Hello
First I´m sorry for my english….
One of my so called therapist told me 1 week ago that she and the rest of her team think that I have many Personalitys.
I have bad issuses to accept that. Yes sure sometimes I dissociate and I know that there are parts of me that I can´t control and can´t remember some actions of me. Especially if my aggressive Part is there. It is unstoppable. Few times I got some issued with the police and fought with them, but I can´t remember.
I have some "commentators" in my head that sometimes takes my body and do what they want and think. Nearly all of them are very rude to my body. I self harm on different ways and had a lot of suicide attempts. I am diagnosed with BPD and Depression. My Parts inside of me often know what the acting one is doing and thinking so they can comment it. If one of them is too triggered it´s coming out and take control.
I can´t remember what happened to the age of 11. Mmmmh I can remember some situations and the feelings, but not the faces and persons.
At the Moment my feelings switch a lot between suicide attempts, destruction/depression and "it can get better"-Mode.
I tryed a lot of different therapy forms. DBT, Schema Therapy, depth psychology based therapy and so on. I was always kicked out of the therapy because I did something to me that had the conequence that they had to end it. Only the 2nd try to do DBT was nearly succesfull. I could stay there for 2 Months but nothing really changed my mind and behaviour. I only know skills but can´t use them bc they NEVER worked.
I am so ashamed of my english and I hope you can get what I try to tell you.
My question is, what do you think about this problem? What could it be? Is it DID? Or just normal BPD/Dissociation sympthoms?
♥