>be Rhode Island fag
>out sitting on my porch smoking last night
>hear someone shouting at the end of my street
>a minute later, see this big dude striding down the street, Roger Cheeto-style
>he does a clumsy somersault on the grass, and I see he looks just like Sam Hyde
>shout out "Hey Sam!" to see if it's really him
>he stops and turns to look at me, it truly is sammy boi, I can't believe it
>he's still bloatmaxxed, but it surprisingly looks like he cut down to pre-WP levels, not looking nearly as disheveled as in the recent HW
>"Hey, man! Mind if I take a piss on your lawn?" he shouts back
>shout that he can come inside and use my restroom
>hold the door for him, he comes in and scares the living daylights out of my mom, then we all have a big chuckle
>get my brother (big fan) and tell him Sam Hyde's here
>I offer Sam a smoke, and he says sure, so we all go out to the back yard
>Sam seems like a genuinely good guy, not totally cynical and jaded as I was led to believe
>we laugh about clown world, and he gives sage advice to me and my brother
>I suggest we walk downtown and mess with some people on the streets, Sam agrees so I get my brother to grab a camera so we can film him
>as we're walking, I'm overjoyed by how he seems to have his spark back now
>he's quick and witty, talks about getting MDE back together, and pretty much matches the concept of Sam I had at the outset, a genuinely good guy wanting to help his fans
>it seems like the fat, lazy HW sam was just an act
>I can't believe it, it's just like the good old days
>then I wake up
Goddammit. Why do I always have such depressing dreams