Salaam Aleykum
I was born to a moroccan father and a semi-atheistic mother.
I used to be very indifferent to religion growing up, and I used to call myself an agnostic until I was about 13 years old, because that's when my father came back into my life.
I became very interested in Islam, and I began listening to islamic music, but I never recited the shahada.
I even wanted to take a circumscision, but it was not granted as I wasn't old enough to perform it, and there weren't enough medical (yes, I said it was for medical purposes, and I regret it) reasons for it to be followed through with. I think that if it was followed through with, I would have become a muslim.
A while later, my Muslim father and I went to Morocco, and my brother who had just come out of jail came with us.
My brother is a vile and degenerated [social epithet] who drank and ate pork while I heard the adhan. My weak father did not do anything to stop him, and he threatened to beat me, his only islamic oriented son, when I pointed out the huge flaws in my disgusting brother.
It was on that trip I discovered Christianity, and I began reading the Bible.
Islam had not illumined my father's heart, as he bends his knee to degenerates, so I decided to look elsewhere.
I was chrismated in the catholic church a few years ago, and I have had very good experiences with it. I have been able to do the things I agree with; opposing abortion, opposing homosexuality, and alot of other aspects.
But I often feel empty with the christian faith. I still have my Qur'an from the time when I was interested in the religion, and I have begun reading it again sometimes. One of the biggest factors if I was to convert to Islam used to be the fact that i'd be closer to my father and my paternal side of family, but that isn't the case anymore as neither me or my father are very close to eachother anymore, it'd therefore be a choice for me and me only.
Please help me, I'm longing for spiritual peace.
Ma salaama.