KB, 600x224, 75:28, image.jpg) (h) (u)

>>315083 (OP)

Make a gun that's a mash up between the G11 and a couple of Korobov's designs. Except with more complex and/or autistic internals.


1ec7a2 (1) No.315103

>>315083 (OP)

Show me an Artificial Intelligence capable of consciousness, free will, and self-determination.


dd3425 (1) No.315112

Y-you.


0a875f (1) No.315118

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>the world's greatest engineer.


af303e (2) No.315119>>315184

File (hide): 0261709e816f2fb⋯.jpg (376.06 KB, 701x1200, 701:1200, Automaton0.jpg) (h) (u)

>>315083 (OP)

Reminder that she's being held by Automaton. Nothing wrong about that, mentioning it just in case some people are still missing it.


42c34e (1) No.315125

>>315083 (OP)

I'm here to pick up that automatic still I ordered for my wife's birthday gift.


fd7af8 (1) No.315184

File (hide): d425019c26226f4⋯.png (551.27 KB, 844x352, 211:88, 1471276238648.png) (h) (u)

>>315093

Here ya go!

>>315119

She's not being held by an automaton, those arms are attached to her jetpack. They only look the same because they're the same technology.


e76387 (4) No.315201>>315202

You guys want a quick story about a 40k playing cop and his Gremlin Waifu?


92ffd1 (2) No.315202

>>315201

Sure, go ahead.


e76387 (4) No.315208>>315210 >>315213 >>315218 >>315221 >>315227

>Woke up in some odd chair, restrained to it I may add. And then my senses were assaulted by everything. The glaring light, the high pitch screams of equipment.

>Shout "Genni!" and my wife hops on to my now massive lap. "What is going on?"

>"You're a space marine now!" My bubble of love and tinkering said as she pressed a button on her bracer. The restraints released and I was then hugged by my 4 foot 6 inch cuddle toy.

>"But why?" I asked as I tried to come to grips with it all.

>"How else are you supposed to fit in the Mk 6 power armor and use the Bolter?" She asked, pressing another button. In turn, a massive cabinet on the other side of the room, popped open. Once the grey mist dissipated from the interior, a set of grey Beakie armor was revealed, along with a stocked Bolter rifle.

>"But why?" I ask again, stunned at the armor and weapon.

>"This way you can handle ten tonne threats, you don't have to wait for special containment teams whenever an Ushi gets too close to a middle school." My wife beamed as she hopped off my lap.

>"C'mon!" She encouraged as we walked over to the cabinet.

>I grabbed the Bolter and it felt like a Saiga 12 in weight and distribution.

>"Balanced just like Tina so it won't be too difficult to get use to." She explained before opening a small crate on the ground.

>"Optics, suppressors, mags, "flare launcher", flashlight, visible/IR/UV laser.

>Look down at her. "The Chief will not let me use this stuff."

>"Who do you think gave me the go ahead?" She asked before opening a longer box revealing an Astartes shotgun.

>"I'm so using Smashfucker on her, next game." I curse, leading my wife to laugh.

>"C'mon, get suited up, lets go to the range!"

>Look over and see a very large box in the corner of the room. "What's in that?"

>Genni looks over nervously at the box. "I need to work on that one more."

>"What is it?" I ask as I start walking over to it.

>Genni quickly stands before me and the box. "Don't open it!"

>Genni hated when I fiddled with her "incomplete" prototypes. By incomplete, she means not perfect and not ready for the light of day.

>When I opened the box, waifu under my left arm, kicking and screaming in embarrasment, I found a Tau Rail rifle, sized for an Astartes.

>I picked it up with my free hand and inspected it. "Why is it not done, does it fire?"

>"Yeah it fires!" She shouted indignantly. "Its just not getting mach 5 like I wanted."

>"Have you thought of painting it red?"

May continue if people like.


59de1e (2) No.315210>>315229

>>315208

>beakie armor

Continue


af303e (2) No.315213>>315229

File (hide): 4280bda6e3c522c⋯.jpg (105.63 KB, 838x911, 838:911, Marine is enjoying this.jpg) (h) (u)


b2af1d (1) No.315218>>315229

File (hide): e202103a4415a6a⋯.png (435.12 KB, 819x975, 21:25, 1482925376786.png) (h) (u)

>>315208

>Tau rail rifle

>Not superior phased plasma rifle

01001001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01110010 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110000 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01110101 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011


193dd1 (1) No.315221>>315229

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

d51019 (1) No.315227

File (hide): 326c56433f41498⋯.jpg (807.81 KB, 921x1682, 921:1682, tumblr_nlbammJvzO1u19hiso1….jpg) (h) (u)

>>315208

What? No chain or power sword?


e76387 (4) No.315229>>315358 >>315398

>>315213

>>315210

>>315218

>>315221

Total 40k noob so please excuse minor heresy. Tau Rail rifles are the only good to come out of the Tau empire.

>Waifu leads me out of the workshop and parked outside is a fucking land raider. Painted black and white and a light bar went across the top.

>"Shotgun!" She shouts as she runs to the tank.

>The autopilot drove us to the police range, parked itself and opened the door.

>Half of the cops had their guns drawn, the other half had them on me. Take off helmet and then the laughter comes.

>"SHE ACTUALLY DID IT! CHIEF SAID GENNI WAS GONNA BUT SHE ACTUALLY DID!" Kim, the only Ushi-oni on the force shouted while holding her stomach.

>"Yeah, also got some new toys!" I exclaimed as I quickly jogged to the range, throwing my Beakie helmet back on. My steps shaking the ground as I ignored the hot range, set up a barrel and ran back.

>"GOING HOT!" I shouted into the vox as I racked the Bolter.

>When I pulled that trigger, I decided to treat my wife to the greatest pampering ever. Head pats while she is sitting in my lap, watching how its made and feeding her cool ranch Doritos.

>"BY THE EMPEROR!" I shouted as I felt the recoil push into my shoulder and watched the barrel's backside explode, the round embedded itself in the backstop and blew a two foot wide hole.

>"TRY FULL AUTO SWEETY!" Genni shouted as she loaded more Bolts into mags.

>I flicked the selector and began raining .75 caliber hell into the barrel/backstop.

>The mag quickly ran out, I lifted the bolter up, resting the stock against my bicep as I inspected it.

>"I'm gonna go wild pig hunting with this."

>"Wanna try the less than lethal rubber rounds?"

>"You mean less lethal."

>"I know what I said honey." She told me with a smug look. "These rounds cannot kill a human out side of repeated shots, since the Bolter is mechanically driven, it can fire ultra low velocity rubber slugs at the same rate as with regular bolts."

>"Neat!" Kim interjected, I'll go down range and you take some shots!"

>Did I forget to mention Kim was fucking crazy?

>Before I could say no, she ran down the hot range. "GO AHEAD!"

>I looked down at Genni and she just smiled. "Didn't say the Bolter's targeting systems tailor the amount of powder burnt based on the mass of the target."

>"Oh you evil little glitch." I said as sweetly as the vox would allow.

>I then lined up Kim's center of mass and fired.

>Never seen an Ushi go down in one shot unless it was from a 20mm anti material rifle with incendiary rounds. But Kim hit the ground clutching the hit stomach, before crawling back to the firing line.

>"Shotgun time!" Genni announced as she pointed to the shotgun she could not pick up. "6 gauge, action taken from the KS-23, 10 shot tube mag with normal full power AP rounds or 20 "low brass" soft lead slugs or 0000 buck.

>I racked the massive shotgun and inspected the chamber I grabbed a round and dropped it on the lifter, racking it close I swear I came a little. A glass on glass smooth action.

>I shouldered the shotgun and fired. I was rewarded by a hard kick and the remains of the poor barrel had a new gaping hole.

>After loading the tube and racking it, I nodded to my wife as she started throwing clays in the air with one of her contraptions. Soon one became two then three then five. Each clay exploding well before it reached its apex.

>"Okay, Rail Rifle time!" I shouted as I ran to the tactical range, grabbed a junker car used for classes and ran it down the distance range. 800 meters away, I dropped it and ran back at 20 miles an hour.

>As I got back to the fireline, my wife was tapping away at her laptop connected to the Rail Rifle, that funnily enough had a fresh coat of red paint on it.

>"Its ready to test." She announced meekly, no smug face as she played with the sensors she set up to measure the rifle's speed.

>"Its gonna work glitch." I told her before picking her up and hugging her gently.

>"Thank you honey." She told me before that smug smile began creeping up.

>I set her down, took the Rail Rifle in my grip and went prone.

>"Optics are zeroed at 1600, depress the trigger slightly to zero it on the target."

>I followed her directions and found the crosshair hardly even moved down and to the left. As I pulled the trigger I felt a massive kick to my shoulder, by I was able to keep my concentration on the junker's slagged engine sitting twenty or so feet away from the heap.

>"Speed?" I asked, praying that it did what it should.

>"MACH 6.5?" Genni shouted in surprise before jumping up and down in triumph.


0402ce (1) No.315358>>315408

>>315229

Go on…


45070b (1) No.315398>>315408 >>315445

>>315229

I'm torn.

Whilst it's a proven mechanical fact that red goes faster, it's also proven that yellow guns are shootier… not sure what would be better in this scenario.


e76387 (4) No.315408

>>315398

>>315358

Will post another bit tonight. Glad you guys are liking it.

Also, polite sage.


17b9c1 (1) No.315445>>315473

>>315398

What if it's orange? you get the shootier-ness of yellow and the speediness of red


0be502 (1) No.315473

>>315445

Red and yellow patterning like a snake that could fuck you up is clearly the optimal choice here.




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