No.131
mystery item tomorrow
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No.132
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No.137
Ohohoho, I chose avatar.
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No.139
I would pick the rainbow
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No.151
I'd pick the stash.
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No.199
Cant decide between Skype and Godtube
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No.731
Stress free livin. God damn. I shamm wprk top try and make this an actual reality for myself, not unlimited but you know
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No.733
Dubs give me: Stress Free Livin' and the Check Box
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No.735
rollan for dollan
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No.736
e-tank installed on a pi that will be on me at all time
and i will make a program to activate the etank all the time 24/7 so that my hp will never reach zero
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No.762
Dubs
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No.1186
>>199
Congratulations, mother fucker.
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No.1188
E-Tank
As nice as some of the other god-like options are, near immortality trumps them all
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No.1189
>>1188
Oh nice, a second pick.
Godtube sounds amazing, especially since you could easily amass a fortune through it, but being able to witness everything with little powers to intervene wouldn't be that fun. Perhaps if I had a third pick.
AskAway has potential but it's limited to 2 picks. SimEarth is possibly the best for making large scale changes in society, however it doesn't offer as many opportunity for personal gain
Which leaves PowerUp, Skype, Delete and Avatar as the only good choices left.
I'm going to with Skype since it's a great combination of social skills such as mind reading, mind controlling through jedi mind tricks and telepathy (ironically the less useful power of the app) and sheer power (telekinesis up to 100 tons and flying).
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No.1223
The stash.
legit only thing I'd ever need.
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No.1232
>>131
> mall
Best way to hack this is to get yourself hired by a rich bloke who pays you a multi-million dollar salary for doing some pointless task, in exchange for buying all paintings by famous artists which have ever been sold at auction and giving them to him, as well as ancient artifacts and shit.
> the stash
Spelling error, probably? Should "Its technology permits it, virtual sex" be "If technology permits it"?
What would happen if I ask for "explaining the solution to quantum gravity porn"? Either it gets information from elsewhere to fill in the gaps of my shitty imagination, or it's limited to my shitty imagination and therefore shit.
> Ask away
First, write a compression algorithm optimised for grand advice, and mentally commit to engaging in a certain decision tree upon receiving the message. Then ask:
"What is the best answer you can give me to this question?" [where "best" is to be more carefully defined as representing my interests and wishes, as per standard wish lawyering].
4000-8000 bits of unadulterated optimised information. At least that would be a solution to quantum gravity, and at best a roadmap to building a superintelligent AI which represents my interests and takes over the universe for me.
> SimEarth
Hold the world hostage, writing out your demands in columns of fire. Kill world leaders and terrorist organisations who don't cooperate with tornadoes which appear out of nowhere. Set cities ablaze until war weariness sets in. Deter migrants from entering Europe by destroying camps and making tornados off the coast of Lesbos. Essentially, become god emperor.
> Death Note
Polite of them to let you get away with it. Does this mean you can pretty much do it out in the open? Have a rich guy bequeath all his money to me, and then croak?
While this generation of world leaders would be doomed, the next could easily switch to pseudonyms, making you powerless. Could still easily make you a billionaire, though.
> Rainbow
Get rich selling your services to conservatives with gay children. Get rich selling your services to liberals with straight children. Undercut Apple on the market by giving away a free Apple whatever with a $150 peanut. Become multi-millionaire who cures the gay away. Make every Muslim I see gay.
>!
A more limited, chaotic SimEarth. The only added benefit seems to be that you can assign scapegoats and have countries say they go to war.
> E Tank
Pretty much immortality for myself. Neat, but no world-changing potential. Make sure "your computer" can be carried with you, and you only die if you and the computer die.
> Avatar
This should specify whether you're limited to a single avatar or not. If not, this can make for great covert ops. Also pretty comfy.
> Stress Free Livin'
Comfy as fuck. Hotel food can be pretty great too, so you can live like a king. My favourite so far of the ones that don't give the option to take over the world.
> Typewriter
Shit imagination = shit app.
> Godtube
Watch the video of someone accessing a database to get access. Watch the video of someone using a key to get an image of that key. Share a video of the JFK assassination, MK Ultra, Hitler's fate, of every mystery and secret and controversy that ever happened. Not easy to keep your identity secret, though.
(1/2)
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No.1233
>>1232
(2/2)
> Music Box
Multi-millionaire, comfy.
> The Flag
Getting assassinated simulator.
> Skype
Range unclear. If close range, mind reading is the only thing of note, but still a lot less useful than godtube. Mostly interesting for the roleplaying aspects, not for any practical applications.
> Check box
More limited SimEarth, minus needing intimidation to sway the populace. Nice if you want to viscerally experience being a criminal, though you may just be killed illegally.
> The Mic
Imposter syndrome induced depression and suicide, coming right up. Possibly a neat option for sociopaths.
> The Erection
This is the single most powerful app to date. It has time travel, unlimited range, the power to paralyse and even kill. Especially if you can't kill yourself by giving your grandma an erection, this is godlike.
Find a series of photos of crowds from the same source, for example a series of WW2 rallies. Pause at a shot of the crowd. Divide the crowd into blocks. Give each block an erection or not, using a code, for example: –..—..—–..——-. The existence of women in these blocks will make the event noteworthy, and may be enough to have people at the time piece together the existence of a message, i.e. the prime numbers. Check historical records whether this was in fact discovered.
If so, they'll be on the lookout for the next message. Go to the next photograph in the series. Using smaller blocks, send a prime number series, followed by morse code "SIGNAL THRG ERECTIONS REQ PHOTOS IN 2015". In response to this, they'll hopefully make a neat, clear photo series for easy communications.
Then, using blocks of 4 people, tell them of the situation and start giving them information. You'll be able to read their conclusions and wishes online (or you can demand they make it public), as well as their advise to compress the message. In fact, you'll be able to read that advise before you think of what information to send, so you'll be sending the best information people have been able to come up with during the past century, using the information you'll be sending them.
If you find that they don't pick up the signal immediately, you can continue being obvious, or try skipping to video and giving people pulsed erections.
At the end of this feedback loop, a massive industrial revolution will occur, from the time of the first crowd shot (~1910?) to the time of your death, if ever.
If this kind of temporal manipulation isn't safe, fear not. You can still control nations by giving their populations uncontrollable orgasms (until they die from a lack of sleep or inability to feed themselves) until they acquiesce to your demands. Demands given by orgasming crowds on public television.
This should be about as powerful as SimEarth, with the benefit of not harming people directly, but the downside of not having a panopticon.
> Angry birds
Can be defeated by a trained police force. 0/10.
> Power up +
Another mediocre superpower.
So yeah, I'll definitely go with The Erection, if only because taking over the world through orgasm is hilariously undignified.
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No.1234
>>1233
(3/2) with dubs, I'll add Ask Away.
Ask what I should message back in time to whom. (where "should" is carefully defined to be best according to my values). Optimise the past, optimise the future. Win everything from 1910 onward.
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No.1592
>>131
If go with godtube. There's just so many ways to use it to benefit myself and the world around me. It's like free omnipresence.
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No.1669
>>131
The utility of E-Tank varies a lot based on whether you can transfer these apps to multiple machines. If I can keep back-up copies of E-Tank on lots of different machines, and buy new ones to copy it onto as old ones break, then this is awesome, I'm set at least until computer technology changes so radically that basic file directories are no longer a thing. If it's only on my current machine, well fuck, this thing's gonna be gone in like fifteen years even if I take extremely good care of it, so that barely even makes a difference.
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No.2155
>>131
rolling for a hopeful dubs or above
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No.3359
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No.3682
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No.9428
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No.9435
E-Tank and The Check Box
Imma live forever and create a utopian world
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No.9437
Godtube. By distributing videos of aliens, particularly alien abductions and clandestine meetings with aliens, I will upset the status quo of the world. If the powers that be don't like it, I'll share videos of their owl-worshipping wankery as well. The public will know the truth!
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No.9460
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No.9498
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No.9499
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No.9531
I'd choose Delete or Godmode to fix this world by making the needed truth be known or to burn the roots of evil.
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No.9613
>>9498
Papa needs some dubs.
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No.9614
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No.9619
Mystery box
If dubs, also Check Box
If trips, add Avatar
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