I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II with convulsions 3 weeks ago or so, I was given a shit ton of the drug Pregabalin, at first it was cool to have so much of this drug, now I fucking hate it and can't wait to buy some Codeine.
I'm posting here because I spent like 2·3 hours trying to wake up (I knew I was on the bed trying to do so) but at the same time I was discussing with my dad that passed away 5 years ago, and her girlfriend too. I was asking him to give me for a day some of their credit cards because mine was disabled (this is actually true). I was given an odd shaped credit card, and also received a call that my grandmother was not living anymore in the same building as mine, but in the place of my uncle.
First I would ask my dad why he didn't make a sound, and he wouldn't answer. It was like I was hearing in the real world, but in my mind I was I still dreaming… so fucking trippy.
Later I would TELL my dad I was unsure he was real because I would often dream about these sort of things and he would stay with me, talk about.. things (I don't remember about what), but I would still say everything was a lie, specially his girlfriend, I remember calling her "that moving pussy" or something like that, and she getting mad and going out.
Then my dad kinda got mad and went outside, I tried to stop it, I could fell my heart racing trying him not to leave, but obviously, he left anyway.
I did stay there for some people. Didn't take much for my frustration to make me wake up.
When I woke up I was so … I don't think there's a word to describe it, at least not in english. Took me some time to wake up, go to the bathroom, and later make me a green tea because I'm fucking poor and had nothing else in the kitchen.
Then I proceed to post this.
Kill me already.