I keep getting thoughts when I'm around friends or family where I just picture myself hitting them with a rock or whatever in my hand or just committing murder. For example I was working with my friend and her father and when I was putting the hammer in th

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File: a2d41e94fef1897⋯.jpg (104.23 KB, 697x800, 697:800, hologasm.jpg)

Sad Soul 09/03/18 (Mon) 13:48:03 No.14360

I keep getting thoughts when I'm around friends or family where I just picture myself hitting them with a rock or whatever in my hand or just committing murder. For example I was working with my friend and her father and when I was putting the hammer in the back of the van I pictured myself striking her with it. Just last night I imagined myself raping someone while my entire family watched. I don't feel bad about these thoughts, whatever I got diagnosed with as a child means I suck with empathy/sympathy (I think it was aspergers but I'm really social, so this doesn't add up) so I'm just wondering if this could be any underlying issues that I should get checked up or maybe I'm just a little fucked.

Sad Soul 09/03/18 (Mon) 15:13:37 No.14361

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Try taking this test and post results. http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality%5Fdisorder%5Ftest.mv

Do you have a history of being exposed to violence? Do you play a lot of video games and at what age did you begin playing them? How old are you now? Do you exhibit genuine emotions when socializing or do you emulate the emotional responses you are expected to convey?

Sad Soul 09/03/18 (Mon) 15:47:31 No.14363

File: 4241b7ebfb9c537⋯.png (352.52 KB, 1360x768, 85:48, results.png)

>>14361

I'm assuming this is something I should be concerned about.

I grew up with a father who was addicted to drugs, when I was four he got drunk and tried to attack me and my mother he was arrested and I haven't seen him since. My mother and my brother fought a lot growing up, I'd often get in the middle and one of them would commonly hit me out of frustration. I guess you could call that a neglectful childhood but I've never been sad about it, but throughout school I found myself arguing or trying to provoke other people to fight or argue back. Once the police even got called in because I tried to make everyone think a dude I didn't like raped his brother through a fake facebook page impersonating him.

I can be excited or happy around people, but never because those people are there I generally feel happy when people just pay attention to me and I'll admit I get pissed off when people turn their attention to someone who isn't me. In terms of emulating emotions the only ones I have to fake is empathy, sympathy and general feeling of care towards other because I genuinely don't care how anyone else feels.

Sad Soul 09/03/18 (Mon) 22:50:28 No.14365

>>14361

What do you think is the issue?

I don't really want to go to a therapist because they never take me seriously or actually listen

Sad Soul 09/04/18 (Tue) 22:23:21 No.14366

>>14365

Your unstable upbringing has effected epigenetic changes that that have basically switched off your capacity to empathize with others as a survival mechanism. The public school system is designed to induce schizoid/autistic and OCD symptoms in men. Your histrionic tendencies and narcissism are probably the result of an inferiority complex. Borderline symptoms are commonly found in people with with a history of being abused and/or abandoned by parents or other trusted individuals. It is also likely that your symptoms are being exacerbated further by poor diet and inflammation caused by free radicals that have become a sever problem in first world countries. If you just look up the different additives and preservatives in processed foods you will find reason to change your diet. reducing inflammation and eating a healthy diet will help you deal with your symptoms. the right strain of cannabis can also help you draw out your sense of empathy as well am MDMA in a safe dose. Do not use them as a crutch though. Finding a decent therapist can be difficult with all the dupes being manufactured by the universities but there are good one out there if you keep trying different ones. Just don't go to a psychiatrist unless your symptoms really get out of control. Read through the regenerative medicine thread and start make sure you start with a strong multivitamin along with Iodine and multiple antioxidants. Also I suggest you download redshift or flux on your computer so you can reduce the strain on your eyes and prevent disruptions to your circadian rhythm.

Sad Soul 09/04/18 (Tue) 23:50:16 No.14367

File: ec10c7e93704a1a⋯.png (57.83 KB, 553x421, 553:421, lol.png)

>>14361

howd i do? didi I pass?

Sad Soul 09/05/18 (Wed) 03:31:48 No.14371

>>14366

OP here on a differerent PC

thanks, I'll keep that in mind and see what I can do in terms of your reccomended treatment

Sad Soul 09/11/18 (Tue) 06:26:28 No.14380

>>14360

If the thoughts cause you discomfort, it seems to me that these could be obsessive/intrusive thoughts caused by OCD. The probability of this being a symptom of OCD increases if you have any other type of anxiety disorder.

Sad Soul 09/16/18 (Sun) 15:10:47 No.14411

>>14360

Common intrusive thoughts. Can get pretty painful but if you are fine with them it's okay isn't it.

Anonymood 09/30/18 (Sun) 03:05:17 No.14627

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Anonymood 10/01/18 (Mon) 17:41:42 No.14643

>>14360

An intrusive thought is an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate.[1] When such thoughts are associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression, body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), and sometimes attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), the thoughts may become paralyzing, anxiety-provoking, or persistent. Intrusive thoughts may also be associated with episodic memory, unwanted worries or memories from OCD,[2] posttraumatic stress disorder, other anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or psychosis.[3] Intrusive thoughts, urges, and images are of inappropriate things at inappropriate times, and generally have aggressive, sexual, or blasphemous themes.[4]