>Be me
>Evil warlock
>gonna summon a succubus for that sweet demon pussy
>get the summoning circle ready
>step 1: draw pentagram
>step 2: place vial of human "essence"
>step 3: drop of human blood
>step 4: utter the incantation
>klaatu
>varada
>nickle, nectar, noodle?
>forgot the last word of the incantation
>while pacing around the room trying to recall the last word
>trip over sconce sending flaming coals and ash everywhere
>remember the last word
>NIKTO
>summoning circle bursts into flaming tornado before exploding outwards and lighting my room on fire
>luckily I always rub thermal paste into my clothes everyday in preparation of this
>room is a utter hellscape by this point
>lava flows freely, ash and volcanic glass are more prevalent than oxygen, my mother is calling me demanding to know why the front yard has fissures that lead straight to hell and why I didn't buy creamer while I was out doing shopping
>red portal opens up where my summoning circle was
>can hear the screams of the damned pouring out of it
>everything goes quiet besides the crackling of fire on wood and my mother's yelling
>female figure steps out of the hellish portal
>I mean, I know some succubi are the eccentric type but this is a little much
>wait that's no succubus
WAS IT YOU WHO SUMMONED ME HUMAN
>realize I just brought forth Diablo from the burning hells
>just nod yes and decide to go along with it
GOOD, I OFFER YOU THE CHANCE TO RECLAIM THE DEMON LORDS THRONE AND RULE AT MY SIDE
>y-yeah s-sure
THEN WE MUST CONSUMMATE OUR PACT
>w-wait consummate?
>after many hours of and sessions of making sure our agreement is properly "ordained"
>my pelvis aches, my skin is itching from the glass and I'm starting to run out of burn ointment for my unmentionables
>she decides on taking me back to hell so that we might devise a plan to better obtain the throne from the demon lord
>that was 10 years ago and every time I ask her when we're going to "reclaim the throne" she just brushes it off and tells me after our next child
>as much as I love our daughterus I always think back to that fateful day and if I remembered to delete my search history